Chapter 9 ~ Admittance
The next morning…
Minerva watched as Mikala stared at her…unmoving. Seconds ticking by, the only noise that could be heard was the flow of water dripping off the worn stones of the creek that ran along the edge of the property Minerva had temporarily been residing at.
"You mean that...you don't yet." Mikala said, eyeing Minerva…disbelieving.
"No, Mikala." She whispered, "I think you're wonderful, I care about you deeply, but…" She met blue eyes with steely green ones, "I don't love you."
"After everything…you can't tell me..." Her voice shaking…at the implications of their conversation, "That you don't love me."
Minerva tightened her left hand within her lap, forcing the buried words to the surface. "I've been running, Mikala." She said, as Mikala's hand reached across the bamboo table, encompassing her right one within hers.
"From what?" She questioned, eyes filled with concern.
"Love." Minerva quietly stated, causing Mikala to blanch…but her hand remained atop Minerva's as eyes questioned green ones.
Slowly…painstakingly…seconds moved forward…neither woman saying a word…as both tried to find balance with Minerva's heart spoken word.
"Then who…" Mikala fought for a breath and the words, "Has managed to steal away your heart?"
"Someone who is already married and I…have been trying to move on…not think of…" Minerva paused before finally saying, "Her."
At once…Mikala understood as to why Minerva was so different after returning from Hogwarts…and always seemed interested in the weekly correspondence… "Who is she?"
"Someone…who…" She pulled her hand back, reaching up and taking her glasses off. "I never should have…"
"It's one of your past students." Mikala said, blue eyes flashing in understanding. They had spoken about the notion years ago…how difficult it would be for her to fall in love with one of her former students…get past the awkwardness of having watched, molded…and subsequently been an integral part of a person's life for seven years; and how would she know that the person didn't merely have an unrealized crush.
"Yes." Minerva quietly admitted…tears beginning to pull in her eyes. "It is." She blinked feeling a tear slip down her cheek.
"How did…you let…?" Mikala took a breath, "You never used to get that close…to your previous students."
"She wasn't just any student." Minerva stated, her mind drifting to Hermione…and how she would describe the woman. "She was…is…brilliant and one of the few persons I have ever been able to carry on an intelligent debate with…" She felt a smile pull at the corner of her lips as she recalled one of their more heated debates just before she graduated, "And it was very difficult for me after Amelia's death, and then to lose Albus'…heading the Order of Phoenix…the Battle of Hogwarts…rebuilding Hogwarts…and then she came back to Hogwarts to finish her seventh year, having missed it; despite being a member of the Order…defending Hogwarts…saving Harry…and she was so…very different than the student who had left a year before when she came back…"
"Hermione." Mikala stated…barely above a whisper.
"Yes."
"And you left after she married Ron."
A tear slipped off her lash, "Yes."
Mikala knew something wasn't quite right, leaning forward. "But there's more…" She brought her hand up…eyes becoming wide as she thought she pieced together what had happened, what had been the impetus to drive Minerva away…even temporarily from Hogwarts. "You slept with her."
"No." Minerva's voice shaky as she continued on, "But I did kiss her, the night before she married Ronald."
"And…?" Mikala couldn't believe what the woman across from her was saying; she had kissed…a former student…the night before she was to be married!
"I sent her home."
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Hermione woke to a dry, cotton mouth; a chasm for a headache pounding in the back of her eyes; a burning desire to go to the bathroom; and…her legs felt…wobbly. It wasn't until she flipped the covers back and stood up, did she realize exactly…how much she had drank last night…falling back onto the bed…feeling her body crash against the sheets, that she also realized she was naked.
Naked?
Hand to head, she stumbled upward again, feeling as though the light behind her eyes would carve her head in two…she went to alleviate the most important problem…noticing how bright the sun was from behind the oak blinds. Great…she mused, on top of it all, I'm probably late for work.
She absently went to the loo and then turned on the hot water for a shower…opening the medicine cabinet and gratefully finding a bottle of headache potion, which she downed in one swallow.
The ache in her head eased almost immediately, and she stepped into the shower…the warm water beating down on her skin…easing the twinge in her muscles across her stomach, back…legs…as she tried recalling what had happened last evening.
