The light from the streetlamps traced spindly amber arms across the windshield as the camper glided on for mile after mile, the red eyes of the far-off brake lights of a car ahead was the only other thing in the expanse of black.
Levi was unhappy. I could tell as he drove and I accompanied him in the passenger's seat, my shoes kicked off, my socked feet crossed at the ankle and resting on the dashboard. I finally turned toward him instead of the mass of black trees whizzing by out the window.
"What's wrong." I said, and I ended it with a hard note, it was no question and I demanded an answer. Even in the dim light I saw a few muscles in his neck ripple as he bit down hard on his jaw.
"Besides the hundreds of gashes in both my arms, you know, I'm just peachy." His words were acrid. His knuckles tensed around the steering wheel. "You were the one who stitched them all up, weren't you?"
I nodded, just once. I swallowed and my skin prickled- he was mad. He wasn't like this very often.
"Yeah, well, thanks for that I guess. I should have just done it myself-"
"That had better be a joke." I crossed my arms. "Stop it. I helped you because I needed to, because I…I should have known." I cleared my throat. "I should have known it was getting thin just by looking at it. It was my fault, all right?"
"Don't you ever get tired of this, Dean?!" Levi was exasperated. "I'm the one who cuffs myself to that damn pole every night, so if anyone should have known it was getting thin, it would have been me. Don't you ever get tired of taking care of everybody in this goddamn camper, why don't you ever think for yourself for once? Why are you even here?"
His words had stung, like he'd reached over and slapped me. I was looking at his profile as he kept his eyes glued to the road, blinking in disbelief. "What are you-" I began, only to have him interrupt me.
"You're normal." Levi began exasperatedly. "You're a normal person and you could damn well have the perfect life and you're throwing it all away for us. You clean us all up and pick us back up and-" His voice had begun to warble, his words were watery and his vocal chords trembled. My heart sunk down to my stomach. He blinked and cleared his throat, and this time when he spoke up most of his awful, red-hot anger had left his voice weary and hollowed out. "Don't you ever get tired of it? Being stuck here, with us, taking care of all of us and our Projector problems. You never even look out for yourself. So, why are you even here? Why can't you just leave?"
"I would never leave." I practically growled.
"Why?" He insisted again, and his lips parted just slightly as if to say something else but then he changed his mind and closed them.
"You act like you don't know me, Lev!" I replied. "What is there to go home to? Dad and his new family? What would I even do? I spent all my life training for something I'd rather die than go back to- and I could never…you understand, I could never leave you or my little brother-"
"Do you even like me, Dean? As a person?" Levi whispered in a husky voice, his eyes trained straight ahead on the road and that far-off car's red eyes, little pinpricks staring back at us. At the quick pass of the next amber streetlamp I could see the glimmering of tears floating unshed at the cusp of his bottom lids.
"Come on, man." I replied, my hushed voice almost drowned out by the faint sound of air rushing by over the exterior of the car. "We've had each others backs since grade school. Of course I do." I crossed my arms tightly over myself, wondering why in the world he'd even had to ask. Had I said something to him recently? "You already knew that."
He sighed shakily. "Why?" His fingers flexed nervously along the steering wheel once again, like a cat's.
"Oh- don't be an ass," I smiled wearily at him. "If you think I secretly hate you all and that I'm going to slink off some random night and leave forever, well, I don't know who you think you've known all these years but it ain't me."
He ran one hand through his copper hair, flashing the tattoo on the underbelly of his forearm that was so ridiculous that it had to be my favorite by default; it was a striped tabby cat floating amongst stars and planets, and underneath it was 'You're meowta this world!'
"The three of you are all I have in the world." Levi began. "And I know I got a problem that's not ever going away. I'm just paranoid that… that one day you'll realize just how long I'll have this problem for, and, I-I don't know-"
"I know what I've signed up for here, Lev." I was quick to interrupt him. "Don't think this changes anything."
