In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko and "Love Hina" by Akamatsu Ken, each used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.


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"Chibified"
'Extreme Rules'
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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"And now we come to tonight's main event, don't we, Chibi-ko?"

"That's right, Chibi-ma. And may I say, I'm surprised that Kuno's lasted this long without dedicating a fight to his 'pigtailed goddess'?"

The nightmare never seemed to end. It had taken months for his noble body to recover from the damage done him that day, but he knew his soul still suffered. He now saw those accursed puppets in his dreams, the one was but the foul sorceror in miniature, not daring to hide its evil from the world, and the other was not a prison to his Pigtailed Maiden's soul but rather an evil thing made in her image to taunt him. Oh, it was to mourn, that the vile Saotome would unleash such hideous creations upon the world to do his bidding as he was too weak spiritually to defeat the pure soul of the Blue Thunder. That his stain upon the family honor of a father had gone so far as to do this only proved to Kuno Tatewaki that all hope for his family's future rested upon his noble brow. To think that one in whom the blood of Kuno flowed would not only permit the existance of those accursed puppets but to willingly invite them into the sacred halls of learning of Furinken High School to defile with their presence and their words the noble art of Kendo and the sacred competition between schools... oh, such disgrace upon his family's honor...

"...What was the name of the other school again?" One of the accursed puppets commented.

The other, the mocking one, the insult to his Pigtailed Maiden, answered with a shrug, "Who knows or cares? I'm just here to see Kuno get his ass kicked."

"Can you say that in public?" Chibi-ma frowned.

"Anyone who has a problem with that," his 'sister' answered, "can take it up with my foot when it kicks their ass."

"Okay, before Chibi-ko has us arrested for creating a public disturbance or something... Kuno's challenger for this evening's main event - an 'anything goes' bokken fight to the finish - Aoyama Motoko of the Shinmeiryu School of Swordsmanship."

"With any luck, it will be a fight to Kuno's finish," Chibi-Ko muttered loud enough for her microphone to pick up.

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Forty minutes later, the fight still went on.

"Oh, come on!" Chibi-ko shouted in frustration, "Somebody kick somebody's ass, I don't care whose anymore!"

The fight was also proving that Kuno's losses against Ranma weren't because he wasn't skilled with a bokken or katana - rather that he was too skilled, skilled to the point of being unable to know what to do when his opponent didn't use a similar weapon and thus fought beyond Kuno's realm of knowledge. Aoyama, for her part, was equally skilled and so the fight continued in a deadlock with neither side able to gain supremacy over the other long enough to force it to a conclusion.

Chibi-ma looked at the stands and the people getting up from their seats and heading for the doors... and shook his head, "When the audience starts leaving, that's when you know that somebody just needs to end the damn fight."

"Where the hell's the damn ref?" Chibi-ko swore, flipping her red ponytail over her shoulder, "Just declare this fight a draw already so we can go home!"

"Lesser Air-Cutting Flash!"

The two chibi-puppets watched as Aoyama's special technique launched Kuno out of the ring and through the wall.

"Was that legal?" Chibi-ma asked.

"Who cares? I'm just glad this is over!" Chibi-ko answered, "I haven't been this bored since that droning English guy substituted for Hinako-sensei and put the entire class to sleep."