Five Steps Back
AJ and Punk wound up in bed after endless hours in the kitchen. It was just as good as the first time, if not better from the awkward positions on the kitchen table. But the one thing AJ knew had definitely topped it, was that he had stayed with her, and she was curled into his naked body with her leg draped over him, his hands softly running up and down her arm.
"So about the porn." Punk said as AJ just laughed and rolled her eyes.
"We're still on that." She whispered.
"You watch it to just… watch it? Or do you watch it to, you know… get a jump start on things?" He asked, looking down at her as she smiled up at him.
"I don't just watch it for the good of my health." She said, "I think that would be weird."
"I thought porn was a guy thing." Punk admitted as AJ just rolled her eyes.
"It's a lonely thing. Nothing to do with gender." She said.
"When was the last time you were in a relationship or… had sex?" Punk asked, hoping it wasn't too forward, but they did lie naked together in her bed, they couldn't get any more personal if they tried.
"Last time I had sex was about… a year and a half ago." She said, "Last time I had a relationship was four years ago." She said, "I take it having a baby around made it a lot harder for you to get laid when you wanted to?"
"I disagree." Punk said, "She stayed with Dean once a week. He liked looking after her. And if I was hooking up with a girl they'd be good guys and take her for the night." Punk said, "But the look on some girls faces when you tell them you have a daughter… priceless." He said.
"Sounds like you were hooking up with the wrong type of girls." She said.
"Oh, I most definitely was." Punk said, "I've learned my lesson." He said, looking down at her, her cheek pressed in against his chest, her eyes closed yet she wasn't sleeping. It was the most relaxed he'd ever seen her, and it worried him. This was what she wanted. This was all she wanted. And he wanted her. There was no point in hiding it, "You look really beautiful." He whispered as she opened her eyes and looked up at him.
"I've not heard someone say that to me in a long time." She said quietly, looking up at him.
"You should be told that every day." He said, "Be with me, April." He said as she looked up without words to say, "Whether we only get to be together like this, or we're together properly. I really want to be with you. I don't care how."
"I want to be with you too." AJ whispered, "But my job… as long as I'm inclined to be your probation officer, I shouldn't be… I shouldn't be doing this." She said.
"Then no one has to know." Punk said as AJ just looked up at him and smiled. She would have been a fool to argue with him over it. There was no denying she wanted him too. She wanted him like this in her bed every night.
In response she sat up and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips as he smiled up at her. He was just insanely attracted to her it was ridiculous. Whether it be here, seeing her naked body on top of him, or in one of her little dresses she wore to work, or even in just her jeans and a t-shirt. He thought she was perfect, and she deserved someone to tell her she was.
"No one has to know." She whispered and nodded.
So what they had to keep things on the down low, it'd just be until she finished working with him. And even at that, secretly doing this was better than not doing it at all.
She leaned down and kissed him on the lips softly, trailing her kiss down his chest and down his body. His tattoo's made her all hot and bothered everytime she seen them. He wasn't the biggest of guys but he had all the muscles in all the right places, and just enough for her liking.
"You really wanna go for round two?" Punk smirked down at her as she began to stroke him up and down.
"I want nothing more." She said, using her mouth on him, bobbing her head up and down on him as he groaned at the feeling.
"Fuck." Punk moaned, "Just… just stay still." He asked, holding onto each side of her head, "Don't move." He whispered as she paused with her mouth in him, suddenly feeling him begin to thrust up into her mouth, occasionally hitting the back of her throat which caused her to gag a little, but nevertheless she let him do what he wanted.
"Fuck yeah!" Punk groaned, "Your mouth feels amazing." He moaned, nothing but the sound of wetness filling the room as he continued thrust into her mouth until he decided he wanted more and pulled out of her mouth, "Come sit on my dick." He said, pulling her up his body as she positioned herself over him, sinking down on his hard length and moaning.
"Fuck… Oh, Phil." She moaned pressing her hands on his chest firmly as she moved her hips up and down.
"You're so fucking tight." Punk groaned, "You're all mine." He chuckled as she smiled, leaning down and pressing her lips against his, suddenly feeling him grab each of her arms and hold them back as he began thrusting up into her hard and fast. She rested her forehead against his, her mouth wide open in shock of the depth his length was in and how wonderful it really felt.
"Oh my god." AJ moaned, almost crying as he pressed his lips up against hers.
"Too much?" He smirked up at her.
"N-No… no, keep going!" She moaned, "I'm gonna… I'm gonna cum." She moaned.
"Yeah? Go on then. Cum all over my dick." He laughed in her ear as she collapsed against him as he let her arms go, feeling her body collapse on his as he continued thrust into her, feeling her juices run down his length, pressing hot kisses into her neck as she moaned loudly, "Yeah, th'atta girl." He slapped her ass as she giggled, feeling him suddenly spin her around and thrust back into her as she lay on her back. She could have done this all day if she was allowed to. She was glad they'd cleared everything up. And she was super glad that they were going through with this. It would only be complicated if they made it complicated.
"Isn't it your day off today?" Carmella asked the next day, sitting in AJ's kitchen at the table whilst her friend made herself a sandwich.
"Yeah." AJ nodded, "But I'm helping Punk go buy new furniture for his apartment. He got his first pay cheque today." She smiled happily as Carmella just raised her eyebrows.
"So you're spending your day off with Punk?" Carmella asked as AJ nodded.
"We sort of… last night… again." She turned to her friend who just smiled.
"So much for not doing anything about it." Carmella said.
"Right on that table." She pointed as Carmella slid back on the chair away from the table.
"I've been eating here for the past half hour!" Carmella shrieked.
"I cleaned it this morning when he left." AJ rolled her eyes.
