What Else
Chapter 9: When You Say Nothing At All
Author: AmandasArmada
Rating: T
Author's Note: THIS IS CHEESY AS FUCK AND I REGRET NOTHING :D
(On a more serious note – this fic is definitely really fluffy, but I feel like it's justified by two things –One, C.J.'s actions in "Institutional Memory" would be a huge springboard for her becoming more affectionate and serious in their relationship, and I think she'd feel like she had to do something big to show Danny that she really did care. I also think the lack of stress after the Inauguration would allow her to reach out more, because I think at the end of the day C.J. is a very emotional (in a good way) as well as emotionally-mature person. Two, although the lovey-dovey stuff might seem a little much, I feel like it's more or less accurate at the beginning of a relationship. They're in the "honeymoon" stage.
(About a week after returning from Michigan.)
February 13, 2007
She smiled at her reflection as she put in her right earring, pausing to admire the effect the blue gems had when they sparkled. She felt happy and confident, and completely stress-free – Josh's calls had been getting more and more infrequent, and she'd gotten the chance to talk to Carol, subtly trying to gauge her reaction should she offer her a job with the Hollis Foundation. A few days before, C.J. had received files from Mattison, her liaison to Franklin Hollis's resources, containing research she'd requested so she could start compiling a starting plan. The rush of getting something accomplished without the pressure of the White House left her almost giddy. Earlier that day she'd picked out a new bikini, trying to stockpile again now that she was back in L.A. She laughed to herself, imagining Danny in shorts, holding hands on the beach, but the schmaltzy image changed to one with his arms around her, standing on a patio under the sun, looking out at the mountains, or her letting him take her to the boardwalk in Santa Monica and do the cutesy couple thing. He'd buy her cotton candy and she'd beat him at the basketball game, but let him win at the balloon darts so he didn't feel bad. There was so much for them still to do.
She looked at her body in the blue dress, imagining Danny taking it off of her. It was their last night together for a few days, because he was flying out the next morning for a story he'd been working on for the better part of a year. She planned on giving him something to remember her by while he was gone.
When she met Danny in the living room twenty minutes later, her face lit up, delighted at the sight of Danny standing in a suit, a dozen roses in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. "Oh my god. Danny...You're so sweet, it's ridiculous," she said smiling, wrapping her arms around him as she pulled him in for a kiss.
"I try," he replied smiling. He looked her over, his eyes widening a little. "That's quite a dress."
"Come on, nimrod." She kissed him quickly. "Let's get this show on the road."
That evening.
"I feel really bad about not being here tomorrow," Disappointment was written all over Danny's face as he gazed at her across the table, two candles flickering upon it.
C.J. looked up over the glass of chardonnay poised at her lips. She laughed lightly, surprised. "Seriously? Don't." She took a sip, smiling. "You have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I can't even remember the last time I celebrated Valentine's Day. I mean, aside from a few heart-shaped lollipops left on my desk by Carol - and although I always found it very sweet, she's not really my type." She set the glass down.
"Well, yeah," Danny said in his soft voice. "You don't really need to tell me about the effect your work has had on your love life," he chuckled. "But that's why I really wanted to make this special. Because as great as you are at being the kickass career woman - that's not all you are," Danny said pointedly. "I wanted to do the big romantic gesture thing. You deserve it." Danny paused. "It's not too late. I can call my editor and tell her to send someone else." His voice had a question in it.
"Danny, no," C.J. emphasized. "This has been your story from the beginning, you've been working on it on and off for months – god, it even distracted you from the election. This is your last big story for the Post. It's your Swan Song. I don't want to mess that up," CJ said earnestly.
Danny rubbed his beard, looking conflicted. "How ironic is it that our big Day of Love is being ruined by my work commitments?"
"Not so ironic, given your rather celebrated and prolific career," CJ pointed out dryly. "Although if you refer to it as our 'Day of Love' in public that might take a nosedive, I'm not gonna lie to you."
Danny smiled, then carried on. "But that's the thing," he looked at her sincerely. "This is our first Valentine's Day together as a real couple. Hopefully...the first of many." He looked almost shy. "I wanted to make some memories."
C.J. smiled at him. "We are making a memory – just a little early." She reached across to take his hand. "And like you said, we're going to have a lot more of these," it was her turn to blush, and Danny was reminded of the awkward unsure-of-herself woman he'd first fallen for all those years ago. He beamed at her.
