A/N: Hulllo:)
I know I've been away for a few months. I am so sorry! It's been an interesting couple months. I won't bore you and go into it. This chapter takes place all the way back at Christmas so I'll try my very best to write enough to catch up to March. Hopefully that will be a sufficient apology for being gone for so long.
Please review! Seeing what you guys think about the story, what it means to you, what ideas you have about it inspire me to write more, as cliched as it is, and it also just means a lot to me. I absolutely adore you all.
Harry Potter and the Potterverse characters all belong to JK Rowling.
XOXORose
-DdLM-
I woke up early the next morning, blinked for a second, then panicked. It was Christmas and I hadn't wrapped a single present.
"Minky!"
She popped onto my bed in front of me.
"Yes, Mistress Dia?"
"Help me wrap these presents! I'd forgotten all about them! I can't believe I did that."
"Yes, Mistress Dia!"
It only took the two of us an hour to wrap them all and I had woken up early enough that no one else was even stirring.
Until, of course, all three boys bounded into my room telling me it was Christmas and grabbing all the presents to put underneath the tree and dragging me downstairs.
"Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas to you too!"
It was like they were all six instead of sixteen again. Their joy was contagious and I soon myself laughing as well, although Christmas had never really been a happy memory for me before. For them it was something to be cherished and I wanted to cherish it with them. I couldn't help it. No matter how much I wanted to just curl up into a little ball and hide all day, I wanted to be with them. I wanted to be happy with them.
"Okay! We have to sort so we each have a pile and then we can open the presents!"
"You are all sixteen. Can't you calm down?"
"No. It's Christmas!"
I had Minky bring us some hot chocolate as they made quick work of the mountain of presents and tucked myself into the corner of the sofa with a blanket. I wasn't sure if I could actually drink it all, but it seemed to fit the scene. By the time they were finished I had been buried by a small pile of presents. They couldn't put them next to me, they had to put them in my lap.
Mr. and Mrs. Potter gave me a couple new pairs of dress robes, a new pair of shoes, and a locket. Marlene, Jay, and Tracey had all sent their presents over. Marlene gave me a thick red sweater and a pair of warm socks. Jay gave me the accompanying pair of pajama pants and a new Gryffindor scarf. Tracey sent me a red leather journal and a new quill with red ink.
You hold a lot inside, and you need to let it out. If you don't want to talk, write.
Tracey
Remus gave me a picture. It was a picture of me, Lily, Marlene, Jay, Tracey, Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter on a trip to Hogsmeade. Our cheeks were flushed, we were holding butterbeer. We were laughing. I wasn't as thin.
The last present was from James and Sirius. I suddenly understood why Remus had given me a picture.
"Merlin's fuzzy underpants! You guys, this was expensive! Why did you - You shouldn't have -" I stopped. They had actually spent money on me with no second thoughts. They were willing to spend money on me. My eyes welled up with tears. "Thank you." I threw my arms around them and pulled them in. Sirius let out a very unmanly squeak.
"Any time."
-DdLM-
The rest of Christmas was spent drinking hot chocolate by the fire, and eating candy canes, and baking cookies, and then eating the cookies. Remus kept stealing the chocolate chips, and when Mrs. Potter swatted him out of the kitchen, it became a competition between James and Sirius as to who could sneak the most chocolate chips out to him.
The next morning I realized that I should have gotten a letter calling me out on using magic while under aged. I asked Mr. Potter about it and he said he had taken care of it. Apparently the Ministry had decided that ten Death Eaters was a more than fair trade for turning a blind eye to the fact that it took a sixteen year old using magic to do so.
That afternoon, Lily arrived.
"Oh, Dia, she was so horrible to me! She put on this act whenever mum and dad were around, but whenever we were alone she would say the nastiest things to me just because I'm a witch! I couldn't stand another day. I took a bus down to London and took a floo from Diagon Alley to get here. I carried my trunk through London just to get away from my own sister!"
"It's not your fault, Lils. She's awful, really. I know you love her because she's your sister, but that doesn't mean you need to spend time around her. At least not when it isn't necessary. You just end up putting yourself through the wringer and her not even feeling a twinge for you. It isn't right to stay around that."
We spent the next two days reading books and singing along to the radio and baking even more for the New Year's party. Tracey and Jay arrived on December 29th. They came with the extra decorations Mrs. Potter had asked them to pick up.
"Oh good! You're here! And you brought everything! Thank you, my dears!"
"Lily! Dia!"
"Tracey! Jay!"
"I'm so glad to see you!"
"Have you been eating?"
"Are the boys behaving?"
"How can you survive days of just them?"
"Where are our presents?"
"Merlin's great white beard! I'll give them to you on New Year's! Calm down!"
