"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 9: Racists and Perverts
As the mayhem continued, the #30 entrant made his way in about 12... 11...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #30: Uncle Ruckus (The Boondocks)
With the horn sounding off for the 30th time, an old fat black man with his left eye larger than the black one, started making his way through the curtain. However, he came out to a mixed reaction, and considering his ways towards racial discrimination, he wasn't really loved.
"Well, this is one man I didn't expect to see in this Rumble!" J.R. exclaimed.
"It's Uncle Ruckus from 'The Boondocks'," Jonesy nodded. "And considering his size advantage, it's definitely gonna be a factor in this match."
However, Uncle Ruckus didn't enter the ring. Instead, he circled around the ring, searching for a microphone to speak in.
"Wait a minute, he's got a microphone," Jonesy replied. "It looks like he wants to speak his mind."
"But he's in the middle of a Rumble! Once you're in the ring, you got no choice but to fight!" J.R. complained.
As soon as he stepped in the ring, everyone in the Rumble got Uncle Ruckus's attention. Ruckus had silenced everyone to a negative reaction from the crowd.
"Cut the music," Ruckus spoke on the microphone. "Well, is this a sight to see right here. This is a sight I love from this ring. It's amazing to see that there are only less black people in this Royal Rumble so far."
Suddenly, the whole black minority erupted in a fair share of boos.
"But just because I support the white man, that doesn't mean that I'm not a racist to all the black community." Ruckus said, defending his ground.
However, he looked some of the competitors, mostly Twilight, Heath, Sunset, Abbey, Frankie and Spectra, and were creeped out by their skin color.
"Just what in the blue hell does some of the contestants have blue or yellow skin?" Ruckus raised an eyebrow. "That ain't right. So, you're telling me that some of you don't wanna be white, just like I wanted to be? You should be lucky you ain't black like me, because the cops here in LA will pull your sorry n***a-ass over and give you a beating you'll remember!"
Somehow, Ruckus was about this close to starting a riot.
"I think it's about time that we bring a white-only America to this great nation!" Ruckus exclaimed. "Let the black people who live in this country move back to Africa! And maybe the colored people back to Mars where they belong! Let's start fresh! Let's start anew. FOR GOD'S SAKES, PEOPLE! LET"S... START... A WHITE AMERICA!"
The boos around this building strengthened in core. It was nearly this close from blowing the roof off.
"I think Uncle Ruckus made a huge mistake here..." J.R. muttered.
"I can't wait how this is gonna end here..." Jonesy chuckled.
Uncle Ruckus did make a very huge mistake. He had gotten everyone in the Rumble pissed off at him!
In response, everyone in the Rumble started ganging up on him with hammering blows to the back. Suddenly, everyone started cheering for the uncontrollable beatdown of Uncle Ruckus.
"It looks like everyone's going after him!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Can you blame them?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow. "It was Ruckus's idea to start a riot like this, and now look where it's gotten him now!"
After that pummeling beatdown, Brock, Abbey, Geoff, Flash, Heath, Twilight, Sunset and Spectra all grabbed Uncle Ruckus by the shirt. With all their combined strength, they managed to lift up Uncle Ruckus over the top rope and onto the floor, ending his run in the Rumble to a standing ovation!
"With that, Uncle Ruckus is outta here!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Yeah, talk about digging his grave over a little speech!" Jonesy scoffed.
21st Eliminated: Uncle Ruckus; Eliminated by: Abbey Bominable, Brock Samson, Flash Sentry, Geoff, Heath Burns, Spectra Vondergeist, Sunset Shimmer, and Twilight Sparkle; Duration: 0:50
Ruckus's little outburst wasted too much time as another contestant was making their way to the ring.
"The clock's starting down! We're about to see number 31 here!" Jonesy said, feeling anticipated.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #31: Frankie Stein (Monster High)
As the horn sounded again, a school girl with white/black hair, green skin, and bolts attached to her neck came through the curtain and ran down the aisle in full speed. Seeing this, Jonesy had no choice but to complain.
"Oh, this is great, another one of these freaks?" Jonesy rolled his eyes painfully. "Haven't we had enough to begin with?"
"I'm certain there'll be more like her," J.R. nodded, "Because here comes Monster High's own, Frankie Stein!"
After Frankie got inside the ring, everyone continued their havoc in the Rumble.
