Chapter 9

Henry was doing his morning workout routine in his room. He was mid sit-up when he heard the knock on the door. "Hey Henry. I'm doing a load of laundry. Do you need anything washed?" Elizabeth called through the door.

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks." Henry went back to his sit-ups. He heard the washing machine start its cycle on the other side of his bedroom wall. When the cycle finished, he jumped in the shower and emerged from his room about 30 minutes later.

Looking around the apartment, he didn't see Elizabeth. "Hey babe?" Her bedroom door was standing open, so he stuck his head inside. He didn't see her. He was just about to step away when he heard the sniffle coming from her bathroom. "Elizabeth?" he called, sticking his head through the open door. She was facing the washing machine. She turned to look at him, tears streaming down her face. "What's going on?" he asked, pulling her head to rest on his shoulder. "Talk to me."

"I was just doing laundry and I started thinking about how much I like living here. My room is big and the laundry is right here with my own bathroom and I can actually buy real food that I like and, and, and-" As she spoke, Elizabeth talked faster and her breath became shallower. She became more upset. The rest came out in a jumbled rush. "And you. I love you and I can't imagine being all the way across campus by myself and having to make arrangements to see you instead of seeing you all of the time." She sobbed into his shoulder.

Henry continued to hold her, but he was now smiling broadly. "Then stay." She pulled back away from him.

"What?" she asked, taking a ragged breath.

"Don't go. Just because that was the plan in May, doesn't mean it has to be the plan in August. Go call the student affairs office and see if you can get the money back on your room." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and sniffed.

Pulling away from Henry, she said, "You're sure you want me to stay?"

"More than anything. And I have since the first week we moved in together. I've had the best summer with you here."

She grinned, "I'm going to go call."

"Not yet you aren't." He pulled her back to him. "You don't get to say 'I love you' and then just walk away."

She blushed. "I said that?" He nodded. "Well, it's not like I don't, because I do, but I certainly didn't mean to say it." Elizabeth was uncharacteristically flustered and Henry was enjoying it.

He pulled her back by her hips so she was flush to his body, "And why exactly would you not want to say it?" His voice was teasing but his body language was saying something entirely different.

"I just. I just wasn't sure. Well that you," she stopped.

"Let me help clear it up for you Miss Adams." He snaked his fingers up her neck and into her hair pulling her ear to his mouth. "I've loved you since the day you brought me coffee and I asked you out on a date. There was a period of time when I tried to ignore it, but I would have never been successful. I will always love you." He pressed a row of kisses along her jaw and chin before capturing her lips in his. When he left her breathless, he released her saying, "Now you can make that call."

She grinned at him and disappeared out of the bathroom. Henry leaned against the washing machine and thought about their summer. He could definitely say that moving in together had been much more difficult than they had naively thought it would be. There were all of the normal things like who would clean and when that would happen and what is an acceptable level of clutter to leave around, but then there were also trickier situations like Henry's early morning workouts, which woke up Elizabeth when she finally got to sleep and Elizabeth's nightmares which sometimes woke Henry and left him wondering what to do or if he should do anything.

It had taken most of the two months of summer to get to a point where both felt really comfortable and were happy. Until her proclamation, Henry wasn't sure if Elizabeth was happy or not, but the fact that she was visibly upset at the thought of moving honestly thrilled him. He had been hoping all along that they she would want to stay with him, but he didn't want to bring it up.

October rolled around and as Henry sat at the bar in the kitchen watching Elizabeth make him scrambled eggs, he reflected on the past year. They had been through quite a lot. He was trying to keep an eye on Elizabeth since it would be coming up on a year since the attack. She didn't seem outwardly phased, but he knew her well enough to know that it was on her mind.

They sat together eating their breakfast. Elizabeth was not much of a morning person, but she was unusually quiet. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"I have a therapy appointment this afternoon. I'm just thinking about what we're going to talk about."

"Are you worried about it?" he inquired. Elizabeth very seldom mentioned therapy at all. He only knew that she went because she usually let him know when she'd be home later from work.

"Not worried, but maybe a little nervous." Henry was satisfied with that answer and was going to let it go when she suddenly continued. "I want to talk about taking the next step. With you. Physically." She lowered her head slightly, but he could still see that she was watching his reaction as the blush crept up her face.

"Are you sure?" He looked at her carefully. "That's a big step."

Her face fell. "You don't want to. At least, not with me."

"No, that's not true." He stood and pulled her up from her seat at the table. "It's just not true," he said, pulling her into an embrace. For a split second he congratulated himself that he was able to perform that act without thinking now. Holding Elizabeth in a way that made her comfortable and felt like an actual embrace to Henry had been a long and arduous process filled with trial and error and excessive negotiation. They had worked through it and now, finally after a month of practice, it was second nature. His mind went to why that was, and why now she was nervous about talking to her therapist and hashing out a plan to be intimate with him. Fury coursed through his veins. He tried to tamp it down, stuff it back in its corner of his brain, but it would not go. Then he was even more pissed because he knew she sensed it, and that was the last thing she needed to deal with. He let her go and kissed her chastely. "I'm sure it will be fine. I've got to go." He headed out the door, checking her over his shoulder and her look of confusion and hurt was almost too much for him to bear.

