Chapter 9: Diversions.

Parings: Naru/Sasu...duh.

Rating: K-T (first) M-NC-17 (later)

Disclaimer: I do not own the sheer genius "Sasuke"; Shippuden of other. The honours go to Masashi Kishimoto and his genius brain that created this masterpiece.

Summary: Remember the summer camp you went to; that quaint place out in the woods, by a lake, sitting around a campfire telling ghost stories and eating s'mores? Well this summer school, sure as hell, isn't that. Three months, Sasuke, teenage delinquents, illegal alcohol, prescription drugs, annoying shrinks, escape plans, a Shitzu from hell, and new relationships; welcome to camp. NaruSasuNaru.

A/N: NOTICE/WARNING: This a Naru/Sasu story but it doesn't get there immediately; there are going to be diversions but when it gets there, and trust me it will get there, it's not going to be a 'one-night-stand' thing.

A/N: I'm having waaaaaaay to much fun with this...sigh... I'm sorry Wild Card...this was nagging me to complete.


Sasuke didn't even try to muffle his snickers, "What dobe...did you score an 85 on it."

A basketball slammed inches beside his face, "No bastard...I got a 175...something about me being a genius."

Sasuke went faintish cold after hearing the figure; deathly cold. Ice was traveling up and down his skin. THAT JUST WASN'T POSSIBLE!

"W...what?"


He shot up straight on the bed. "Come again."

Blue eyes shot him a confused look, "I said I got a 175 on the test."

Sasuke blindly threw the book somewhere on the floor, grabbed the basketball and heaved it back at Naruto. "That's impossible."

The blond shrugged deftly plucking the ball out of the air, "Tell that to Kakashi-sensei; trust me, I tried."

Sasuke's mind was spinning in every way possible to discover how in god's name the seemingly dull blond had a 175 I.Q...a genius I.Q.

"Baka," seems like he was going to have to stop calling him that now, didn't it. "...the last person I heard of who had a 175 score is a fifteen year old girl who is now a professor of neurobiology at Kyushu International University."

"So?"

"So it means what the hell did you do to-" A random thought, surfacing from one of his father's papers slammed into Sasuke's head as he faced him seriously, "...Tell me Naruto, how many places have you been?"

"Like in the world?" blue eyes clearly showed confusion.

"Yes." He replied tersely.

"Ummm..." he took a second to think, "Italy, America, Spain, Brazil, China, Russia, Germany, Saudi Arabia, Palestine and Haiti..." Naruto replied, "...Why?"

Globe trotter.

"Follow me..." Sasuke said and immediately asked, "What is your name?" in Spanish.

Golden brows contracted for a moment before he replied in the same language, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto."

"How old are you?" this time in Russian.

"I am eighteen years old." The blond replied inperfect Russian.

"Where did you live in Saudi Arabia?"That one was inFrench.

"Riyadh, at the Naval Base on the river."French Creole... but still French.

"How many martial arts do you know?' English this time.

"Two."Naruto replied fluently, "Capoeira, and Kick Boxing."

Amazing. Sasuke seriously doubted Naruto realised what just took place thirty seconds ago.

"Damn." Sasuke whispered, "Do you realize what just happened?"

"Yeah," Naruto replied bouncing the ball off the ceiling, "...you asked me some dumb questions."

With a push off the bed Sasuke crossed the room in three strides and swiftly snatched the ball out of Naruto's hands. "No idiot." He snapped, "What happened was you answered my questions in every language I threw at you."

"Meaning?" golden brows contracted.

Sasuke ignored the question, "Did anybody teach you those languages?"

"No," Naruto replied shrugging, "I...I guess... mostly I just heard the other officers talking and figured it out...what's the point anyway?"

Pale hands scrubbed through black hair. "Maybe nobody had told you this but you have the ability to deconstruct information and reproduce it..." he paused, "...and it's a proven phenomenon that the more exposure someone gets to different cultures, people and ideas, the higher their I.Q climbs."

Blue eyes cut into his, "And how do you know all this?"

"My father was a psychologist..." he admitted slumping on the wall, "I know more about the human psyche when I was eight than most fifty years old."

Naruto nodded, "That explains it."

Dark eyes shot up, "What...that explains what?"

