This chapter is about how Mai plans to get revenge on me for what I did to her in chapter 5. It doesn't turn out the way she wishes it would though.
(I enter the kitchen and pick up a banana from the fruit basket. Mai enters holding a very large dagger.)
Me: (looks at the dagger) Could you not wave pointy objects around while I'm eating please?
Mai: Today is the day that I'm getting revenge on you for what you did to me at the water park.
Me: (confused) Huh?
Mai: Surely you remember don't you?
Me: Let me ponder this for a brief moment. (starts pondering)
(Mai stands there waiting for me to remember.)
1 hour later.
(Mai blank face starts forming a scowl.)
2 hours later.
(Mai scowl is getting bigger.)
3 hours later.
(Mai starting growling and shaking from impatience.)
4 hours..
Mai: (turns around and yells) TY LEE! Get out of here right now and take those time cards with you!
Ty Lee: (shakes with fear then runs out of the kitchen while carrying time cards)
Mai: (looks at the clock) It's only been about 8 minutes. (looks at me) Could you make it briefer?
Me: (remembers) Oh yeah, I remember now.
Mai: Good. This dagger in my hand is one of a kind. I've been saving it for a special occasion.
Me: So, I'm the special occasion huh?
Mai: Yes, I'm going to kill you with just one hit from this.
Me: You know if it's going to kill me in one hit don't you think that you have to get up close and personal with me or something like that.
Mai: Huh...no. Look, Here's how I'll do it. (turns away) You leave when I say go and I'll give you a 5 second head start. How about that? (turns back toward me to find that I'm not there anymore) (confused) Huh? (runs to the front door and sees me running down the street) Hey, get back here!
Me: (while running) You said to leave when you said go.
Mai: (growls and starts chasing me down the street)
(Mai is chasing after me down the side of the street. I eat the banana while running and drop the peel behind me. Mai slips on it and falls on her face.)
Mai: Man, that is so old.
(Mai turns around at the sound of a horn to see a 16 wheeler truck heading right for her.)
Mai: (wide eyed) Oh Agni...
Me: (covers eyes while the truck goes over Mai)
(I look at the street to see Mai lying facedown on the street. She now has a tire track going down the middle of back.)
Mai: (manages to stand up) Oh Agni... that really hurts.
Me: You're not a very good truck stop you know that?
(Mai gives a death glare. I run away again while she chases after me with an aching back. I run into the city dump with Mai in tow. I make a turn around a large pile of garbage.)
Mai: You're not giving me the slip. (makes the same turn and steps on a rake so that the stick part hits her face) (holding her nose) Ouch!
Me: You need to watch your step around here.
Mai: (growls)
Me: Leaving now! (runs of with Mai coming after me)
(Mai is now chasing me through a empty construction yard. On the run through I jump on top of an orange metal bar lying on the ground that is tied to a crane. Mai jumps onto the bar too but I move so that I catch her in my arms.)
Me: (while tossing her out of my arms) Oopsy-Daisy. (Mai lands in a mud puddle)
Mai: Ew! I can't be wearing brown I'm an emo here!
Me: If you weren't so emo more guys would want to go out with you. Besides the color of mud suits you very well.
Mai: Do you have to say something every time something happens to me?
Me: It is up to me and me alone. (runs off)
(While Mai is chasing me I into a rodeo.)
Me: (running) Big crowd what's going on? (spotlight shines on me and Mai and I notice we are in the center area where the events take place) This is unexpected.
Stadium Announcer: Now, give a round of applause to the rodeo clowns.
Mai: (enraged) WHAT!? Do I look like a clown to you!?
Me: (sarcastically) I can see the resemblance.
Mai: (grabs my shirt and pulls out special dagger) You have cause me enough problems for a lifetime. I'm going to make sure your end comes way earlier then mine. What are you going to do about it now huh? (gives me an evil smile)
Me: (looks behind her) I'd wait about another 7 more seconds.
Mai: (confused) Huh? (turns around to see a bull charging at her) Whoa! (tosses me in one direction and dives in the other direction to avoid the bull)
(The bull skids to a stop, turns around, and starts looking between me and Mai. It aligns itself so that its facing Mai and starts getting ready to charge.)
Mai: Why is it looking at me?
Me: You are wearing red. Bulls are attracted to the color red.
Mai: Oh Agni...(runs off with the bull chasing her)
Me: I guess this is now over with. (runs out of the rodeo)
(I'm running down the sidewalk on the way home when Mai jumps out of an alleyway)
Mai: (angrily) I got you now!
Me: (runs away from her) You don't give up do you?
Mai: I won't stop hunting you till I finally... (slips and falls on her face) Ouch. (looks by her feet to find the same banana peel from earlier) This isn't my day.
(A horn sounds as the same truck from earlier drives toward Mai.)
Mai: (wide eyed) Not again!
Me: (looks away as truck goes over Mai) (looks at Mai to see her lying face down with a second tire track on her back.) I think that was the same truck judging by the license plate.
Mai: (gets up holding her back) Why do I keep getting hurt?
Me: Maybe if you leave me alone you would stop getting hurt.
Mai: (gives me a glare of death)
Me: You don't want to listen to me do you? (runs away from Mai)
(I open a door to a building and close the door after I enter. Mai does the same thing. Mai opens the door and runs out with the rodeo bull chasing her.)
Mai: (screaming while running away with the bull following close behind)
Me: (stands in the doorway) That was an unusual display of luck.
(I'm running home again and Mai jumps out of an alleyway again.)
Me: I know the que. (runs away with her chasing me)
Mai: Come back here? (chases me only to slip on the banana peel)
Me: They say three's the charm.
Mai: (grumbles) (hears the truck coming and lies on the street covering her head) No, not again!
(The truck drives around her that time. Mai looks up and sees me standing in front of her holding a detour sign.)
Mai: (confused) Why did you help me? I thought you were enjoying seeing me in pain.
Me: Don't know what made you think that in the first place. I'm just the type of person that doesn't like to see others get hurt constantantly like that. Basically, I thought that if I helped you now it would make up for the water park incident. I apologize and it would probably be best for us to keep today to ourselves agreed?
Mai: (gets up and then slices my stomach with the knife she was saving) Ha! and again Ha! I did get you in one hit just like I said.
Me: Darn you! (pulls out a ketchup bottle from under my shirt) You just cut my ketchup bottle!
Mai: (dumbfounded) Why do you keep a ketchup bottle in your shirt?
Me: For luck of course. By the way you said you were only going to take one swipe at me and you just wasted it so now you can't kill me.
Mai: What makes you say that?
Me: (pulls out a book from underneath my shirt and flips to a page) It says it right here in the knife thrower code book in the section that talks about killing people.
Mai: (looks at the page then glares at me) Darn you! I'll have my revenge one way or another!
Me: Feel free to call me when you want to go on a date again. (runs away)
Mai: (growling and starts walking) That fool thought it was a game the whole time? I'll make him pay. Nobody mocks me and lives to tell about. All find a way to make him...(slips on the banana peel) Darn it! Why does this keep happening to me? (hears the truck coming) Oh, Agni...
(Truck goes over Mai.)
Mai: (gets up) I hate my life. (falls back down)
Poor Mai. Sorry to all of you Mai fans, but that is the way the cookie crumbles. I'm sure she'll find a way sooner or later.
Mai: This isn't funny you idiot!
Me: You don't have the right to speak since I'm the one writing the story.
Mai: I'll get you yet!
Me: (whistles) Come here T-Bone!
Mai: (confused) T-Bone? (Looks behind her to see the bull glaring at her) Oh Agni...
RR please!