C.J. looked around the restaurant. "Besides, this place is lovely, Danny. Really. And the flowers, and candy – you filled your Valentine's Day Boyfriend Quota, as far as I'm concerned." She took a bite of her food, her casual demeanor betrayed by the small smile on her face.
"Ah, well, you're really gonna be blown away by this then," Danny said, a little smugly, putting a flat square box on the table.
"You got me a present?" C.J. gasped.
"Couldn't help myself," Danny said easily.
C.J. looked faintly horrified. "I forgot couples get each other presents! I didn't even think about Valentine's Day until you said something a couple days ago, I'm so sorry Danny-"
Danny laughed. "I really wasn't expecting anything. I think after 8 years of waiting, getting to sit across from you is more than enough." He pushed the box towards her. "Open it."
C.J. picked it up tenderly, looking at the wrapping. "It's nothing big," Danny said, unable to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "I was just...browsing, and I saw it, and I thought of you."
"Ohhhh-" C.J. breathed softly. "Danny, it's beautiful. You want to help me put it on?"
Danny smiled, standing up and walking over to her, helping her clasp the glittering bracelet over her wrist. "I wanted to get ya something more personal. The day just kinda snuck up on us."
"No, I love it," C.J. said honestly. "Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss before he returned to his side of the table.
"You're so sweet," C.J. repeated, looking at him across the table. "It's pretty corny," Danny admitted laughing.
C.J. continued to smile, thinking of her own upcoming plans. "Corny can be good."
Three days later.
"Shit." C.J. cursed, her hand slipping in the pot holder as she whisked across Sam's kitchen. The new condo was as familiar as possible to her now, but she'd never felt particularly at home in this room – her cooking skills were minimal at best.
Setting the pot down, she looked at her watch and swore again.
This was an incredibly stupid idea.
But fifteen minutes later it was done – her pathetically feeble, but hopefully endearing, attempt at domesticity. So it wasn't exactly gourmet – spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread – but it was nothing to be embarrassed about either. And anyway, hopefully her dress would make up for it.
She'd entertained briefly the idea of wearing the blue dress she'd picked up with Kate the month before, mostly as a joke (Danny's eyes had certainly bugged out enough the last time she wore it), but it wasn't right for the mood she was going for tonight. The dress she had chosen was black and simple, elegant but homey, and looked lovely with the offset of the bracelet Danny had given her. C.J. looked around the kitchen one last time, her nerves making her body tingle. The table was set. Two candles she'd managed to dig out of a box marked "Miscellaneous" sat in the middle. She double checked to make sure she'd remembered to plug in the CD player, and checked that the bread she was keeping warm in the oven wasn't actually burning.
CJ wiped her hands on her dress, feeling beads of sweat reforming even as she pulled them away. The sound of a key in the lock broke her out of her reverie.
Danny stepped into their apartment, his hair windswept by the February air and pulling a suitcase on wheels. When he saw what she'd done, he stared, a wide grin breaking out.
"Surprise," CJ said smiling, shrugging her shoulders modestly. "Hey, handsome," she greeted him, walking over to him and taking his suitcase, then helping him get his coat off. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Danny said in a daze, pulling her in for a long kiss. "What's all this?"
"I thought I'd try making you dinner for a change."
Danny was grinning broadly. "Is this gonna be edible?"
She leaned forward to plant a kiss on him. "Can't be any worse than anything they were offering on the plane, really."
"Fair point," he responded happily, wrapping his arms around her.
Later that evening.
Half an hour later, Danny's innocent voice broke through the companionable silence, making C.J. look up.
"Any chance you put The Jackal on this CD?"
They were sitting across from each other at the table, having already made their way through three-fourths of the food. Danny had very sweetly complimented her cooking, which, while admittedly had turned out perfectly fine, nevertheless would have been pretty hard to mess up in the first place.
She caught the mischievous glint in his eye. "Don't press your luck, mister."
"'Kay," he said smiling, and his eyes twinkled. "Seriously, CJ. This is amazing." His voice cracked a bit in that cute way it had.
"Well, I wanted to talk to you," CJ said carefully. "I've been thinking a lot while you've been gone."
