Two hours later, Cullen was dripping sweat and a large pile of firewood had grown around him. He'd practically chopped a whole forest. Neria had been watching him throw himself into the chore, shirtless and quite spectacular. Before the Keep, she'd never seen him in anything but his Templar armor. And the last week didn't count either, since he'd been mostly wrapped in a blanket or feverishly tossing and turning.
But now, she found it difficult to take her eyes off him. He was muscular, all the years of training had paid off. Every time he bent to chop into the wood, she could see the muscles in his arms and chest tighten, the pull of his stomach and the way the sweat glistened in the sunlight. The faint hinted v above the waist of his pants begged to be touched, she could imagine running her fingers along the perfect cut of his abdomen.
Pulling herself away from staring before he caught her, she turned back to the training dummies lined against the wall. She'd been casting, trying to get herself back to full strength. The last time she'd shared her magic with Cullen, only a few nights earlier, he'd drawn too strong and almost killed her. That was the night she'd tied him up. Neria still didn't feel up to her usual self.
He'd known she was watching. He was pretty sure he didn't mind. When he felt her magic stir again, he leaned back against the wall to watch her cast. The sweet song of her spells was off today. He'd known the feeling of Neria casting, even in his sleep. It had mapped itself in his heart, in his very being. And it wasn't right today.
He thought to say something but before the words were out, she stumbled while trying to throw a simple fireball. Cullen was across the courtyard and by her side in the blink of an eye. "Neria!" She felt his strong hands against her back along the curve of her hip as she fell into him with an altogether unladylike grunt. Her hands were trembling ever so slightly, and Cullen growled at how pale she was, more so than usual.
"I-I'm fine. Just overdid it." His chin rested against the top of her head, gaze shifting down when she inclined her own slightly. "Honest. You can let me go." The shakiness in her voice revealed the deception. Cullen wasn't buying it.
"I did this to you, didn't I?" She didn't answer, he didn't need her to. He already knew the truth. With a scowl, he scooped her unapologetically into his arms, ignoring her sudden vocal protests. She was weak and gave little fight, finally giving up completely and letting her head fall to rest against his bare shoulder.
Cullen released her only once they'd reached the room she'd been calling home for the last week. After carefully depositing her onto the bed, he flung himself angrily into the chair, glaring over at her as she tried to sit up and face him.
"How bad is it?" His glowering made it difficult to argue, and she wasn't sure she had the will or desire to fight. Staring at the far wall to avoid eye contact, she worried her lower lip for several minutes in silence before finally throwing her hands up in surrender.
"Fine. Yes I'm a little weak. Okay? I didn't have any lyrium so it's just taken a little longer to recover..that's all." Neria shot him a challenging glare.
"Why did you stay, when you knew what it was doing to you?" Cullen balled his fists, far more angry at himself than he could possibly be at her. After all, he was the only that used his Templar powers to hurt her, when she'd only been trying to help. His gaze had shifted to the floor, unable to bear her stare.
"Because I had no choice. You needed it to ease the withdrawals. It was the only way." She shrugged, it was the truth and there was no point in sugar coating it. The words garnered another angry stare from Cullen. He seemed unable to speak, just staring at her from across the room. Finally, she saw him struggle to take a long steady breath.
"So you..you let me drain your magic to ease MY suffering. Because maker knows I didn't deserve a little pain or anything. Neria...I could have killed you! Did you even consider that?" He was furious with himself and with her complete disregard for her own safety and life. For being so damn weak that the decision was placed on her in the first place.
Neria didn't respond. Instead she crept softly from the bed and found her way to him, crawling into his lap without a word. He felt her slender arms curl around his neck and turned his face inward to press it against the curve of her neck. They remained like that, silently holding one another, for what seemed like an eternity.
He could feel her cheek press gently against his forehead, feel her breath on his skin. It made his stomach turn into liquid, having her in his arms, so close he could feel her heart beating and her magic hum softly. She smelled like herbs and rain and lilacs; Cullen had never wanted anything so badly.
"I did it because you needed me. And I would do it again. Even if it killed me." Her voice was soft and sweetly whispered in his ear, making his shiver involuntarily. His jaw ticked, a hitch in his throat suddenly making it hard to breath. Maker how did he deserve someone like her?
Cullen held her, closing his eyes as he listened to her breathing slowly, steadily against him. "Neria...losing you would end me." He closed his mouth before more could come out, before a confession of his feelings could be fully realized. He didn't want this moment to end and if he blurted out something stupid, she would surely run. But when she pulled back and she smiled that enchanting smile of hers, it was his undoing. Cullen heard the words as he spoke them but seemed helpless to stop them. "I love you Neria. I've always loved
They hung in the air between them, such a small comment but so weighed with promise. She stared, eyes widened slightly, unsure what to say. She seemed to be waiting for him to take it back, to say he changed his mind. As if that was something he could ever do.
Before she found her voice or he lost his nerve, Cullen kissed her.
