"TEMPORARY SETBACK!" screamed the headline of the Koopa Kaller. This particular copy rested on a coffee table, next to a mug full of cold coffee and a bowl of soggy cereal.
The mug, bowl, and table (and the home they were inside) belonged to Iggy Hammer. He sat alone, his eyes endlessly shifting between the bowl, mug, and paper. He hadn't touched any of them.
It'd been a week since the King's prize was swept out from under his eyes. And, for that matter, since a bridge was swept out from under his feet.
The Mario brothers had dropped Bowser into a deep pit of lava, reducing him to a skeleton. This, at least, was indeed a "temporary setback", as Kamek and Kammy were working their brand of Magik to bring him back, along with General Boom Boom and everyone else that was injured or killed. But this work would take months.
Iggy finally got up from the table, leaving his untouched breakfast behind, and entered the kitchen. Spike was there, watching a news broadcast.
"Our temporary general has officially pardoned our old friend Lakitu!" exclaimed one of the Koops brothers. They now wore cracked blue shells and a patch on one eye. "This marks the fifth time this week that a discharged officer has been reinstated..."
In the absence of any actual authority following Boom Boom's defeat, Koops was assigned his old position. Much to the chagrin of the other remaining officials, he would likely hold the post for many months, while the Magikoopas did their work. Koops spent most of his temporary position either napping or re-hiring.
The Koops brothers continued. "Although the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom has been released by the enemy, our defeat is absolutely temporary. The Kingdom will be ours!"
'Yeah, right,' thought Spike. The Mushroom Kingdom was lost. The measly Toads and their damn superheroes had won.
Of course, Bowser would undoubtedly try to invade again once he returned from the dead. But Spike had a feeling that the outcome would be the same, again and again and again.
As for Spike and Iggy, they were sent home utterly dejected. After spending days trying to take down the brothers while being humiliated at every turn, they were thrown out empty-handed while the ones that screwed them over we're rewarded.
Iggy felt like crap. He'd failed a mission for the first time, and the biggest mission he'd ever had, too. He and his brother had gotten no pay for their troubles and no other compensation. Their business was completely, permanently tarnished.
What would even be the point of continuing mercenary work with this job failed? They had plans for that money. They were going to buy Sledge's entire product set for the year. They were going to move to a newer building. They had even considered hiring an employee, before remembering that they would have to pay them.
Clearly, without their fresh load of cash, work was totally pointless. They'd have to close down and live their lives as circus performers. Or something...
Iggy glanced over at Spike. He was laying face down on the floor in a fetal position, as making noises strikingly similar to the sounds of a dying Piranha Plant. Spike was clearly feeling the same way.
Iggy gave a long, sorrowful, dejected sigh, and turned to an old stack of mail. He began aimlessly sifting through it, while mentally wondering which rooftop in the city would be the most fun to jump off of. Jumping off of their HQ wouldn't be very interesting, since he wouldn't have to travel far. Perhaps he could try heading over to the Green Li-
His finger stopped on one particular package.
It was a small, yellow bag, barely noticeable between the pounds of advertising junk. Iggy only saw it because of a very particular symbol on it: the insignia of the Koopa Kingdom.
'No...' thought Iggy. 'It couldn't be'. But the minute he opened the bag, he saw that it was: out came spilling Koopacoin after Koopacoin!
"SPIKE!" Iggy shrieked. He ran into the next room and started violently pounding his brother on the head.
"Aargh! What is it, damn it? I was all good and sad just now!"
Iggy held open the bag, revealing the massive multitude of money within. "THE KING PRE-PAID!"
Spike gaped in awe and immense joy.
The Hammer brothers ran out of their headquarters and into the streets, which were filled to the brim with the sick and mourning. Money! Why, with all this cash from the king they'd inadvertently gotten killed, they could move to a newer building! They could buy Sledge's entire product set for the year! Or they could blow it all on crap! Whatever! They had all they needed or wanted in life now!
Oh, wishes certainly do come true.
THE END