"Oh yeah? What's up?" Danny asked promptly, setting his fork down.
C.J.'s face was flushed. Danny looked at her expectantly.
C.J. took a deep breath. She raised her eyes to meet his. "Well," she repeated matter-of-factly, trying to keep her confidence even as a nervous smile tugged at her lips. "We've been dating for awhile now – known each other a lot longer than that. And these past few months have been been...wonderful, actually. For the first in time in my life, I feel really, really happy with someone. Secure."
Danny gazed at her, holding his breath. He reached across the table and took her hand in his.
"And I know it's been kind of a mess, for big chunks of it. I didn't get to spend as much time with you during the administration as we both would have liked. So maybe this is a bit fast – and if that's the case, that's fine – I get it."
"C.J.."
"Yeah," she said, looking up at him briefly, before closing her eyes for a second. "I just mean, it's really confusing – we've been close for so long, but this relationship thing is still kinda new, but - in a way it's not."
"Right."
"And I'm feeling in the spirit of brave gestures. Not that – not that I'm not eager or anything. Because I am. That's kind of the point," C.J. inhaled anxiously. "Maybe 'grand gestures' would have been a better word. I was just – going off your theme. Heroic postures."
"I got it," Danny said gently, leaning forward.
"So – I was thinking," C.J. looked at him, her puppy dog eyes peeping steadily from under her movie-star lashes. "We've been spending so much time together. Since we started seeing each other, I've been really happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. And we're jumping off this cliff together, moving across the country," C.J. said, her voice quiet but excited. "I mean, I'm happy here for the time-being, but maybe it would make sense for us to think about getting a place together at some point. Instead of our own separate places, I mean."
"Would that make sense?" Danny asked innocently, enjoying this.
"Well – maybe it wouldn't. I don't know. But it's what I want. To talk about, at least," C.J. said, her eagerness breaking through the weariness in her face.
"You want to live with me?" Danny asked, a grin lighting up his face.
"That's what I'm getting at."
"I think we can work something out," Danny said softly. He stood up, walking around the table to her and crouching down to kiss her. It was several minutes before he finally truly pulled away.
Twenty minutes later.
The evening stretched on serenely. The dishes were rinsed and soaking, the candles still smoking moments after they had been blown out.
"You want to listen to something?" CJ asked a little shyly, tipping her head towards the CD player, which she'd turned off as they'd started to clear the table.
"Sure," Danny said warmly.
She walked over to the CD player, selecting number 10 and pushing play. She turned, stepping up to him as the first few notes filtered out. He wrapped his arms around her, and she considered putting her head on his shoulder, but decided she wanted to be looking at him for this. It felt so soft and natural to be doing this, and her mind raced with thoughts of the past 8 years as she gazed into his eyes. Danny was looking at her, completely enraptured.
It's amazing how you
can speak right to my heart
"I wasn't sure if this was ever going to happen," Danny said hoarsely.
"You're telling me," C.J. replied softly.
Without saying a word,
you can light up the dark
They swayed back and forth, the words washing over them.
"Danny," C.J. said softly.
"It's okay," Danny said gently. "You don't have to say anything."
He leaned in and kissed her, and just like the first kiss they'd ever shared, she felt dizzy and floating when they finally pulled apart. She leaned in and started kissing him again, slow and soft, then more firmly, feeling the fireworks go off in her stomach. Danny spun her slowly as the music continued, his lips leaving hers for moments at a time so they could breathe. After a minute C.J. finally broke it off, feeling the heat of Danny's breath on her face as he looked at her.
C.J. blinked slowly, and the words came out easier than she'd expected.
"I'm in love with you."
Their eyes locked, Danny froze, his eyes searching hers.
"I think I got distracted there. What did you say?" He breathed.
C.J. looked steadily into his eyes.
"You heard me." She kissed him again, pulling away after a few seconds. Danny leaned forward eagerly, trying to rekindle it, but she put her hands on his shoulders, keeping focused on his face. "I'm in love with you," she repeated. "Ridiculously, stupidly in love with you. Head over heels. You make me crazy, and you make me happy, and I'm glad I jumped off the cliff with you." Danny grinned, radiant, and his eyes were wet. "Say it again," he whispered.
"I love you." She beamed back at him.
She kissed him, and it was a long time before either one of them came up for air.
