Naruto: you like throwing a shit tone of twists into this story, don't you?
Ino: indeed I do ^ ^ and ooo I'm so happy! I just got around to rewriting the lemon so it doesn't sound like total shit-on-a-stick-in-a-sack TwT I'm soooooo happy!!!

Sasuke: *reads through Ino's math folder*… why is there so much yaoi in your math homework?

Ino: because I'm cool like that…

Naruto: *peeks into folder* … ooooo!!! That's this chapter!!

Ino: yeah… I wrote this chapter during play rehersal… and rewriting it is so lame… that's why it's taken me so long

Naruto: *reads, then spontaneously clutches arm*

Ino: *shoves reader in the face* YOU!!! JUST READ THE FANFIC!!! You don't need to know what happens until it happens O-K?

Chapter 9?... yeah… 9: 'We Gotta Stop Making People Faint…'

Naruto sat in the medical examination room; all his clothes had been removed with the exception of his boxers. He was leaning forward with his hands resting on his knees supporting his upper body. His mop of golden blond hair, which was no longer supported by his headband, hung in his eyes as he looked at his bare feet.

Tsunade had been in earlier, her and captain Yamato had preformed a reinforcement jutsu to strengthen the seal on the Kyuubi's chakra. Naruto leaned over further, ghosting his right hand over the Kyuubi's seal, it burned at his touch, but his face betrayed nothing of the pain.

Sakura pushed the examination room door open, holding in one hand a clipboard, her other hand just barely behind her back. "Your test results are in Naruto, you're clean as a whistle." She smiled at him as she handed him the clipboard to inspect. Naruto straitened his back, running his eyes over the results.

Sakura's arm whipped out from behind her back and before Naruto had a chance to react, thrust a needle into his right arm. His arm instantly went limp, but his face screwed up in the unexpected pain, his left hand gripping his knee.

Sakura smiled at him. "That's a tracking device, they are used commonly in Anbu to track the stats and locations of their operatives."

Naruto half-heartedly glared at the pink haired medical ninja. "Why couldn't you have just given me one of those tracking seeds of captain Yamato's?"

"Baka…" She sighed, knowing Naruto would need an explanation. "Because captain Yamato won't be anywhere near you or Sasuke-Kun while you are on that mission. Of course Sasuke-Kun will be getting one too in addition to all the immunizations he missed while he was gone."

Naruto nodded, handing back the clipboard to Sakura. "You're free to go now; Sasuke should be done with Tsunade and Yamato in about an hour or so." With that she shot Naruto another smile, turned and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind her.

Naruto cast about the room, searching for his discarded clothes. When they were located, he dressed himself as quickly as possible with a still semi-limp arm and bolted out the door to wait in the lobby for Sasuke.

---(O.o)U ow… teh doom!!!---

Meanwhile, in a different examination room, Sasuke was getting no better treatment. Both his arms were as sore as if they were broken from the seven-some-odd injections he had received from an all too cheerful Sakura. Tsunade had been working on sealing his curse mark for the past hour and a half. He had opted to have the tracking device injected into the nape of his neck instead of one of his already abused arms. After three hours of poking and prodding and this test and that test, his penitence was almost burned out. He was itching to get out and see his blond.

Naruto sat in the waiting room drumming his hands on his lap and tapping his toes impatiently, not able to hold back his anxiousness. Time seemed to pass at a crawl; a minute passed like five and Naruto's cerulean eyes kept darting back and forth between his feet, Shizune at the front desk, and the clock on the wall. He looked at his feet, then glanced left at Shizune, then right to the clock.

Feet.

Shizune.

Clock.

Feet.

Shizune.

Clock.

Feet.

Clock.

Feet.

Clock.

Clock.

Clock...

This cycle occupied Naruto's impatient mind for a good 15 minutes, drumming his hands and tapping his feet all the while. He was about to get up and ask Shizune how much longer Sasuke's "check up" would take, but Hinata pushed through the double door entrance to the clinic and walked straight to him (well it was straight to him in terms of Hinata… which was more of an indirect route than anything else). She fidgeted, standing roughly a yard away from the impatient blond, poking her fingertips and gathering what might be called 'courage' enough to speak her mind. Naruto's eyes darted.

