What did Gaara do to Deidara and Zetsu? The Akatsuki are trying their best to welcome back Tobi, but he don't give two shits!! And Naruto is faced with some unwelcome company.

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, but if I did, there'd be a musical.

R&R!

Dear god, it's been a long time. I thank you all for giving me such nice reviews! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. GOMENNASAI! I've been having some shit happen in my life.

But, here I am! :D Read, rate, and be merry!


Deidara sighed. From what he heard, it had been about 2 months since his blunder at the Kazekage's office. The jail wardens were actually pretty nice to him and Zetsu for some reason, allowing them to walk around in a dungeon instead of being locked up.

"Uh..Wanna play charades, un?" Deidara suggested.

"Oh, ok." Zetsu said sarcastically. "Okay, two words." He stuck up his middle finger at Deidara, and glared at him.

"Oh come on, un, you're not gonna forgive me?" Deidara whined, crossing his arms.

"Asshole, if you didn't royally fuck up, we'd have found Tobi by now." Zetsu spat. Both sides were equally pissed at him. It was hard to tell which was which anymore.

Deidara looked away. He knew it was his fault. His fault for everything. They were to be sentenced to death after having their arms chopped off so they couldn't use jutsu. He looked around, bored. He always looked around the cell everyday, just so he could see if there was a possible escape route. He always thought the walls looked weird, but didn't ask the wardens what they were made of. Today though, he had a feeling.

"Yo, guard, un." Deidara called out, keeping his gaze on the wall.

"Whaddya want?" He heard an angry, feminine, voice snarl out to him.

"What are these walls made of, un?"

"Uh..." a different voice came, this time masculine. "I think stone and clay."

"Clay, un?" Deidara repeated, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, clay." the same voice said. "Anything else?"

"Nah." Deidara smirked, glancing at Zetsu. Zetsu looked at Deidara, also allowing a smirk. Why are guards so stupid?

He placed his hand against the wall, the mouth on his hands greedily sniffing out the clay and chewing it. They spat out a magnificent bomb, one shaped like a bird.

He placed it against the wall, and shouted, "KATSU!!"

A large explosion rang through the cell, the force of it making the door fly open.

"Let's get the fuck outta here, un!!" Deidara shouted, already making a break for it, thanking whichever god took pity on him.

"Right behind ya." Zetsu said calmly, although he felt excited.

"Son of a bitch!!" the guards yelled, storming into the cell, only to see no one.

Zetsu and Deidara raced through the town, nearly impossible to see. They leaped over the walls, not caring about secrecy anymore, forgetting about the supplies they had left.

Deidara and Zetsu ran for a long time, heading towards the Akatsuki Lair. If they were lucky, Tobi managed to slither his way back. If not, then fuck that, they'd send someone else to go. There was no way they could keep doing this.

They slowed their pace to a brisk walk, and as they drew closer to their home, they walked at a leisurley pace. It wasn't like they had anything to look forward to when they got back anyway...

"Oh...my...gawd." Itachi and Kisame said in unison. Tobi stared at them. Kisame acted as Hidan and Kakuzu did, running right up to him and glomping him. "When did you - how did you -??"

Tobi sighed and grumbled. Itachi cocked an eyebrow. This was Tobi? This...This... Itachi clone?? There can only be ONE Itachi!

Itachi advanced towards Tobi slowly. He stared at him with cold onyx eyes with the calm, yet angry, scowl on his face. "Get happy again, Tobi. Soon. If you don't stop acting like...like fucking ME, I swear to god I will kill the shit out of you. Do you understand?"

Tobi smirked under his mask. What a fool. "Oh, yes, of course Princess Itachi." he said mockingly. "Spare me. I have no time for your foolishness, you spoiled little bitch. You will kill me? Hah. Get your head out of your ass and clear the shit from your brain. I can kill you, foolish little Itachi. And don't you forget it."

Itachi stood there, shocked, as all of this sunk in. Kisame backed away from the two fueding parties and watched uncomfortably as they stared each other down. Then -

"THAT'S IT, NUMBNUTS!" Itachi roared. Before Kisame could get his partner and hold him back, Tobi had already lunged out and caught Itachi by the throat. "You little child." Tobi murmured, tightening his grip. Itachi was too scared to think of activating his Sharingan. He made throaty choking noises as wild thoughts raced through his head. This can not be Tobi...Tobi can't do these things...Sasuke...I...I... Everything went fuzzy. Air...air... Itachi closed his eyes slowly. Apparantly, this was it...

"PUT HIM THE FUCK DOWN, UN!!" an all-too familiar voice yelled out. Tobi whipped around, dropping Itachi out of shock. His limp figure thumped onto the floor like an ugly old rag doll no one wanted. Kisame dropped to his knees, laying Itachi's head straight trying to clear his airways. Itachi coughed; he wasn't dead. But already deep purple bruises were forming around Itachi's skinny neck, marring his perfect skin.

Tobi was lost in his own little world. He stared at his lost senpai. "Dei..Deidara-kun..." he said breathlessly. A thousand jolts of what he once was spurned through him; and Tobi said in the voice that they had all missed, "Tobi is a good boy!"

Then it was gone.

Tobi growled. "I am leaving, Deidara-senpai." he said with a mix of disgust and disappointment.

"The hell you are." Zetsu snarled. He was as hopelessly lost and confused as anyone there, but that didn't stop him from grabbing Tobi and holding his wrists behind his back so he couldn't perform jutsu.

"Now," Zetsu said pleasantly. "Care to tell us why you're here, Tobi?"

Tobi glared at Deidara. "I honestly have no idea, I just walked here. Fuck." Deidara looked at him uncomfortably.

He cleared his throat uncertainly, and said, "Tobi...I wish to have a word with you, un."


Aw, shit! It's getting hardcore up in this motherfucker!

Next chapter: Tobi and Deidara let loose everything in the comfort of their own bedroom. Well, almost everything.

Whatever happened to Naruto? Has he finally given up?

Hell no, that wouldn't be his shinobi way!!

STAY TUNED!!