"The fact that everybody is talking about you," Naruto replied, "...every teacher I've come across mentions your name in hallowed tones... you're like a celebrity in here."

The raven snorted, "I'm touched, but I'll pass on the paparazzi." He drew one of the chairs over to Naruto's bed, sat down and sighed. "It goes against every bone in my body, but I think it's time we did what Gai-sensei said...we need to know each other."

The look that Naruto gave him made him sigh again, "...I'll start... my parents were both medical professionals... my mother was a..."


Iruka sighed as he placed his pen on the table beside the paper he was scribbling over; jotting down the results of Sasuke's English test's graphology (1) assessment.

'Slant: upright and slightly tending to the left; meaning independence and creativity. Pressure; very hard, meaning things are taken seriously, uptight and reacts quickly to criticism. Size: small, meaning a thinker and an academic. Upper case; loops, meaning independent and imaginative, lower case; ends sharply, meaning impatient to get the job done.

The middle case of the writing; arcade style; humped and rounded at the top like a series of arches, meaning; protective, resourceful, methodological, secretive, stubborn and hypocritical at times.

Letter spacing; wide, indicative of needing space; doesn't react well to small space and/or to personal proximity. Line spacing; close; meaning keeping cool under pressure. Page margins: narrow, meaning a need to get out and move on.

Iruka's eyes spaced out, reflecting on every word Kakashi had said about Sasuke.

He was right.

Iruka had a barrage of mixed emotions to Sasuke; on one hand he was euphoric to have this kind of mind in here, the type that can be moulded to unparalleled excellence, and on the other hand he was extremely apprehensive; Sasuke had the type of mind he had once studied in school; relentless in everything they do; positive or not; they will not stop until its finished.

And that scared him.

"See what I'm talking about?" Kakashi asked from the doorway.

"Yes," the smaller man replied, "... this assessment combined with his I.Q. tests analysis..." he drifted off for a second then blurted out; "...he... scares me."

The silver haired man burst into laughter, "Iruka...he's an Uchiha...it's programmed in their DNA to be scary... trust me on that."

"Not like that," Iruka said rolling his eyes, "...he has the potential to be either an unmatched success or a serial killer... I just don't want to see his massive potential wasted. "

Kakashi sobered, "Neither do I...'Ruka...neither do I."


Sasuke rolled his shoulders feeling like he had just gone through a juvenile touchy-feely psychoanalysis session. Still he did learn something about Naruto; through the conversation Sasuke learned that the Uzumaki could incorporate survival, creative and expressive intelligence.

The snippets that Naruto had recounted to him made him silently marvel; grown on military bases all around the world the blond had developed a

personality that went against everything Sasuke thought he know about infantile instability. In contrast to the normal shutting down and shying away from the new surroundings Naruto seemed to...adapt... to every situation he was thrown in...from he was six years old. Six.

He was told candid tales of everything from playing barefoot football in Spanish barrios and listening to reggaeton at nine to growing up and encountering anthrax in Germany, bio-bombs in Palestine, R&D missions in Haiti, survival training in wilderness Arabia, and recon in near to minus zero temperature in Surgut, Russia.

A sigh. He needed a bath; water assaulting his body made him think. Pushing off the chair and walking to his part of the room he mindlessly yanked off his shirt to hear this:

"That's a Polynesian tribal tattoo, right?"

Damn it; he forgot about the triple bands of royal blue ink that circled his bicep. "Yes...it is."

"Nice."

Sasuke paused at the bathroom's doorway, "It's nearly ten pm...Tomorrow in Morino's rotation...you know he's going to make us do the ten mile kamikaze run shit...get some sleep."

"...Yeah, you're right... g'night." Naruto murmured just as he slipped into the bathroom.

(*)(*)(*)

The warm water cascaded down on him emitting a pleasing sensation running along his body.

Way too damn pleasant.

Sasuke glanced down to his erection and scowled, "I'm not dealing with you today." And cruelly shifted to ice cold water; needless to say it disappeared.

The freezing cold cramped him to his feet but he just smirked; 'mental power over physical urges...it always wins.'

(*)(*)(*)

Cali was getting easier on his acclimating muscles but still, he still resented it. The obstacle course had been added to; this time it sported a twenty feet high rope bridge, a paint-ball mock shooting range and a rock wall.

Sasuke stopped to breathe. