Chapter the Ninth, in Which a Laundryman's Secret is Hinted at.
What is Soapy Washer up to ? Will Altair take his sword to be blessed ? Exactly what is Dr Hix not telling everyone about his homoeopathic coffee treatment ? Mr Cutter seems to have secrets of his own. Will Ned encounter Pastor Nutt ?
Keep on reading as new chapters are published to find out what is going on.
It was almost the evening of the full moon. Men had continued production as ever during the day, but less timber had been harvested than usual. Normally a lumberjack would put his full concentration and effort into the day's work. There was such a thing as professional pride after all. (1) On this day, something was being held back in anticipation of the possibility of needing to be less tired in the evening.
Soapy Washer had made sure he was ahead of his work by the time the day had even dawned. He had his own reasons to be worried that trouble would come, and wasn't looking forward to the inevitable revelation of why he was laundryman at this camp. So far nobody had realised his real business, which was far more difficult and dangerous. (2) He checked his special equipment and was gratified that there was so much iron in it. He had long since rectified a tendency to clumsiness with tools. Practising Extreme Ironing (3) had drummed it out of him and drummed in a remarkable dexterity instead.
Altair ibn Rashid had made sure breakfast was hearty. Most men stuck to two meals a day here, wanting to ensure they did as much work as possible during their shift. He put on a modest noontide meal for those who wanted it, but made sure it was filling. The men with axes were being thrifty with their strength today, and he intended to ensure that strength was kept up. Before he prepared a simple but fortifying supper of corned beef hash, he checked his own kit for the scimitar and spike – topped helmet that usually accompanied him on his travels. (4) He might not be a warrior, but there were dangers in the world. A prudent man took precautions. During quieter times during the day he used a kitchen whetstone to further hone the sword's already razor – sharp edge. If unwelcome visitors should turn up he would have a greeting with which to welcome them, ready at hand.
Mightily Oats spent his day at the work face with the other woodsmen. For one so widely travelled and experienced as he, it was not hard to tell that a blend of grim determination leavened with anxiety had taken hold of his colleagues. He concentrated on his work, Forgiveness rising and striking as required. He did not draw others into unnecessary conversation, but took his cue from the others and laboured diligently whilst conserving his strength. He quietly prayed to Om that He would at least show favour to Pastor Nutt and his followers. The younger priest's original people might have been Igor – made for such situations (5) but Nutt had so far only ever applied his tactical abilities on a foot - the - ball field. (6)
Dr Hix had spent much of the day in his tent, alternating between researching the nature of the Gentry, (7) communing with the local discarnate spirits and preparing the coffee spell. The ghosts had not been complimentary about his abilities as an impresario, a deflating experience for the kind of wizard whose specialist discipline relies heavily on theatricality. Generally speaking, the spirits will only bother to turn up if the post – mortem – communicator (not 'necromancer') has put on a good enough show to impress them. They were willing to be co operative (though critical) at this juncture, through their thirst to be avenged upon their tormentors and murderers. He had once again tried to find out how they planned to do this. Either they were refusing to be drawn on the subject or there was something he didn't understand about their 'Sweevo will provide' answer to his reminder to them of the taboo against the discarnate slaying the living (7a). He hoped his preparations would be adequate and checked to ensure that his staff was charged with sufficient magic to provide him with plenty of fireballs should they be needed. He wondered if he should tell them about the amplifying effects of the homoeopathic spell if treated liquid encountered other fluids, until the spell wore off.
No point really, it would work in the camp's favour anyway. And Dr Hix loved a surprise.
Hickory Cutter had also worked diligently and carefully through the day. He was well aware of what was coming. It was the reason he was there, and it wasn't going to be pleasant. Meanwhile he performed the work expected of a lumberjack, and was on the rota for preparing the burnt offering that evening. Reverend Snorrisson had asked everyone to bring tools (mainly axes) to be blessed at evening prayers after supper. Some religions might ask for at least a modest period of abstinence before a religious service but not Sweevonianism. Sweevo, God of Cut Timber, knew that His disciples needed to keep their strength up.
Ned was more jittery than usual. He wasn't alone. The other equines could also feel that something bad was coming. They had taken longer than Ned to become unsettled as they had far less experience of the world than Pastor Oats' ass.
Pastor Nutt and his men had begun, axes in hand, to cautiously take up positions discreetly backing up the camp's own guards. (9) It wouldn't do to give themselves away too quickly. That could only cause confusion.
(1)Not to mention sheer machismo.
(2)Yes, he was working under an assumed name. But to be fair, he could iron like a demon.
(3)An extreme sport even on Roundworld. Deliberately ironing clothes in extreme environments.
(4)There's no hidden agenda here. And those items seemed so Klatchian...
(5)Orc, remember.
(6)See Sir Terry's Unseen Academicals. Getting wizards to work together had been an achievement.
(7)He could see the potential for a second doctorate here, as well as immediately useful material...
(7a)Mentioned in Sir Terry's Wyrd Sisters as why Verence I should not kill Felmet.
(9)Nutt's presence wasn't helping the animals' disquiet, but it was a tactical risk he needed to take.
