A/N: Look, look I got a chapter out on time ^_^. It wouldn't seem so sad if it weren't for the fact I am GENUINELY happy about that. Anywho thank you to everyone who offered me feedback last chapter, I appreciated it SO freaking much. *Huggles everyone.* and If anyone still wants to feel free. Huggles also go to everyone who read/reviewed/fav'd/alerted. ^_^
So without further ado let's finally get to the good stuff.
As usual reviewers will be showered with bakery goodness and huggles!
Chapter Nine:
The next day just couldn't have come soon enough for Kakashi.
He had spent the remainder of the previous day undergoing any and every test the medics could think of. By the time the evening had rolled around the jounin was sore, irritable and covered in ridiculous array of gaudy band-aids. Which the simpering nurses had found amusing to stick over the numerous puncture wounds he had accumulated throughout the day.
No, tomorrow truly couldn't have come soon enough at all.
When dawn finally broke over the village the silver haired man had immediately sprung into action, adamant that he was not spending another moment in this, his own special branch of hell. Having been given the all clear the night before there wasn't anything stopping him. He'd only stayed overnight at the request of the medics and Kakashi had complied somewhat begrudgingly. But the jounin would be damned if he stayed any longer, further risking another encounter with Tsunade. He just couldn't face the woman right now; his emotions were still running rampant and he knew he would shoot his mouth off if he saw her. The exchange more than likely ending with Kakashi back in hospital and in a much worse state than he'd been.
Sighing he ran a hand through his bed mussed hair and swung his body out of the sterile and downright uncomfortable cot. He gave a stretch as his protesting muscles spasmed at the usage causing him to wince slightly, the cool breeze of the morning blowing across his bare back not helping matters. That made the first port of call clothing and Kakashi set to rummaging through the numerous drawers littered about the private room. Honestly not expecting to find anything the jounin was pleasantly surprised a pair of worn looking jeans and a thick high neck sweater in his size. With a small smile on his face he pulled on the garments making a mental note to find out who had smuggled them in.
Finally clothed Kakashi moved toward the window planning to escape through his usual route but stopped before opening the receptacle and turned instead walking out the door. Really he was saving himself a whole world of hassle in the long run. If he discharged himself properly then it meant Tsunade wouldn't have to send anyone after him to get them signed, meaning that she wouldn't be alerted to the fact that he was about to go against orders.
The jounin stopped as a loud clatter broke his concentration, face trained into his traditional bored look Kakashi looked up.
"Hatake-San." The voice was shocked.
It was the intern from Kimura's team eyes wide and mouth gaping. After a moment she realised she'd been staring and flushed a brilliant red and promptly dropped to the floor to pick up the tray she had dropped. Feeling sympathetic Kakashi bent down to help her causing the young woman to jump and drop the items.
Kakashi chuckled.
The interns flush deepened.
"Is it really so surprising to see me up and out of bed?" He asked amusement obvious in his still damaged voice.
"No, It's more a case of me being shocked at seeing you up, about and not jumping out the window for dear life."
The witty comment caught Kakashi off guard and a raspy laugh erupted from his lips. It hurt but it was a pain that Kakashi could live with a thousand lifetimes over, it was worth every moment just to feel that lightness in his chest that only true amusement could bring. The intern gave a shy smile her face still an interesting shade of crimson.
"Well I thought I'd do things a bit differently this time. It has been an odd few weeks."
The young woman said nothing but simply nodded in reply agreeing whole heartedly with the Jounin's comment. They parted ways and Kakashi hurried to the reception desk, eager to escape. The nurse on duty looked as shocked as the intern and the silver haired man was beginning to hastily regret his decision to do things properly. He hadn't had this many people staring at him like he was crazy since that Psych evaluation before he took on team seven. Pushing away the disconcerting thoughts Kakashi quickly signed the discharge paper work and walked out of the front entrance.
Smack bang in Naruto.
The blond looked up and a smile crossed his features, but Kakashi could see it was forced. Something was wrong, very wrong.
