Deep Running

Chapter Nine

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They belong to me in my dreams only.

Author Notes: The evening gets going and the steaks grilling on the grill aren't the only things heating up. One date down and nine to go.

Liv woke up with a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and the male scent of Elliot Stabler filling her senses. Was she dreaming? She marveled at the fact that they were doing something so domestic as to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon. She looked up to find a pair of blue eyes smiling down at her.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. I like watching you sleep."

"Why?"

"I used to sit and watch you sometimes in the cribs before I woke you up. The worries of the world sort of fall away and you look content. "

"I think I'm content because I'm sleeping with you."

"Reeeeally."

"The only bad part is I feel like I wasted time sleeping that I could have been spending with you talking."

"I liked sleeping with you LIv. There were so many times over the years when I wanted to climb onto the cot you were sleeping on in the crib and wrap my arms around you. There were times when I knew you were crying because you'd sleep with your back to me."

"You knew?"

"I always knew Liv. I knew when you were tired or angry or frustrated. I could read every emotion even though you tried to hide them from me. Why didn't you open up and talk to me?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah. I do."

"It was what you said that day in the hall during the Gitano case about always having look over your shoulder and see I was okay. You needed to know I could do my job without you always coming to the rescue. After that I didn't think I could ever let you see me weak again. I was afraid if I did…"

"Liv?"

Her voice broke on the next words

"…if I did, you'd ask for another partner. I didn't want to lose you."

"Oh, Liv, I'm sorry. I was just so scared that day. I came face to face with my deepest feelings for you that day and I thought I was going to lose you. That's the day I realized I was in love with you."

"Then why…?"

"Did I push you away? I was scared. What would a beautiful young woman like you want with a divorced SOB, father of four like me? I hadn't been separated that long and it's not like I'd ever dated before."

"Are you kidding? You are the only man who has mattered in my life for so long. You're the only one I wanted to be with. You're it for me El."

Elliot's lips came crashing down on hers as he expressed what he couldn't find the words to say. She was everything to him too and he couldn't believe he almost lost her forever. When they both needed to catch their breath he pulled back and looked into her brown eyes.

Liv's eyes swam with tears at the emotion she saw in his.

"You're it for me too Liv. Even though I've made a life here and it's a good one, it was missing the one person that I really needed. I need you Liv. I need you like air."

The smiles that they gave each other lit up the room and their lips met again.

"I could stay right here in my bed with you for another week."

"I could almost go for that."

"But…"

"I do have one request though."

"And that is…"

"Feed me."

Elliot grinned at her and rolled over on top of her. He pressed himself to her for the briefest moment and Liv gasped before he rolled off her and out of the bed.

"Oh, that was just mean."

A pillow sailed past Elliot's head as he reached to the door.

"Just giving you a preview of things to come."

And then he was out the door with Liv in hot pursuit of him. They clambered down the stairs and Elliot turned just as she reached the bottom and caught her in his arms. Their eyes were fixed on each other as they laughed.

"I never thought touching you would be so easy. All those years…"

"We can make up for it now El."

"Yes, yes we can. Olivia Benson will you agree to nine more dates in the nine more weeks of training you have?"

"Why yes, I think I would love to go out with you again and again and again and…well you get my drift."

Elliot slipped his arms around her waist and lifted her down off the last step, planting a soft kiss on her lips and setting her down to brush her hair back from her face. His eyes softened as he took in her breathless appearance. He wanted to make her breathless for the rest of her life. He just had to make sure she didn't run when he told her how he felt. He wanted her to stay.

Dinner was fun. Elliot marinated a couple of rib eyes and then showed Liv how to cut up potatoes and put them in foil. They dropped them on the grill while the steaks cooked and had roasted potatoes and salad with them.

Olivia leaned back in her chair and warmed her face in the evening sun. The view here was so peaceful. It made the city and the things they had to deal with every day seem so far away. She could feel parts of her healing just being in such a beautiful place.