For Frankie, she got off to a clean start, leaping on Sunset Shimmer and replying with a Lou Thesz press!
"Whoa! Frankie's starting off strong!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Sunset Shimmer's getting hammered by Frankie!" Jonesy cried out. "That freak is not right!"
After pummeling Sunset Shimmer with shot after shot, she focused her efforts on Twilight Sparkle, in which she got her with dropkick after another!
"Frankie's throwing out bullets of dropkicks after another!" J.R. explained clearly.
"C'mon, somebody's gotta slow her down!" Jonesy whined.
And then, Frankie whipped Twilight by the ropes, hoping to launch her into sky with a back body drop.
But Twilight responded with a clothesline, which was smart enough for Frankie to duck! In response, Frankie grabbed Twilight by the neck and put her down with a swinging neckbreaker!
"Picture perfect neckbreaker by Frankie Stein!" J.R. said, feeling impressed by Frankie.
"I'm telling you, J.R., this whole ring is surrounded by freaks!" Jonesy cried out again. "I don't know if I'm at a circus or a frickin' madhouse."
"I know what you definitely feel." J.R. muttered at Jonesy.
Meanwhile, Stewie Griffin was busy going to work on Brock Samson, getting the muscle man in a sleeper hold.
Suddenly, it was a mistake to do that to someone that stronger and bigger than Samson himself.
"Uh-oh, Brock Samson's caught in a sleeper hold!" Jonesy replied.
"Everyone from 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper to Brutus 'The Barber' Beefcake to Dolph Ziggler have all mastered this move very well," J.R. nodded. "And Stewie's trying his best to get the big man down on his knees!"
"He can't do it! Stewie's a baby because his arms are too short!" Jonesy pointed out.
Jonesy was right on the mark. Stewie was nothing but a toddler himself.
Being unaffected by this sleeper hold, Brock Samson tipped Stewie over the top rope and sent him falling to the floor, resulting in another elimination!
"And Stewie is out!" J.R. replied.
"Put this baby to bed, because he's out, literally!" Jonesy nodded.
22nd Eliminated: Stewie Griffin; Eliminated by: Brock Samson; Duration: 5:31
Despite being a baby, Stewie didn't cry from his defeat in the Rumble. Instead, he blew everyone off and got out of here.
Meanwhile, both Heath and Abbey were busy trying to double suplex Geoff after roughing the party boy up a bit. They were busy trying their hardest to pick him up, but the support of the fans and Geoff's incredible heart forced them to fail.
"Heath and Abbey are trying to pick up Geoff, but so far, no luck!" J.R. replied.
"I think Geoff's hiding some sort of anchor in his pants," Jonesy guessed out a bit. "That must mean they're not doing it right."
After taking a bit of a deep breath, Geoff suddenly managed to counter the move by driving both Heath and Abbey's heads to the mat via double DDT!
"Incredible counter, there!" the Oklahoman shouted.
"Geoff drove their heads to the mat, just like digging their own graves!" Jonesy exclaimed. "I love it!"
"I'm certain you'd do..." J.R. muttered behind Jonesy's back.
As soon as Geoff got them unconscious, Flash Sentry had another plan up his sleeve.
So he leaped up the top rope, hoping to pull off some aerial offense on Heath Burns, or as Jonesy likes to call him, 'Flash's brother'.
"I think Flash is looking ready to fly here, J.R.!" Jonesy said in excitement.
"Yeah, and he might be looking to strike down Heath here!" J.R. nodded again.
Unfortunately, while Flash was looking to leap...
...Spectra came out of nowhere and dropkicked the ropes, sending Flash Sentry groin-first on the turnbuckle!
"Dear gawd, that hurts!" J.R. cringed.
"That ghost freak came out of nowhere and brought Flash down by his balls!" Jonesy cringed as well. "Looks like Heath's brother won't have kids as well!"
"For the second time, Flash Sentry is not Heath Burns's brother!" J.R. scowled at Jonesy.
"Sorry, I keep thinking that it is..." Jonesy muttered under his breath.
While Jonesy and J.R. kept arguing to each other about the whole 'Heath's brother' thing, the countdown to the next entrant began again.
