"This is a dream, right?" Dean turned to Castiel, arching a brow. Castiel didn't answer, as they both knew he didn't have to, Dean simply wanted to be sure.
"You wanted to meet Dana, as she was before." Castiel stated simply, giving Dean the usual blank stare.
"So this isn't a dream? You brought me back in time?" Dean frowned, confused, and slightly aggravated. Truthfully, he couldn't wait. But he was afraid too, afraid this might entirely obscure his view of the skinwalker that he'd grown to love, and accept as part of his family. He wanted her just as she was, never to change.
"This is a dream. But this is the past too, nothing you say or do will affect the future. She will not remember this. As much reality as it is a dream." Dean nodded, looking around, he saw his breath in the air, and felt the cold wrap around him as he stood in the parking lot.
"Where do I find her?" Dean turned back to Castiel, looking over his shoulder.
Dean grew just slightly suspicious when Castiel's lips remained unchanged, but there was something that made him look like he smiled.
"She's inside. You'll know when you see her." Even the angel's voice seemed joyous somehow as he nodded just barely.
Dean turned, slowly looking at the large building of the parking lot. It looked ancient, decorated and sad looking like a church, grey and sharp. Dean wanted to walk inside, so bad. But he just stood there, staring at the light drawing patterns on the icy parked cars from the windows of the building. When he walked he stopped thinking. The air was thick and warm, comfortable above all was the smell, dusty and woody, in the good way not the haunted house way. There were desks, dozens, green and gold lamps on top of each of them. The walls weren't walls, shelves stacked with books older than his car. High and towering, two stories high. Just like a church it was quiet, and Dean's steps echoed as he gazed at the ancient library.
A phone rang loudly through the giant halls, almost making Dean jump. Nancy Sinatra began wailing about her boots as Dean looked around. He followed the sound, and the tired judging looks of the few readers here and there. "Sorry. So sorry." a voice whispered from around a bookshelf, right as the music stopped. "I said sorry… Jesus." the whispering voice hissed. Behind a desk stood a woman a phone in her hand, flipped open as she pressed button after button. And there was not a doubt in Dean's mind that her name was Dana. Red hair tied in a tight knot at the back of her head, a pen in her mouth.
Dean stood there mouth hanging open, he wanted her to stay like this, for him to be in this moment for as long as he pleased. A cup of coffee landed on the info-desk she stood behind. The hand that let it go belonged to another woman. Brown hair, the ugliest knit sweater Dean had ever seen.
They didn't see him, if they noticed him, they didn't care that he was staring at them around a bookshelf.
"Who was it?" the brown haired girl leant forward, resting her elbows on the high infopult, chin in her hands.
"None of your business." the redhead smiled teasingly.
"The guy asks you to marry him, and you won't even answer his calls?" the ugly sweater raised her brows high. Dean pulled a face, his dog was engaged?
"Don't you have a dictionary older than your bloodline to read somewhere?" the redhead teased, smirking as she grabbed a pen and paper.
"I'm just saying, even if it's a no, he deserves to know. You're ruining his life, Julie." the brunette muttered empathetically. Dean breathed a sigh of relief, his dog definitely wasn't engaged.
"It's just so awkward. Who proposes in a McDonald's parking lot? Impatient, nervous nerds do. No offence, by the way." Julie giggled casually.
"He's a good guy-"
"Who are you to talk about guy problems, Dana?" the redhead placed a hand on the pult, leaning on it as she looked down at… Dana.
"All you do is read books here, go to your night job at the damn gas station, and sleep in your sad, dirty apartment. Listen," Dean took a step forward when her voice grew louder. Both women looked at him, and Dean only looked at Dana gasping for words.
"Can I help you?" She stood up straight, a true and honest smile on her face making Dean's knees weaken.
"Uh- I yeah, could you come with me?" he stammered nervously.
