AN: Yay I updated :D Chapter 9 already, I think Kotoko and Naoki should reunite soon.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!


Sorry, but I didn't write yesterday. I had been busy with college and club activities, and just when I wanted to write, late in the evening, I couldn't. Why not? I'll tell you! Kotoko was having trouble with tennis yesterday, and now she's got a big racket mark on her face, and a plaster aid on her nose.

It looks very funny, and seriously, I laughed so much. I did open my diary, but just when I lowered the pen, I had to laugh again. And that everytime. And well I can't laugh and write at the same time, it'll look like this~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today there hasn't happened a lot. It was almost a normal day. Tonight, Kotoko asked me to go to the movies with her. I rejected her of course, that's just obvious isn't it? Of course I wouldn't go. I made her angry again. Don't feel like writing any more.

Naoki


Today was pretty fascinating. I went on a sort of date with Kotoko. Yes I'm serious, and I once again opened my heart a little to her. Today at college, Matsumoto asked me to go to the movies with her, the same movie as Kotoko wanted to see… And I said yes. Why? I don't know. Maybe to be free from everything, just be relaxed, and watch a movie. I'm sure if it was with Kotoko I would be bothered with her watching me all the time, with a blush on her face, and hesitating to touch my hand and stuff. Not that Matsumoto didn't. I put my hand away just in time. But going to the movies with Kotoko just isn't a good idea.

And of course I noticed from the very beginning Kotoko was near. Was she seriously following us? But she wasn't alone, Sudou was with her. First I wondered why, and I've seriously felt a tiny feeling of jealousy, I don't know why though. But I discovered soon that Sudou seems to have a crush on Matsumoto. Actually it gave me a bit of a bad feeling, to have turned down her invitation, and then let her find out that I was going with someone else.

After the movie we went to drink something, and Matsumoto thinks we would be a great couple together. I don't agree with her, but I didn't say that. And I actually have no idea why I described my 'ideal girl' while it actually wasn't all true what I said, and while I knew Kotoko was listening. I haven't seen her reaction, and I don't know if it made her sad, or angry. But it's like everything inside of me is working against her. Like I don't want her to get any closer to me. How do they call that. Fear of commitment…

It's so strange. I'm so smart, I can remember things by seeing or reading them once. But I don't understand feelings, emotions and love. When we were younger, Yuuki called me a robot in a human body when we were having a fight. Even though I grew up, I never forgot that insult. But maybe he was right...

But the day isn't over yet. When we walked back, we suddenly heard some noise behind us. It seemed lik Kotoko got herself into trouble again, and I automatically went to help her. In my own way of helping though. But I did help her out. After that I left Sudou and Matsumoto with the man whom they were having trouble with, and I took Kotoko with me. She acted as energetic as she usually does, but I could notice that something was bothering her, and I guess it was because of what she heard me say in the café. It made me feel sorry. So I left Sudou with his crush Matsumoto alone, and took Kotoko with me. And it was (of course) indeed bothering her, that I was with Matsumoto. And she really thought I liked Matsumoto. Was that my intention?

For a moment I thought that's what I wanted her to think, but of course feelings and confusion took over again, so I asked her to go somewhere together. And well, I actually had no idea where to go to. And I guess my devilish side still was present, so well, I took her on a boat trip, about which was this well-known story that any couple who rides on the boats there, will be jinxed and break up. But actually I only had myself with it, because when I told her, she stood up IN the boat, and we fell.

And then, we were all alone, just the two of us, waiting for our clothes to dry. And again, I talked to her. About my feelings and stuff. I told her she was my trial which I have to face. I have never had any struggles or trouble in my entire life before, and ever since Kotoko's been in my life, my life is filled with it. I think it's better to have a life like this. Of course I didn't tell her how she made me feel, but I did tell her it isn't so bad living together with her.

The funny thing was, that Kotoko of course isn't very smart... And she didn't get all the things I said. So she suddenly jumped to the conclusion that I was PROPOSING. It was very stupid, but thinking back I can't help but laugh. It's funny. And… she confessed to me again. And she hugged me. I wonder if I will ever hug her back.

I'll give myself away if I'll ever do that! Of course making fun of her is still a habit of mine, but I feel the sphere is more positive when we're together. Despite my confusion and thoughts. Ah well, I'll see what the future will bring me. I'll go sleep now.

Naoki


Kotoko could remember that moment very well. The moment Naoki suddenly seemed kinder. So these things were on his mind back then. She turned the page to read on.

This is unbelievable. Kotoko and her father left our house. They just moved out! I wonder, if it's better like this. This'll give me the chance to turn my thoughts back to normal, no confusion, or any trouble anymore. My life will just turn back to normal. Maybe it's better like this.

Naoki


I take that back. That Kotoko left our house, didn't solve anything at all. In fact, things have gotten worse. At college, Kotoko asked me if it wasn't lonely without her. It is, but of course I won't admit. Everything is so quiet, and empty without her. It does feel like something is missing. But I still don't know if I really want this 'missing' part to return.

It's obvious that Kotoko is very sad. I have this uneasy feeling too. Everytime I see her this odd feeling returns. I still don't understand a lot about feelings and love, but I think I do understand that I'm really starting to miss her presence. Matsumoto is clinging onto me all the time. Everywhere I go, she follows, and she even watches me when I'm reading. Still I don't care at all. I just let her. I still don't feel anything when I'm near her.

I'm going down for dinner… Which won't be the same either without Kotoko and her father.

Naoki


The fact that she left did bother him after all! Kotoko still always thought he didn't care. But he did. She had even forgotten that she and her father left the Irie family for a while. It had all been so long ago. She gazed at the clock, and quickly turned over the page.