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Chapter 9

Fergus was furious. "Wot are ye doing here!"

"We have unfinished business if you recall," A voice from within the crowd answered him, an annoying voice.

"Everyone out!" Fergus bellowed. "Not ye, ye arse! Everyone else!"

"But sire, wot aboot me cabbages?"

"Bring it up next time. Now get!"

As the throne room cleared of pheasants a lone figure remained. Dressed in a grey shirt and a kilt with the colors of the Dunbroch clan, Knifenut Thorston smiled at the monarchs like the cat that ate the canary.

"How the bloody hell did ye get in here?"

Knifenut posed with his kilt. "Thru the front door. There are advantages to not having an average Viking physique." He twirled.

"Very clever." Fergus's tone indicated his words were not a compliment.

"They don't call me The Cunning for nothing." He pulled a pair of pants out of a satchel at his side. "Do you mind? It's drafty in here."

While Fergus visibly restrained himself from strangling the Viking, Elinor decided to move things along. "And to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"Well, last time we met, the peace talks where cut short because of… schedule problems. I've been sent to continue where we left off."

"How thoughtful." The Queen deadpanned.

Knifenut suddenly started looking around. "If you'll excuse me for just a second." He gave a sharp whistle and a small dragon appeared, it flew from somewhere and landed on his head.

Both Monarchs were surprised at seeing the dragon, it was the size of a cat with a serpentine like body, topped with fleshy spikes, a round horned head that seemed almost too big for such a slender neck, a pair of bat like wings and four clawed little legs completed the ensemble. It was a reddish Terrible Terror.

Knifenut sighed in annoyance. "Go find Hiccup, go!" The dragon left just as quickly as he appeared. "Now then, where were we?"

"How did ye get here?" Fergus tone was all business.

"We went thru this already, I used the door."

"Ye now what A mean!" Fergus snapped. "Answer the question, how did ye get here?"

"Oh, that. It's simple: I hitched a ride with my kids."

XxX

Two weeks had passed and Hiccup thought he was doing pretty well. The guards tended to ignore him now, instead of glaring at him. He was advancing at a good pace in his classes with the Queen, he was on somewhat friendly terms with his rivals and his relationship with the princess had moved from her outright ignoring him to her giving him short pointed answers. Progress!

He was just coming back from his morning flight with Toothless when he spotted a sizeable group of people outside the castle walls, close to the cliff. A group that included princess Merida and the three young lords. Landing nearby, Hiccup went to investigate. "Hey guys, what's happening?"

Surprisingly, it was William who answered. "Two headed dragon from before, napping over there." The Dingwall heir kept turning his head, searching for something.

"Two heads…" Hiccup made his way to the front if the crowd, where he saw a Hideous Zippleback happily catching some Z's "Barf? Belch? What are you doing here? Wait, if you're here that means that…"

"Surprise!" Twin voices greeted him as Ruffnut and Tuffnut each grabbed one of his arms and started dragging him.

"Please tell me you're not here, just because you were bored," Hiccup pleaded.

"No way, man," Tuffnut answered him. "We're here with dad on business."

Ruffnut nodded. "Besides, Astrid would have our head if we just left."

"And not in a good way," Tuffnut piped in. "She's been totally harsh since we came back, been doing all kinds of drills."

"But now that we're here, we are gonna have lots of fun." Ruffnut's voice became husky.

Hiccup was afraid to ask. "What kind of fun?" He did it anyway, noting they were getting awfully close to the cliff.

"Guess," Tuffnut told him, and then they both threw him off the cliff.

"You guys suuu…" SPLASH!

"That was fun," Ruffnut said, ignoring the horrified looks sent their way.

"Let's go then," Tuffnut told her.

"Yeah!" They both head butted each other, hard, the clang of their helmets clashing together ringed loudly. Then they jumped.

Dingwall jumped after them.

XxX

Knifenut wandered thru the castle after the meeting was finished, trying to find out how he got lost. Didn't I have like a hundred guards trailing me? Having ducked in a room to change into some proper clothes, he found himself completely alone and with no idea of where to go. Maybe I should have Hiccup draw me a map? "Lost in thought, he almost didn't saw the trio of redheads blocking his path with determined expressions on their faces.

"I see that this castle has fierce protectors. I shall thread carefully."

The triplets nodded and puffed their chests, as if to say 'see that you do.'

Knifenut smiled. "You kids want to see something neat?" He extended his left arm, palm up and the triplets could see something slithering along his arm and exit thru his sleeve, before coiling around his wrist. Knifenut scratched the top of his head and the creature hissed in a way that could only be described as contentment. "This little fellow is a Slitherfang, and even if it looks like a snake, it's actually a dragon."

As if to prove the point, the little critter extended a pair of bat like wings it had folded against his body.

"It's not the biggest, or able to produce fire like the other dragons." The Slitherfang gave an annoyed hiss. "But that doesn't make them any less dangerous. They can make a smoke screen to conceal their movements, and their venom contains a powerful paralytic they use to hunt. These little creature hunt in packs, you know? When they find their prey, they fill the area with smoke to confuse him, then one of them creeps close and bites it. Once the prey is paralyzed, the rest of the pack comes, and they all have a delicious and very fresh lunch."

