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"But Will, we already knew much of this about Jack…"
"Yes, but did we really know how deeply Jack was affected? Did we really know just how alone he has been almost all of his life, and how badly he has been treated? I was an orphan, but I was not spit upon and beaten bloody…"
"… a slave, Will. Jack was a slave just because of his race… his freedom was taken from him so he took back his freedom with a vengeance, and shook his fist in the face of all authority."
"But at what price, Elizabeth? Jack's freedom is the most important thing to him… but he has isolated himself, especially in the ten years after he was mutineed upon… and has tried to accept the loneliness. He turned his back on the world the night that he was branded a pirate..."
The story of the Black Pearl and the mutiny was canon among those that knew Captain Jack Sparrow. What was little known were the smaller memories in Jack's heart that affected the Turners - the ones that the captain held dear and buried the deepest inside of himself. The ones that opposed the Jack Sparrow that the captain wanted the rest of the world to see. Will and Elizabeth knew that behind legend was a man who was more human than anyone that either of them had ever known.
There was the dark story of how Jack acquired the two gunshot wounds on the right side of his chest. "Jack was a very young man, maybe 17, and he was actually caught stealing. He took two rounds to the chest in running away, but was still able to escape and hide in some kind of barn. He was found by someone, I couldn't tell who. I only saw bits and pieces of this vision. I saw my father… he was digging one of the rounds out of Jack's chest with the very dagger that I have now. I know one thing for certain and don't ask me how I know… he still has one of the rounds imbedded in his chest… we have to be mindful of that, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth gasped, "What? He could develop pneumonia!" She got up and impulsively tucked the numerous blankets under the unconscious captain's chin. Will's mouth turned up slightly, watching her fuss. Jack would have loved that.
Jack had told them once that he acquired some of his gold teeth after his original ones were knocked out in a fight with a jealous husband. Will smilingly told Elizabeth that Jack was lying about that one, too. They were really knocked out on the side of the ship when he got drunk and fell overboard. He used some of his gold swag from the most recent raid to replace those four teeth. "He told the others that he rued not being able to spend the gold, but it looked pretty damned good where it ended up!"
"I like that story better," Elizabeth smiled, "It actually fits him better…he rarely gets into fights… I know that Jack is stronger than he looks, but he always tries to outwit his opponent."
"…or cheat in a swordfight," Will said dryly.
There was also the tale about out designing his own tattoos - he was quite proud of the one of the flying sparrow. He had even designed one for his friend, Bill… a dagger with a beautiful sea serpent twined around it, along with "Mary", the name of Bill's wife and Will's mother - the design was of the very dagger that Bill carried at all times, and that he had given to his son before Will's first escape from the Flying Dutchman.
"… one of my favorite possessions was a beautiful little carved teakwood whale that my father had brought to me when I was born. My mother kept it up on a shelf so that I could not play with it unless she was there - it was a work of art, and I loved running my hands over it. It was highly polished and of exquisite craftsmanship. It inspired me to try my hand at a more artful craft when I apprenticed as a blacksmith, and I applied myself to making beautiful swords."
Elizabeth smiled, "Then you and your cousin are both artists. What happened to the whale?"
"It went down with my few belongings when the ship I was crossing on was sunk by Barbossa and the cursed crew of the Black Pearl - when I was picked up by the Dauntless. I wish that I had it now… I was told by my mother that it was carved by a friend of my father's… I saw in one of the visions just who carved the figure, because he presented it to my father as he was leaving the ship to come see me…'I carved this for your little baby whelp', he said… he had long, wild dark hair and a red bandana…" Will laughed softly.
My father said, "Maybe you should keep it for one of your own whelps someday." And the other said, "Nah, I shall have no whelps… besides, I am only 14, and have too many years ahead o' me to think o' settlin' down."
"Jack! He made your teakwood whale???"
"Yes… Jack. He was 14 when I was born… and that makes him about 36 years old." Will smiled. " I truly wish that I still had that whale."
