CHAPTER 9 – THE JOY AND THE AGONY OF INTIMACY (PART 1/?)

Kyoko was beginning to regret accepting his help, after all, someone as self-conscious as she would never be comfortable in such an embarrassing situation. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning, and someone else was, at that ungrateful hour, buying something that she, as a careful woman, should always have at hand. To make matters worse, Kuon had left half an hour ago and there was no sign of him.

How much time did he need to buy... that? The grocery store was in his building, for God's sake! The whole thing should be summed up by getting off the elevator, getting into the store, picking up the package, paying and getting up the elevator. It would only take ten minutes at the most! What was holding him back so long?

She herself would have gone, were it not for the shrill scream she let out when she found herself unprepared, and just on a day when she would sleep in his apartment. He seemed willing to break the bathroom door in his distress to protect her from whatever made her scream like that, and it was precisely his worried, urgent tone that made her reveal that she had suffered a "female accident".

In short, he was reassured at the expense of her mortification. Never in her life did she imagine herself in the situation of telling such a thing to a man, whoever he might be.

Kuon seemed to have everything under control when he sighed in relief and assured her that he could go to the supermarket for her. He demonstrated such ease before the embarrassing situation she believed she was in that Kyoko felt compelled to admit that there was no point in running the risk of displaying her condition as a woman if he was so willing to help her. Eager, even. It was not easy to say no when he behaved like a man on a noble mission.

Like a knight in shining armor of modern times, he put on his helmet (a cap), took his sword (his wallet) and set off confidently to inhospitable lands (the supermarket) in order to win the battle that awaited him (the purchase of a pack of sanitary pads). After all, Kyoko was a damsel in distress.

After convincing herself that his supposed familiarity with the subject came from his mother (since it was still unpleasant to think about the countless women he had), Kyoko accepted the help he offered. He looked so happy when she finally agreed, that at first she thought she had made the right choice. With his inexplicable delay, however, regret began to stretch its neck and show its ugly face.

Finally, the phone rang and, as expected, it was him.

"By God, Kuon! What is going on? Why such a delay?"

"It's so fascinating!"

"Fascinating? What's fascinating about feminine hygiene?"

Kyoko was about to discover that he had no familiarity with the subject.

"Who knew, right? I also thought there was nothing interesting about it, so imagine my surprise! I've always ignored this corridor, of course, but I've just discovered an entire unexplored universe and-"

"Kuon, just get the damn pack and come back here!"

To Kyoko, the thing was beyond embarrassing; Kuon, for his part, seemed to appreciate the situation a little more than he should, in her opinion.

"I would do that if I knew which one I should get..."

"That's easy: whatever!"

All she wanted was to get over that torture and go to sleep. It was not because they would only have work at night that they would waste hours of sleep with nonsense.

"That won't do, Little Squirrel! They would not make them in so many types and sizes if 'whatever' was good enough. Which one do you use?"

"W-what kind of indiscreet question is that? Y-you do not need to know such intimate details of mine!"

"That's not what the engagement ring on your finger says... If we're getting married - and we definitely are! - we will live together. Sooner or later I will know every little and intimate detail about you and-"

"Kuon, don't you think I'm embarrassed enough?" Her whining voice contained an obvious supplication he would never have ignored, had it not been for the fact that the whole ordeal was too much fun and interesting to miss.

"Well, if you do not tell me I'll have to guess and then I'll take more time". Of course Kyoko noticed that he completely ignored her question (and plea). "From what I understand, they are divided into tampons and pads. I'm… going to make a bold guess and exclude the tampons, since I can imagine you blushing to your toes just thinking about... inserting them". He almost laugh at the strangled sound she made. "My problem now is that the pads are so varied, that I cannot tell which one you use. I mean, those with flaps seem more practical because they promise to fix better in panties, but you've surprised me more than once with your unusual choices, so yeah I'm clueless about it... and there's also the covering, the menstrual flow... you'd say that your flow is intense, moderate or light?"

Kyoko could clearly hear, in the background, the sound of the packages being handled. She was on the verge of a breakdown as she imagined the Tsuruga Ren reading labels of sanitary pads for someone on the cell phone, at three o'clock in the morning, while he considered himself an ace of disguise for wearing a fucking cap (she loved him with all her heart but God how stupid he was sometimes!).

"There are those with and without perfume. Oh, there are nightly pads too! They were my first choice, you know. After all, it's night, but then it seemed too obvious and... Hey, you still there?"

It was the last straw for her. To the threat that followed, he felt like a child again and cursed the day he left her talking to Julie without the supervision of a "responsible adult", that is, either him or Kuu.

"Kuon. Alexander. Hizuri! I do not want a goddamn pad anymore, I'm going to sleep without it and I will not mind if I stain your expensive Egyptian cotton sheets! Either you come back here right now or I'm going to spend a whole month without talking to you!"

Far from making an absurd threat like his mother's, Kyoko's seemed so plausible that he wasted no time in saying goodbye before he hung up the phone and returned to the apartment as fast as he could.

Five minutes later, a contrite Kuon knocked on the bathroom door and winced at Kyoko's irritated expression. She did not remain angry with him for much longer, however: it was enough that she realized that he was loaded with shopping bags to be completely disarmed. In doubt, Kuon had literally bought a pack of each.

She immediately forgave him. He knew how to be adorable when he wanted to. Even more when he did not want to. In fact, it was a burden to try to stay angry with someone so adorably baka.

N / A - Yes, I just gave a middle name to Kuon. And yes, I really hope that someday he'll let Kyoko know that he associates her with a cute little squirrel XD