A/N: Well I was SO close to finishing that I had to do it. I'm so happy everyone enjoyed the last chapter! I know it was evil to leave it like that but I just had to do it. Just call me Bruno LOL but I think this chapter will make up for it ;)

Thanks to all my AMAZING anonymous reviewers I love you guys so much.


Chapter 9: You Catch a Glimpse of Sunlight, Shining Down on Your Face

Why did you do it?

People asked me that all of the time and I always gave them some lame answer about needing justice for the victims or that I believed in Jane. That was true but that wasn't reason. The reason was simple. Him. I loved him, I still love him and there was nothing I could ever do about it. I fell in love with that arrogant, jackass who lied, cheated and stole any time he wanted to, especially to me. The bastard broke my heart a million times and I just let him, I let him because then he would take my hand, call me a saint and smile and I'd just melt into a puddle of goo because I'm so damn pathetic.

I love him. I'll always love him and I don't know how to fix that? How do I move on when I have his baby, this beautiful little girl that looks so much like him? I gave him everything because of that stupid, stupid love. It's ridiculous, I hate it! Love is ridiculous because I threw away any principles and my job and any dignity I had left for a man who killed Red John and then freaking walked away!

I love him. I'll always love and that is why I did what I did.

I'm an idiot.

Excerpt from first draft of Tyger Tyger by Teresa Lisbon (unseen and unpublished)


Kate arrived at the country club early, before any of the wedding party while the event staff was still setting up flowers and ribbons. She glanced at the long white aisle and all of the beautiful flowers with some disdain. She wasn't sure how she would have felt about this wedding if Jane hadn't shown up again, probably with a lot more joy. But then he had and that started doubts, now that Teresa had slept with him instead of her fiancé clinched it. There was no way a woman should marry a man after sleeping with someone else, this marriage was doomed and the vows hadn't even been spoken yet.

She threw her dress over one chair that was covered in white cloth and tied with a silver bow and sighed. God this was going to suck, how the hell was she going to stand up there and pretend to be all happy when she knew what she did? She felt guilty for keeping this from Chris, he should know that his fiancé cheated on him and Teresa needed to realize that if she was in love with someone else then she needed to let Chris go.

The door opened and this time Kate was greeted by the unwelcome site of Chris's sister. "Are the flowers ready? Make sure they are the right shade of pink, if they are too dark then it will just be wrong."

Kate rolled her eyes; it was way too early to deal with someone like her. "There are worse things that could happen besides the wrong shade of flowers?"

Colleen gave her an annoyed look with her beady eyes. "This is not a joke, this is the most important day of my brother's life, it needs to be perfect."

"He's a guy, he doesn't care about the flowers either. As long as the cake tastes good and he doesn't trip down the aisle than he's good."

She dismissed Kate then with a disdainful glance before spotting the planner and getting into a rapid conversation about the set up. Apparently she didn't like that some of the sashes had too much silver in them. Kate visualized getting one of the sashes and strangling her, that made her smile for at least a minute.

Kate stood there uncertain what to do, or where to change for that matter, she figured it would be best to wait until more of the wedding party arrived before asking…that and she was afraid to get another rude look from Colleen. Thankfully the arrival of another bridesmaid saved her.

Grace looked a little tired and just as uncertain as Kate when she walked in, her garment bag containing her dress draped over her arm. Kate waved her over, "Get over here, just don't ask Colleen anything, you'll upset the dragon."

That made the other woman smile too and she looked over at the dragon with a bit of wariness. "Is Lisbon here yet?"

"No," Kate admitted, "Teresa is always a bit late though since she has to wrangle Dani and her niece."

Grace nodded but still looked a little upset. She leaned over and whispered to Kate. "Is this all a mistake?"

Kate's eyes widened as she recognized the implications. "You know she slept with Jane, don't you?"

She nodded. "I don't know how she can go through with it when she's in love with Jane."

Kate shrugged. "You were going to marry O'Laughlin while in love with Rigsby."

Grace blushed. "That was different, I didn't know I was still in love with Wayne."

"True," she admitted, "and Teresa certainly can't say that. Not when everyone and their mother has been telling her and she's admitted it herself."

Grace shook her head. "This is terrible, why would she even go through with it?"