"Sure." Oh it was definitely Dana, no questions asked, no suspicions or worries. She would come with him wherever he wanted her to come.
She smiled gently as she stepped around the desk to stand in front of him. She had a golden name tag on the collar of the eyesore sweater, wore dark grey jeans and high boots.
"What are you looking for?" she asked. Over her shoulder Dean saw the redhead look him up and down flirtatiously, any other time Dean would've pushed Dana aside, if it wasn't Dana too.
"I was- I was looking for you actually." He smiled nervously.
"Oh? Well… what can I do for you?" She looked slightly surprised, like she was thinking, before the smile returned.
"Just come with me." he didn't hesitate, wrapping his hand around her upper arm and beginning to walk.
"I'm sorry but I can't leave the building." she said suddenly when they neared the door, easily pulling her arm out of his grasp.
"Please, I'll give you all the money I got on me." Dean reached into his pocket, looking at her pleadingly.
"I- what? No, I don't want your money." she took a step back from him, brows furrowed deeply.
"Please." he begged again, expression pained.
He waited, watched her look at him something like fear in her eyes, something that told her to run from him, get help, and some familiarity. Dean didn't know why, but he knew, he knew she would nod when she did, just barely and fast, that she would take his hand when he held it out to her, and follow him outside into the biting cold.
"Let's get a coffee, what coffee do you like?" Dean talked fast as he pulled her. He thought about time, how hard he'd smack Sam if he woke him up now.
"Extra milk?" he heard her chuckle uneasily.
"My name's Dean, by the way." he stopped, letting go of her hand, turning on his heel to face her.
"That's funny… I'm Dana." she revealed her teeth as she smiled brightly, no sharp teeth. And all Dean could think was 'yet'.
"So coffee?" he raised his brows, tilting his chin down. She nodded, smiling still. "So what do you work so much for?" he asked as he held the car door open for her. Once she sat, he jogged around the car to sit behind the wheel.
"I want to go to university. I know I can get into the big game ones, it's dreadful… but I really want a good job." she looked down at her hands, chuckling bashfully.
"Like… Yale and… those others…?" Dean turned his head to the side slightly, but kept his eyes on the road as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Yeah I… I got a letter from Harvard seven months ago. i've been working my ass off to get the cash." she tilted her head back, sighing out the curse.
Dean didn't smile with relief like she did, he knew that she was doomed, that she was never going to go to that school, or get the job she wanted.
"So what's that job?"
"I want to be a Journalist, but no… no buzzfeed articles, none of that. I want to find the truth, and tell it to the world, y'know." she looked at him looking for an understanding. Den only nodded in his own world of thoughts.
"But at the same time… it's all shit. It's all boring, this job, the library, the gas station. School, it's all so… average, even if it's a good school. I want something… special." she dropped her hands onto her legs as she shrugged.
Dean laughed, smiling as he nodded. "Yeah, I get that." he chuckled.
She made him feel so much better about the knot in his stomach, the feeling that the thought of how unbelievably innocent she was. The fact that she sat in the car of a stranger, answered his questions without any of her own, it killed him. That she was going to listen and treat a monster like she treated him now.
She sat on the hood of the Impala, a coffee clutched in both of her hands, sleeves tugged over half of her hands as Dean stood in front of her sipping on his own black coffee.
"So he… doesn't get the girl?" Dean arched a brow, asking for clarification.
"Yeah! That's the great thing, for once not everything is perfect, for once the story isn't fucking cookie-cutter. I'm telling you, you need to read that book. It's so good." she smiled excitedly, nodding.
Dean didn't give a rat's ass what book she was talking about, he wasn't going to read it. All he cared about was her smile, hearing her voice, oh he could hear it forever.
"You know…. I want a story like that. Not a book, a real one, here, now. I know that won't happen at University… or really at any job." She set down the cup on the hood of the car, and crossed her arms looking up at the stars, her breath in the air like smoke in the light of the moon.
