I wasn't sure how long I had managed to sleep before I woke up to mumbling. I shifted my head, confused at what I was hearing, my brain was foggy with sleep and I couldn't quite focus enough to hear it. I was leaning against something warm and firm.. huh? The mumbling grew louder, I couldn't understand what was being said.. what was going on?

I slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with my free hand. Somehow in the last few hours I had managed to slump against James' shoulder, my back was stiff and my neck ached. I glanced around, it was still very dark, but my eyes had adjusted somewhat.

I turned to look at James, he was asleep, his head slightly tilted to the side, his hair was in his face, he was mumbling in his sleep. Was that... Russian?

His muttering got louder, his words coming out faster, his hands twitched at his sides. He cringed and bared his teeth.. Oh god, was he.. was he having a nightmare?

He started yelling.

It climbed in volume..

He was screaming.

I jumped at the agonizing sound, my heart plummeted into my stomach. His face was tortured, like he was in unimaginable amounts of pain. I had never seen that sort of look on his face, not even when he got tazed twice in a row by Hydra men.. This was something entirely different, and he was only dreaming.

He wasn't calming down, his arms were locked and tensed at his sides, his hands clenched into tight fists. He dug his boot heels into the carpet and locked his legs. He needed to calm down, he was going to draw the attention of the whole neighborhood with his yelling! Well, if he hadn't already... I had to do something!

Gods this was probably a terrible idea..

"James?" I questioned quietly, trying to make him stir.

He yelled in agony again, his head thrashing side to side. My heart accelerated in my chest, the sound echoed painfully off the walls. Oh god, oh god!

I hesitantly reached towards him, my free hand hovering lightly over his shoulder as I hesitated.

"James!" I tried again, this time louder. I finally let my hand fall onto his overly-tense shoulder, grasping onto it firmly.

His eyes snapped open.

Before I could move, hell, before I could even take another breath his metal hand snapped over quicker than I could follow and wrapped around my throat. The world twisted as he quite literally pounced on top of me, sending me crashing into the floor with him on top, straddling my legs.

I grunted as his other hand, the one still connected to mine grasped onto my wrist and secured it next to my head, his metal hand squeezed harshly and I gasped for breath. His eyes were wild, defensive, panicked.

I reached up and pulled weakly at his metal wrist, the action reminding me of our first encounter with each other. I moaned weakly as spots danced in my vision.

I couldn't.. breathe.. He was going to...

His eyes widened as he stared down at me, clarity returning to those sapphire depths. His grip left my neck abruptly as he stared at me, I gasped for breath, my lungs burned. His eyes looking haunted, his expression tortured and pained as he stared into my eyes. That indifferent mask of his was nowhere to be found.

I had never seen him look so... vulnerable. My heart tugged painfully in my chest at the look of pure anguish on his face.

His other hand that still gripped onto my wrist was shaking, he swallowed hard. Slowly and carefully he unclenched his hand from my wrist and pulled himself off me to crouch on his toes. I shifted to move my legs out from underneath him since he couldn't actually go very far from me with our wrists still tied together.

His eyes never left me. They just kept searching my face and then dropping down to look at my neck. This action repeated several times. That distressed expression was painted so clearly on his face, his breathing was labored, his chest rising and falling rapidly. For once, he was the one that looked ready to bolt.

My stomach twisted and in that moment I understood.. This man.. this dangerous, aggressive, over-protective man hadn't just been trained to be the perfect weapon.. He had been tortured, tortured by Hydra.

He must have been dreaming about it, about something they had done to him.

I shuffled closer to him. He didn't move, he just watched me close the gap between us, his eyebrows furrowed and his expression somber. I didn't like to see him this way..

Despite the fact that he had attacked me, I knew he hadn't meant to this time, he proved that as soon as he had become fully lucid.

I reached over and touched his shoulder again, the same action that had gotten us into this precarious situation. He tensed again, and took a deep, steadying breath through his nose.

"It's okay." I breathed. "You're okay..." I repeated.

I shifted closer to him, moving to sit on my knees between his legs. He said nothing as I invaded his personal space, I could feel his breath fan against the top of my head as I moved to wrap my non-tied arm around his back the best I could. I pressed the side of my face against his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat, it was fast and his whole body was tense and hesitant as I hugged him.