"You know Teresa, she's so determined to get over him she'll do something incredibly stupid. She hid her feelings for him for ten years because she was scared, now she'll marry someone else for the same reason."

"If only Jane hadn't left five years ago," Grace said sadly.

Kate huffed. "If only they had had the guts to come clean about how much they loved each other fifteen years ago."

"Jane would have never done that," Grace told her, "not with Red John in the picture."

"I know, but it still sucks. That psychopath messed with their heads so much they've ruined their lives even after he's dead."

Grace nodded. "So what do we do?"

Kate sighed. "Smile and get drunk at the reception."


The pounding on his hotel room door startled Jane. He did have a brief moment of hope that was ruined when he saw it was Cho and Rigsby behind the door and not the woman he'd been brooding over all night.

"Are you drunk?" Cho asked.

"Nope," Jane admitted, "I tried but it didn't work."

"Good."

Jane didn't agree with that assessment at all. If he had managed to get drunk he would at least be passed out and not know that it was mere hours before Teresa Lisbon would be lost for him forever…or perhaps until her divorce. Either way she wouldn't be his and that was a thought that made him want to vomit.

He turned aside fall down onto the bed. "Have you come here for a reason or did you want to join me in misery?"

"We came to get you," Rigsby told him.

"For what?"

"So you can stop this wedding."

Jane opened his eyes to stare at them. "You came here to get me so that I could show up at her wedding and do the ridiculous cliché thing of running in shouting 'I object!'? You really think that is going to work?"

Rigsby looked embarrassed while Cho just shrugged. "It has a better shot than you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself."

He couldn't argue that but it didn't mean he was going to do it either. "Why are you even trying? You know I don't deserve her."

"No, you're an idiot. But so is she, you're perfect for each other."

Jane couldn't help but smile then. "I can agree with that."

"Then shower and get dressed."

He sat up. "She made her choice, I owe her to let her go through with it."

Now Rigsby started laughing. "You never cared about that before! You did whatever you wanted and then manipulated her to do the same."

"Thank you for putting it like that, did it ever occur to you that I'm trying a new thing of not manipulating her?"

"Maybe you shouldn't have slept with her then," Cho pointed out.

Jane gave him an annoyed look. "I did it, I poured my heart out to her and told her that she wouldn't be happy with anyone else. She said for me to leave her alone, she told me she was done."

Cho and Rigsby were quiet; they looked at one another exchanging looks. They didn't know what to do, that was obvious. Jane was sure he'd gotten them to see the problem he was facing. Until Cho asked. "Are you going to leave again?"

He stared at them, a little angry that he would ask that. "Of course not. I'm not going to leave my daughter."

"So you'll stay, you'll be around for the rest of her life," Cho said, "you'll be here and she loves you. You think that the marriage will last?"

Jane thought about it for a moment and shook his head. "No, Chris will catch on that she's indifferent to him since she'll be too focused on me."

"And then?"

He felt a little bit better at this scenario. "I'll be there, I'll try again to get her to see that we need to be together."

"So why not try now?" Cho asked. "You have nothing to lose."

Jane was quiet for a long moment as he considered everything that Cho had said. He would wait; he would wait for Lisbon forever if that was what it took. He would wait until this marriage imploded and he would be there to help her pick up those pieces and maybe get her to see that she should have been with him all along.

But he could try to keep her from that pain one more time.

"Let's do it," Jane announced, standing up from the bed. "Take me to the church."

"It's actually a country club," Rigsby said.

"I don't care."

Cho nodded. "Might want to put something on first, something other than your shirt and boxers."

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Jane skipped the shower but did choose to get dressed. Thankfully Rigsby drove fast and took them to the club where Jane jumped out of the car before the wheels had stopped rolling. He rushed to the building and burst through the doors, startling everyone inside.

"Jesus Christ," Kate said, "Can you try not to give us a heart attack?"

"Where is she?" Jane demanded.

"She's not here yet," Kate told him, "you'll have to wait before you pull your reenactment of The Graduate."

Rigsby started laughing and tried to cover it with a cough, Jane would have found Kate's witty comment amusing too if he wasn't so worried about losing the woman he loved to a marriage.

