"she's dead, I'm so sorry" the nurse said to nick

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

"She's dead, I'm so sorry" the nurse said to nick.
"She can't be, stop lying" a broken nick said tears flowing freely.
"Her heart couldn't take it, she didn't take her medication" the nurse informed him.
"Medication what medication" He asked.
"For her heart problem, she told you right?"
And nick broke down wondering why she couldn't tell him, why she couldn't trust him enough to tell him what was wrong and why he wasn't there when it happened.
He walked out of the hospital. Drove to his house. Went inside. Took out a knife and put it up to his neck and in one swift movement-

Everything that I do, reminds me of you

"ARGHHHH" I screamed. I looked around I was in my room, on my bed wrapped in the blankets, sweating like mad.
It was just a dream, that same old horrible dream that just kept coming back. I've been getting it for two weeks now. I knew I had to tell him, one more week, just one week. The last two
I'd been hanging around with Jake a lot, and it was keeping my mind off how much I missed nick.

The clothes you left, they lie on the floor, they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

I looked at the clock. 11:43am.

I got up, showered, dried and dressed and took my tablet.
I came back down and ate and sat down for more telly.
How eventful? I think not. Not much to do anymore without nick.
It was horrible. Yeah I had Jake to keep my mind off things but when he wasn't here it all came flooding back, and I tend to get a little emotional. I can't help it, I just miss him. Lots.
I grabbed my phone and dialled nick. Answer machine.
I left a message;

When your gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you

Hey,
how are you doing?
Thought I'd ring you, I miss you lots just to more days till New York.
It's kind of weird, sometimes I think you're here and then I realize your not
. I said my voice starting to break up.
I better go now.
I love you and miss you loads.

Bye I whispered shakily.

When your gone, the face I came to know is missing too

I placed down the phone before picking it up again, a text from Jake.

I've got popcorn and movies.
I'm coming round.
x

We were made for each other

By the way guys, Jake is gay.
I totally freaked out at him because I thought he was hitting on me, and he was like no i'm gay.
Pretty embarrassing.
But now I have the gay best friend I've always wanted. No he's great but he's no nick.

Knock knock.

Come in!! I yelled and in he came and we got comfy on the sofa.

3 movies a lot of blubbering and popcorn later, and I'd fell asleep on Jake.
I was cried out. As for Jake I think he was pretty knocked out.

Out here forever, I know we were

JESS, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? . I woke up my vision blurry, but not enough to realize who had just walked in on our little cry fest.

I squinted a few times, blinked mentally slapped myself awake to find him stood there his eyes full of hurt and anger. I stood there in total confusion wondering when I was going to wake up.

Nick? I coughed.
Jess, what is this? Who the hells he? He yelled.
It's not what you think nick, I promise, we were watching movies.
It's not what I think? Then what the hell is this, is this some kind of joke because I am not laughing, you were going on with yourself about how much you missed me and loved me but I guess they were all lies! He yelled and stormed outside.
Nick, no please nick come back, I cried, them last words got me, I wasn't lying, I never was and I'm not.

I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me

I fell onto the floor and my breathing rate quickened. I started to panic, coughs escaping my throat and the room started spinning.
Nick! I shouted hoping he'd come back, knowing he wouldn't.

"Jess? What was all that shouting, jess! Are you okay? Jess speak to me?" I heard Jake say running towards me.

Nick! I yelled, my chest tightened and breathing got harder, I started to kick trying to get to my tablets, but my body wouldn't allow me too.
Jake must have understood what I was attempting to do and grabbed the tub from the table and got me some water, he put the pill in the water and placed it up to my mouth.
I took sips, most of the water going down my face.
My breaths got slower and I tried to stand up again this time succeeding with the help of Jake and the sofa. I sat down in silence, tears falling from my eyes, still shaking. Jake pulled me into a friendly comforting hug and I told him everything, it took a while but I did.
And it dawned on me,
we were over.
No more Nick + Jess.
Just. Jess. This wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare.

And when you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day.

And make it okay.
I miss you.