She remembered opening the bottle of firewhisky after returning from Hogwarts…
Sometime along there…she had opened a second one…
And she remembered the fleeting notion of wanting to be where Mikala had been yesterday…
And…
Hermione's eyes popped open, "Ohhh…my…" Tears in her eyes as she recalled…exactly what had happened last night…
And how wonderful it had felt…
And how awfully wrong it was…to be with one person and imagine having sex…no she corrected herself, what had happened last night wasn't sex…it would have been easier…more palatable…
She had imagined it had been Minerva making love to her…and she had asked for more…even said her name...
She thanked Merlin Ron hadn't heard…
But…she had.
And now…
She had to live with that knowledge…
Her stomach twisted, nausea at both the alcohol and the realization that she could no longer live like this. She could no longer live with Ron…live this lie…that had become her routine…and the metallic taste swept over…
As tears slid down her face…she would leave Ron she realized…she had to; and in essence irrevocably alter her relationship with Harry and Ginny… They were her best friends…and then there was Minerva. It wasn't as if…she would welcome her into her life, she had Mikala…but perhaps they could become friends again…
Her stomach retching…
At how utterly alone she felt...and would be…
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As Mikala wrapped her arm around Minerva's waist, eyes glancing to the clock…she noticed the time. It was already past two in the morning, their talk had lasted…for hours. Minerva slowly recanted how she had come to see Hermione as something, other than a student…and how on the eve of Hermione's graduation Minerva realized that she had feeling that stretched far beyond that of a mentor, teacher or friend. She spoke of how she tried to remain distant as Ronald proposed…and their courtship continued, while they would see each other sparingly, their primary communication through letters and finally how Hermione had happened upon the gates of Hogwarts…
Mikala had listened intently and attentively to Minerva, asking for clarification on a few areas…but otherwise, remained…quiet. It wasn't until just after twelve, she had begun to talk…and inquire if Minerva was going to pursue Hermione which was met with a resounding no. Minerva adamantly refused to interfere with Hermione's life, she had found happiness…even if it was in another's embrace…
"…and you, Minerva. What have you found?" Mikala's words were quiet, but her question profound.
They shared a long…meaningful look… "For the most part, peace." Came the honest reply.
Mikala let her eyes travel along Minerva's high cheekbones, piercing eyes, lips…neck…and then brought her eyes back to green ones. Her decision made…one that was never really a decision if truth be told. She would take whatever the woman before her offered… "I want you in my life, Minerva…" She held up her hand, stymieing Minerva's interruption. "And though, I know you may not love me…I know you truly care about me. And…for me…that is enough…if it is for you."
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Ron swept in from work, roses in hand, early. He had forgone his usual after work revelry with Seamus, Dean and Zach; much to their dislike.
But last night…had been…well…mind blowing. Just the thought of how…responsive…how…wanton…Hermione had been last evening as she eagerly sought more…how her hips had ground into his…how her soft moans had filled the room…left his waistline feeling far too restrictive, which he hoped to be correcting, soon.
He cast a glance into the parlor where she was usually studying…to find it, empty. Completely empty.
He frowned as his hand dropped to his side, "Hermione?" He called out.
No answer came.
Setting the roses on the table, he half-hazardly threw his cloak atop the chair before ducking his head in the kitchen and was about to see if she was still sleeping…but his eyes saw a piece of paper lying atop the kitchen table.
At once he walked over…scanning the note.
Ron,
Had a few things come up with Mom and Dad, gone to stay and sort out. Nothing urgent, I'll be back later this week.
Hermione
He re-read the note, and for a moment contemplated on apparating over to give her the roses…but instead grabbed a vase, added some water and placed them within. She'd be back in a few days, and they would be ready and waiting for her return. Besides…he mused, casting a look back at the roses and then the note, if it was important, she would have asked me to join her. And he swept back out of the room, about ready to grab his cloak and sweep back out of the house to join his mates…but as he shifted, he was deftly reminded of his 'growing' problem that he had planned to alleviate with Hermione.
The thought of his wife caused another jolt to pass through him…and he gave a momentary thought of popping over to her…and take her upstairs to their guest room for relief. But as quickly as the idea swept into his head, he knew that Hermione would never permit it…especially at her parents' home.
With an exasperated sigh…he'd have to take care of his rising problem himself or subject himself to a cold shower…
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A/N: Getting closer and closer and closer to the end of Minerva's sabbatical. Hope you enjoyed.
