As I have stated many times before, I have not yet seen season 4 of supernatural apart from two episodes: Lazuras Rising and Yellow Fever. That being said, I only know a brief overview of season 4 so I will pretty much be doing my own thing, with references as I know them added in. Thanks and don't forget to R+R!

When Sam walked out holding Dean's mutilated corpse, Bobby did his best to keep the horrific sight from his daughter, but the damage was already done. One look at Sam's face, tears streming, and one look at Dean's eyes, still piercing green, but lifeless, sent the young woman into screaming hysterics. Bobby held her tightly to him as she clung desperately to him, screaming Dean's name the whole time as Sam continued to carry his brother away to the awaiting impala. Eventually, the exhaustion and injuries sustained from her run in with Lilith, combined with seeing the love of her life lying lifeless, proved too much and she fell forwards, the world blurring as she fainted.

She woke a week later, and was frustrated to find that she was stuck in a hospital, yet again. For a minute, she couldn't help but wonder why it was that when she was doing her own hunts, she generally came away with barely a scratch, but even on the most simplest of missions with Sam and Dean, she ALWAYS ended up in hospital, whether it be a broken bone or a coma! Thinking about Dean suddenly bought a stabbing pain in her chest and immediately, a few tears welled up, and she barely managed to wipe them away before they could fall. As she lowered her arm, the door opened and Bobby walked in with Sam. Bobby gave her a soft smile, but Kerry ignored him. Her eyes were firmly on Sam. He looked so lost and alone that it broke her heart, and she found herself sitting up gently and holding her arms out.

"Sam, come here."

Sam stepped forward, and as soon as he was close enough, Kerry pulled him into a tight hug, ignoring the searing pain that ripped through her as she moved. Sam moved so that he was sitting next to her on the bed and wrapped his arms round her too. She held him close, softly rubbing his back as he started sobbing. She too began crying, burying her head into his shoulder. Bobby watched them sadly, wanting to rush over and pull them both into hugs, but he knew that at that minute, they needed each other more than they needed him. Sam had just lost the only living relative he had left, and Kerry had just lost the only man she had ever loved. His heart was breaking to watch how helpless the pair of them were, but inside, he knew that Kerry was strong. She would pull herself together and move on, but Sam, he wasn't so sure about. Something deep inside of him was warning him that Sam was going to leave, and that he was NOT going to be ok. Just thinking that Sam could turn into the monster that Dean said he could become scared Bobby, but he just knew that Sam would rather vanish and cope with the grief in his own way than to be around the Singers, where he would always be reminded of his brother.

He was certainly proven correct in the fact that Sam was going to leave. Not only did he leave within a month of Dean dying, he completely stopped all contact. Kerry drove herself almost to insanity at first, constantly ringing him and panicking that he had done something to himself. It wasn't until Sam sent them a letter saying that he was perfectly fine but just needed space, that Kerry finally calmed down enough to realise that she had missed the deadline for college applications, which meant she had no idea what to do with her life. That's what Bobby thought anyway. Kerry herself knew exactly what she was going to do. As much as she knew Dean didn't want her too, she just felt so determined that she was going to hunt down every last son of a bitch so that noboody else could be put through the same pain as she had been put through.

She didn't tell Bobby her choice right away. Instead, she spent nearly three weeks cooped up in her room, pouring over Bobby's journals and taking many notes from them, writing them up into her own journal, adding information that she also had learnt from her own hunts over the years. She gathered all of her hunting equipment together, including the knife and gun from Dean, and made sure each one was sharpened and loaded to perfection before placing them in her bag and moving them into her car. Bobby had bought her the car as a graduation present and it was her prized possession. It was a black 1967 Mustang GT 390, and she had to admit, she was as protective over her car as Dean had been over his own. She kept it polished to perfection, every inch of it showing the love and care she dedicated towards it. Bobby watched her loading the car up, and his gut churned. He had a feeling he knew what she was about to do, but he wasn't sure how to ask her, as he didn't want her to get angry with him.

Once she made sure everything was ready, Kerry took a steadying breath, as she knew it was time to tell him. She didn't want to leave her dad, but he had been drinking almost the whole time since Dean died, and she just couldn't stand to see her dad like it anymore. That and she was determined she was going to hunt as many demons as she physically could. She walked back into the house and moved straight up to her dad.

"I think you know what I'm gonna do, daddy"

"Yeah, I do darlin' and I don't like it, but at the end of the day, you're nearly twenty one. It's about time I let you grow up. Just promise me you'll be careful and keep in touch."

"I will dad, but only if you promise that you'll stop drinking."

Kerry looked at Bobby with a serious expression. Bobby sighed and gave her a weak smile before telling her that he wasn't going to drink anymore. Kerry was satisfied that he was telling her the truth and so gave him a long, hard hug. She whistled for Jackson and hugged him too. Normally she would have taken him with her, but this time, she decided that it was best for her dog to stay and protect her dad. As she climbed in her car and pulled out of the junkyard, her heart felt lighter, as if it knew that she was moving on and fighting. Her whole body knew that she had a prupose now, a direction, and she wasn't going to let anything get in her way.

Except maybe Ellen. As Kerry pulled up in front of the Roadhouse, Ellen came out to greet her, a wide smile on her face to see the young hunter. Kerry hugged Ellen and as they pulled away, Ellen suddenly looked hard at Kerry.

"Something's wrong." She stated.

Kerry nodded, blinking back tears, and within what felt like seconds, she found herself sitting at the bar in between Ash and Jo, a steaming cup of tea placed in her hands. Ellen leant over the bar to look at Kerry.

"OK, talk. What's happened?"

"I assume you know about the deal?"

"Yeah, of course. Dean had a year."

"But you didn't know when that year was up?"

"No."

Kerry glanced down at the table and swallowed before looking back up at Jo and Ellen.

"It was over on Sam's birthday. May 2nd."

Both women gasped, and Ellen quickly ran round the bar and threw her arms round Kerry, pulling her into a warm and caring embrace. Kerry returned the embrace briefly before pulling away as she was fed up of crying all the time. She looked over to see that Jo was sitting there silently, tears cascading down her face.

"Honey..." Ellen said.

"It's ok mom, i'm just going to miss him so much."

"No offense intended Jo but you didn't exactly know him." Kerry said.

Jo stood up angrily and hit one of her hands off the bar, creating a loud bang.

"I loved him, for your information!"

Ellen put a restraining hand on her daughter, but Ash didn't move quickly enough to do the same for Kerry and could only watch as the young woman stepped forward and punched Jo straight in the jaw, causing the other woman to drop to the floor, crying out.

"What the hell was that for?" Jo asked.

Kerry glared at her and as Ellen helped her daughter off the floor, Kerry tried to calm herself down so that she didn't hit the girl again.

"How can you love him?! You hardly even knew him! Did you know his favourite song? Favourite food? His biggest fears? Or even where he was born and his birthday?"

Jo stepped forward so she was face to face with Kerry. To look at, they could almost pass as sisters. Same height, same hair colour, same size, same stance, same age. Equal yet so totally different. Kerry also stepped forward, meeting Jo's challenge.

"And you do know all these things?" She asked.

"Actually I do. He was born 24th January 1979, In Lawrence, Kansas. His favourite song is a tie between Led Zeppelin's Ramble On and Travelling Riverside Blues. His favourite foods are cheeseburgers and any form of pie, and his biggest fears other than flying are losing Sam and ending up completely alone, with nobody to be with him, and nobody to love him. But now, he's exactly that: alone. He's in Hell going through who-knows-what, and Sam and I aren't there to patch him up and help him move on. I hate it, being stuck here, waking up every morning to a cold, empty bed, looking out of my window, waiting for the sound of the Impala that I know will never come. I'll never see him gaze into my eyes again, whether it's because he's angry, being protective or telling me he loves me. Never getting to feel his touch again, to smell his scent or feel his warmth. It's tearing me apart and there is nothing I can do about it. Now, if you love Dean, you would feel exactly the same way."

By the time she finished, she was crying again. Jo backed down and gave the other woman a smile, realising that Kerry was truely in love with him. Jo knew she could never live up to Kerry's standard. Kerry knew everything about Dean, they'd known each other for sixteen years, and the way Kerry spoke about Dean made Jo realise what she felt was just lust. She stepped forward and pulled Kerry into a hug. Kerry hugged back, still crying, and when they pulled apart again, the pair formed a friendship that would probably never happened if it hadn't been for Dean passing away.

As Kerry left that afternoon, it was with an even lighter heart. Knowing that she wasn't alone, and that she had the support from all the other hunters gave her a strength and an emotion that she never thought she would feel again.

Hope.