Prepare yourself for a long chapter!


TRIS

I freeze on the bench as he walks in with all of his tools. How is he here? I hope he does not recognize me, because of my pale skin, shrunken body, and nonexistent muscles. I hope he walks past me and assembles the bed and leaves. I don't care why he is here or how. But it was no mistake. He glanced at me, with the piercing eyes Tobias was so afraid of, and gave me a scary smile. It was no mistake he came to this room. He was looking for Tobias.

"Hello," he says plainly, and folds up the cot. He takes the tools out of his box, and I imagine him pulling a belt out and . . . I stop myself.

"Hi," I say shakily, struggling to keep my voice flat. There is still some hope that he doesn't know me, he doesn't recognize me, that maybe he just looks at everyone in a mean way. He was Marcus, after all. He steals another look at me and I know he knows. I want to get up and sprint through to door, all the way to the dining hall and find Tobias. But I can't.

What if he hurts me? I can't move anywhere. If he hurts me, there will be no end to whatever hell he creates for me until Tobias comes, and there could be a long line for breakfast. I nervously peek at the door, which is luckily wide open. Maybe, just maybe, I can take a run when his back is turned.

"I was informed that Tobias was staying here. I was also notified that he was mourning the loss of a certain girl. Short, small, blonde. Named Tris." I stared at him, though he was working on constructing the bed. "Understand that I really don't care if you're alive. But where is he?" he says. I can't run from him. He would catch up with me. I'm so frustrated that I can't do anything, that I'm useless and I want to end his existence.

"You really must have some courage to come here all the way from Abnegation, and try to talk to a man who hates you so much that he's afraid of becoming you." I strike a nerve, because Marcus's face freezes for a second before his arms return to hammering something.

"If you're not going to tell me where he is, I might as well answer your questions. I knew about it. I knew about the Bureau, the genetics, everything, since the beginning." I'm not too surprised. He was the leader of Abnegation, and not much can surprise me now.

"I didn't know about this memory serum scheme until later. The Bureau didn't contact me ever again after I first visited it, so I had to consult a friend. Well, brother to you, right?" Marcus turned to look at me, smiling. Caleb? Again? How many times does he have to betray us to understand that we hate him already? "Don't blame him. I had a gun. I was going to shoot him if he didn't tell me what was going on with the part of the Allegiant he was involved in. I had learned a bit about weaponry after raiding that storehouse with Johanna. He confessed where you were, all the plans, everything. I took a truck down here. The Bureau people had been erased of memory so they didn't consider kicking me out, so I stayed. I inoculated myself as well, if you were wondering. So don't try anything foolish."

I still feel uneasy. Marcus wouldn't come here just because we were here, just because he was curious to know what was going on with our part of the Allegiant, though we've forgotten about it. "Allegiant" holds no meaning here, or at least anymore. It's a forgotten chapter of our lives. All there is is here and now, or at least that's what I want it to be. Just looking at Marcus makes the bile rise in my throat. He reminds me of the past life, a lie that I once lived in. It felt dangerous to have two worlds so close together. That's what Chicago was; a whole different world, apart, fake, a lie, an experiment.

"Tell me why you're really here," I say tightly.

"Why, am I disturbing your peaceful life here with my son?"

"Don't you dare call him your son. You have no right for him to be your son now, after all you've done."

Marcus looks uncomfortable. The bed frame is done and he lifts the mattress onto it, and picks up the hammer.

He starts to walk toward me, slowly at first, and I am completely terrified. This was it. I got to survive death by a hair, and I got to do something right for once, and I got to save Chicago and I now get to live with Tobias, and Marcus is coming toward me with a hammer. I guess it was too good to be true. He stops right in front of me. I stare him down in his eyes, hoping if I am intense enough, something will break inside of him and he'll change his mind. But all I see is a monster raging inside of him, and he really is a monster. There's no way this creature can be a human.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do," he whispers in my face, and I don't even see it coming. I am so focused on the visible loathing swirling around in his dark blue eyes, identical to Tobias's. I become lost in my own thoughts, thinking about how Tobias hates being so similar to him. I get a hard punch in the stomach, and it knocks the wind out of me. It might have not caused as much pain if I had braced myself, and if I wasn't so weak. I feel tears spring to my eyes and I will them not to fall. "He's . . . in the . . . dining hall, okay? Please. Leave." I say, shaking. Thankfully he turns away, standing up, and walks toward the toolbox.

"Next time, it's the hammer."

What a wicked animal.

I realize he doesn't hurt me because he wants to, but he wants to hurt Tobias instead. But why is he so set on hurting him? Marcus held Caleb at gunpoint, came all the way here, and found the Bureau. I didn't want to ask him, but I needed to know, or Tobias could be put in great danger. "Just . . . tell me why you're here," I say, and regret it when Marcus's head turns with a jerk. I cover my face with my hands, but he punches the side of my face and hits my knuckles. They split easily, and I idiotically examine the damage, forgetting all common sense of how to fight. He punches me again with my hands away from my face and his fist connects with my jaw. It aches, then feels like it's crumbling, and I cover it with my hands. Fighting back is out of the question; it will do nothing but make him angrier.