"So he stayed the night?" Carmella asked, standing up and tucking the chair back under the table, still not fond of sitting there anymore now that she knew what her friend got up to on it last night.
"The entire night." AJ nodded, "And we decided that we were just gonna keep things on the down low, until I'm finished being his probation officer." She said as Carmella smiled.
"So you two are gonna… it's a thing?" Carmella asked with a smile as AJ rolled her eyes, "I should totally find myself a date and we could double date, how fun would that be?" Carmella said as AJ just shook her head.
"Not fun at all." AJ said, "It's just lowkey for us just now." She said.
"Just lowkey, aka just sex?" Carmella said, "What about when you want to go on a date with him?"
"That'll just have to wait." AJ said.
"You sure it will work like that?" Carmella asked as AJ just nodded.
"No reason for it not to." AJ said.
"I could think of a lot." Carmella replied.
A few days later, Punk and AJ were headed back to the care centre to visit Joni. They had fell into a predictable pattern with one another. They would be together for most of the day whether it be AJ writing up his days at work, or helping him with things in his apartment. And then he'd come by later on to her house and they'd fall exhaustingly into each others arms, and he'd screw her until sunrise.
They took a seat at the normal table in the playroom where the kids all were, and Joni eventually made her way over to them, sitting across, resting her head on her hand as she stared at him blankly. Something about her seemed sad and he hated it.
"Hey, you ok?" Punk asked, "What's wrong?" He asked.
"My friend Tilly said you put me here because you didn't want me." She said, "And you'll put me back again." She said, looking across at him lifelessly.
"No… no, I didn't put you here because I didn't want you." He said, "I had to go away. I was taken away, and you had no where else to go. I would never have put you here, baby." Punk said, "And I won't ever put you in here. That's a promise."
"But all the kids here says their moms and dads don't want them." She said.
"Well then maybe that is the case for your friends, but not you. I love you." He put his hand on his chest, "And I would never have put you in here. I left you with your uncle Dean when I left, I wanted you with him, but he found it too hard to look after you, so you came here." Punk said, "You have people who love you, waiting for you outside of this building." He said.
"But this is where I live." She said innocently.
"But it's not a home, baby." He said, "You have a home waiting for you. I'm just about to start painting your room." He told her with a smile as she just stared at him blankly whilst AJ watched. She hoped he knew that there would be good days with Joni, and quite possibly bad days. The man was still somewhat a stranger to her, and he had to make sure he realised that.
"But this is my home." She shook her head. She didn't know any better.
"No it isn't." Punk said angrily without meaning it, "This isn't your home, Joni. This is a place kids go when they have no home." He said as AJ placed her hand on his lap, hoping he would calm down.
"Why are you always angry?" She asked as Punk frowned.
"I'm not… I'm just… I just miss you so much." He said, "And I want you to come home with me right now, and I know you can't, and it will take some time."
"I don't wanna live with someone who's angry." She shook her head as Punk sighed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"I wanna go." She stood up.
"No, wait… Joni." He leaned over to try grab her but she was already running away, leaving him sitting feeling helpless.
"She'll come around." AJ said, walking with Punk as they left the care centre.
"Does she resent me because she thinks I put here in there?" Punk sighed.
"I don't know what she thinks. She's a little girl. She'll be thinking all sorts of things. You just have to stay calm around her, take it real slow, it's the only way." She said.
"I have to focus on her." He said, "I can't… I can't be caught up in anything else." He shook his head, "I have to focus everything on her if I want to get her back."
"There's nothing else you can really do except show up at the visits and hope for the best."
"She deserves all my attention." He said as AJ just looked up at him suspiciously, watching him pause and turn around to her, "I know I said I wanted to be with you, and I wanted you… I do. But I can't put you before my daughter. I won't."
"I'm not asking you to." AJ shook her head.
"I have to focus on getting her back, and do right by her. I shouldn't be in your bed every night, I should be at my own place, buying my daughter things for when she comes home, doing her room up, making sure I have everything I need." He said as she just looked up at him.
"You can't do both?" She asked.
"I don't want her to think that I don't care." He said.
"Why would she think that?" She shook her head. She couldn't believe he was actually doing this. It'd barely been a week. They'd grown so used to being with one another, even if it was just at night. She loved having him in her bed, having him hold her the entire time, not to mention the sex was great. But of course he was shutting it down.
"I'm sorry." He said, "I just gotta-"
"Forget it." AJ just shook her head.
"Don't be like that. I just want to put my daughter first, you heard her in there, it's gonna take a lot for me to gain her trust again… you understand that, don't you?" He said.
"Yeah. I understand." AJ just nodded, she did understand what he was saying. She just didn't know why he said he wanted to be with her a few days ago if this was how he really felt? She didn't want to be messed around.
"I'm sorry." He said, "I just want to give her my everything."
"I get it." AJ said, "It was just sex anyway." She shrugged as he tilted his head.
"Yeah. Just sex." He stared at her, knowing she said it out of being hurt. They weren't just having sex. Both of them knew there was more there, "I'll uh… I'll walk you home-"
"No, you know what… I can walk home myself." She told him.
"It's getting dark I don't want-"
"I'll be fine." She said, "Goodnight." She whispered, her voice threatening to break with emotion as she walked away from him, folding her arms as she walked down the street and round the corner as Punk watched.
He hated that. But he had to focus on his daughter. He should never have told AJ he'd be with her. Even though it was the truth, and he wanted her like words couldn't describe. He just had to focus on getting his daughter back. Nothing meant more to him than she did.
A/N: Hopefully Punk stops messing AJ around! What do you guys think will happen next? REVIEW and let me know what you think.
