Title: My Soul To Keep

Part Nine: Here We Go Again…

Author: Roguie/ SunSpecOps/ Danae Bowen

Fandom: Eureka

Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Jo/Zane, ensemble.

Rating: T… with a strong "ish".

Spoilers: Everything up to I'll Be Seeing You

Summary: When a random experiment goes horribly awry, Jo is caught in the center. When fate altered her life the last time, a small piece of her had died. When her friends conspire to fix what had broken, can her heart handle it a second time around? Entirely AU after IBSY.

Disclaimer: Eureka obviously doesn't belong to me, I just like to borrow the characters and mutate their inner voices. Please don't sue; my house is small, my car is useless and my dogs are pains in the arse, but they're all I have.

A/N: Delays delays delays… I'd say I'm sorry for the length of time between postings, but I wrote an entirely separate one shot for Jo and Zane, finished a Secret Santa for Primeval, got half way through another Secret Santa for Primeval, and penned out the idea for another Jo/Zane one shot. Plus it's Christmas, it's busy, have a heart! :P~ Maybe, if people are nice to me, I'll mention the Christmas Jo/Zane one shot I've got on my hard drive that's nearly finished…. :D Mmm, Christmas Eve with hot chocolate and Zane… /sigh.

A/N2: Reviews inspire my muse; I find Jo and Zane like a drug to her, but if they're the drug, reviews are the devil's whisper putting that needle in her arm. Please don't leave me hanging, and I promise in return that I won't leave you hanging.

~~~E~~~

Zane eyed the patrons in Café Diem warily, noting several of Global Dynamics scientists staring at them with open shock. He narrowed his eyes, forcing a dangerous ire into his pointed gaze, sniffing in satisfaction as they lowered their heads quickly, choosing to return to their meals rather than cause a scene involving Eureka's most notorious bad boy.

It took only a moment for Vincent to come around the counter, greeting them warmly. Zane's tension, however, didn't ease until they were led up the steps and into the back of the café, well removed from the prying eyes of the town.

Vincent settled them at their table, winking at Jo subtly before leaning down to Zane, whispering softly, "Work with me here. Don't piss her off and I'll make sure no one bothers you. Start something, and I can't help you."

Zane grinned cheekily, holding up his hands innocently. "Just here for dinner, I promise."

Vincent nodded. "Okay, kids, so what'll it be? I have a gorgeous roast elk with an amazing blue cheese-port sauce. Or if you're feeling adventurous, an apple-ginger gravy that gives it just the proper kick."

They ordered their food with discretion, watching quietly as Vincent disappeared into the front room. Jo lifted an eyebrow at Zane, the expression on her face bemused.

"Don't piss her off, hmm?" She grinned. "I take it we've had a fight or two in public?"

Zane chuckled. "You could say that. The last time, you flipped me to my back in front of the counter." He feigned a look of hurt embarrassment. "People talked about it for days. Such a scene."

She covered her mouth to try and hide her grin, but the laughter escaped anyway. "How have you not learned to fight back yet?"

He shrugged and tossed her a saucy wink, lowering his voice to a quiet growl. "Maybe I don't want to."

"You can't be serious!"

"Eh, I'm a lover not a fighter."

"Zane…"

"A geek, not a warrior."

"Zane…"

"A felon, not a grunt."

Shit.

"Never convicted," she corrected automatically, and Zane sighed. Brain meet mouth, now for God's sake, work together!

"You'd really take away a guy's dreams? At least let me have my felony." Another cheeky grin, another wink. Don't ask, let it work. C'mon, Lupo, take the bait.

"How about I trade you your "felony" for a whole set of brand new dreams?"

And he grinned like a fool. "I get to pick the colours, and this time, you really do try them all on for size."

She chuckled softly, eyes shining as for once a memory of their past didn't seem to bring him down. "I suppose you've earned that much." When he opened his mouth to speak again, Jo held up her hand, cutting him off gently. "No popcorn."

He blinked in surprise but recovered smoothly, even if he did say so himself. "Eh, get's stuck in my teeth, anyway," he grinned. "Way overrated."

At that point Vincent arrived with their food, relieved to note that his two most volatile patrons were truly at ease and enjoying each other's company. He slipped unnoticed from the room and made his way behind the counter, frowning as he leaned forward to announce, "Looks like Doctor Fargo's about to win tonight's pool. They're looking pretty comfortable, so I highly doubt there'll be any bloodshed tonight."

"Yes!" came from the corner where Vincent could just see the top of Fargo's head, the smaller man almost completely engulfed in the overstuffed chair he sat in. Vincent figured he should feel some remorse over the series of milestone pools set in place for the progression of Jo and Zane's relationship, but on the other hand, they'd cost him a fortune in repairs over the years.

Yeah, they owed him.

More bets came in on various other high points of their relationship, most notably when they'd get caught in some kind of compromising position at work, and Vincent couldn't help the grin as he lifted his eyes to the small set of stairs that led to the new couple.

Okay, maybe they were about even.