And then we decorated. All the time. All the way up until lunch on December 31st. After that Mrs. Potter sent us all off to get ready. We each had our own bathrooms so we all took baths at once, but immediately after they all congregated in my room. Each of them brought various supplies for preparation and the first thing they did was put my hair in minuscule curlers and make me up like a doll.
It took for-bloody-ever.
Then they did their own hair and make-up. I stood by my armoire, staring hopelessly at my new dress robes. I had no idea which one to wear. The first one was silver with a sweetheart neckline and a halter top. The belt was a thin white band of pearls around the smallest part of my waist and the bottom was laden with more pearls. I had a pair of silver slippers to go with it and a thick pearl collar. The second was the complete opposite. It was high-necked and sleeveless and pure gold. It was encrusted with tiny diamonds and the full skirt was draped all around my legs and swished whenever I took a step. It came with a pair of "glass" slippers and a long diamond pendant. The third was a deep purple, so deep it was almost black, but it shimmered violet in the light. It had off-the-shoulder sleeves, a scarlet stripe that wound its way around my entire body and trailed behind me, and corset laces in the back. Mrs. Potter had given me a ruby necklace and a pair of scarlet pumps.
"I think you should wear the purple one."
I slipped it on. It felt like silk. Tracey found a tube of lipstick the same red as the red on my dress.
"Dia. You look amazing." I turned away from the mirror and my jaw dropped as I laid my eyes on the other girls.
Lily was in a floor length number the same emerald green as her eyes. It fell over her with an elegant ease and accentuated her gentle curves perfectly.
Tracey had on a white slip of a dress, her sheet of pure blode hair framing her face like a halo. She glowed like an angel.
Jay was draped in thick shimmery layers of pastel yellow and pink. She looked as sweet as a cake.
Boys would swarm all over them. I just knew it. I turned back to the mirror.
I'll never convince someone to marry me. No wonder my mother was always worried.
I fixed a smile back on my face and looped an arm through Jay and Tracey's arms and Lily held onto the end. With a deep breath, we walked downstairs. The party was about to begin.
-DdLM-
"Hey! Dia! Come check this out!"
"What?"
James was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for us, and he didn't look very happy. He pointed to a corner of the room behind the drinks table.
"Sarah's on her eighth shot of firewhiskey and getting pretty close to that Durmstrang guy. He's someone's cousin or something. Maybe he's my cousin. I'm not sure. Doesn't much matter who he's related to, Sirius is not going to be happy."
"She's drunk. We've just got to make sure nothing happens."
James turned around and finally noticed we had all changed into our dress robes.
"Wow. You all look amazing. Lily… You look amazing."
Lily flushed a bit around the edges.
"You didn't call me Evans. You called me Lily."
"You're as pretty the flower you were named after."
They just stared at each other. Jay looked uncomfortable and Tracey was trying not to laugh.
"Lily, why don't we get some drinks before you two jump each other right here in the foyer." Jay grabbed Lily by the arm and took her to the drinks table while Tracey dragged James off in another direction.
"Come on, Romeo. Dia, go find Sirius, would you? Keep him away for a bit. One of us will extract Sarah as soon as we can." I turned back to Sarah and her toy from Durmstrang to find them getting very comfortable with each other.
"Good idea. James, do you know where he is?"
"Still getting ready. He had to help Moony with his tux and he's a total priss, so he's running a bit behind."
I made my way back up the stairs and found the priss himself messing with his hair and some shiny… something or other.
"Everyone's waiting, your highness."
"Really?"
"No. Life does in fact go on without you." He pouted. "What are you doing to your hair? It looks fine."
"Perfecting it."
"Nothing's changing."
"Is too."
"You're a child. Oh, look what you did! Sirius, your hair…"
While arguing with me he had run a hand through his hair in frustration and he looked like a hippie hedgehog.
"My hair!"
"Here, let me fix it."
"Don't you come near my hair! It just finished growing back!"
"I'm not going to shave your head!"
I moved toward him as he tried desperately to fix his precious hair, paying absolutely no attention to what I was actually doing. I made it within a centimeter of his head before he suddenly whipped around and grabbed me by the wrist.
I let out a very undignified squeak.
He stopped.
We were close. Very close.
He was warm, so warm, and I couldn't breathe.
He couldn't either.
We both just stood there, staring at each other, not breathing, not blinking, just staring.
I lifted my other hand up and combed my fingers gently through his hair, fixing what he had done. His breath hitched, but he still wasn't breathing. He put his hand on my waist and pulled me even closer.
"Dia."
And suddenly his lips had been smashed against mine and I could breath again, I could breathe Sirius, and my heart stuttered in my chest, beating unnaturally fast. He released my wrist and I brought both hands to his hair and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in, in, and pressing every centimeter of our bodies together. It was so wrong on so many levels, starting with how we weren't supposed to be able to stand each other and going all the way up to Sarah, but I didn't care. It just felt so right.