How long had it been since he had experienced such basic human contact like this?

I wasn't sure if I should pull away or continue.. I had no idea if I was making him feel better or worse. I had no idea how to deal with him in this state. This was entirely new. The manhandling super-soldier I could at least sass and argue with.. even though it was normally a very one-sided argument. This, right here, was entirely new territory for me.

Just as I was about to pull away, his metal arm coiled gently around me, bringing me further against his chest. Over the next few minutes, his grip on me got tighter and tighter, caging me against him. I didn't protest, and I didn't move. My mind was going a hundred miles per hour in all sorts of directions, but I wisely stayed silent.

It felt almost surreal this moment.. I was so used to him being one way, and being constantly frustrated with him.. That this vulnerable version of him almost didn't seem real. He leaned his chin on top of my head, I nearly jumped but I managed to contain my surprise, thankfully. I felt my cheeks heat up, and I was suddenly very thankful he couldn't see my face. He really didn't need to see my blush right now.

"You shouldn't have woke me up." He rumbled above me. I almost couldn't make out his words as his chest vibrated against my ear, making his voice sound deeper than normal.

"You were screaming.." I whispered, hoping he could understand why I had to.

"I could have killed you." He whispered bitterly into my hair.

"But you didn't." I reminded him. "You stopped." He hadn't been in his right mind when he woke up..

I didn't voice how utterly terrified and helpless I had felt.. There was no need, we both knew I was no match for him. Even now as I hugged him, he was much larger than I was.. and he was much stronger than even the strongest human male, I was fragile to him.

"You need to be on guard.. even from me." He scolded. "Especially from me.." He muttered above me after a moment.

I scoffed against his chest. He smelled like my body wash... he smelled like vanilla.

I doubted that even if I had been fully on guard when I woke him up, that it would have mattered.. The situation would have still ended the same, if not even worse if I had been defensive and struggled. His nightmare had really messed him up. I didn't regret my actions though, he needed someone right now.. and I was here... Despite how much shit had gone down between us in such a short time.. I couldn't ignore him when he needed help.. he hadn't ignored me after he put my life into danger. If he had, I'd be dead by now.

Buried in some unmarked grave by Hydra.

"Unless you're willing to sleep without us attached at the hip so to speak..." I trailed off.

His chest rumbled lowly in response. His way of telling me that there was no way in hell that was going to happen.

"Didn't think so."

I wasn't sure where I was finding the strength to remain so calm.

He started to move then, shifting the both of us into standing position, I slid down until my feet touched the floor. I tried to pull back then, but his grip remained unrelenting on me as he shuffled me backwards towards the bags.

Guess he was liking the hug?

He let go of me long enough to lean down and grab something, then he was using our tied-wrists to direct me where he wanted me to go.. back towards the wall we had fallen asleep at. This time however, he tossed his sweater and mine onto the floor, balled up.

He pulled me down to the ground with him easily. I finally understood what it was he was doing. Make-shift pillows.

I grabbed the discarded blanket and pulled it over us again as we laid down, the hoodie was lumpy.. but it supported my neck a bit, which I was thankful for.. Maybe I could convince him to get a real pillow soon? We'd work on it...


Here it is, lovely readers! Chapter nine! I know this chapter was a bit short, but that's only because several of the ones coming up are quite long. This is one of the chapters I like to refer to as 'the calm before the storm', after all, gotta' have some calm chapters. They'll make Bucky's flip-outs later that much more fun, hahaha! (If that doesn't give you guys a hint, I don't know what will...) Now, it's been asked of me why Kat isn't asking about her future yet, about what's in store down the road. Well that is simple, despite this spanning nine chapters so far, they haven't actually been together that long. She's completely overwhelmed and is just kind of compartmentalizing everything, which is very, very bad of her of course.. Because the longer you bury your emotions, the worse it will be when they finally come out. I hope you all enjoyed this rare glimpse of a vulnerable Bucky, I bet you all know what he was dreaming about... Until next time lovelies! Read and Review! ~