"He needs to be taken back to the experiment," I hear him say in a low voice, and he takes his toolbox, drops something on the floor, and flees, probably so Tobias doesn't come and beat him to his death. I stare at the floor, wanting to scream. Even if I decided to, my aching jaw would probably object. I can't take being confined to bed, or not having enough strength to fight back. I just want to get better already, I want the two weeks to pass so I can walk again, and train to regain strength. My thoughts are to return back to Chicago with Tobias, live in his Dauntless apartment. But I know that might not be able to happen, because Marcus needs him to return to Chicago. I don't know why, but it can't possibly be for any good reason. I bend over, ignoring the ache in my gut where Marcus punched me, and I see Tobias's old Dauntless jacket on the floor.

I remember him wearing it all the time, since he helped me off of the net when I first entered Dauntless. We had no complicated problems. Our world was right, it's what we thought it was. It was genuine. We never thought to ever question if everything was just a setup. Amar was dead, and my parents were alive. The only problems were hiding my Divergence and staying in Dauntless. It meant the world to me then; I could care less now. I couldn't imagine that that city-my world-was fake. I couldn't imagine that all of my friends would be turned into mindless killing machines, or I would be willing to sacrifice my life to Jeanine. You die, I die too. Tobias had followed me there. He knew he was going to die. I knew I was going to die. Still, that didn't even seem important. My problems just become greater, and I can not be left alone.

Heavy footsteps in the hallway. Tobias, finally. The footsteps quicken, probably because he sees the door left wide open. "Tris?" I attempt to casually hold my jaw and smile at him, though it hurts. He walks to me slowly, and covers the hand that I'm holding near my face. With a concerned expression he pulls my hand away, and I try to stare at the floor, or at anything but Tobias's reaction.

"I don't know what to say," he says, and I finally look at him, and his face is reddening and he's clearly angered.

"Calm down," I say quietly. Or you're going to turn into him. I erase the thought, Tobias would never become a monster like Marcus. I'll stop him before he ever does, if he does.

"I can't calm down." His jaw is set tight, breathing quite heavily, and he appears intimidating. "Who? Who came in here? What did they do?" My eyes find his jacket on the floor once again, and I don't want to tell him. He's going to kill Marcus, or worse. "You said we have to trust each other," he reminds me.

"Marcus," I whisper. I see something inside of him break. He's going to go mad, go crazy, he's going to find him and strangle him on the spot and I don't lie that I am afraid of him in that moment, and it's an unpleasant feeling to feel afraid of the person you hold closest to you. He just stands there. I think he's trying to stop it from being true. It wasn't that bad. Marcus came and hit me a couple times. He revealed his plans, he gave us a bed. But this was Marcus we were talking about, and to Tobias it was a big deal.

"He wanted you to come back to Chicago. He didn't tell me why."

"That doesn't matter," Tobias says, and he picks up my hands. He sees the split knuckles. "Tell me. Don't lie. What did he do to you?"

I don't understand. His life's enemy appears where he shouldn't be, wants him to return to a broken society, and he worries about my injuries.

"He hit me in the face. And stomach. That's it. I'm fine." Tobias brings a bowl of water and starts to wash my knuckles. My stomach and jaw are turning purple nicely.

"Tobias, I hate this. Can we just live? Without any problems? I can't even walk to get my own breakfast. I can't even wait for my breakfast to come to me safely."

"I don't know," he answers. "I guess the answer is time," he says after a moment. "You have to wait. You'll get better. Don't worry. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." I can tell that he doesn't believe himself. He sets the bowl of water on a nearby table and turns so his back faces me. "No lying, right?" he says, still not facing me. "No lying," I reply quietly, preparing myself for whatever comes next.

"I'm afraid of becoming him. I'm afraid that I'm going to turn into him and hurt people ruthlessly. And partly, I already am him, because I actually sort of like hurting people, and it scares me a lot. I like the feeling of fighting and hurting, and that's the part of me I'm scared of. I'm afraid of hurting you. He came all the way here and hurt you, and now I'm even more scared that I'm going to do the same thing."

"He barely hurt me," I lied.

"Tris, he still did. And I'm afraid that I can't protect you. I used to think that you were all mine, and I always wanted you. I still do, but the question is if we're good for each other or not." Tobias barely looks over his shoulder. I am shocked. I am still his, and he is mine. I choose him, and he chooses me. I thought that it was that way all long. I remember Tobias's eyes a moment before, and I remember the fear and loathing burning all around him, and how I was afraid. But I can't tell him that. Yet.

"Are you saying . . ." I can't finish the thought. Is he trying to leave me? "Tobias, you're not going to become him. You're not him. You don't have to be afraid. Tobias, you're all I want. Don't even ask if you're not good for me anymore, because you always are. I would never fear you. Listen, I literally came back from the dead for you," I say jokingly, but I partly mean it. Tobias finally turns around and crushes me in his arms, and I like him so much in that moment, the smell and feel and reassurance pouring out of his presence. "We need to be stronger than this," he says quietly. He pulls away and I feel a bit cold, and I guess I shiver because he picks up his Dauntless jacket off of the floor and wraps me in it like a blanket. "I thought about it last night. That we're all damaged, but we can be fixed. We mend each other. And that's what you do to me. You mend me and break me all at once, but it's so worth it because I love you," Tobias confesses.

"I love you," I repeat quietly, and I think I mean it, because I believe in it.


I have written the next chapter, but I will post it as soon as I get 2 more reviews for this chapter, Chapter Nine. So review, because reviewing readers are my favorite readers :)