I pulled back a bit and pressed our foreheads together.
"Sirius…"
"Merlin's beard, Dia."
"Sirius."
"Why didn't I kiss you sooner? I won't be able to leave you alone now."
"Sirius."
He looked me in the eyes.
"Dia."
And then I was kissing him again. I couldn't help myself. I wanted him so badly, and then I had him, and I never wanted to let him go again.
"Okay. Okay." We were both breathing heavily and so entwined that I didn't know whose hands were where. "Sirius, we can't do this. What about Sarah? I mean, the whole reason I came up here was to keep you from going downstairs to find her with that Durmstrang guy because James thought you'd be really upset. I came up here to save your relationship. Not… make out with you."
"She cheated on me first? Well then we're fine."
"That's not how this works. Even if she cheated, you're still technically together. She's doesn't even know what she's doing. She's completely smashed. She'd had eight shots of firewhiskey before she started talking to him, and she just kept drinking."
"I know. I can't blame this on her. I just really want you right now."
"Bloody hell." I shuddered at the sound of his voice. He sounded like liquid sex. I pushed myself even further against him. "I think I understand now why it's so easy for you to get girls. And why none of them care when you treat them awfully."
"I'm still not sure why it isn't the same way for you. You look brilliant, Dia. That dress fits you perfectly. You look stunning. You - "
I kissed him again.
"We need to go back down to the party."
"I know. I don't want to, but I know. We have to."
I linked my arm through his and we walked back downstairs. Remus was waiting for us with an eyebrow raised. We both stuck our tongues out at him and made our way to the dancefloor. The band wasn't a band, it was a symphony. My parents had always wanted this symphony to play for their ball, but they couldn't afford it without cutting back on something else. They were amazing, and they played every kind of song imaginable, and Sirius could dance to them all.
"You might not thank them for anything else, but at least your parents taught you how to dance. I can't even tell you how many times I've had my toes stepped on by those respectable purebloods. And they're awful conversationalists."
"I'm glad I'm an improvement then."
We danced for an hour or two, I had no idea how long, and all I remember is this feeling of bliss and laughing until my sides hurt and stopping every once and a while for a drink. We might not have gotten along for the first five and a half years, but once we did, I couldn't imagine life without him. And the other boys, as well. We stopped to get something to eat and met up with Lily, Jay, and Remus at a table towards the back.
"Hullo, Lils! Hullo, Jay! Remus, hullo!"
"Pads, have you gotten her drunk?"
"Maybe just a bit tipsy. I spiked her butterbeer about half way through."
I hiccuped and tried to glare at him, but everything just seemed so funny, and I couldn't. Jay handed me a plate of something fancy, and we all sat and chatted, and steadily got more and more drunk. None of us were completely bladdered, but we were all on our ways.
"Hey, Moony. Where'd Prongs go? I just realized he's not here."
"He's getting the fireworks set up. Pop charmed them to go off at exactly midnight, but he didn't put them outside or anything, so Prongs went off to fix that."
"Oh. I hope he doesn't get blown up."
We all found that hilarious.
Tracey flounced up to our table smiling as wide as she possibly could and dragging a sixth year Ravenclaw behind her.
"Hey, zat?"
"Amos Diggory. You've met him before! How drunk are you?"
"Oh so drunk, Trace, you 'ave no idea. Sirius o'er there sp-hic-iked my drink withou' me knowin' it an' now 'm drunk."
"I think Sirius over there is trying to get a good shag."
"Tha's funny. S'also ne'er gonna happ'n."
Sirius pouted. I wasn't sure if he was serious or then, Sarah stumbled over, crying.
"Sirius! Sirius! 'M so sorry! I got - I got drunk! I didn' mean it!"
"Sarah? What's wrong?"
He seemed instantly sober.
"There was a Durmstrang boy and you weren' anywhere an' I thought maybe you didn' l-l-love me after all, so I thought I'd get back at you! I didn' mean it, I swear!"
"I'd better take her upstairs. I'll see you guys later."
And suddenly I was sober too. It was all fine and good to lead me on when no one else was around, but he had to keep up appearances. He couldn't be seen around someone as ugly as me. I grabbed a shot, then another, and another. It burned, but Merlin's beard it didn't burn enough. It burned like half an hour after lunch, alone, in the upstairs bathroom.
"Let's dance."
Lily and Jay exchanged a look, and then Jay got up and came with me. We must have danced for hours. Or at least, I did. I think they all switched out with each other. I don't remember. Everything after that was a blur. All I remember is that Sirius never came back down and everything looked red.
