Ulquiorra groaned tiredly as the phone by his bed rang shrilly. No. Nuh-uh. He was not going to wake up and answer to phone, not when he was sick, not when it was probably a solicitor anyway. He squeezed his eyes shut, wriggling a little and balling more into himself to keep warm.. He had pulled his soft blanket up to his neck, and his comforter up to his temple so that his breath came back at him and warmed his face and shoulders. The phone stopped ringing. No one knew it, and hopefully no one ever would, but Ulquiorra was a creaturtous comfortous deep inside himself. He didn't allow himself that weakness very often, but there were some things he just couldn't help. And he loved cacooning.
With the room now silent again, Ulquiorra resigned himself to go back to sleep. He wasn't going to lie and say he was upset about that. And he was almost gone, too, when the phone started up again and shocked him out of it. He resisted the childish urge to growl, hunching more into himself a if he could block out the annoying noise. He was determined to just sleep. It wasn't going to be anyone he knew, either- it was Monday, he wasn't going to bother to check what time but about mid-morning, and everyone was in school already.
The caller called him four more times before he finally snapped and grabbed the damn phone.
"I'm not interested in what you're sell-" After that, the only thing that would come out of his mouth were rib-shaking coughs that grated against the inside of his chest. Great. Just great. He trued to speak through them, but only snippets of words could come out at a time and he cursed himself in his head. All he wanted was to tell the caller to stop bothering him and hang up the phone so he could sleep, and even that was beyond him at the moment.
"Woah, woah, hey," an agitatingly familiar voice said quickly, "calm down. Just breathe. Just-"
"Shut up," Ulquiorra snapped breathlessly. Of course. After all, besides him there was one other person not in school on this oh-so-fine day.
"Hey, ouch, Rude McSnappypants," Grimmjow said airily. "Jesus, what kind of cold have you got? That cough was killer- and you sound all nasal and shit."
"What a coincidence, so do you," Ulquiorra deadpanned.
"Yeah, well, that's cuz-"
"I'm well aware what happened," Ulquiorra clipped. "How did you get my phone number?"
"I got it from Coyote forever ago," Grimmjow said offhandedly.
"Well please promptly lose it," Ulquiorra said.
"No thanks."
Ulquiorra tried not to let himself boil over. This was absolutely the last thing he needed right in that moment. "Excellent," he murmured to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose to stop an oncoming headache that he doubted was the sinus pressure.
"Isn't it?" Grimmjow asked cheerily, ignoring Ulquiorra's cynicism in the way he had a tendency to. "Hey, aren't you going to thank me for taking care of Nnoitra for you? I got all busted up protecting you, y'know." Ulquiorra seethed, hand tightening on the receiver. He was not in the mood for this, not at all, and Grimmjow's carefree, confident attitude was irritating him further. He had thought that he had some time during which he could relax and not have to worry about the blue-haired quarterback's advances, but here Grimmjow called him at home. Ulquiorra's lips pressed tighter together.
"Help me?" he said coldly, "how have you helped me? You got into a useless fistfight and injured someone who already despises me, and did so openly stating that you did it for me. And Nnoitra has now been kicked off the football team, so he isn't going to fool around anymore. Every bruise you put on him, you put on me. And then you dared to call and brag about it. Now, if you don't mind, I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm going back to bed, so don't bother calling back."
"Hey- wai-" Ulquiorra slammed the phone down before Grimmjow could finish. Damn. Damn damn damn. Ulquiorra heaved an angry sigh, knowing that what he had told Grimmjow was true. He hoped Grimmjow felt horribly guilty. Of course, he wasn't holding out hope; he wasn't stupid enough to expect anything from that deviant, not even a shred of basic human feeling.
Ulquiorra curled back into himself as if he would actually be able to sleep again. He needed to, he wanted to, but now his thoughts were agitated and jumpy and not at all conducive to rest. He inwardly cursed. Damn that boy! It was ridiculous of him to call Ulquiorra's house just to brag for brownie points over his useless actions, and while he knew Ulquiorra was sick at that.
When the phone rang again a few minutes later he didn't bother to pick up.
Ulquiorra jolted as Lilinette crashed through the door to his bedroom, wondering mutely how she'd gotten into his house. She looked like a wild creature, her hair strewn about and her eyes wide. He saw her panting. She looked at him a second, and relief washed over her face- then she got mad.
"What is wrong with you?" she shouted, and Ulquiorra blinked at her. "I called you six times! Why didn't you answer? I was worried sick!"
"I apologize," Ulquiorra said honestly. "Someone else called me earlier just to bother me, and I though he was calling back because I hung up. I would have picked it up if I had known it was you."
"Don't you have caller ID?" Lilinette asked, as exasperated as she looked.
"No," Ulquiorra answered.
"Well then you need to get some!" the swimmer declared. "I skipped out of fourth to come and make sure you were okay!"
"Thank you, Lilinette," Ulquiorra said, truly thankful for such a gesture, "but why ould you feel the need to do that? You saw me this morning, and I was fine."
"Grimmjow called me," Lilinette said, and Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes. Couldn't Grimmjow stop meddling for just one day? "He said he'd called you, and you coughed like a dying man! He wanted me to check on you 'cause he knew you wouldn't answer if he called, but when I tried you wouldn't fucking pick up!" Ulquiorra's eyebrows raised; he had never heard Lilinette cuss before just that moment. Coming from someone who looked so childish, it was incredibly strange (and also slightly comical). Lilinette strode forward and put the back of her hand to Ulquiorra's forehead.
"See, you have a fever," he said. "And your throat sounds all scratchy. Were you really coughing?"
"I was," Ulquiorra said, "but it's really wasn't so bad. I've had some tea, and that helps." He didn't want to tell Lilinette how much he'd really been hacking, not when she was already so high-strung over his health, but he had a feeling he knew just what he'd come down with.
"Well, then, I'll go make you more tea," Lilinette said, standing up and looking like she was going to do just that.
"I have some already," Ulquiorra said, showing her the thermos on the bedside table. Thankfully it's top was still secure on it, so Lilinette couldn't see that Ulquiorra had sucked it dry already. "You need to go back to school."
"But-"
"We only have a week and a half until midterms," Ulquiorra said firmly. "You can't afford to miss class. I'm fine. Go." The way she looked at him like she was weighing all the options made him think of Orihime back home.
"Promise you'll pick up the phone?" she asked skeptically.
"I promise," Ulquiorra said.
"And you'll call me if you need anything?"
"Of course."
Lilinette hesitated, but couldn't think of another argument to stay. Finally she said, "Alright, fine. I'll go back to school- but so help me sweet infant Jesus if I call you and you don't pick up-"
"That won't happen," Ulquiorra cut off her threat, choosing not to say anything about her choice of deities to swear to. "I promise. Now go, I still be here after school gets out." The dubious look on Lilinette's face didn't fade, but she turned to leave with one last backward glance. He was glad she'd agreed without more coercing. He swallowed thickly and felt his dry throat burn.
He slowly clambered out of bed to go fill up the thermos.