"There's this… quote, from one of my favourite authors." she looked Dean in the eyes, and he listened. "Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don't, they'll die. Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame."
Dean only chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Sounds pretty damn familiar…." he mused, looking back at her.
She was silent, brows raised high, a closed smile on her lips. She wanted him to talk, for once.
"Oh uh… I got some, family troubles back at home. Y'know the usual. S'why I live on the road now, sweetheart." he pointed at the car she was sitting on top of, smiling slightly.
"Trust me, if I had the money I'd be doing the same." she tilted her head in a dismissive manner.
All Dean had the guts to do all night was hang his jacket around her shoulders, make up things he'd never say. Some words would stay in Dean's head as he ignored the other things she said. Everyone needs a place, even if it's inside of someone else.
"Your heart's in the right place, it's your head I'm worried about." Dean said finally, as the crows flew over their heads, the sky slowly growing blue, and the birds beginning to sing. The sun was still far away from the horizon, and the cold only grew stronger.
She looked at him tiredly, her eyes heavy and brows slightly furrowed. Dean knew she just barely heard him, as he was tired too, but he refused to sleep, as he was afraid he would wake up. They had sat in the backseat, the engine running, the car was just beginning to grow warmer, and he could still see his own breath as he talked.
"You do me a favour, Dana…." he focused on his voice now, rubbing a hand over his face. "Hm?" she closed her eyes, humming questioningly.
"You stay away from… dogs. You… just don't walk alone at night. Be careful, alright…." he knew it was no use, he absolutely knew it. But he had to say it, he had to try.
"In fact, just be careful with everyone." Dean was beginning to talk to himself now, thinking of other things to warn her about.
"Why'd you even follow me? Let me take you away like that?" Dean frowned, staring at the back of the front seat, chin tilted down, his brows furrowed deeply. He didn't expect an answer, and thought he was right when there was nothing but silence, until he heard his jacket move around her, she placed her head on his shoulder in a different angle.
"But I love dogs…." She mumbled, her voice almost a whine.
Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I know you do."
"Your eyes, I think. To be honest… you look a little scary." she moved her head a little once more, getting more comfortable. "I was pretty mean as a kid, a bully maybe. I just… I grew up, I try to make up for all bad I've done, give everyone a chance, y'know. Even if I don't want to." she mumbled absentmindedly, sleep clearly taking a hold of her.
"Well that's shit." Dean shook his head, voice little more than a breath.
He leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He liked this a lot. He still thought he hated dogs, but Dana wasn't a dog. Not really, at least. She was something like his best friend, and right now she didn't even know it.
After a while, between sleep and wake, Dean heard the familiar sound of wings fluttering. When he opened his heavy eyes he saw Castiel in the front seat, looking at him through the rearview mirror.
"I want her to stay, like this." Dean knew she was asleep, and even if she wasn't, she would never remember….
"It's not an option." Castiel said simply, causing one of Dean's hand to form a fist on top of his thigh.
"You change this, you change her. You or Sam might be dead in the present." the angel elaborated carelessly, looking out the window at the coffee shop at the end of the parking lot. It was opening again as the sky turned silver.
"Then bring us back. I don't care." Dean murmured sternly.
"She's a nice girl." Dean's brows furrowed further, forehead crinkling like paper as he felt some resentment at the angel's statement. "I understand you don't want this to happen to her, but there is nothing you can do. Even the most normal people who will never accomplish anything have a destiny, Dean."
Dean couldn't help but think of the dark side she had. She wasn't a nice girl, and he was fine with it. He didn't have to handle her with caution anymore, neither did Sam. But that would never erase the vicious side she had, some bitterness that made her heartless and merciless if she wanted to be. She had it on lock, though, she could control it. But sometimes he thought she enjoyed playing vicious dog too much. It reminded him too much of himself. Though Dean would never doubt that she wouldn't even think about harming a hair on his or Sam's head.
