Whaa, its been so long! I'm sorry this is short and somewhat bland, but please excuse me. Its been so long! Will do better with the next chapter! :D enjoy!
Ichigo realized a few things while Matsumoto Rangiku was forcing a crash course on stalking on him. The first was that she probably was not either as good or as successful a stalker as she claimed to be-and the second was that the lack of morals in her was shocking in a way that opened up completely new chapters in the field of sociopath study.
She was also making him incredibly nervous, panicky and pessimistic- almost all of it at the same time-by being as unsupportive as a person could get.
Her advice was questionable at best.
" First, do not make eye contact with subject."
"ANY IDIOT WOULD KNOW THAT!"
"Second, if you think you're invisible then they cannot see you."
"ARE YOU HIGH!?"
"Always try to be as boisterous as possible. It distracts the subject from your intentions."
"GET OUTTA HERE!"
"If you kidnap her brother-"
" DON'T EVEN END THAT ONE!"
"Are you a boxer or a brief guy-"
"NOT RELEVANT!STOP IT!"
Perhaps sitting in a seat partially hidden in vegetation and slurping furiously on a mango milkshake while spying on Rukia and Ishida wasn't super clever. It certainly wasn't speeding things along. But he felt like it was better than doing whatever it was that Matsumoto was trying to get him to do. Many of her unasked-for suggestions involved kidnapping people- a worrying feature that she failed to provide a satisfying explanation to, and many of them advertised injury to self.
This far, neither Rukia nor Ishida had noticed them. Ichigo, meanwhile, at times even postponed blinking to make sure they did not have even a single unsupervised minute. He didn't trust that stuck-up human pencil as far as he could throw Zaraki taichou. Matsumoto lounged beside him in her chair, idly picking at her ice cream, looking extremely bored.
"Gawd you're so DULL !," she whined.
"Are you bored?," he asked her. "Well then, please leave."
"Do you not want my help?! If its like that just come out and say it properly!," she shouted.
"I HAVE! I have said that so many times I don't even know-"
"Geez, okay, okay, I'll stay since you're begging like that."
Ichigo crushed his fifth Styrofoam milkshake container into a pulp.
He watched Ishida pick out cherries from his dessert and transferring them to Rukia's when she wasn't looking and snorted forcefully. That idiotic Quincy! Rukia wasn't like other girls! You couldn't just give her your food and win her ov-
His grin turned to a murderous scowl when he saw Rukia's face light up at the sight of the cherries. She grinned like a schoolgirl as she popped one in her mouth, her violet eyes widening and sparkling in happiness.
Something twisted in Ichigo's chest. When had she smiled like that with him? Even Ishida, who'd been looking strained with some worry earlier, couldn't keep from smiling at the kind of face she was making. When had he even seen Ishida smile like that?
Ichigo dropped bonelessly into his chair. Why was this happening? He didn't want to see this. This isn't how it was all supposed to go.
I know I'm harsh sometimes, he thought tiredly. I know I can be rough. But I thought it was okay. What am I to do?... I can't be like Ishida.
"Does that mean I can't make her smile like that?," he asked out loud. When Matsumoto didn't reply, he looked up.
To see her halfway into her way to their quarry's table.
Ichigo's heart caught in his throat.
'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?," he semi-whispered furiously.
"Relax!," she replied." Nobody can see me, so I'll go and find out what those two are talking about."
Ichigo's eyes were straining at their sockets."THEY CAN BOTH SEE YOU!"
But she ignored him.
There was no other way. He jumped up from his seat and tackled her into the bushes.
Kinda.
Apparently, tackling wasn't as easy as they made it look like in movies. By the time he'd grabbed her and was pushing her out of sight of Rukia and Ishida, he possessed as much balance as a one-legged elephant. Then they were toppling into an old couple's table and Ichigo was looking at some time in a mental hospital.
Ichigo's face was almost in the woman's sundae when there was a flash, and the next moment they were back at their own table.
"Matsumoto! Care explaining to me why I had to shunpo you out of killing someone again?"
Matsumoto snapped out of her bewilderment.
"TAICHOU!," she shouted, opening her arms and glomping Hitsugaya Toushiro, who immediately commenced to struggle and order her to unhand him.
"Wait, what did you mean by killing someone AGAIN?," Ichigo asked.
"What makes you think you have a right to my private life?," Matsumoto pouted.
"Well, you've been helping yourself to mine, haven't you!?"
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!," Hitsugaya screamed.
Ichigo shut up. With Rukia not being around, it had been a while until someone had ordered him to do that. He kinda missed that.
"Anyway, Taichou what are you doing here?," Matsumoto asked. " I thought you left earlier."
"Earlier?," Ichigo asked. They ignored him.
Hitsugaya frowned.
"I was keeping an eye on Abarai… Che, but he seems to have given me the slip."
"Renji?! Renji's here!?Where?", Ichigo jumped up.
Matsumoto looked at him.
"Just when I started thinking you might be straight after all…," she started.
"Stop! '" Ichigo shrieked. "What kind of things are you thinking? How come all your conclusions are so wild?!"
"Then, I'll be leaving…", Hitsugaya interjected boredly, already starting to walk away
"No, Taichou wait!," Matsumoto grabbed the tiny captain by his hakama. "Since you've come all this way, stay and help!"
"Matsumoto! Let go of me!," Hitsugaya struggled angrily.
"Let him go! It's bad enough you're forcibly tagging along! There are too many people involved in this! We're stalking, not going to a wedding!," Ichigo screamed.
Matsumoto ignored, Hitsugaya swore and Ichigo screeched.
This went on for a remarkable amount of time.
Luckily, there was no on to witness this. Except for the stalker unit, of course. They knew their boss would want a report of this even though she was a party to the incident, but found themselves essentially at a loss on how to word whatever was happening. They experienced mild depression because of this and cheered themselves up by indulging in some sunglasses-shopping.
They don't seem to have much of a part in this story after all.
Next chapter- Ishida and Rukia will come in, promise! :3
Wow, its been a while!I'm so sorry if its a little dry!Hopefully I will pick up the spirit again in the next chapter!
Please enjoy yourself and leave reviews! Thanks a bunch for reading!You're all awesome! :D