The car way up ahead made a turn, and now the road was nothing but a dark line ahead. "I…I need to ask you something, then." He began, wetting his lips carefully. "If I ever get like that, and you know it's permanent, that I'll never wake up- I don't want to live like…like that, Dean, do you understand?"
"Lev-" I began.
"No, Dean. Do you understand me?"
I finally nodded, struck dumb. What a peculiar thing to ask, but I agreed.
"All right," He sighed, a big old hurmphh. "Okay, then."
"I can't believe you had to ask if we're friends," I poked a bit of fun at him. "Dumbass."
"Shut up," He pretended to grumble as he hid a laugh underneath, uncannily similar to how Sammy did it sometimes. I kicked my feet up on the dash once again and leaned back into the plush chair, I closed my eyes and sighed, just feeling the rumble of the car's engine. Moments like these, we didn't need to talk. Dreams of our antiseptic stockpile, the amount of bandages in our first aid kit, and replays of tugging each stich that I put in his arm danced around in my head. Maybe he didn't get that me taking care of everyone- it wasn't because I always wanted to. It was my hardwiring, it was down in my core. It wasn't long before I was nodding off to sleep.
"Are you sure this is the address they gave you?" Kara asked, squinting at the address in the bright morning light that I'd scribbled down on the pad of yellow lined paper and then lifted her head up again to look at the building. "I mean, your handwriting is terrible-"
"Hey!," I shot back. Well, it was kind of bad.
" You're sure this is it, though?" Kara shrugged and flicked her button-black eyes over to the ramshackle building again.
I was sitting in the passenger's seat next to Levi, who had been driving as usual. Levi also furrowed his copper eyebrows at the run-down building in front of us. It looked like no one had lived in it for years: creeping vines were wildly overgrown, even thriving on the screening over the windows that were shut tight. Dead leaves and decaying organic matter looked a foot deep on the ground. There was no definite path to show that someone was walking to and from the house even if someone was crazy enough to actually live there.
I shrugged, tugging at the clerical collar that suddenly felt too tight pressed up to my throat. "I'm positive this was the address, guys. Either we go inside, or we can just leave and forget it."
"Fine." Kara replied. "Let's go."
"So?" I asked. "Lev, are you in? Sammy, that's not a question for you. You're staying here. "
"Fine," Sam groaned and rolled his eyes. We've had set ups before; twice, actually. The first time a woman had seen some 'Wanted' signs and recruited her husband to help her try and catch us to get the money reward. She'd tried to single-handedly capture us in a very sloppily executed plan. I'd actually probably count that pathetic attempt as half a set up, really. We left those two pumped full of enough sedatives to knock out a horse.
The second time was around nine months ago and Sam bore the brunt of it. He'd been the one who'd been pulled away to be used as a human shield by the lunatic. He'd been some kind of fanatic who was obsessed with Projectors, and not in a good way. In the 'they're-the-filth-of-the-Earth, human-demon, vilest creatures' kind of way. He'd heard from a few friends what our exorcisms had looked like, and he'd decided to call us to get over there (that's when we changed up the policy and didn't let anyone stay in the room with us anymore). He'd wanted to kill the three of them off just for sport, like he was singlehandedly purifying the world. It still made me angry just to think about it.
When we'd shot him, Sam had been the one to scrub blood and brains off his face. He'd thrown up a few times. He actually doesn't remember the event too clearly, I guess his brain figured it was better to repress it. He'd been a nervous wreck for a while. But, in this line of business when he'd had to sift through so much of other people's crap, they bounced back fast.
Sam was nervously playing with his hands again, wringing them in his. "-But I have a bad feeling about this. And I'm not just saying that because I'm not allowed to come."
"Maybe they didn't want to move the patient?" Levi wondered aloud as he opened his driver's door and stepped out, stretching. "Okay, let's get this over with." He tugged his sleeves down all the way so no one could notice his bandages.