"Perhaps he can carve another one for you." Elizabeth reached over and curled one hand around Will's hand. She took up Jack's still hand in her other...they fell into silence for a while.
".. Elizabeth?"
"… yes?"
"… do you know what a broken heart actually feels like?" Will's voice was no more than a whisper, as he once again took up a wet cloth and carefully washed Jack's bruised face again. Jack had stirred a little, but was not awake. In his fever, he had been muttering in Gaelic, and the couple had heard Will's name several times - Will busied himself; many of the small bandaged wounds on one arm had started to bleed through when Jack had weakly thrown his arm out against the cabin wall, and so it was necessary to redress the wounds with clean bandages.
Elizabeth pondered Will's question with no small amount of guilt. "I thought that I would have my heart broken if I knew that I had broken yours beyond repair…" she replied quietly, "… and I know that I broke James Norrington's." She paused. "Did I break Jack's…?"
"Yes, but not in the way that you might think…"
Elizabeth could not look at Will. He reached over and put his hand under her chin, and raised her face to look at him. "We all broke his heart…."
"I saw Jack bartering with Davy Jones in one of my visions - did you know that we thought that he tricked me onto the Flying Dutchman to find the key only for his purposes, yet he tried to bargain me back once he knew that Jones wanted more? He sent me, yes, to find the key - I had accepted the challenge - but I had not told him my true purpose, that I had an accord with Cutler Beckett. In turn, I also had not told Beckett how close I was to Jack… I tried to play things 'close to the vest', as Jack would. I knew that Beckett had something against Jack and thought that Jack wouldn't help me if he knew Beckett was behind it. I told Jack very little, yet he agreed to give me his magic compass to free you, if I would help him to find the key to the chest of Davy Jones.
'Once Jack and Davy were face to face, Jack, in his own baffling way, was trying to come up with a plan to benefit us, as well as himself. Jack could not set foot on the Dutchman, obviously - I had no debt to pay, so even though he didn't really warn me of what I was going into, it made sense. We have to remember that Jack's mind is much different than ours… he not afraid of the things that we are afraid of, and so it especially made sense to him.'
'He had faith that I would find the key and he also had faith that I could take care of myself… he has always had faith in me. He knew I would actually be away from the Kraken on the Dutchman. He also knew I would find my father there. He tried to barter me back twice, and Jones didn't go for it, knowing that we were friends and that it would hurt Jack more to keep me.
'Jack told Jones that he was good with it, but wasn't. He knew that he had to leave me behind, which was not what he intended. I saw the whole thing. Jones did something to Jack's mind when he removed the Black Spot. He told Gibbs that he felt sullied and unusual… I think that Jack's mind has suffered…. He tried to get me back, but failed… I didn't know that…I was desperate, but Jack was more desperate, and was able to hide it. They headed for Tortuga to try to come up with something. He didn't want to abandon me…. I..I didn't know."
"But Will, you and Jack bear no ill feelings toward each other after the two of you fought together, again, on the same side in the Orient. We put it all behind us - it was all a huge misunderstanding!"
"… Aye, but it hurt him when you and I turned against him so much. He accepted it, though, and tried to tell himself that it was better that way, because he was running scared. Funny thing is that Jack drives the ones that he cares for away from himself, deliberately…we thought he was only out for himself, and that's what he wanted us to think…even though it meant causing himself pain."
Elizabeth did not want to hear it, but Will made her listen. "Jack cares about us… but he does not feel that he deserves to have us care for him. He would rather drive us away… he feels like he is somehow not worthy of us - in spite of all of his self confidence, bravado and his ability to hide his feelings, he craves love, but runs from it."
"… I watched much of what happened recently like I was watching a play, Elizabeth, except that I was feeling his pain! He thought if he could control the heart of Davy Jones, he could control the Kraken, the sea, everything… it would have been for the benefit of us all, but none of us would have seen it that way because it was Jack, the selfish pirate, not the good man. He didn't try to explain what he was thinking; he was acting so strangely that neither of us would have understood him or believed him, anyway.