~~~E~~~

She'd never put much stock into flavoured coffee, but when Zane insisted that she try a vinspresso laced with Irish cream, she decided to be adventurous and damned if it wasn't as excellent as he'd claimed.

It really was odd, this date, sitting and talking like a normal every day couple, where some disaster or another wasn't likely to be looming over their heads. They'd taken their time with dinner, enjoyed each other's company, it was almost as if they were getting to know each other again. She supposed that the circumstances warranted some catching up, but this night out, it felt like something new for them. The way he watched with such interest as she spoke actually warmed her, and she glowed with pleasure. He'd always talked before, and she'd always struggled to stay in a conversation that was well beyond her depths. Somehow, she'd always allowed him to control that side of their relationship; tonight, it was as though he'd relinquished that control to her. He encouraged her to continue speaking when she'd cut off a story, claiming it stupid, and finally snapped when she'd managed to stop herself one too many times.

"Stop," he'd hissed, sharply, when once again she'd stopped in the middle of a story from her days in the military.

She'd blinked at him in surprise, her voice cracking in unease. "What?"

When he reached over to envelop her hands in his, his warm fingers holding hers in place as he held her gaze with steady blue eyes, her heart pounded so heavily in her chest that she wondered for a moment if he could hear the unsteady beat.

"You have absolutely no idea what I'm thinking, so don't just go and assume I'm not interested because it's an army story. The military is part of you, JoJo, so I don't care if you're not regaling the wonders of faster than light neutrinos and the effect that'll have on Einstein's laws of physics. I'm not here to discuss the flaws in measuring particle velocities and the obvious fabrication behind half the tests being performed. They pay me all day to think and talk about that. No one is paying me to sit here and listen to you. This is my choice, my one small freedom, and damn it, if I want to hear about Jo Lupo's amazing, kick ass tales of life in the special forces, then that's what we're going to talk about." When she picked her jaw up off the table and swallowed uncertainly, Zane gave her hands a quick squeeze and leaned back in his chair. "So, you were pushed out of a plane and only just managed to grab a chute as you fell. Now, you're stuck in mid air, having to put the thing on…"

As his voice trailed off, indicating she was to pick up the story where she'd left off, she stared at him in wonder. Her voice was small as she spoke slowly, glancing up just to make sure he was serious. "You wouldn't believe how hard a parachute is to get on your back when you're free falling. The force of the wind, your speed and that feeling of raw terror the guys always put off as adrenaline… Yeah, the combination sucks."

He chuckled, his eyes dancing at her dry humour as he leaned forward into hands, elbows resting on the table, his gaze holding hers steadily. Somehow, he'd left her wondering if it was possible to fall in love all over again with someone she'd never stopped loving in the first place.