"I'll just wait here!" Sam called to us in annoyance as the three of us walked up to the front door. "Don't mind me, I'm just the family dog!" He slumped down in the passengers seat, his arms crossed over his chest. "Pffft. My soul's fine." He looked at the window, that was patronizingly cracked, and he sighed and grumbled a bit more.
I actually saw a few flakes of white paint flutter down as I knocked on the old door, and I brushed off the little white specks that had stuck to the itchy new skin of my healing knuckles.
I heard a deadbolt sliding around from the door inside, and I swallowed. But everyone deserved to have our help, even if they didn't have much of a bonus to offer. It all balanced out eventually, like that bonus we'd once gotten ten thousand dollars for curing the suicidal daughter of a very wealthy politician.
I felt like this stupid collar was choking me, and I hooked two fingers inside and slid them back and forth, trying to get a little more breathing room. That's odd, I thought. It's never been this uncomfortable before. Maybe I'd grabbed one of our smaller sizes on accident. But it's not like Kara's would even fit me in the first place, right?
Shit, the door was swinging open.
The man was...well, he actually didn't look too bad. He kind of had a friendly face, with messy brown hair, deep green eyes, and a bulby little nose. He looked mid-thirties.
"Oh, thank you. Here, right this way." He opened the door and beckoned us inside. "She's sleeping, now. I gave her a few sleeping pills like you suggested."
My damn collar was bugging me like nothing else, an itching beneath my skin that felt different from a few nights ago when Levi had hurt himself. It was less pressing, but still there. A looming discomfort that just wouldn't go away.
I watched the three projectors after our holy water and sage routines and after the man was escorted out, like I always did. But something felt wrong this time. I slipped those two fingers between my neck and collar again, and I was that hot-but-not-sweating that made chills run down my warm body. Maybe I was just psyching myself out. I mean, this creepy house was enough to put anyone on edge, right? But then again, even Levi's mother's house had never made me feel this unsettled.
I jumped in my seat as I heard the door squeal open. My hand jumped to the blade I kept in a sheath in my belt, underneath all these black clothes. I pressed onto its shape, just making sure it was there to reassure me.
"Funny." The man said. "I've never seen an Exorcism like this before." He had a glint of malice in his frog-green eyes. He was hiding a hand behind his back, and my mind automatically flitted to the worst.
I tensed up and my fingers curled along the sides of the chair I was sitting in. I had no idea what this guy wanted from us. "We..."
"Oh, I know exactly what you are." His smug smile was very irritating in how proud he seemed of himself. He was pulling out whatever was behind his back- goddammit, it was a gun.
I reached over and placed my hand on Levi's head beside me, rubbing the short copper locks softly back and forth.
Wake up. Oh, please wake up.
"She's in a coma. Has been for years, ever since she was sixteen and in a car wreck. Can you imagine that, braindead for upwards of ten years? But, the family had a firm no-pulling-the-plug policy, so what's a guy going to do."
"What do you want?" I accidently tugged hard on Levi's hairs as my hands clenched into fists.
"Don't you know? Everybody wants you dead." His voice was low and I was trembling already.
"Liar." I snarled. Another thing I knew for a fact couldn't possibly be true. "You would have done it already. You want us alive."
Kara stirred, and I felt my heart leap up to my throat. I saw her eyelids flutter all the way open, and then snap shut quickly once again. Her clasped hands twitched. She was awake, and now I just had to stall for a little bit longer.
"You ever think that we're actually doing some good? Would could cure her!" I insisted, making sure to be extra loud to try and wake the two Projectors up fully. Thank God Sam wasn't here.
"I want nothing to do with monsters like you. Or anything you've touched." The man replied acidly.
The next moment happened very fast: Kara whirled around and slammed him full force into the opposite wall. His gun fired and I flinched away. Things went too fast for the full panic to actually hit me. She then pinned the arm he held the gun in against the wall, twisting one of his fingers swiftly in a way that had him yelp out in pain and drop the heavy gun to the floor with a clatter.
"You broke my finger!" The man gasped in pain and surprise.