"At least tell me how it happens." Dean growled out, finally breaking his voice out of the whisper.
Castiel looked back through the rearview mirror into Dean's eyes, as if making sure he really did want to know. The angel nodded, pursing his lips.
"She works at the gas station down the road, tomorrow night." Dean took in a deep breath, holding it for a while. "A man will come in, she will be the only one working that night, her coworker will be late. It will be well into the night. He will buy cigarettes and a microwavable meal. On his way out he will slap her rear. And she will call him a dog, tell him to go home to his bitch of a mother…. Her shift will be over five in the morning. She will try to run from what she will think is a stray dog. There will be posters on every surface of this town for the next five months." Dean's lip quivered, he could just see it in his head. He gently placed his hand on top of her head on his shoulder, lowering his head to hide his hazy sight.
"She loves you, as well as Sam." Dean's head shot up to look at Castiel once more, but he wasn't looking back, watching staff of the coffee shop lift chairs of the tables.
"She'll be fine. Even as a dog. She is content." Castiel gave a single affirmative nod.
"Also." Castiel lifted a finger, turning slightly in his chair to look over his shoulder.
"She would like you to know, it would be much easier to get girls with her by your side." the angel cleared his throat, and Dean tried not to laugh, to stop his chest from rising and falling, not to wake her up.
"Wait, how do you know that?" He frowned suddenly, eyes narrowing as Castiel turned back in his seat to look ahead.
"Telepathy, Dean. I can still understand her in her… less human form." the angel muttered.
"And you never thought to tell me and Sam that?" the first word came out as a loud bark, before Dean thought better than to yell with the girl on his shoulder.
The angel sighed, lowering his chin as if to drop his head. "Her favourite colour is green. She likes it when Sam puts his hand on her head, when he keeps it there. She still thinks about, and regrets frightening both of you when you first met." Dean wanted the list to go on, so he nodded, a stern expression on his face, lips tight, jaw set, telling the angel to go on.
He felt his stomach turn, in a good way, an exhilarating cold spreading through him.
"She likes it when you kiss the top of her head, when you rub her neck roughly…. She hates it…" the angel sighed audibly. "... when you two think she wants to play with other dogs. Especially Sam, because he's so happy about it. That one time when she sneezed in your face, it was on purpose. She genuinely likes the cheap dog food the most…. She isn't proud of it." Dean let out a 'ha' at that, finally, the apples of his cheeks rising, dimples showing as he grinned.
"She likes walking without a leash, close to either of you. She thinks it makes you look 'cool', she likes the looks people give you. At the same time she likes it when you keep her on a tight leash, it makes her look dangerous. She pulls to emphasize, not because she doesn't like it." Dean could tell, Castiel was beginning to feel exasperated. And he could just imagine the angel thinking 'I am a messenger of god, not a dog's' in his head. It only made him happier. It simply filled him with joy to know all of this, to finally know things he never even considered. He couldn't wait to tell Sam.
The angel cleared his throat one more time. "She wants you to take here somewhere one day, she's been trying to figure out how to tell you. A place with children, a playground, a school. She likes them." The angel looked out the window, jaw moving slightly. Yeah, Dean knew after this he wasn't going to get any more out of him.
"Oh." The angel was now smiling just barely as he turned his head to look at Dean from the corner of his eyes. "The pink collar was for you. She actually wants a collar for every day of the week. Though she thinks a chain or something like it would look more… badass. She saw it on television, but neither of you were there to try to tell."
Dean barely had the time to think about nor process what the angel had said when he opened his eyes. He didn't remember closing them, but he realised what must've happened when he saw the slightly green tinted ceiling of their current motel room.
Okay, this is where I sort of ruined the fic for myself. I didn't know if I wanted Sam and Dean to just have a damn dog, or for Dana to become human again, and stay human, and be their friend. But that's fucking weird. I fucked it all up for myself. But don't worry, sadly, it goes on.