"If you are trying to scare my children," the Queen intoned from behind Knifenut, "You are going to do better than that."

The small serpent like dragon was startled by the voice and quickly dove back into the sleeve. Its master, however, turned to face the Queen with a big and somewhat fake smile on his face.

"I suppose being eaten alive just doesn't have the same shock value it did back in my time." He sighed. "Regardless, I'm not trying to scare them. I'm giving them a piece of advice that has served me well throughout my life." He held the triplets gaze. "Just because you're tiny doesn't mean you're not deadly. You have to be careful, though, because what it does mean is that you are easier to squish."

A fair amount of steel appeared on the in the Queen's voice. "Are you threatening my children?"

Knifenut blinked. "I was talking about me, actually. I don't know if you've seen a lot of Vikings, but I'm not exactly up to par with my brethren."

"I make it a habit not to see any Vikings," The Queen told him icily.

Knifenut smiled. "A wise and healthy lifestyle choice if I may say so. But back to my point, I'm actually rather fond of children. They're smarter than people give them credit for. The perfect example is that they always turn tail and run when they see us, instead of dying in a futile attempt to defend their meager belongings. Run and live, fight and die, that's what I always say. It's that simple."

"How merciful of you, however, I doubt your victims would see it that way." The disgust in Elinor's voice was palpable.

Knifenut shrugged nonchalantly. "They should, they'd live longer. It's nothing personal on our part."

"It must be easy to say that when you don't…"

"When you don't what?" Knifenut snapped at the Queen, startling her. "Don't know what it's like?" His voice became a sneer, his face a mask of hatred. "Did you see Hiccup's scaly friend? We were in constant battle with those hellish creatures for three hundred bloody years! Can you even imagine what that is like? Once or twice a month they would come for our food. What chance where we given to run away? Where would you even run in an island? We were burned and trampled and gored and maimed. We died and hungered because of them, yet now we live side by side. Do you think that would be possible if there was hate between us? It was nothing personal for the dragons, and to hate them for it would be just as stupid as if a deer hated the arrow that killed it."

The Queen was stunned. "Would you have escaped if given the choice?"

Knifenut's deranged smile gave her the answer she needed. Of course not, to a Viking there is no greater joy than fighting to death. He visibly composed himself. "If you'll excuse me, I have to make sure my kids don't burn down your kingdom."

XxX

On a nearby beach, four teenagers lay panting on the ground, having narrowly escaped death.

William was on his hands and knees, catching his breath. He tried to stand up, but his shaky legs wouldn't let him. That had been the most intense experience of his life! There had been no time for contemplation or emotion, rage, fear, doubt, any of those could have gotten him killed; smashed against the side of the cliff or swallowed by the merciless might of the Loch Ness. A fight between man and the elements with only his will and determination on his side, he wanted to run to the castle and put his excitement at the experience on a canvas, but still lacked the strength to move.

"We almost died!" Tuffnut cheered between gulps of air. "That was awesome!"

"Whana go again?" Ruffnut asked.

"Na, I'm still too tired."

Ruffnut snorted. "Men."

Hiccup was laying face down on the sand; he was so tired he couldn't even manage the strength to turn around, or to care about the strange crooning he had heard while underwater. "Have I ever told you guys how much I hate you?" Toothless was gently prodding his side with his head.

"Yeah, right." Tuffnut didn't buy it. "I bet this is the first fun thing you've done since getting here."

Hiccup groaned, but said nothing. They were right. He had been taking it easy since he arrived, and as terrifying as the drop and the swim were, it was also the most fun he had in weeks. Not that he would ever admit it.

Ruffnut grinned. "Speaking of fun, are you plowing the princess yet?"

"A'hem standing right here, ye know!" Merida's face was red.

And indeed she was, as soon as they saw the direction in which they where swimming she took off running towards the beach along with Ian and Doric.

"You guys remember princess Merida, right?" Hiccup asked.

"No."

"Nope."

"Nae."

"Yer trying to court me, ye jackass," she scolded Dingwall. "How can ye not remember me?"

"Don't be too hard on the boy; from the looks of it, someone dropped him on his head when he was little," A voice behind her spoke.

Merida turned around to find a wiry Viking standing behind them. What? She hadn't noticed him at all!

"Are you guys having fun?" The stranger asked.

"You bet, Dad, we just went for a swim." Tuffnut answered him.

"I can see that, you could have waited for your old man, you know?"

Ruffnut scoffed at that. "As if, you said you where gonna be in the castle all day."

Knifenut nodded. "That I did. However, it appears that the clan heads must be present for some reason. So until they get here I'm stuck. Then I thought, now's a good time for that camping trip I owe my kids."

Ruff and Tuff's faces lit up immediately. Hiccup had never seen the twins so happy before, their faces didn't sport their traditional mean smirk or a leer or grins, but full blown happy smiles. "You mean it?" They chorused, not even noticing they were mirroring each other.