There was a moment of disconnect as I blinked up at Kara and the man she had under her knife, pinned against the wall. This girl was a fucking Godsend.
Okay.
So, I was alive.
That was good.
The next thing I concluded was that I think he missed. No, I take that back. Not entirely.
I looked at my arm, which had a very clean diagonal streak tearing through the fabric of my sleeve to expose the skin of my arm. Bright red was welling up out of the perfectly straight wound and dripping thickly down in several places like a line of messy spray paint. I swiped a dribble of blood so it wouldn't drip all the way down my arm and I rolled the sticky red liquid in my fingers. Weird, I literally felt no pain at the moment. I swiped a little more of the blood away that had quickly welled out again.
Oh, nope. There it is.
Yup. Okay, wow, that hurt like a bitch now.
I watched in amazement, now clamping my hand firmly over my stinging arm, as Kara shoved the much older and much taller man up against the wall, a very sharp blade already poking at his ribs. The man was gasping in pain, red beginning to wick into his fabric and stain his shirt, blooming like some kind of stain flower. "Make one move and I'll fucking gut you." Kara's voice couldn't get very low in tone, but damn did she know how to sound intimidating.
"Go to hell." The man wheezed.
"You want me to go deeper?" Kara lifted her elbow and positioned her arm like she was ready to run him right through. "Now tell me, are your people on the way?"
The man didn't answer her at first, he locked his jaw and narrowed his eyes at her.
"I asked-" The man let out a yelp of pain, quickly followed by a deep gasp. His eyes flicked desperately away from hers. "-if your people are on the way to come and take us away."
"They were awaiting my signal." He said gruffly.
"And did you give it to them?" She spoke solely through her gritted teeth. She shoved again and-
"-Yes!" He yelped, gasping for air. "Don't kill me! Please, don't kill me!" He begged, squealing like a pig. It was pathetic, really- at least all of the men I'd managed to kill had gone with a shred of dignity.
"We have to go. Now." Kara commanded, nodding to Levi. "Get him up. He's groggy, but he should be able to walk."
In that second, I made a decision. "Bring him to the car, and I'll take care of this." I said.
A flash of realization went across Kara's features. I knew she'd suspected me of something, she knew much more than Sam knew. She was observant, always had been since we'd first picked her up.
She hesitated. But she then beckoned for me to come over, to take over for her as she helped Levi out to the car, looping one of his thick arms to loop over her shoulders.
"We didn't get it-stop, we didn't solve it…" He mumbled, but let her lead anyway.
The fear in the man's eyes was pure, he didn't try to mask it even for a second. He'd heard of me. He had underestimated Kara, but he had heard of me and my potential. He was terrified.
I gripped my hand on the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of hair and wordlessly tugging, hard, so his neck stretched to be perfected exposed for me.
"Please, no, please…" He grunted through his strained windpipe.
I tugged the knife out from where it had been jabbed into his ribcage.
I could feel the coward shaking like a leaf, yet I couldn't bring myself to feel bad for him. He wanted to kill us first, when we came in here to help somebody. I brought the knife into position. It was over with just one slash, straight across, hitting the arteries on both sides of his throat.
I let him fall to the floor, choking, hands flying to try and press down on his throat. The look in his eyes showed he knew he was done for. A drop of my own blood splattered to the ground from my arm, one drop compared to an ocean. I win.
Kara drove, and Sam helped to clean and dress my arm with some bandages. At first he had been overly excited, rattling out question after question, but after he'd realized this wasn't exciting, this was just like when he'd had brains and gore sprayed on his cheeks which he could just barely remember, he grew a bit paler and shut his mouth tight.
No one wanted to talk much. We'd pulled off to the side of the road in some kind of mountainous area in Oregon when it got too long to stay in this camper anymore. It was just beginning to fade of all light by the time we got all our firewood together and huddled around the campfire, the van never too far away in case we needed a quick getaway. That was life on the run, and you knew all the ropes after close to two years of it. It didn't mean I was anywhere close to used to it yet.