"Naruto, what's wrong?"
The jinchuuriki looked away and rubbed his head nervously "It's nothing really."
Kakashi was not convinced in the slightest and he folded his arms across his chest, Naruto saw the gesture and sighed silently cursing his inability to properly hide his emotions.
"It's Iruka-sensei. I can't find him."
A lead weight dropped into Kakashi gut and a sliver of panic wormed its way through his heart.
"I went to see him yesterday. I was gonna surprise him at the academy take him to lunch but when I got there he wasn't there. So I went to his apartment and he wasn't there either and I've been looking all over Konoha for him and I can't find him... And I'm worried because he's been acting strange recently and then I heard the gate guards talking about how he blew up at some jounin who was bad mouthing you the night you woke up, so I thought he might have been here... and... and.."
"Okay Naruto you need to calm down. I'm sure he's fine, you've probably been just missing him."
Kakashi placed a reassuring hand on the youngsters shoulder, unsure of whom he was trying to convince more himself or the blond. Even to his own ears the words sounded false and Naruto didn't seem to buy them either.
"But you don't understand! The last time he was like this was with the whole Mizuki-bastard incident and..."
The blue eyes dimmed and pain flashed through them.
"Something happened." Kakashi stated bluntly.
Naruto simply nodded fidgeting on the spot. "I don't know what, but he ended up in hospital for over a week."
The sliver of panic erupted into a full blown pulse and it thrummed through Kakashi's body. He had a pretty good idea what had happened if the marks on Iruka's arms were anything to go by and it sent a shudder down the Jounin's spine. He had to act fast but first he had to get rid of the blond in front of him.
"Naruto you need to go home and rest. You're clearly exhausted and will only hinder the search."
"But..."
"No buts Naruto you need sleep, you look as though you are about to drop."
"But..."
"I said no buts. Home. Sleep. Rest. Now. That's an order."
"Yes sir."
Naruto looked put out but didn't argue anymore and swiftly raced off toward his apartment. When Kakashi could no longer sense the other's chakra he bit his thumb and summoned Pakkun, the chakra usage making his head spin. The pug looked up eyes narrowed.
"What do ya' want boss?"
Kakashi grit his teeth fighting off nausea "I need you to find someone. You remember Iruka-sensei?"
The pug nodded his squashed face "The one you lent me to during the jailbreak right, why do you need to find him?"
"None of your business pup. Just find him."
"Alright, alright. Sheesh humans." The pug grumbled, rolling his beady eyes.
The small dog carefully sniffed the air and narrowed his eyes before bounding off. Kakashi followed obediently knowing that Pakkun would not let him down, the search was on and hopefully it would not be too late.
Iruka sat and sighed as he cast a weary gaze over the slowly waking village, seemingly entranced by the play of light and shadow. The brunette hadn't been home since the night Kakashi had awoken in the hospital and it showed in his appearance. He was still clad in the clothing he had worn to the bar, was unshaven and had dark circles under his expressive eyes, showing the man's wearied state. However Iruka's physical appearance didn't hold a candle to the tultumous whirl of emotion currently occupying the man's being, in comparison it was a mere inconsequentiality.
"How did everything get so fucked up?"
The chunnin voiced his question out loud as he ran a hand through his bedraggled locks; he had come to his quiet spot in order to find a balm for his troubled mind. To try and find that sense of normalcy, that sense of feeling that had been painfully bereft over the last few weeks leaving only numbness in its absence. If even the splendour of the village below his feet couldn't warm his despairing heart and soul, then Iruka knew that he was in real trouble.
He had passed the point of no return.
"I wish you were here Sandaime-sama."
He whispered to the stone head he was currently perched upon.
"I truly do, I could really do with some of that sage advice you seemed to always produce round about now."
A light breeze rustled through the trees in an almost mocking manner, emphasising the man's loneliness. Iruka shuddered slightly drew his arms tighter around himself in an attempt to ward off the chill.