Another woman looked at him with loathing. "What are you doing here?"

"I assume you are with the groom," Jane said.

"My brother."

"Well, apologies to your family but it's a mistake for this wedding to take place."

Kate grabbed his arm. "Don't get into a fight with Colleen, she'll probably kick your ass."

"You think I care? I have to stop her, she's going to make a mistake and hurt everyone in the end."

"We know that!" Kate told him, "We all know that and you can try to stop it but she's made her choice. A stupid one but she'll do it. She'll marry Chris and we'll have to watch."

Jane was about to speak up but Kate's attention was caught as the door opened again. He turned and for a moment he thought it was her…until he saw it was actually Annie.

Annie was out of breath, wearing a pair of sweatpants and loose jacket, her car keys in her hand. "Where's Teresa?" Kate asked her, "is she behind you?"

She shook her head, still breathing heavily before she finally looked up to meet there eyes. Jane saw something there, something that had his heart pounding.

"What did she do?"


Six Hours Earlier

It was three in the morning when Lisbon pulled up outside of Chris's home. She banged on the door even if she did have a key; she needed to wake him up even if this was probably the worst possible way to talk to him. But it had to be done and she couldn't wait any longer. It took a few minutes before he came down, wearing his plaid sleep pants and old t-shirt; he blinked a few times when he saw her before letting her inside.

"Teresa? What are you doing here? Did something happen?"

She knew what she'd come there to do, knew what she needed to do but it wasn't easy finding a way to break a man's heart. "Oh God, Chris," she said and struggled to keep from crying. "I'm so messed up...you deserve so much better than me, than this."

Chris looked upset but like always, he tried to comfort her because he was and always had been a good man. "Hey, you know that isn't true. You're amazing and I'm lucky to have someone like you."

"Oh no you are not," she insisted, "I'm a screw up, I always did that. I fell in love with a broken man and let him use and abuse me…then waited for him for so long. None of that is what you should have to deal with."

"I know you are scared," Chris told her, "but you know none of that is true. You're just nervous about the wedding."

"We can't get married," She replied, tears in her eyes and starting to spill down her cheeks, "We can't."

"You're just having cold feet—."

"This isn't about the wedding," Lisbon insisted, "This is about everything, us, me. I can't be with you Chris, I've never been right for you because I'm…I'm broken." She looked away from him. "I thought I was better, I thought that I wanted to be with someone else because I was lonely, because I wanted to prove that I had moved on but pretending doesn't work, it just covers up the scars but it doesn't heal them."

Chris pulled on her shoulder, urging her to look at him. "You know that you are healing, that you are getting better."

"No, I'm not," She told him, "not when I spend my nights wearing Jane's shirt and trying to pretend like I don't miss him."

She watched as Chris paled a little but his eyes were still determined. "This is because he came back, it's confusing you."

"If he hadn't come back I wouldn't be here now," Lisbon admitted, "but that would be wrong because…because I'm not yours. I'm his, I've been his for fifteen years and I don't know if it is even possible to break that."

"Teresa—."

"I slept with him."

She couldn't have hurt him more if she'd slapped him. Chris took several steps back, completely stunned. He wasn't even angry yet just…shocked. Lisbon stared back at him with a finality that she wasn't entirely certain she felt. "Last week," she continued, "I was drunk, I went to tell him off and we just—."

"Stop," Chris told her, "I don't need to hear anymore."

Lisbon felt that guilt, how could she not. "I'm sorry," she said honestly, "I am. I never intended to hurt you, I know that's the cliché thing to say but it's true."

"If you loved him all along then why did you even try?"

"Because I wanted to believe I'd stopped," she explained, "I thought moving on meant moving on without him but now I know that that isn't possible. He's the father of my child, he's the only man I've ever truly loved and we…we never really even got to be real, I never got what I wanted and needed from him so it's always been incomplete. He took a part of me that I can't get back and I can't go on without. I'm not good for anyone else and I'm definitely not good for you."

They stood there for a long time, completely silent as Chris took in her words. She knew he was focusing on the part that hurt him the most: she'd cheated on him. Lisbon couldn't blame him, if he wanted to hate her then that was fine. She deserved any amount of hatred from him. He crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat. "So—so what now?"