She captivated Elliot as she stretched out like a cat and sunbathed in her chair. He had never seen her so relaxed and it made him really, really happy.

"So tell me more about Amaro. It sounds like you trust him a lot. I have to say Liv I'm jealous that you're so close. You seem comfortable touching each other, teasing each other and talking with each other."

"What seems so strange to you? You and I were like that in the early days of our partnership before everything got so complicated. The difference with our partnership is that Nick is connected to his emotions. He doesn't hide them. They're right there out front. I don't have to play guessing games with him. He's not this brooding time bomb that can go off at any moment."

"That's how you saw me?"

"Are you kidding? The last six years we were together you were wound up like a top most of the time. There was so much anger there. I didn't know what to do some times. When you weren't mad, you were brooding. It was hell when we caught a difficult case."

Elliot sighed and scrubbed his hand down his face. He knew he had been hard on her. He had never looked at it through her eyes. He was a bastard.

"I'm a selfish prick Liv. I just never saw it through your eyes. How could I have been so stupid?"

"You had your own private war going on at home El. That had to be hard."

"It's no excuse, but I did care about you Liv. I cared a lot. That day after the boy…I went to see George. I wanted to blame you because I cared too much. He helped me to see that it wasn't your fault and that I made the decision because of how I felt about you. You never made me do anything, but I wanted to blame you, just like I wanted to blame Kathy and my mother and my father and having to get married and so many other people and things in my life. Now, I'm taking that back. I stand by my decisions and nobody makes me do anything anymore. I hope you can see that when you're with me."

"I do Elliot. I see a very different guy from the one I knew, but you're still the same too. You care so much about everyone and you try so hard to make everybody else happy that you never found any for yourself. I think you have now. You move differently and talk differently. There's no walls, no guards up. It's nice."

"Nice huh?"

Elliot got out of his chair and sauntered over to her. He pulled her out of her chair into his arms and held her against his body.

"Yeah. Nice. I like the guy I found on the other side of that wall."

"You feel so good in my arms Liv. This time with us is like a gift. I never thought in a million years we'd be standing on a deck in the suburbs wrapped up in each other's arms. I hate we have to end this, but we both have to be back at the base by eight o'clock."

"Then we better get these dishes done and get on the road. My roommate will be wondering about me."

An hour later they were walking down the hall to Liv's room. Elliot had his arm around her shoulders and Olivia had hers around his waist. As they rounded a corner, one of Elliot's superiors stopped them.

"Elliot, who's the young lady you're so wrapped up in?"

"Agent Bob Nichols, this is Detective Olivia Benson, my ex-partner and the most important person in my life."

"Wow, this is the Olivia you talk so much about? It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you. It's really nice to be here. I'm enjoying the training and Elliot is a wonderful added bonus."

"So, you weren't expecting to see each other?"

"Not exactly, but it's been great catching up."

The man's eyebrows went up and he smiled at them. They had love written all over their faces.

"Well, that's great to hear. I'll look forward to seeing you more as the weeks go along. Better get her to her room Stabler. Week Two takes things up a notch. Take care now."

They reached Liv's door a few minutes later.

"What did he mean El?"

"I can't tell you. It's a secret and well if I did, I'd have to kill ya. Let's just say, you'll need your rest."

He teased.

When they reached her room Elliot backed her up against the door and slipped his arms around her waist. He kissed her deeply and LIv's head fell back against the door. They giggled as she rubbed her head and they could hear Nick on the other side.

"I can hear you out there. Kiss her goodnight Stabler and go to bed."

"Night Amaro."

With that, Elliot took Liv into his arms one more time and kissed her softly.

"Night Liv. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too El."

The voice on the other side of the door made them both giggle again.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'll miss you too Stabler."

Liv opened the door and they gave each other one last kiss before she shut it behind her and grinned at Nick.

"You really know how to kill a moment. You know that?"

He grinned from ear to ear.

"Yep. I do."