"Of course I do," he assured them. "I just have to take care of something really quick and we'll leave as soon as you're ready." Knifenut started searching the surroundings with his gaze. "Where is that blasted lizard? I sent it to find Hiccup ages ago." He seemed displeased.

Said blasted lizard chose that moment to appear, landing on Knifenut's head. "I hate this thing so much." His voice was calm and resigned.

"Why did you guys brought a Terrible Terror here?" Hiccup was curious.

"You can blame your pal Ingerman for that one," Knifenut answered him. "He trained it to deliver messages, so we're showing him the way. I just wished he had picked a less annoying one."

The Terror was gnawing one of the horns of his helmet, as if to prove the point.

Hiccup was very surprised at that. "That's brilliant! He taught a Terror to act like…"

"Like a bloody carrier pigeon!" Merida finished for him. Who uses dragons instead of pigeons? Why would you even want to use dragons instead of pigeons?"

Hiccup had finally managed a semi sitting position. "Well, to be fair, I've never actually seen pigeons on Berk."

"I have," Knifenut commented.

"May I inquire as to their fate?" Ian asked.

It was Tuffnut that answered him. "The dragons ate them."

"Viking promotion at its finest." Ruffnut nodded sagely.

"At least they're working off their meal," commented Hiccup, who started laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

Knifenut started chuckling. "Let that be a lesson to you kids, there's no such thing as a free meal." He burst out laughing too.

After that, all four Vikings took turns trying to outdo each other with puns.

"I guess their check's in the mail."

"We're really pushing the envelope on that one."

"We'll have to feed it well or he'll become mail-nourished."

Merida just stood there watching the Vikings laugh and trade puns and figured that making sure her 'suitors' were alive was about the extent of her obligation to them. She could not help voicing her opinion, though. "Yer all insane."

Knifenut wiped a tear from his eyes. "Sanity was breed out of Berk about four generations ago."

Hiccup thought about that for a second. "I'm surprised it lasted that long." That started a new bout of laughter.

Merida turned her head and started to leave. She had walked at most ten paces when something landed at the top of her head. She stood stock still. "It's in me head ain't it?"

Doric and Ian nodded, William wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention.

She started reaching to pluck the little lizard of off her when Knifenut's voice stopped her. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Terrible Terrors while not overly dangerous by themselves, they can breathe fire and have enough snapping power to bite your finger clean off." He shrugged. "Why do you think I let this flying pest gnaw at my helmet?"

Hiccup couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard or so long. Cold, wet and tired as he was, the news that he would be able to send letters and receive news from Berk cheered him up immensely. So much in fact, that he didn't mind one bit when Doric picked him up by the back of his shirt to speak with him face to face. Toothless didn't react, so there was no hostility in the act.

The MacGuffin heir spoke to him, and while Hiccup didn't understand a word the burly Scott said, he did get the gist of what he was saying: 'Go help the princess.'

"Of course I'll help her, don't worry. If Fishlegs trained that Terror, he won't react badly unless he feels threatened, so don't pull out any weapons and the princess will be all right."

Doric nodded and carried Hiccup towards Merida, feeling a little better already.

"Come on, little red." Hiccup offered his shoulder. "Why don't you climb off the pretty princess and we'll go find a nice juicy fish?"

The Terror made a whirring sound and tried to take a more comfortable position on the princess's head. Merida felt it move but not leave. "Wot is it doing?"

"It looks like nesting to me," Hiccup answered.

"Yer kidding me…" Merida was not amused.

Hiccup smiled. "A little bit. A dragon would never really nest near other living beings. They nest on bare rocks near water, because their eggs explode when they hatch."

Merida paled at that.

Seeing that he was scaring her instead of calming her down, Hiccup grabbed her hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "You are not in any danger, understand?"

She nodded.

Hiccup turned to face the young lords. "Does anyone have something shiny on them?" Ian gave him a small sheet of silver, polished to a mirror shine. Hiccup took it and showed it to the dragon, who immediately leap at it, Hiccup caught the Terror in mid leap and after a few scratches it was a puddle in his arms.

"He's not really a bad guy, you see?" Hiccup made Merida hold the little dragon and told her where to scratch it, soon, she had a purring dragon on her arms and a smiling Viking at her side. "Now you're his friend," he told her. "And a dragon would never hurt his friends. Right, Toothless?"

Toothless made a sound and let his tongue hang out of his mouth. "That means yes," Hiccup assured her. "You guy should go back to the castle and give him a fish, I'll catch up later." Merida nodded and the Scotts left. Turning back to his fellow Vikings, Hiccup found them gone already. "Guess it's just you and me." He smiled at a loud voice in the distance.

"Bloody heck, it's in me head again!"

Taking a step Hiccup winced as pain shot thru his leg, Toothless was at his side in an instant, helping him stand. "Looks like walking is not a good idea right now, can you give me lift bud?"


Sweet mama jamma! Taking care of someone 24/7 is tough, taking care of several people 24/7 is freaking exhausting.

To make up for the schedule slips next chapter will be extra long (no pun intended.) so make sure to look out for that.


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