A week had passed since Sybils accident. Tom had not seen Sybil since that night, well, not in person. The story had been used by the papers for all it was worth and it was finally fading into nothing. The rumours that had spread about an attempted kidnap or a staged stunt for publicity however were due to remain a little longer. The day after the crash her father had demanded Toms account of the entire night. He had not lied about anything, he had given his story with no pretence and found as he explained that her father seemed to come around to the idea that Tom cared for his daughters safety and had ensured her protection as far as he could. Well, Tom assumed this was the case as he was still the chauffeur, his job was intact. It was as though nothing had changed. But this was not so, something had changed...
It had only taken two months but somehow Tom now found his heart at the mercy of Miss Sybil Crawley. The fear he had felt for her that night was beyond friendship and certainly beyond professional. He supposed he should have felt it coming, he had enjoyed her company since meeting her and as for physical attraction that had hit him instantly. But he had pushed the feeling away, convincing himself that he was a man for gods sake, of course he was going to lust after a beautiful woman. But that was just it, he hadn't lusted after her. Of course scenarios may have crossed his mind once or twice, but when he saw her or spoke with her he cared only for what she was saying and listened with too much interest to think of anything else. He supposed he found himself looking in the mirror more before taking her anywhere and he never forgot to wear his aftershave. But it was only after the crash that he had compiled all these things together. The moment he had seen her lying unconscious next to him he had realised then that he felt feelings for her stronger than he had ever felt for any other woman in his life. And ever since it had hit him he had thought of nothing else. He thought of how he reacted to his realisation and certain stages stood out to him, though his mind was currently a rainbow of warped and over thought feeling.
His first reaction had been shock. Shock that he had arrived at Downton a man indifferent to the star-studded world he was entering and now he was lost in it, in her. He was shocked that a previously multi-woman kind of man such as himself had toppled over the fine line and had allowed emotion to enter his life.
His second reaction was wonder. He wondered how she felt, how she saw him, if she really saw him as someone at all. Their conversations had always been easy, giving and taking, but then again her life was dedicated to social interaction, was he just like everyone else, like every other man? He even allowed himself to wonder that, if she did feel something for him, was it a feeling strong enough to match his?
His third reaction, the worst reaction, was a sense of uncertainty. Did he really feel so strongly for her? They had never been romantically involved in any sense yet here he was fawning over her. If she did care for him, would she choose him over the promise of a wealthy, successful partner? He couldn't imagine dealing with the paparazzi that would follow their every move. Would her family approve? Her father clearly cared for her happiness, but how far would that extend?
Trying to ignore the pounding in his head caused by thinking so much at once, an unbidden image of Sybil formed in his mind. He could picture her beautiful blue eyes shining and her face split into her stunning smile. His mind drew her long, thick, dark hair flowing all the way down her back. The rest of the image created itself, god did she have a good body...
"Jesus Christ." He muttered to himself, literally shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of thought.
"You alright Tom?" Came a womans voice.
"Yeh, sorry, just thinki- just ahh, yeh sorry I'm fine." He replied, taking a seat at the staff table.
The woman laughed "That didn't sound fine at all!"
He even allowed himself a small laugh at this comment. "Alright, I'm not fine. You know when you have so much on your mind you don't have room to think of anything else? Thats my situation right now."
"Actually, I'm feeling exactly the same."
Tom looked up from his paper and looked across the table at the woman Gwen, the Crawleys maid at Downton. She had her head down, almost in a submissive sort of way, as though she had admitted something she shouldn't.
Laying down his paper, Tom spoke. "Well in that case I'm gonna be really selfish. If you tell me why you're feeling down it might take my mind off of why I'm feeling so down."
Peering up and tidying her messy ginger bun Gwen uncertainly began to explain. "Well, I, I don't come from a good family life. Never had much money and my mum and dad well, lets just say I had to be parent to my younger siblings. So when I got this job I was so pleased, I wanted to buy a house for me and my brothers. Obviously that was naive. But recently I realised I have to aim for more don't I? Because I can't just sit around and hope for things to get better! Anyway when I was cleaning Miss Sybils room the other week a page of job listings fell out of my pocket. I was worried when she saw, but she just questioned if I was leaving and I explained. And get this, she said it was great I wanted to further myself and even promised to give me some contacts. But thats why I have so much on my mind, I have an interview this afternoon and I'm nervous as hell!"
"And Syb- Miss Sybil set up this interview for you?" Enquired Tom. He could feel a smile creeping onto his face at the thought of her doing so.
Gwen assumed he was in disbelief "Oh Tom you don't understand. Miss Sybil is actually so nice! Like I know they print all the gossip in the papers and sometimes her sisters can seem really snobby but she is a lot nicer than what people think. She even offered to lend me a Valentino suit for when I go, can you believe that? Anyway, I know you're not over keen on the whole celebrity life style of her family, but you should really give Sybil a chance!"
Feeling an unexplained flutter in his stomach, Tom returned to his paper. "Maybe I will."
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