Henry ended up sitting on a bench in front of the lake at the park. He stared out over the water for a long time, trying to clear his mind. When he was calm enough that he thought he could make some sort of sense, he bowed his head and prayed. He started out praying that he would never actually see her Uncle in person because he was sure that if he did, he would kill him. He second guessed himself on that and decided it would better to pray for his own peace and that he could let go of his anger. Then he prayed for Elizabeth, that she was able to find whatever it was that she was seeking. He was concerned that she was pushing herself too fast, but that wasn't for him to decide and even if she were, she would deny it if he brought it up. He resigned himself to trusting that what was supposed to happen would happen in the right time frame.

He was surprised to find that her car was still in the parking lot when he returned. He unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside. Her backpack and purse still sat on the chair, so he knew she hadn't left. "Elizabeth," he called out. There was no answer. He checked her room and she wasn't there. Henry was thinking about her possible whereabouts when he walked into his room and straight to the bathroom. Coming out, he saw what he missed the first time and his heart ached with the love he held for the woman who lay asleep on his bed, hugging his pillow.

Her face was tear streaked and he felt remorse because he knew he was the cause. Because of his own anger, he left her alone with her doubt and insecurities. He brushed against her cheek with his fingertips. She stirred, coming slowly out of her sleep. He held her hand and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb until he knew she was awake. When their eyes met, he said, "I'm sorry. That whole thing earlier wasn't about you. It was about emotions that I struggle to deal with. I shouldn't have walked out. Forgive me."

"Of course," she said and he lowered his head to hers, kissing her passionately.

He pulled back and looked at Elizabeth, her lips red and swollen from kissing him, the shallow breaths she was taking because he had left her breathless and the want in her eyes. Of course, he also saw the doubt. He didn't put it there, but he knew that he hadn't done enough to alleviate it.

"I want to apologize for something else." He kissed her again before he continued. "In an effort not to make you feel pressured to do things physically, I haven't said much about it and that was wrong. You need to know how much I want you. How sometimes I look you and imagine how your skin will feel under my touch, Or how much I want your body to tremble as you hit your peak and you call my name because you want me to do it again and again." Henry couldn't help but kiss her again. "Or how I want to learn what you like so I can pleasure you." He grinned at Elizabeth, whose eyes had taken on a much darker hue. He leaned in a whispered against her ear. "Sometimes I look at your hands and imagine what it will feel like when you touch me." She giggled and suddenly gasped.

"What time is it?" she asked.

Henry was now sitting back, shocked at the sudden change in tone. "10:45. Why?"

She scrambled to her feet and raced out to the living room. Henry followed. "Have you seen my shoes?" She looked up at a befuddled Henry, while fishing her tennis shoes out from under the couch. "Oh, I originally canceled my 11 o'clock therapy appointment because I didn't feel up to it, but I need it back because my mind and heart are all in, but my body needs to get the fuck on board." She kissed him quickly. "Thanks. Love you," she said as she disappeared out the door as Henry stood in the middle of the living room laughing to himself.

Henry walked in from class to find Elizabeth scurrying around the apartment picking up odds and ends. "Hey babe. What are you doing?" He kissed her cheek and took a couple books from her hands that belonged to him.

"I'm just trying to make sure everything is nice for when Will arrives," she said, straightening the lamp shade.

"You know he's a 19 year old guy, right? He will likely only notice if you run out of beer or pizza."

She laughed, "You're probably right. Just for some reason I want it to be just so. We haven't spent a holiday together for a long time."

"When's he coming again?" Henry asked.

"He'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

"That's good. We can all hang out tomorrow night and maybe have lunch before I leave for Pittsburgh on Wednesday. That is, unless you have other plans."

Elizabeth answered, "No, I figured that's what we would do." She turned and caught Henry by the arm. "I'll miss you while you're gone."

"Yeah, I may not make it until Saturday. I might have to come back before then." He smiled at her

"Don't do that. Stay and visit your family. You haven't been home since those few days at Spring Break. I know your mom misses you."

"I'll try but I won't promise anything. Christmas will be different because I'm making you come with me. You'll see how nuts they are and you'll want to come home early too." She laughed and stepped into Henry, laying her head against him, her hand resting on his heart. He caught his fingers in his hair and cupped her head. When she tipped back to look at him, he kissed her. "I love you," he said.

Henry was excited for Elizabeth, who was beyond ecstatic that Will was coming to stay for a few days. Will arrived Tuesday afternoon while Henry was at class, and by the time Henry made his way back to the apartment, Will and Elizabeth were in a heated game of Scrabble. "Hi Henry," Will greeted him. Henry said hi and kissed Elizabeth on the head before heading to his room to change.