"I really just can't understand how I managed to mess things up so badly. Actually scratch that, yes I do, I was a colossal emotional idiot."
The brunette dropped his head to his bent knees and gave let out a shuddering breath that bespoke of true agony.
"You always warned me my emotions would get me into trouble, I just wish I'd truly believed you and maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. Tsunade-sama is royally pissed at me, Naruto is worried about me; I outted myself to practically the entire village and Kakashi-san..." Here his voice broke slightly "Kakashi-san hates me."
The picked up blowing brightly coloured leaves from the branches, they swirled around the depressed form of the teacher tauntingly close before blowing over the edge. Iruka looked up and followed the multi hued foliage with a serious look.
"He must hate me; the look on his face when he saw what I had done was one of sheer revulsion. He was disgusted that someone he thought he could trust was a bloody gay and had been lusting over him. It hurt so much to see his disgust. I think I could have dealt with him not knowing and whatever this is being unrequited but for him to know and..."
Here his voice turned bitter and he let a humourless chuckle pass through his lips. He stood, unfurling his body like a cat as he stalked toward the edge of the cliff.
"They shouldn't have to be burdened with that, with me. Not Naruto, not Kakashi, not any of them. All I seem to do is make them more and more unhappy."
Iruka paused looking over the edge, staring longingly at the sheer drop under the stone faces.
"I should stop being so selfish, they would be better off without me weighing them down causing them pain. I should stop being so selfish and cowardly."
Mind made up the brunette took in a deep breath taking in the beauty around him before closing his eyes, an almost serene expression crossing his features.
"It's time I set them free of my burden."
And he stepped forward.
"IRUKA NO!"
Iruka's eyes flew open at the shouted exclamation and he felt the air rush from his lungs as he was very forcibly yanked by the back of his T. Shirt into a pair of strong arms. The chunnin felt himself begin to tremble against his will as an all too familiar voice growled in his ear.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?"
Iruka couldn't control the feeling spiralling out of control in his chest as the arms tightened around him, not painfully, but enough to let him know that he was NOT going anywhere until he had given a sufficient answer. He swallowed the lump in his throat and closed his eyes.
"It is none of your business Hatake-san."
Behind him Kakashi actually growled and the brunette tried to ignore the noise, ignore the warmth emanating from the body behind him and ignore the fact that Kakashi was there at all because it made this all so much harder.
"Iruka I'll ask you one more time. What the hell did you think you were doing?"
"Like I said Hatake-san, it is none of your business."
Kakashi whirled the man around in his arms mismatched eyes flashing bloody murder. The brunette kept his eyes shut tight unwilling to face his would be saviour, knowing it would make him break completely.
"God damn it Iruka, I would think stopping you from walking off a cliff would make it my business."
"I didn't ask you to stop me." Was the quiet, curt reply.
The jounin sighed and closed his eyes suddenly feeling incredibly tired even though he had only woken up a few hours previously. The silence between the two men stretched for what seemed to be an eternity, finally unable to take it any more Iruka spoke.
"Isn't this where you ask me why?"
"Not really."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't ask questions I already know the answer to."
The brunette gave an indignant snort "As if you have any idea about me, you barely know me Hatake-san."
"I know more about you Iruka than you think..."
The chunnin squirmed in Kakashi's grasp and Iruka felt momentarily flare with hope at the other mans words, a hope he quickly clamped down. It was impossible Kakashi couldn't know him before this they had been merely acquaintances who sometimes interacted because of a shared student. He couldn't possibly know the real him because Iruka knew he had shown Kakashi nothing but the person he was expected to be, the happy go lucky, quick tempered sensei.
"You're a liar."
The words fell from his mouth before he even realised and the brunette saw the look of hurt cross the older man's face. Iruka felt a moment of guilt but quickly squashed the feeling; he had to push Kakashi away before he lost control and did something even more stupid like kiss the man again.
"True, but I never lie about things that are important to me."
