Sam groggily opened her eyes and tried to sit; wincing at the pain it induced in her abdomen and on her arms. She frowned as she forced her mind to focus on the cause of the injuries, and the reason for her being….
Averting her gaze, she forced her eyes back shut as the images of the night's events flitted in front of them like random stills from a film. A face, a body, a hard erection pressed inside her, tearing at her flesh.
She fought back the gag reflex in the back of her throat and hurriedly stumbled out of bed. As she remembered Janet's humiliating examination, hairs plucked from her body and swabs that grazed her already tender and sore body, she realised that she couldn't stay there, couldn't stay trapped with her own thoughts and imagination.
Sam quickly pulled on a spare pair of the infirmary pyjamas, no fatigues or BDUs at hand. She needed to get out of here, find something to do, something that focused her mind so she didn't have time to drift.
"Sam, honey, are you sure…"
The blonde jumped at the unexpected sound and looked up to see Janet Frasier looking troubled. She had wanted to sneak out without disturbing the doctor, she knew how fiercely protective she could be and didn't want to cause any problems.
But then again, she had already caused problems, she thought, a wave of guilt crashing over her as she thought of what Janet must be going through. It wasn't fair of her to put these stresses on her best friend, when she had issues of her own to deal with.
"I'm fine," Sam retorted. She felt uncomfortable at how harsh her voice had sounded, but she didn't want to argue, she just wanted out.
"Sam," her friend continued insistently, "I really think you ought to stay here. At least for a little while."
The pressure she was laying on made the Major bristle slightly. How could Janet not understand that she wanted to get out of here? After everything she had been forced to go through….
"I have work to do," she said, glaring at the redhead. "A few bumps and bruises never stopped me before. And besides, my reports can't wait much longer. Hammond has been waiting for weeks."
She finished lacing her boots with a violent tug, far stronger than was necessary, before striding to the door, attempting to exude calm and confidence.
"Goooooood morning, Major," chirped a voice, sending Sam rocketing skyward once more.
So much for calm and confident.
She flashed a glance at him, then looked towards the door. She really needed to get out of here as quick as possible. She couldn't face him, not now, not after he had seen her naked like that. Naked and vulnerable and overreacting.
Yes, she had overreacted. When she thought about it logically, all it was, was sex. Yes, it was rough sex, but it wasn't like she'd never experience a bit of that before. So why was she acting like such an idiot?
Sam shifted uncomfortably, trying to work out how to get out of there without offending anyone. Her best bet was the usual excuse.
"Sorry, Sir, I have work to do," she told him, a semi truth. She did have work to do, a lot of it in fact, but in reality, it wouldn't hurt to let it sit a few more hours.
Her CO shifted slightly. "Carter, if you want to talk…."
If she wanted to talk! Colonel Jack O'Neill had no idea how to talk, not about the sensitive things, at least. He was a man of hugs, of physical comfort, not emotional and intellectual reassurance.
Physical comfort? Did he just want to get her alone so that…
Sam shook the thought from her head. This was paranoia, letting the whole thing get to her. It deeply frustrated the usually rational scientist, how logic was being discourteously thrown out of the window to be replaced by absurdities like this. Jack O'Neill would never hurt her.
But that aside, talking wasn't what she wanted to do right now. She wanted to forget it ever happened, think about something else, not dwell on the matter as if it were fodder for the base grapevine.
"Busy," she replied simply.
"Right. Busy."
As Jack moved aside to let her past, Sam felt herself release the breath she never realised she was holding. Never so grateful for the amount of people in the mountain, she quickly navigated the busy corridors down to her lab.
She opened her door and stepped inside, her heartbeat quickening as she fumbled for the light. Fear coursed through her veins as she flicked the switch on, revealing a typically empty lab. She cursed herself for her irrationality as she sat down and booted up her computer.
As she waited, she yawned and stretched, though the tensed muscles sent quivers of pain through her. She couldn't understand how the sedatives left her feeling so groggy.
The sedatives. She had been furious at Janet for making her take them. She was distrustful of medication at the best of times, and the dependency that the body had on it, but it was more than that.
She hadn't wanted to sleep. Having her eyes closed, being unconscious… it made her feel vulnerable. She remembered how she came round the night before, covered in bruises whose origins she didn't know. At least if she was conscious she could kick or fight or scream. And Janet, her best friend, had left her helpless.
Sam leant forward and pinched the bridge of her nose, before glancing up at the waiting screen.