Lisbon brushed a tear away from her eye and sighed. "We go on and you find someone who can love you the way you should be loved."

"And you?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "But that isn't your problem anymore is it?"

Chris shook his head. "No, I guess not."

She saw the anger there and felt gratified, if he was angry than that was good, it would help him, push him towards the right path. He could yell and curse her and tell his family what a terrible person she was. She didn't care. As long as he found someone who deserved him, as long as he found someone who made him happy. Lisbon was certain that he would, he was just that kind of man.

With a heavy sigh, she reached over the gently slip her engagement ring into his hand with a sad soft smile. "Goodbye, Chris."

She didn't look at him again, not as she walked out the door and away from him. There would be phone calls, matters to discuss about the wedding, the gifts. None of that truly mattered to her though; she'd done the right thing and let him go.

Now she would face her future the way she should have: alone.


Annie finished explaining what had happened with a grudging, "She woke me up at six in the morning to tell me that. Said I needed to get down to the church to tell everyone. I have to call my dad and uncles too."

Kate stepped away to grab her cell phone while Jane simply stared at the young woman. "She canceled the wedding. She did it."

"Yes," Annie repeated, "she called it off and now she has entrusted me to tell everyone. Apparently canceling the wedding is enough for her, we have to take care of the other stuff that they don't tell you about in those stupid movies."

"She just made a tough decision," Grace reminded her, "she's allowed to take some time to be alone."

Kate walked back over looking just as concerned. "She's not answering her phone. It's going to straight to voicemail."

"Like I said, she's flaking out," Annie muttered and then eyed Colleen who was also on her phone and looking rather frustrated herself. "Uh oh, looks like Chris finally started calling people too."

They watched as Colleen hung up the phone and pointed an accusing finger at Jane. "You did this! This is your fault!"

Jane simply smiled. "I'm sure Lisbon deserves most of the credit but I'll take some of the blame."

"Do you have any idea how much work I put into this wedding?"

"It's not your wedding," Jane reminded her, "shouldn't that be a warning sign that the bride wasn't involved at all, truly it was rather obvious to everyone that she wasn't in love with the groom."

Colleen actually lunged at him like a deranged mad woman while Jane actually jumped back. Rigsby and Cho acted quickly like old times, holding her back to keep their friend from being hurt. Annie was grinning throughout the whole kerfuffle. "God I can't wait to be a cop, I hope I have to work with someone just like you."

Jane laughed and shook his head. "Be careful what you wish for."

"Don't worry about me, I'll just shoot him if he gets on my nerves."

That made several of them start to laugh, Jane included. Honestly he was looking forward to Annie going into Law Enforcement, there couldn't be enough Lisbons with a badge and he had a feeling that Annie would be quite an interesting cop.

"I still can't get a hold of Teresa," Kate declared, "It's like she's dropped off the face of the earth."

"I know where she is," Jane declared, he then headed straight for the door and disappeared with everyone else watching him.

"Was he going to tell us?" Kate wondered.

"Nope," Annie said, "Did he drive here?"

"No," Rigsby said, "I did."

She smirked. "You won't be driving back."

Sure enough when Rigsby checked his pockets his car keys were missing. Some things hadn't changed a bit.


The waves were calm that morning but the sun wasn't battling the clouds so it was nice and hot, the perfect way to spend time out on the sand. Lisbon was settled on her beach towel underneath her hat and wearing Jane's shirt over her swimsuit while Dani played at the water's edge. "Look, Mommy!" she shouted as she held up a big shell that had been deposited near her feet.

Lisbon smiled and nodded back to her daughter, the sunglasses were good for hiding the sadness and circles under her eyes. Dani kept asking when they would leave for the wedding but Lisbon kept on putting it off with a lie. She didn't know how to tell her daughter that Chris wouldn't be coming here, that she probably wouldn't see him again.

Still she didn't regret it, just wished she hadn't gotten her daughter's hopes up. Her little girl would have to grow up with some uncertainty but with a mother who was entirely devoted for her. That had to count for something.

Dani looked up from where she was digging in the wet sand with her shovel when she gasped. "Daddy!"