Hinata.

Clock.

Hinata.

Clock…

"N-Naruto?" The drubbing hands and tapping feet nearly drowned out her voice, but abruptly silenced themselves. Hinata had Naruto's 'full' attention. This caused a pink blush to cross the shy girl's face. "Naruto… I heard… I… uh…" she stumbled over her own words for a moment that seemed like hours until her thoughts were compiled to be clear and coherent. "Naruto? Is it true… that you and Sasuke…?" She trailed off, unable to complete her sentence. How she desperately wanted her mouth to say 's it true that you and Sasuke are boyfriends?' but it wouldn't. Seeing the raven haired girl struggle made Naruto's mind fill in the blanks… much to Hinata's misfortune.

"Is it true… that you and Sasuke…?"

"Had sex?... Yeah… Why?"

Hinata's face turned red as a beat, but Naruto couldn't quite understand why. He knew what Sakura had seen, and what all of Konoha mush know by now. Perhaps he was too impatient to think straight, perhaps it's that he never really understood Hinata, or perhaps Naruto's just the biggest usuratonkachi in Konoha… (my bet is on the last one).

The blond stood in an indignant huff, more angry at Sakura than anyone else. "Or did Sakura not tell you that?" His voice was saturated with furious sarcasm as he turned his back on the sputtering girl.

To Naruto's salvation and Hinata's dismay, Sasuke strode into the waiting room at that exact moment. Naruto rushed over to embrace his raven, squeezing Sasuke's tormented arms. The Uchiha clenched his teeth and hissed in the blond dobe's ear "I just got five years worth of vaccinations in those arms, would you mind releasing your death grip?"

When Naruto released Sasuke's arms, he held the raven by the shoulders at an arm's length. Sasuke smirked, "with a greeting like that, you'd think we'd been apart for five years, not three hours." Sasuke's smirk softened, smiling at his blond kitsune he leaned down to kiss Naruto's lightly pouting lips, his left hand ghosting over Naruto's jaw lane.

There was a loud thump and both boys looked over to see Hinata laying unconcous on the loby floor.

"It's a good thing she's in a hospital…"

"We've gotta stop making people faint…"

---0---0---0---0---dividing line of DOOM!!!---0---0---0---0---

Neji walked through the Hyuga complex, heading towards the dojo to spar with his uncle, and hopefully for some green tea, if Hinata had made them any. His bare feet made almost no noise as he walked down the wooden hall. His ears picked up the timid squeak of his cousin's voice and he froze just outside her door. Neji didn't need his biyakugan to recognize Kiba's and Hinata's voices.

"So what were you doing in the hospital today anyway?" came Kiba's doglike growl

"I- I was only…" She stammered.

"Seeing Naruto? That's why you fainted too isn't it? He got too close to you and you keeled over, is that right?" Kiba was trying to remain calm, not that it worked or anything.

"That's not it… Na-"

"Narutoooo" Kiba mocked.

"I only went to visit Naruto and s-"

"Oh come off it Hinata, you went to go see him because you're still head-over-heals for him, even after we've been going out for a month last week…"

"Kiba ple-"

"You gonna beg me to forgive you now?"

"Kiba, that's not why I-"

Kiba was refusing to let her get a word in edgewise "You better have a damn good excuse as to why then!" Kiba was boiling with anger by now.

"I DO! It's-"

"What could you possibly say to make me believe you didn't faint because of your precious Naruto?" he demanded, spitting out the word precious as if it tasted nasty.

"NARUTO AND SASUKE HAD SEX!!!"

There was complete and utter silence. Hinata was the only one between her, Kiba and Neji to breath.

"Wha-?" Kiba's voice questioned.

There was a long pause, long and painful, like being trampled to death by a herd of stoned turtles… Hinata took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"Naruto told me… that he and Sasuke… had sex…" she paused again "they kissed right in front of me, and that's why I fainted…"

"No WAY!" Kiba gasped disbelievingly. Neji swallowed hard, trying to keep down the content of his stomach, which threatened to erupt into his throat due to shock. He thought to himself 'if Naruto and Sasuke… oh dear god…' He clenched his stomach, the other hand hovered over his mouth and he staggered off to the dojo to inform his uncle he needed to rest and could not practice today.