Mother: I just beat Dirge of Cerberus!

Vincent: So, I'm in it.

Mother: Me too.

Vincent: Oh, yeah. True.

-Hojo enters room laughing maniacally-

Hojy: I am also in DoC. Nwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Mother: -squee- I know.

-runs up to Hojo and hugs him-

Vinny: Can't I get a hug?

Mother: No. You all had to go and use your proto-materia and kill wittle Hojo-y-poo, here. And he's all, "Vincent, your old…" or something like that. And the whole game was an f---ing load.

Playstation 2: I like the game.

Vincent: How did you get in this conversation? You're not a computer.

PS2: Actually, I am a computer entertainment system. So I count.

Hojy: Lucrecia?

Mother: What is it?

-Hojo randomly turns into Weiss. Lucrecia then proceeds to hug him harder yelling "squee"-

Weiss: -still talking in Hojo's voice- Now I am much more powerful and cool looking.

Vincent: No you are not. You look like Cloud just with bigger hair…and no shirt.

Nero: I wuv you big brother.

Weiss: When did you get here?

Nero: I wuv you big brother.

Nero: I wuv you big brother.

Nero: I wuv you big brother.

-Vincent, getting annoyed, pulls out his Cerberus and kills Nero-

Grimoire: Now allow me to randomly jump out in front of nothing, hurt myself, and die…for no reason.

-he does so-

Mother: Nooooooo! I…I'm so sorry.

Vincent: God! How many times must you tell me that? I get it already.

Weiss: Now Vincent. You shall die for no reason.

-Vincent kills Weiss-

Mother: Why did you do that? I love Hojo. Once a scientist always a scientist: to the very end.

Vincent: But Hojo f---ed Reno.

Mother: Oh…I LOVE YOU VINNY!

Vincent: Ice cream?

Mother: Chocolate?

Vincent: Yes.

-Mother and Vincent skip merrily away into the sunset and Dirge of Cerberus was the worst game ever-