They spent the evening together, eating out and playing board games when they returned to the apartment. Henry enjoyed watching Will and Elizabeth interact. They were very much the same. They were both very smart, inquisitive and ridiculously funny. Watching the two banter back and forth was entertaining.

Henry was in the kitchen scooping ice cream for everyone when Elizabeth came in and hugged him from behind. "I was wondering if you would mind if Will goes ahead and sleeps in your bed tonight since tonight is the only night you'll both be here."

"Oh, sure. I had planned on doing that anyway. I'll just take the couch tonight. My bag is already packed, so I can just move it out and he can move his stuff in."

"Alright, but I was sort of hoping you would stay with me tonight," she murmured in his ear.

"Oh really?" Henry looked over shoulder at her. "You have plans? With your brother here?"

She smiled softly. "Not those plans, but I just want to be close to you before you are gone for four days."

"I will happily do that." He handed her two bowls. "Can you take these?"he asked as he started to clean up his ice cream mess.

Late that evening, Henry lay in Elizabeth's bed, clad in only his boxers with Elizabeth, in PJ pants and a tee, curled up at his side."I'm glad that Will was able to figure out his living arrangements last summer without causing a big headache for himself," Henry said.

"Yeah, the whole fixing up the storage space over the detached garage was a pretty brilliant idea. Did you hear him say that he didn't even see our Uncle except twice all summer? Hopefully next summer will be easier. Maybe I can help him get his own place." Elizabeth spoke softly, her breath fanning across his chest She was drawing nonsensical patterns on his chest.

He looked down at her. Her blond curls splayed across his shoulder and arm, he took in her pointed nose, her full lips, and the shape of her lean body pressed against was a heady sight and Henry felt the all too familiar warmth spread throughout his body.

Since Elizabeth's epiphany a month ago, they had been slowing working through what was and wasn't comfortable for her. As excited as Henry was about this new level of growing intimacy, he sometimes found it very frustrating as well. Then he felt like a big jerk for feeling frustrated.

Henry placed his hand on Elizabeth's, stopping her movement. She looked up at him. "God. You're beautiful." Bright crimson flooded her face and she looked away. "I have no intentions of doing anything tonight, but I just wanted you to know that." He brushed her hair back off her forehead and struggled to sit up enough to kiss her .

Elizabeth giggled. "I love you."

Henry repeated, "I love you."

The drive home Saturday was excruciating. Nervous energy was coursing through his veins and he couldn't wait to get home. While Henry knew he loved Elizabeth, he had no idea how much he would miss her. Even though he called her every evening while he was at his parents' house, it didn't help. It was as though he left part of his heart somewhere else and every thought or move revolved around what was missing.

Henry's Mom sensed it right away. He had been very closed mouthed about all that had gone on in his life in recent months. When he had been home over Spring Break, he told his mom that he had met someone, but that he didn't know if it would lead to anything. Through the summer, he conveniently skipped the detail about them moving in together because he knew that his Mom, being the devout Catholic that she was, would disapprove, and he just didn't want to hear it, especially since it was a chaste relationship. She wasn't going to know any of why that was though, because he wasn't telling any of his family anything.

But, this time had been different, his Mom saw immediately and questioned him. He ended up telling her that he was involved with someone and that it was serious and that he would bring her back with him at Christmas. That seemed to satisfy most of her questions. The living together, well that would have to be dealt with soon, but not today. Today, he just needed to get back home to Elizabeth.

After five long hours in the car, he pulled into the parking lot in front of their apartment building. Taking the steps two at a time, he dashed up to their door. He slipped the key in the lock and heard the familiar click. Opening the door, he saw her sitting on the couch and tears sprung to his eyes. He was embarrassed at his outrageous overreaction to the situation and Elizabeth was confused.

"Henry, are you okay?" She was already off the couch and closing the distance. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." he smiled. "I just missed you so much. It kind of hit me all at once." He pulled her to him. "I'm going to kiss you now." She barely had a chance to react to that before his lips were on hers,his tongue demanding access. He sensed her surprise, but was on board in no time, giving as good as she got.

Pulling away finally, she wore a coy smile. "I'd say you did miss me a lot." She glanced over his shoulder. "I think we should move this exercise elsewhere, but why don't you go ahead and close the door first, so the neighbors don't get the wrong impression of us." Henry grinned and stepped back, kicking the door shut.

"Guess what?" Elizabeth hummed into his ear. "I missed you a lot too. Come on." Elizabeth started pulling him toward her bedroom.

"Babe it's 4 in the afternoon. Don't you want to have dinner? Watch a movie? Play some Scrabble?"

"No." She looked at him shyly. " I want to make love."

Henry's eyes grew wide. "You're sure?" he asked.

"It's a leap of faith, but yes, I think I'm ready. Are you?"

"Yeah. I am." Henry tugged her back to him. "You can always tell me to stop if you need to. I don't need a reason and I would never be upset, okay?"

She pressed her body to him and tipped her head back to get a good look at him. "I know." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I love you.' Then she stepped back and took his hand and led him to her bed.