Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.
AN: Well, here we go, the first chapter in tandem with 'Blossoming' and without any rushing through facts, so probably less confusing. I'm gonna try and give you an update every Tuesday and Saturday, but I can't promise anything ;) My dance classes start again tomorrow, and I'm gonna be working on a recital with my girls until December 13th, so those should keep me pretty busy. Of course I'm gonna try and get in as much writing time as I can! Hope you enjoy this one!!!
What is wrong with me?!
~*~
POV: Nessie
~*~
"Ness… Please talk to me" Jake pleaded with me. I was standing by his window, staring outside into nothingness. While he sat on the edge of the bed, his head hanging down leaning on his hands. This has been going on for almost an entire day, ever since Nadira and I confessed everything to each other. Apart from feeling miserable about keeping things from him, I was actually hurting physically.
"It's… I don't you distracted coming Saturday" I sighed, how did I ever think I was going to hide this from him.
"Maybe if you told me, I wouldn't be" he stated.
"Well the thing is, this army that is coming, the battle you're going to fight, it's huge. But besides being worried that you or someone else is going to get hurt, I'm afraid the Volturi will realize what's going on. Did Alice ever tell you, about the fact that the Volturi is extremely curious how I would developed?" he nodded slightly and his eyes turned dark with anger.
"They will never be able to do any of that to you, the idea alone-" he started shaking violently, enabling him to continue.
I stepped closer to the bed, to cradle his head in my arms, he pressed his face into my belly and inhaled deeply. Then he did something that shook me to the very core of my being, he pressed a kiss right below my navel, something I would have imagined him to do if I would be carrying a baby.
The gesture was very sweet and he undoubtedly meant it to be soothing, but I broke down in tears and collapsed onto his shoulder. Never have I been so emotional as the last week, ever since my baby obsession had started to manifest itself, I had mentally let myself become a wreck.
"Ness? baby?" Jakes shuddering had ceased instantly.
"Ja-hake" sobbing his name loudly, I pressed myself to him as hard as I could.
"Nessie, you're scaring me" panic seeped from his voice, while he held me close.
"I wanna have babies so bad!" I howled into his chest.
"Oh Ness, I had no idea that you were thinking about it this much" panic was quickly replaced with sympathy.
"I am, and can't stand not knowing, having to wait and see" I pulled away just enough to look at him, which wasn't easy, because he was still holding me tightly.
He gazed into my eyes lovingly, placing a kiss on my forehead, before leaning his to mine. My hands slid up from his chest, to rest them on his cheeks, before putting my lips to his softly, tenderly. There was nothing he could say that would ease my pain, but his love for me would provide some sort of comfort.
He was kissing me back, applying more pressure, but keeping his pace slow. His hands moved over my back caressing me softly, grazing my skin with his fingertips, while my arms found their way around his neck. Usually we were wild, fast, rough, but that came out of need, the desire we each felt for the other. But this was meant to be loving, caring and sweet.
His hands gripped my thighs, following my curves, he moved upwards taking my satin nightgown with him, lifting it over my head. Then he laid me down on the bed, stripping my panties down my legs and over my feet. He removed his boxers before he placed himself between my legs, lowering his body to mine.
My legs wrapped around his lips, while my arms snaked around his neck so I could bury my hands in his hair, clinging to him as best as I could. His arms held my torso close, my bare breasts against his hard chest. He flipped us over, not letting our bodies lose contact and aligned himself with my entrance, thrusting in slowly.
Needing the closeness we held each other tight, keeping our bodies plastered to each other, creating friction with only the movement of our hips. Our mating dance seemed to last forever as the lack of movement created insufficient friction to bring us to our climax any sooner. But it was perfect when we finally did, it wasn't the abrupt exploding we were familiar with, but simply falling as we reached our peak almost simultaneously.
As the week was closing in on us, Saturday drew nearer, we seemed unable to keep refrain from touching each other. Jake realized what kind of terror this fight embodied for me. My fiancé, my entire family and my best friend were going into battle while I stayed behind. Since my family didn't want me to be alone, Jake would drop me off in LaPush at Tom and Leah's.
~*~
Saturday was here, the light peeking through the curtains, made it undeniable for us to ignore the arriving of the day. We had spent the night at my place and for once we didn't care that my family could hear us, sure that they all would understand. Saying goodbye to them was heart wrenching, and it took forever since I didn't want to let go of them. But eventually we got in the car and drove to LaPush.
Then it started all over again, I thought I would have run out of tears with the amount I had cried earlier, but with Nadira in my arms, I started all over again. Jake was the worst to say goodbye to, kissing him through the salt wetness on my cheeks. At some point he forced himself to release me and left with Embry and Nadira.
Traveling there wouldn't take them long, but they didn't know what time they would arrive exactly, all Alice could tell us, it wouldn't be before noon this day. Even after they disappeared I couldn't bring myself to go inside with the others, hoping I would be able to hear them somehow. Though it was pointless, being half vampire, made my hearing less than that of a full vampire or a werewolf. So I was forced to wait, just sit and wait for word from ant of them.
At some point Leah came outside and dragged me inside, telling me I needed to eat, but I didn't feel like eating. What made matters considerably worse, was the fact that their two month old twins were being ridiculously cute lying in their playpen. Was it necessary to be confronted with babied, just as I was in the middle of my what-if-I-can't-have-babies freak out? Apparently it was.
I tried to keep away from them as much I could, but when Leah was changing Brandon, Kaylee started wailing and Leah asked me to get her. Reluctantly I raised her into my arms, her small body almost disappeared into my embrace.