"While me and the fat cowboy sitting beside me argue, let's see who number 32 is!" Jonesy exclaimed.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #32: Monty Monogram (Phineas and Ferb)
With the horn sounding for the 32nd time, a teenager with brown hair, a brown uni-brow, and gray hoodie sprinted to the ring. He happened to be the son of Major Monogram, the leader of the O.W.C.A. (Organization Without a Cool Acronym). With his brute force mixed with acrobatics, he was about to take things to the limit.
"Okay, I'm not very familiar with this character..." Jonesy muttered.
"That's because it's Monty Monogram, the son of Major Francis Monogram!" J.R. corrected him.
"Really? I thought he looked like some college dude I didn't even know..." Jonesy said, scratching his head.
"I'd figured you say that..." J.R. muttered again.
Monty managed to come up the apron, staring at Geoff with such silent intensity.
As the party boy turned to him, Monty leaped up from the turnbuckle and hit him with a Springboard Flying Forearm!
"Excellent move by Monty!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Yeah, I'll admit it. That's pretty impressive..." Jonesy said, muttering once more.
Next up was Brock Samson.
As soon as Brock tried to surprise Monty with a clothesline, Monty ducked down and leaped up in the air, hitting Samson with a Pele kick!
"Ouch! There goes the neighborhood!" Jonesy chuckled.
"That kick's gonna ring in Brock Samson's head for a long time!" J.R. cringed.
Meanwhile, as Monty was looking for another contestant to teach a lesson, Frankie and Spectra decided to team up against Twilight by going for a double suplex.
They did managed to get her over, but in a shocking turn of events, Sunset Shimmer came down and saved Twilight Sparkle! From there, Twilight and Shimmer responded back, double superkicking Frankie and Spectra right in the kisser!
"Whoa! What a save!" Jonesy replied, feeling a bit impressed.
"Who would have known that Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer would team up in a Rumble quite like this?" J.R. shrugged his shoulders.
"I sure as hell didn't know," Jonesy answered back. "But you know what they say in the WWE, 'Anything can happen'!"
While the two monster girls were busy recovering, Heath Burns felt groggy over at the turnbuckle as Flash Sentry began to lift him up.
"Oh man, I think they're going to the top floor with this one!" Jonesy replied.
"Believe me, nothing good is gonna come to this!" J.R. nodded in unison.
From there, Flash was trying to lift up Heath for a super back suplex, but the flame-bringer managed to hang on to the ropes. Yet not for long, Flash managed to slap his hand away. He started to lift him up again...
...only for Monty to grab Flash's legs by his shoulders. With the people in awe, Monty managed to powerbomb Flash to the mat, while Heath Burns got the worst of it in a huge back superplex! Suddenly, the crowd erupted in a huge pop!
"OH MY FRICKIN' GOD!" Jonesy shouted in horror.
"What a demolition derby that was!" J.R. said in awe.
"Monty just powerbombed Flash, who ended up suplexing Heath from the back! That definitely made my day!" Jonesy chuckled.
As everyone chanted Monty's name, deeming him the new Rumble favorite, Sunset Shimmer grabbed a garbage lid from the trash bin laying somewhere in the ring, and went up top.
Suddenly, Abbey managed to turn around and see Sunset leaping from the turnbuckle. In a desperate moment, Abbey swung her foot, knocking out Sunset Shimmer on the way down.
"HOLY FU-" Jonesy said, having his breath taken away from him. "Did you see that, J.R?!"
"I definitely did, Jonesy," J.R. nodded yet again. "Abbey cracked Sunset Shimmer's teeth like a coconut! That is just plain nasty to watch!"
As the kick forced Sunset Shimmer to hold her lips in pain, the Rumble clock was displayed on the titantron, moments away from introducing a new entrant.
"Anyway, we're about to have our 33rd entrant enter," Jonesy replied. "Who's it gonna be?"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #33: Butt-Head (Beavis and ButtHead)
As the horn sounded, out came another contestants. From the look of those famous braces, huge brown hair, and decked out in a black AC/DC shirt, he was greeted by thousands of fans in the Staples Center.
"Well well well, at least I'm familiar with this guy!" Jonesy chuckled.
"From the MTV landmark series, 'Beavis and ButtHead'," J.R. said, introducing the next entrant. "Here comes Butt-Head! Business has just picked up!"
As the desperate-to-score teenager got inside the ring, he was somehow greeted by Twilight Sparkle, who wasn't impressed by the braces-wearing metalhead.