She discarded her shovel and raced across the sand, Lisbon turned in time to see Dani jump into her father's arms. He smiled like this was the only thing in the world that mattered to him and kissed her head. She saw him say something in Dani's ear before setting her down, Dani hurried back over to the water.

Lisbon turned back to look out at the water while Jane stepped over. "I went to a wedding this morning."

She didn't react even though she was bursting with questions. "How was it?"

Jane sat down next to her, his arm brushing against hers. "Pretty short, I did almost get attacked by the groom's sister."

Now she did smile. "Colleen is something to be afraid of."

"I noticed," Jane told her, "good thing Rigsby and Cho were there to keep her from biting my head off like a preying mantis."

She could see Colleen like that quite easily. "Well it's a good thing they were there," she met Jane's eye, still wearing her sunglasses. "Dani likes it that her father's head is still on his shoulders."

"What about her mother?"

Lisbon turned away again, looking towards the rolling ocean. "It doesn't matter what her mother wants, the only thing that does matter is Dani.

"Teresa," Jane said, he put a hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at him again. This time he plucked the glasses from her eyes so that she couldn't hide behind the frames now. "You canceled the wedding."

She blushed and nodded her head. "You were right, I would have hurt him even more in the end if I'd gone through with it."

Jane studied her for a moment and then reached up to toy with the collar of the shirt. "I remember this shirt. I remember how I lost it too." She turned a darker shade of red, mostly at the implication of his words. He continued to play with the fabric, feeling a hint of the heat of her skin underneath his fingertips. "What now?"

Lisbon looked away again. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I'm going to go on," She told him, "I'll go to work, I'll come home, I'll raise Dani and probably my niece. And…and I'll just learn to live like this."

"Like what?" Jane asked, now confused because she seemed to be leaving out an important part.

She sighed. "Broken."

Jane put his hand on her arm. "You don't have to be broken, Teresa."

Lisbon shook her head. "I don't know how to fix this, Patrick. I want you to be in Dani's life and if you stay…then that is wonderful but I…I can't be second anymore. I've been second for my entire life and I can't do that anymore. You can stay for Dani but…but I need you to stay for me too."

Jane was quiet for a long time. They both didn't look at one another, instead watching the waves rolled in one at a time. Their little girl was walking along the shore, sometimes bending down to look at something. Her dark skin and blond curls bequeathed by her father, those sparkling green eyes from her mother.

"I can stay for Dani and you," Jane said, finally breaking the silence. "I came here for you."

Lisbon shook her head. "No you came here for her."

"Teresa, I didn't even know my daughter existed when I came here," Jane reminded her, "I came here when Cho told me that you were getting married. He didn't tell me about Dani."

Lisbon thought back and remembered what happened when Jane first showed up. "But you were going to leave…"

"I was going to go back to my hotel room and probably drink a bit," Jane admitted, "But I wasn't going to give up on us. You and I both know I don't give up when it is something I truly want."

"You didn't want me."

"I've always wanted you."

She met his eyes. "You left me, you told me you couldn't be with me and you walked away."

"And hated the past five years of my life. The only good thing I've done is when I'm with you, when I'm with our child. I can't run away again and I can't just be with Dani…because I need you just as much as I need her. I figured that out when I thought I was going to lose you to another man, long before I found out you were the mother of my child."

He looked deep into her eyes. "Give us a chance. A real chance, the one you and I never took. Let's try to be something real and maybe…maybe we'll stop wanting the past and actually start looking towards the future." Jane reached over to take her hand in his. "Please say yes."

Lisbon looked down at his hand and saw that there was something different: his ring was gone. She stared at the bare finger for a long moment, debating the options, the pain, the heartache and the risks. But God help her if she didn't want to take them.

"Okay," she told him with a smile. "We can try moving on together…instead of apart. It might actually work this time."

Jane grinned and nodded. "I think we have a fair shot."

He leaned over slowly to press a kiss to her lips and she accepted, sealing their decision with that act of love they both felt. She smiled, feeling a bit of lightening in her heart…a weight of her shoulders she'd been carrying for so long.

They didn't have long to revel in their newfound joy as it was interrupted by their daughter jumping into his lap. But they laughed and took at just another part of their lives. Their family.


A/N: Believe it or not that final scene was the first one I had planned hehehe. Click next for the Afterward!