'Strange, considering what he said on Isla Cruces about telling the truth - he does it quite often and no one believes him. And I was angry enough at him to say, 'with good reason'… when I stop to think that the reason that we were all in this was because I went to him in the jail, in the first place, the day after Barbossa took you! It was me that enlisted his help to save you, and he had already saved you once, to start with, when he pulled you out of Port Royal Bay! It all comes back to us. Jack was minding his own business, trying to get his ship back. I went to him with a proposition that would profit us both, though I didn't know it at the time. Now I know how naive I've been," Will's face was becoming more and more sad.
"On Isla Cruces," Will continued quietly, "I angrily accused Jack of not keeping promises. What promise was I accusing him of not keeping? He had only promised to trade the compass to me if I helped him to find the key, nothing more, but yet he was trying hard to come up with something to put a stop to the madness for all of us. He never lied to me about Jones. He only told me what he felt I needed to know…but I had done the same thing about my deal with Beckett. I was no better a man than what I was accusing Jack of being.'
'Deep down inside, he wanted to get his hands on the heart to take control and profit us all. He took you onto the Pearl in Tortuga because you could make the compass work in order to find the key, to find me, and to find the heart that could solve all of our problems. He kept you safe, when he could have left you on Tortuga. Yes, I know that the two of you flirted," Will smiled earnestly, as Elizabeth's face reddened, 'but the two of you always have... we are married, and you still do it all the time. Pirates...'
Will paused, then continued. "Once I was on Isla Cruces and knew that you were out of Port Royal and safe, I changed my mind about trading the key for the compass. I was angry at Jack, and blamed him for everything that was wrong in our world. I broke my accord with Beckett, I broke my accord with Jack. I'm a fine one to accuse him of anything. I'm no better."
" ... I was angry that Jack left me to fight with James Norrington, but I can understand, now, that Jack knew that I was a better swordsman and he had the utmost confidence that you and I would end up back at the longboat... it never once crossed his mind that we wouldn't! After Jack got his hands on the heart in the jungle and we caught up with him at the longboat, he finally knocked me out with an oar to keep me from getting possession of it and messing everything up for all of us! He made sure that I was dumped into the long boat and brought back to the Pearl... He could have left both of us on Isla Cruces to fend for ourselves."
"Jack tried to bargain with Jones again, for all of us, until he realized that he didn't have the heart, after all - Norrington had it. When the Kraken attacked, he tried to get back to the island. You thought he was being a coward, but he was going to hunt down Norrington and get the heart back to take control, then he realized that it was far too late. He came back to help his mates, and try to save his Pearl. Once he knew it was over… that he knew that he had lost and that he was going to die… that he was going to go down with his ship … there was that kiss… shackles… and the mast…"
Elizabeth clung to Jack's hand and started to cry… shackles, again.
"… I now know that what you did was to save our love, but I watched what happened to him. I felt his heart literally break in two as he watched you - all of us - leave him behind. Abandoned again, after being 'the good man'. He tried to make things right in the end. All he has ever wanted was to live and be free, yet he was left completely alone to die, a prisoner on his own ship - a prisoner of his own desperate debt to Davy Jones. And then he turned and actually pulled free of the shackles, and fought the beast to his own death… he was truly scared, but he went down fighting.'
'I thought my heart had been broken, and for a time I thought that I hated Jack, but we all found out how unfounded that was - the two of you never loved each other - far from it. It was all our own insecurities - every one of us. I have been hurt, but was never truly abandoned like he has been so many, many times. We thought he was selfish… we judged someone who is not like us… We never knew him…we never understood him .… how many times has he been condemned because he has a conscience? Because he cared...?" Will buried his face in his hands.
Elizabeth laid her head on the bunk, and cried. Jack was truly one of the most mysterious, and misunderstood men who had ever lived, there were so many things that he didn't deserve. And he had just saved their lives, yet again. The captain was deathly quiet, not hearing the truth now spoken out loud, and not realizing that the young couple was now knowing what decency and honor had been hiding in his pirate heart, all along.
