Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: Special chap up! (choppy writing)


Rain

Uzumaki Naruto:

-0- What was and What is.

Rain...it's a beautiful sight, right?

Not to me, by far.

It looks too grotesque to admire, the patter of each heavy rain drop is another memory getting clearer and clearer.

I've always loved Sasuke, as a friend, as a brother. I've always wanted him to stay with us. I've always wanted to bring him back without others pushing me to do so.

You would think that from the first day Sasuke vanishes, I would grin like a stupid idiot and say, laughing: "Ah, the asshole's finally gone! Now, Sakura's all mine. Heh heh."

I snort in dismay at the thought because that would never happen.

My life can't be a comedy, it's angst all over- rotting from head to toe.

Wind is blowing towards me, freezing my skin. Goosebumps jump out automatically but I don't grab my arms and wound them around me like anyone would normally do under this chilly weather.

But then again, since when have I been normal?

Every drop of liquid on my hair is like it's washing my head clean.

There are dripping fluid marring through my eyes, to my cheeks- looking like tears for one second. But I'm not crying. I stay frozen from inside but still, walk outside- to where? I'm not sure...

My brain isn't the same anymore. It's not ready to give me permission for crying or doing anything actually.

I stop advancing to nowhere and look at the big tree from the corner of my eyes. Its leaves are dark in the rainy weather, rustling swiftly with the breezy air.

I walk to it and keep shelter from the rain, hands in my pocket and stare ahead.

I shudder for a minute, hands coming up to rub at the fabric of my arm before leaning back to the bark of the tree.

With mind moving slightly, I think about my last memory...

The full moon was up that night, Sasuke and I were hanging out at his house. He was making insults about my room as we drank on his couch.

I had noticed that when I'm drunk, I easily admit things: like how Sasuke's skin seemed to glow in the beaming light of his room, like how his full pink lips lifted up a little to smile and parted to say something, and like how his cheeks seemed to flush with every sip he took of his drink.

That's what happened that night and I wouldn't have done anything about it just like any other drunken day because it was just a mental admittance. There were urges like before, to hold him, touch his cheeks but I never followed them through, wondering why I even wanted to do that?

But that night was different; there was a blackout.

I remember clearly- the way I looked up from staring at Sasuke and looked around the dark room, no lights, and nothing I could see.

I remember Sasuke standing up from the couch and going somewhere, saying something about the lights going out and that, he should search for some candles. I had nodded for him and he had looked back at me, and I perfectly remember how half of his skin was hidden in the shadows and a little glint of moonlight shone the other part of his face. Then, he stepped completely in the moon's light, and I was in a daze.

Then, I was standing up without any other thought and advancing towards him. He seemed completely innocent when I reached him, an inch apart from him. He was looking into my eyes and I grabbed his shoulders. Just one touch...I remember clearly...It was just a brush of touch and Sasuke had his eyes widening as if he was being attacked, except it wasn't that time of reaction either. His eyes didn't show fear or hostility like in missions when he's caught off-guard by some fugitive. No, it was completely different. He had this surprised look in his eyes and with a trip of his own feet, he was falling down. I grabbed at his arm but somehow, I wasn't the best support at that moment either because we both tumbled down into a limb of mess.

And that's when it happened. The moon had then reflected every feature of his face; eyes, nose, cheeks and lips. I had admired every single feature about him and couldn't help but want to do something. It was at the back of my brain, I was itching to do something- something forbidden.

And I ended up doing it.

Then I blacked out.

I'm glad that I blacked out before anything else could happen because god help me, I enjoyed the kiss, wanted to keep doing it, keep feeling those lips on mine, then I wanted to kiss his soft and smooth forehead, touch his hairs, caress his cheeks, and just get lost in the depth of his eyes.

And now I remember.

These emotions, this lust- this feeling. It's different, strange and new. Unfamiliar yet not unwanted.

I always understood that there were some things I couldn't live without and one of them was Sasuke.

But I never realized to how much extent I would need him.