Again the wild hope sprang up in Iruka's chest and this time it took a little longer to suppress, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the emotions fluttering through him. Could he believe what Kakashi was saying? It had to be a ruse; the man would not have any interest in him other than to stop him from walking off the cliff. The thought hurt and the chunnin focused on it allowing the numbness it brought to control himself.
"Well then you still must be lying then." Iruka answered coldly, not daring to meet the silver haired mans gaze.
Kakashi sighed deeply feeling despair curl in his stomach. Just what did he have to do to prove to the younger man that he was sincere? He had heard the entire one sided conversation, his anger, worry and protective instinct increasing with every self-depreciating word that was spilt from Iruka's lips. The jounin truly hadn't believed that the man would step off the edge, thinking that even though he spoke the words Iruka's heart could not truly feel that way. Kakashi had been sorely mistaken and it was with a jolt of fear, adrenaline and something he couldn't quite put a name to that he had dove after the teacher determined to stop him. Even now as he held the man tightly the strange emotions that had plagued him as he watched Iruka step forward refused to die down. He wanted to hold the brunette tight to his chest and never let go.
"Why must you always think so little of yourself? What can I possibly say to make you believe me?"
"There isn't anything you can say to make me believe you. I know this is just some twisted form of compassion." Iruka mumbled eyes shining in the light of the morning sun.
"Iruka..." Kakashi said softly, leaning in.
Their lips were almost touching when Iruka abruptly pushed the other man away.
"Please don't do this Hatake-san... it... it isn't fair."
The silver haired man just looked Iruka straight in the eye his gaze never wavering a look of absolute seriousness and sincerity etched on what could be seen of his face.
"I'm sorry Iruka but not for what I almost did. I'm sorry for not noticing you sooner, I'm sorry for not seeing the pain you were going through. I'm sorry for not understanding and appreciating just what you do for the people around you, I'm sorry I let people like Tsunade-sama treat you like shit not once but twice for just showing that you cared for someone and I'm so, fucking, sorry that people would take your feelings for granted because they considered them different."
Brown eyes widened at the beautiful words spilling from the copy-nins mouth the teacher felt the numbness inside him begin to crack and dissipate. He could detect no lie in the Jounin's voice and something inside Iruka finally snapped and he slumped to his knees tearless sobs wracking his body. Kakashi was at his side in an instant an arm wrapped around the brunette's shoulders in a comforting gesture.
"How... I don't understand, how did you know all that... Tsunade-sama she told you didn't she."
Iruka still refused to look the silver haired man in the eye, but Kakashi could sense the anger starting to unfurl in the teacher. It appeared that the sensei was none too happy about the Hokage supposedly having exposed the details of their encounters to the last person Iruka wanted to know. The jounin was still a little edgy about letting the man know just how he obtained his new found knowledge because he quite rightly suspected that Iruka would not be impressed knowing that he had been spied on. This was a tricky situation that was going to take some tact careful planning and most importantly keeping Iruka away from the Hokage. However that plan was blown out the water when two ANBU leapt down from the trees behind them landing gracefully on the stony ground
"Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka, Lady Hokage requires your presence immediately."
There was almost a hint of sympathy in the monotone voice behind the ferret mask but Kakashi knew it was probably just his imagination. Cursing his bad luck he rose to his feet and nodded, Iruka followed suit the unstable air around him intensifying.
This was not going to be pretty.
Shit.
~End chapter nine~
A/N: Ta-dah! I finished the chapter so finally the boys have met up and at least started their little talk ^_^. I'm sorry I just had to drag it out, I still have a few more idea's running around my head and I want to tie up all the loose ends.
I know I'm not normally a promoter of people (Other than myself LOL) but I feel that these two authors deserve some recognition for being awesome. They are Unjaundiced and TsunadeJr71. I would like to also point out that they have not asked me to do this I have done it off my own back because I think they are far superior to me in terms of authoring skill.
So give them a look and tell them Smaell sent ya!