"And look who Butt-Head's facing off against!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"I hate to see what's gonna happen from here..." J.R. muttered, fearing for the worst.
With an irritating laugh, Butt-Head spoke to Twilight.
"Huhuhuhuhuh... uh, hey baby," said Butt-Head, "You look hot. Huhuhuhuhuhuh, uhhhh... wanna go under the ring and do it? Huhuhuhuhuhuh..."
Twilight was creeped out by Butt-Head's comments.
For that, Twilight lent out her foot, and kicked ButtHead square in his balls!
"Dear lord!" J.R. cried out, cringing from his guts.
"I guess you can count him off the 'Kids I'll Be Having In The Future' list for that!" Jonesy chuckled.
"You said it!" J.R. nodded.
As Butt-Head was trying to recover the best that he can, Twilight grabbed him by the back of his hair and immediately launched him out of the ring and onto the floor instantly.
"Looks like Butt-Head isn't gonna score anytime soon," Jonesy shook his head no. "Butt-Head's gone!"
"That's a total shame." said J.R.
23rd Eliminated: Butt-Head; Eliminated by: Twilight Sparkle; Duration: 0:19
Butt-Head's elimination suddenly got a mixed reaction. They didn't expect Butt-Head to be thrown out of the match early.
After his departure, Brock Samson suddenly grabbed Monty Monogram by the neck. And then in a breathless display of strength, he threw Monty in the air, only catching him by his shoulders.
"Holy crap, J.R! Did you see that?" Jonesy spoke with a gasp.
"I definitely did!" J.R. nodded again. (Man, we got a lot of nodding, don't we?)
Using his strength, Brock slammed Monty down with the Powerbomb, but he was still attached to his legs.
Using his strength yet again, Brock managed to muscle him up for yet another powerbomb! The crowd was on their feet for this awesome display of power!
"Monty's in a world of hurt here!" J.R. exclaimed.
"He might need some help here, basically his girlfriend Vanessa Doofenshmirtz," Jonesy guessed just for fun. "If only she's the next entrant to get in!"
But before Brock could muscle Monty up for a third powerbomb, Frankie Stein came up and whacked Brock Samson with the chair! For extra addition, Monty finally managed to get out of that move with a hurricanrana!
"Looks like Frankie would just have to do for now!" J.R. blared out.
"Monty's in pain, but at least he should be lucky that a freak like Frankie would save him!" Jonesy replied.
Meanwhile, Flash Sentry, Twilight Sparkle and Geoff were busy triple teaming the hell out of Abbey Bominable and Heath Burns.
Flash and Twilight managed to lift both Heath and Abbey by their shoulders, the same time Geoff was ascending over the top rope.
"No way in heck is Geoff doing this..." Jonesy muttered.
"Like it or not, I think that's what's gonna happen!" J.R. nodded, feeling the intense pressure from this move.
With Heath and Abbey trying to break free from Flash and Twilight's grasp, Geoff leaped off the turnbuckle...
...
...
...
...and hit the Monster High couple with a double Doomsday Device, that brought the fans up on their feet!
"Double Doomsday Device! Geoff nails it!" J.R. exclaimed.
"The freaks are moments away from getting eliminated! I love it!" Jonesy smirked, rubbing his hands in a greedy way.
The ring was looking more like a broken down demolition derby with all of the contestants lying down in a heap. As Spectra took her time resting in the lower ropes, she looked at the Rumble clock with ease, leading its way to the next entrant in the Rumble.
"We got number 34 waiting in the wings, J.R!" Jonesy shouted.
"Who's up next in the quickest Royal Rumble ever?" J.R. raised an eyebrow.
Whoever was next, they better be prepared of what's coming to them.
Now that we've got another chapter down in the books, let's see what we now have...
Entrants still in the ring: Abbey Bominable, Brock Samson, Flash Sentry, Frankie Stein, Geoff, Heath Burns, Monty Monogram, Spectra Vondergeist, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam, Dan, Spike, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Phineas Flynn, Uncle Ruckus, Stewie Griffin and Butt-Head
Who will number 34 be in this wildest, quickest, yet cartoon-ish Royal Rumble there is to date. Stay tuned next chapter and don't forget to leave a comment this time! I would appreciate it if you do! ^_^