I can't live without him is just a petty understatement compared to what I feel for him.

I put a hand over my face, my lips split into a heart-broken grimace as I try to hold my feelings back but I can't.

All I want to do is go and get that asshole back.

Sakura was right, I shouldn't have remembered this whole thing so early.

Not when Sasuke's not here.

I can't stand it.

Why did I ever let him go?

Will he even come back now?

And if does, when will he?

Because I can't help but feel this emptiness surge through me and it's biting me from the inside. I can't live with this feeling, I want to rid it away. I want to feel...something. So I don't think about the heat in my throat, the depressing flame stuck there without ever coming off. I wish I could pull it off. I wish...so many things.

I wish Sasuke were here. Right here, in front of me. And I would look at him and stare and he would stare back with his blank, unfeeling eyes. Black eyelashes fluttering to keep the rain from falling on them, eyes confused or surprised like that night. And that tilt of head, that pale, beautiful neck fully in access for bare eyes.

I want Sasuke. I need him...so much.

I look down then and notice the dot, dot, dot splattering over the puddles of water. I see dripping water, one-by-one, dropping to the ground and make this splash, slosh before they disappear into the puddle of water. Then more drops of water drip down and does the same thing.

The rain is very distracting too. I could probably have been more achingly calm if it weren't raining.

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain. It's soothing, it's like it cleans all the dirt from this earth. A beauty from nature, a way to represent every meloncholy expression.

But today, as rain scatter around me in a heavy shower, I remember Sasuke.

It's because there are many memories I had with him under this very weather. It seems all of which I think about is about him and the rain doesn't help calm me down.

I hit the back of my head against the wood of the tree I'm leaning over and only feel a numb feeling before I charge again.

With sudden thuds from my head banging against the bark of the tree, and thunder cracking through the dark sky- it seems I'm being distracted but that doesn't last for long because the pain becomes bearable again and I'm looking up at the sky in wonder, remembering the green sky and half-moon that time I was training so I could bring Sasuke back.

Five years- it's been five years. You know, that may sound like a lot of time has passed and maybe, it has but to me, time passed by fast and I can still remember my feelings five years prior.

Sasuke hasn't changed either. He still likes to run away, fly like a bird to somewhere far away. Sasuke likes to escape, he doesn't like being caged. He doesn't like being owned, he doesn't like listening to others or being ruled over. He likes when he's incharge, when he's ruling his life but... when his plan goes to doom, he runs. That's his only way of living.

I've learned long since.

This mission that he's doing isn't fuck's sake for his pride or for a last good memory. Sasuke doesn't care about that. He may not like being humiliated in such an embarrassing way but he would take it like a man.

No, this whole thing started because Sasuke fucking wanted to feel alive for the last time. He wanted to fly and run as much as he could because he knows there will be no flying tommorrow. Tommorrow, he'll be landing and getting into his cage.

He knows and he wants just one chance to prove to himself that life will be just fine and he's had lived his life to the fullest so there will be no regret.

The broody bastard, always thinking about himself.

What about me? I know the asshole ignored with every fibre of his being that I had kissed him. I know he remembers it and that, he wanted me to forget it because he didn't want to deal with the whole thing.

But I'm going to show him what it's like to be this confused and overwhelmed by every piece of memory that I didn't know about.

I had to go through feelings that were just heart-aching for me. I couldn't have taken it.

And I still can't.

I may be healing but I need...Sasuke.

I need him to come back as soon as he can. I want him right here. Right in front of me so I could grab him and never let go.

I need him to make me feel alive again.

I need...my asshol-ish best friend, rival, not-so much a brother but something close to one.

I want him. Here.

Right here.

-0-

In my arms.


A/N: Next is: SASUKE's POV. Yeah! *sarcastic smile* I just loving doing Sasuke's POV. You know what? I'm not doing it actually, I don't know...I'll decide if I want to do his part or not cause' Naruto's basically explained the whole thing.

Heh, heh, heh.

Right.

Anyway, BESH BYE FOR NOW!X