Zane, for his part, drank in her every word and wondered silently how he'd ever put the pieces of his heart back together the morning that she woke up and realized he would never be good enough for someone as amazing as her.

~~~E~~~

Rather than return to SARAH immediately, Zane and Jo chose to walk through town, enjoying the clear night air as all the stars shone brightly in the sky.

Conversation had died between them, leaving them silent but not uncomfortable, and when Jo shivered without comment, the little red shawl doing nothing to ward off the sudden chill in the night air, Zane's large arm fit easily around her, drawing her to him, sheltering her with his own heat.

Intrinsically, he understood why they'd made the decision to stay quiet about the changes. Two weeks ago, Jo's body was weakened, her heart damaged and stopped by an electrical current strong enough to overload her brain. Two weeks ago, the shock of learning everything she knew had disappeared and leaving in its place a trail of twisted misery could have done even more serious damage to her heart and mind than had been done accidentally. Two weeks ago he'd wanted answers, and in finding those answers had committed himself to a lie so large it couldn't be contained forever. He'd almost blown it tonight; he'd opened his mouth without thinking and had almost given them all away. Two weeks ago, it had never actually occurred to him to lie to Jo; even when she'd been arresting him, their relationship, if nothing else, had been honest.

They had so much more now then they'd had two weeks ago, but what they didn't have anymore is what Zane missed. He didn't want to watch his every word, guard his expression when she wanted to talk about before, and quite honestly? He wanted to let her know exactly how badly he wanted to beat the living shit out of his before self for letting her continually doubt how important her interests and her experiences actually were. He truly didn't understand how she could think he wouldn't care, wouldn't listen, unless he'd really never cared to listen. That in itself would have made him the most self centered, idiosyncratic, stubborn, blind… scientist in the known world.

He sighed. Felon or not, the more he learned of their past relationship, the more he doubted the reality of the idealized stories of the others. He'd seen Jo's subconscious reactions to him, more than once, and he found himself wanting less and less to be the guy she'd once known, even if she did think she'd been in love with him. What he found himself wanting now was for her to forget him entirely, and recognize Zane for who he is now.

Their bodies reacted to each other no matter what time line they were in. Physically, they were meant to be mates, Zane knew this as well as he knew the twenty four fundamental particles that made up matter. It seemed, however, their minds hadn't been on the same playing field in the last timeline, and where Jo keenly felt it, he hadn't seemed to notice or care.

Zane sighed heavily, cursing the inability of his mind to just shut down and enjoy the night out.

All theories and assumptions aside, all felonies and mistakes buried, Zane was starting to believe that he was the better of the two. He'd had the time to grow up, even if he didn't always behave as such. He knew more about life, women, relationships than he had several years ago when life had just been a game. As he thought about it, he started to pity the other Zane; maybe Jo was right, and they hadn't fit. The poor bastard had given her his heart, but not enough of himself for them to have worked; they would've imploded, and Zane understood that now. He was in a place to understand.

He found himself longing for her memory to return, to be able to tell her everything he'd worked out. Given the chance, they could be so much more than the relationship she'd lost. At the very least he'd never take her for granted. His other self had her for two years and in two weeks he'd learned more about Jo Lupo than the other Zane ever had. She should've dropped him ages back, but instead she'd hung on with all she was worth until something inside her had broken and died, leaving her doubting the importance of her very existence; she'd never even seen it happening, but somewhere she'd lost herself in them. Lupo and her lap dog, all superficial physical attraction, kids playing at love. He'd been pathetic. Christ, he was pathetic right now, but at least now he was tripping over himself to prove he was worth her love, rather than receiving it without question.

Jo laughed at him lightly, startling him back into their current situation as he very nearly walked into old Mrs. Ballast from four doors down from him. He ran a hand through his hair and cursed both selves as he realized he'd done exactly what he was accusing his other self of doing; he'd tuned out the present, lost himself in thought and hadn't spoke a word to Jo in very long minutes. Her silence, in itself, spoke volumes; she was used to this.

He shook himself out of his internal funk and glanced up, blinking in surprise as he recognized the houses lining the streets. Somehow, they'd followed a path that led to his neighbourhood, and they were about to cross to the buildings assigned to Global's single resident staff. Before he knew what was happening, Jo had led him home.

To his home.

His home without Carters and Allisons in the next room.

His home without well meaning, yet arguably psycho smart houses watching over his every move.

His home where there was nothing to stand between a very determined Jo Lupo and the single shard of will power he had remaining.

His heart skipped a beat in his chest before pounding painfully; his breath caught in his throat as they came to his door and she snuggled herself closer against him, her head tucked tight up against his shoulder. It went against every promise he'd made to their friends to open that door and step with her over the threshold into the dark room beyond. Her soft fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, stroking the warm skin she found beneath, her breath whispering across his throat as she whispered something to him he didn't quite catch.

Yep. He was screwed.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Zane needed a plan. Fast.

His breath came in short gasps, his mouth suddenly dry, his normally active brain abandoning him to the wave of pure need that assaulted every cell of his body when she turned in his arms, the warm chocolate of her eyes holding the ice blue of his in a gaze so heated he feared they'd both be set aflame.

And Jo smiled.

~~~TBC~~~

In the Next Part:

"When'd you start working out to this," she gestured towards his gym equipment, "Kind of extreme?"

"What can I say, JoJo? You're a hard woman to keep up with." He winked. "Can't let you win every time."

She dropped the shirts she was holding to the floor and stalked into his bedroom, her trademark, "Just try it, Donovan," grin curling her lips into a wicked smile. Zane supposed he should've been surprised when he found himself flying, landing on his back across his mattress, air whooshing from his lungs, the new sheets he'd just put on the bed wrinkling from the force of his landing.

"You think a little muscle is going to help you?" Her grin turned more wanton than wicked as she climbed over him, pinning him to the bed with one knee pressed into his chest. "No matter what you do, Zane Donovan, I can take you any time I like."

Coming Soon!