The reviews are got are appreciated! Happy 4th of July everybody! Now here's chapter nine!
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"Galbatorix the toast is burning! Eragon your shirt's on backwards! Durza stop picking your nose! Brom don't you dare touch that oven! Arya get out of the bathroom! Thorn stop flirting with Saphira! Saphira stop giving Thorn the finger!" Murtagh exclaimed, gasping for air. It was day six of his job and he was glad it was the last day. He didn't understand how Shannon could put up with this shit.
"THE INVASION IS HERE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Roran screamed, running into the kitchen and cowering in the corner. "THEY'LL SUCK OUT OUR BRAINS FOR THEIR FRUIT JUICES OF HORROR THAT WILL MAKE THEIR EYES BULGE OUT OF THEIR HEAD LIKE IN EPIOSODE THREE!"
Murtagh stared at him. "So you came for a visit?"
Roran nodded. "I-I let myself in when the aliens attacked me!" (He lives down the street with Katrina)
Murtagh kicked his idiotic cousin in the head. "There's no such thing as aliens!" he growled.
"Yes there is!" Roran insisted. "Look out the door! They're there!"
Shaking his head, he walked towards the front door. "Whatever you say Roran, whatever you say." He peered out the window and his eyes widened.
Frogs were covering the front yard. They were croaking and jumping all over the place, making Murtagh's spine shiver in disgust. (That really did happen before at my house!) Galbatorix must have set them all free again when he found out that scientist were still experimenting on them.
"RORAN!" Eragon exclaimed in excitement, running to his cousin.
"ERAGON!" Roran exclaimed in excitement, running to his cousin. They grabbed each other into a hug and smiles on their faces. "I'm so glad that the oatmeal didn't suck out your spine and put it in its birthday cake to use as a candle!"
"I'm so glad that the aliens didn't abduct you and make you drinks three quarts of chemicals to make you lay eggs for them to fry!" Eragon cried happily, both the boys close to crying in happiness, that is if they weren't crying already.
Murtagh sighed. "I sure hope Shannon's having a good time in Los Vegas."
At the entrance of a casino at Los Vegas:
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T GO IN?!" I screamed at an officer.
Elizabeth was drunk off margaritas and Victoria was flirting with a hot celebrity guy.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but you are under age. You have to be twenty to enter." The officer explained.
I leapt at the officer in fury with Elizabeth and Victoria trying to pull me back.
Back at the house:
"She's gonna need it." He added, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "At least the house is clean."
"LET'S PLAY COPS AND ROBBERS!" Eragon screeched happily.
"Oh HELL NO!" Murtagh exclaimed. He was NOT going to go through this again! They didn't even play the game right!
Durza ran in with a timer. "TEN SECONDS TO BREAK ALL THE WINDOWS WITH ROTTEN FRUIT!"
Eragon and Roran grabbed some old fruit and began to hurtle them all at the windows, breaking them as fast as they could, playing their 'game'.
"TAGGY!" called shrill, high-pitched voices that made Murtagh whimper.
"THEY FOUND ME!" he exclaimed in fear. He hid behind a lamp just in time when twenty teenage girls ran in the house. They had either colored their hair pink, or purple, or yellow, or green, or blue, or orange, or white and were wearing pink shirts that had a picture of Murtagh on them that said 'I love Taggy'.
"Hi Murtagh fangirls!" Durza exclaimed happily. Yes, Murtagh had fangirls.
The teenage girls, having a few fries short of a happy meal, didn't see Murtagh behind the lamp. So they did the best thing one brick of a wall short brains could think of.
"TRASH THE HOUSE UNTIL YOU FIND TAGGY!" The pink haired leader of the fangirls screeched. The fangirls screamed and began to tare the house apart savagely.
"I FOUND HIS GUITAR!" screamed an orange haired girl, holding up his black guitar. The girls screamed in excitement and began to fight over his stuff.
Twin sisters with yellow colored hair stopped what they were doing and sniffed the air.
"ERAGON!" They leapt at Murtagh's baby brother and held him by his feet upside down. "WHERE IS HE?!" One of the sisters demanded, while the other placed a bucket of lard underneath his head.
The idiot gave them a goofy grin. "HI GIRLS!" His head was dumped into the bucket and lifted back up.
"TALK!"
"HI GIRLS!"
(BLUP)
"TALK I SAY!"
"HI GIRLS!"
(BLUP)
5 hours later:
"Talk son of ma-gun." The twins moaned.
"HI GIRLS!" Eragon laughed.
Murtagh had fallen asleep leaning against the lamp from behind it. Droop was dripping out of his mouth and onto the cone of the lamp and he was snoring. He snorted and his head shot up when the lamp almost fell. His hands gripped the pole part to keep from falling.
"Psssst!"
"Huh?" Murtagh looked around in confusion.
"Psssst!"
Murtagh looked at the wall behind him to see Durza hanging by the wall with suction cups on his hands and feet.
"Psssst! Murtagh! I have something to tell you!" the Shade whispered. "It's important!"
"What?" he asked, losing his patience.
Durza looked around slowly to make sure no one could hear. "The cow drink molted milkshakes at midnight." He whispered in Murtagh's ear.
Murtagh stared at him with disbelief. "What?" he hissed.
"HE'S OVER HERE GIRLS!" Durza yelled, pointing at Murtagh. The girls shrieked in delight and ran towards Murtagh, dog pilling him.
This went on for another three hours.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" I screamed from the doorway. Elizabeth was in one of those wheeling bed things in a coma from drinking too many margaritas and Victoria was slung around my neck to be supported because the so called 'man celebrity' she had flirted with was Brittney Spears in disguise. So now she was in so much shock she just stared into space. (No offense to any Spears fans)
"I LEAVE THIS HOUSE FOR ONE WEEK AND I COME BACK TO FIND A WARZONE!" I yelled, setting Victoria on the wheeler bed next to Elizabeth. Cracking my knuckles with a smirk, I set to work.
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I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't as long as the others! Please read and review!