I sat down on the couch, while she was curiously looking up at me, she was the absolutely adorable. Her little arms were swaying around as if trying to reach something, but since she was so young, that wasn't such an easy job, so when her small chubby hand touched my cheek involuntarily I was totally mesmerized with her.
Yup, there came the waterworks again, as if on cue tears started running down my face. What is wrong with me these days, you would think I had just invented crying and was now unable to stop myself from pouring out, all day long. From that point on I kept Kaylee close to me, relishing the softness of her skin and the deliciousness of her smell. Leah kept looking at me with clear amusement, but never said anything and just let me be.
Waiting had become bearable with her in my arms, but when Leah put the twins to bed in their room, emptiness overtook me again. The three of us were sitting in the living room, uncomfortable silence filled the room. As I glanced at the clock I could see they had already been gone for six hours, but I couldn't decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. Suddenly an unfamiliar voice filled my head.
"Mommy, are you ok?" it startled me so much I shot up straight.
"I'm sure Bella is fine" Leah answered the voice slightly confused. Had she heard it too? I would have sworn it had sounded in my head and not out loud.
"I didn't say anything" I breathed, what the hell was going on?!
"You didn't, that's weird, I was sure I heard something" Leah said shrugging her shoulders.
But tom kept staring at me, his eyes wide in shock.
"Your lips didn't move, but I heard you so clearly, as if you were speaking directly into my ear" he whispered.
"I heard it too, but… it wasn't me" I replied softly.
~*~
The day turned into night and still no word from them, Jake had made Nadira and Fathiya lave their cell phones. Otherwise he was afraid the imprints wouldn't be able to keep calling each other and he needed everybody to remain focused. I hated that he had done that, but I knew he had made the right decision, because if I would have had the option, I would have called him now.
During the night I kept tossing and turning restlessly, nightmares occupied my unconsciousness. Images of a wounded russet wolf, slumping to the ground, bleeding excessively kept switching with flashes of family members lying lifeless on the floor, on top of that Nadira screaming with pain while being tortured by a vampire who I imagined to be her father.
When I woke a sick feeling came over me, as the image still played vividly before my eyes. I had to run to the bathroom, to prevent me from retching all over the carpet, I was utterly grateful that Nadira had her own bathroom directly linked to her room. I quickly took a shower and brushed my teeth thoroughly, before going downstairs.
Tom was there with the twins and he seemed slightly overwhelmed, I took Kaylee from his arms. It's wrong to have a favorite when it comes to kids, whether they are your own or someone else's. But I couldn't help it, I was in love with this little creature and loved carrying her with me.
"Where's Leah?" I asked, turning to see what time it was, 9 in the morning, they had been gone for almost 24 hours now.
"You just missed her, she went to the store to pick up some things she'd forgotten" Tom replied, not even half an hour later Leah returned and was eying me suspiciously as I was playing with Kaylee, hope she didn't mind me hovering over her daughter this much.
"Nessie can I talk to you for a sec?" Leah asked while taking the little girl out of my arms, apparently she did mind.
"Sure" I replied as I followed her into the hallway.
"I picked you something up from the store" she said while handing me a brown paper bag, I opened it and peered inside, curious to see what it was, gasping loudly when I did.
"What- Why?" I breather as I lifted my head back up again to meet her eyes.
"I have my reasons, just trust me" she said knowingly.
"Now?" I asked stupidly.
"Yes now" Leah laughed as she shooed me upstairs.
I went into Nadira's room and straight into the bathroom, I heard Leah follow me up the stairs and she was sitting on Nadira's bed when I came out again. She looked at me encouragingly when it was time, so I let my eyes drop to my hands, to the pregnancy test I was holding.
Tears reappeared where they seemed to have taken new residence, in my eyes, rolling down, dripping onto my shirt. Leah gave me a one handed hug, since she was holding Kaylee in the other. After a while, my crying subsided and she started handing me her little girl again, but she paused before placing her in my hands.
"Are you ok to hold her?" Leah asked me and I nodded, nothing would make me feel better than holding her right now.
We made our way downstairs again, but before going back to the living room I heard them coming and we rushed outside where Embry and Nadira came towards us. Where was Jake? Nadira had a huge smile on her face and she took me and her sister into a hug.
"Don't worry, he had promised Sam a report the moment he got back, he'll be here soon" she whispered in my ear and my fear released its grip on me slightly, but I had to know about my family.
"Is everybody alright, did anybody get hurt?" I asked anxiously.
"There were some wounded, but nothing major, we were quite successful" she stated happily.
"Why were you so late?" I wanted to know everything, I kept unloading questions on her.
As it turned out, they didn't even arrive until an hour before dawn this morning. Nadira and her sister Fathiya had been able to tap into their powers and dispose of a bunch of vamps, before they realized what was going on. But even when they did, they couldn't do much about it, because they were being simultaneously attacked by wolves. She told me evrything up until the point where they had defeated their opponents and healing there wounded, before coming back to LaPush.
"What about your father?" I asked, but before she could answer me, Jake entered my vision. Nadira quickly took Kaylee from me and I ran towards Jake, throwing myself on him, letting him catch me easily.
"Hey sweetie" he whispered in my ear as he held me close.
"I'm so glad you're back" I sobbed.
"Mommy, don't be sad, daddy's here" a small voice chirped in our thoughts, I recognized the voice from yesterday and suddenly things clicked, conjuring the biggest smile possible on my face. While Jake was torn in confusion, between being concerned and happy, since I so clearly was.
"Did you hear that? What was that?" he asked bewildered while putting me down. I grabbed his hand and placed it over the lower part of my belly.
"That's our baby" I said gently while peering into his beautiful dark eyes.
AN: As we're taking on a different route, I would love to hear your opinion on it ;)
