One day you have to stop running from the world

A/N: Okay…so this chapter is sort of insane…..sorry. It's not too bad because it's only Tony talking…but…ah…it's not a risk you should be willing to take ever again.

MORAL OF THIS CHAPTER: Do not give Tony Stark a mike.

Chapter 9

After completing their mission in Vegas and beating the crap out of 3 drug lords Natasha and Clint were back at SHIELD.

And the silence that followed them was deadly suspicious. Usually there were always whispers that followed Natasha everywhere she went – especially during the last few days because of the rumors about her and Bruce.

"Clint...what happened while we were on our mission…?" she asked slowly. He shook his head.

"I don't know Natasha – but I have this feeling we're about to find out…" he said warily as they approached the crowd that was huddled around the entrance to the SHIELD cafeteria.

The door swung open the reveal the severely packed cafeteria with two Avengers standing on a makeshift podium in the center of the room. Bruce was holding a stack of papers while Tony had a mike (who the hell would give him a mike?) and he was reading off each of the cards one by one.

"…and Agent Jones had a freaking 3 week liaison with Agent Crystalline during their away mission to Kentucky. Last winter. With the chickens. Why did we write that Bruce?" Tony paused in his list of dirty secrets and glanced at his partner in crime. Bruce shrugged. He didn't know what the hell they were doing during the time Tony was hacking into the systems and found this information.

"Whatever. Agent Taylor has a fetish … for cabbages and bagels? What do you do with – you know what? I'm not going to ask. Agent Carlos was the crossdresser who flashed everyone at the Christmas party last year…oh shit…Fury is going to kill you Carlos. Run," Tony said looking up from his cards and they all watched agent Carlos hightail it out of the cafeteria and dive out a 2 story window. At least we knew SHIELD agents were creative.

"Okay…back to the list. Agent Mendel did it with a bunch farm animals behind…oh dear god the SHIELD garbage dump? What the heck Mendel? Anyway. Agent Martinez disappeared to Madagascar and - okay that is censored shit. I am doing you all a favor by not telling you what he did. Martinez if you're listening you better keep your trap shut about any rumors you may ever hear. Seriously. This is disgusting," Tony said pointing at the paper in front of him. Bruce rolled his eyes. He was honestly shocked by the amount of shit Tony found about every single agent in SHIELD. Every single last one.

"Agent Mode you and your pet kangaroo – alright I've had enough! What is it with you people whose name starts with the letter M and abusing animals? Give me the female pile Bruce," Tony demanded as he tossed the letter M's onto the ground. Bruce passed his best friend the pile with a lot more writing on it.

"Alright let's see. Agent White and agent Hill…damn. I respect you girls. You were the ones who let loose an army of scorpions at Agent Ross's bachelor party to get back at his security team for crashing your marksmanship competition? When was this? Why wasn't I invited? This is brilliant. Agent Jamie you were the one who stuck the invisible fireworks on Fury's comfy chair? Are you serious? I WANTED TO DO THAT! Damn we need to collaborate some time. Call me," Tony said pointing at the red face girl sitting in the crowd. Many people were red faced at the moment.

"And now for our real announcement today and our reason for hijacking your organization. Say it Bruce. Say it loud. Say it proud," Tony said handing Bruce the mike. Bruce slowly brought the mike to his face and took a deep breath. He would never do something like this in a million years if it wasn't because of the man standing beside him. He looked out into the crowd and froze as his eyes instantly locked with the shocked ones of Natasha Romanoff. He wasn't able to pick out her utter shock – because frankly everyone was feeling the same thing at the moment. He sort of missed being able to feel her emotions separate from everyone else.

"Natasha…Natasha and I aren't together. But even if we were, even if we are, even if one day we ever do get together – it's no one's god damn business except our own!" he ended heatedly. Clint whistled quietly. He had to hand it to the Doc. He had balls. Balls of steel. And an insane best friend.

Silence.

The doctor has spoken.

Tony promptly took the microphone back and resumed his previous actions.

"And to top it all off I have evidence, EVIDENCE OF NICK FURY -" Tony started to say but Bruce promptly slammed his hand over Tony's mouth and ripped the slip of paper into a million pieces.

"WE ARE NOT GETTING FIRED FOR THIS YOU HEAR ME?" Bruce shouted at the depressed looking genius.

"Fine," Tony muttered. He still had one more thing left to say.

"Then the last thing we will leave you with is the god honest truth. Steve Rogers is still a virgin. He has no dirt. He has got nothing on him. He is the only one allow in this godforsaken organization to say ANYTHING about ANYONE! UNDERSTOOD? SO THERE! NOW EVERYONE HAS DIRT ON EVERY SINGLE OTHER AGENT IN THIS ORGANIZATION! NO ONE IS INNOCENT! SO LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE! Thank you for your time," Tony finished with a dramatic bow. He promptly picked up the pile of cards, grabbed Bruce by the scruff of his collar and ran out the back door.

Everyone blinked.

Natasha and Clint slowly backed away from the doorway and quickly slipped out of the hall before anyone realized who they were.

"Natasha…" he said slowly as they put as much distance between them and the rest of the angry agents who were simply in shock at the moment. This was about to start a war.

"Clint…" she said sounding equally disturbed. They took one look at each other - and burst out laughing.

"THAT WAS INSANE!" Clint gasped as he leaned against the wall of the staircase. Natasha nearly had tears coming out of her eyes. She hasn't cried in years!

"Was that even all Stark?" she asked shaking her head and replaying the evil look she saw in Bruce's eyes. She's never seen the mischievous side of him before. Why was that? He looked years younger when he had that odd gleam in his eyes.

"Oh god no. Stark definitely needed help to pull that off. What I don't understand is how on earth did they bank enough time to get through every single agent in SHIELD without Fury coming down here to kick their ass?" Clint asked in amazement. Natasha calmed down enough to actually consider that for a second.

"…If Fury wasn't at that massive rumor show – where was he…?" she asked cautiously.

The two partners froze as they heard a rumble in the floor above them.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"RUN BRUCE! RUN FASTER!" Tony's voice was heard from the top floor as they both burst into the staircase and started flying down the stairs with hundreds of bullets flying over their heads.

"THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER DO A PRANK WITH YOU AGAIN!" Bruce shrieked as he ducked as a machine gun started firing at them.

"HOW DARE YOU LOCK ME IN A CLOSET AND HIJACK MY ORGANIZATION FOR A PRANK!" Fury screamed as he ran after them.

Clint and Natasha shared a wary look.

"The current object of your affections and his best friend are going to be the death of the Avengers. Mark my words Tasha," he said before he shot down the stairs and bolted out the front door.

"THE OBJECT OF WHAT?" she shouted as she ran after him. He always ran away after he pissed her off.

"NEVER AGAIN TONY! NEVER AGAIN!" Bruce yelled with promise.

"Ah the sound of love," Tony said with an accomplished look on his face.

BANG! A bullet grazed the edge of his head and burned a path right through his hair.

"I will kill you if it is the last thing I do," Fury whispered dangerously from right behind the frozen genius.

Tony was going to run like hell if it was the last thing he did.

A/N: And that is why Bruce never joins in on one of Tony Stark's pranks. Ah. Hope you like some of my humor work. It will calm down for the rest of the story. Don't worry. Serious Brutasha coming in the next chapter. They had to shut up the rumors somehow right?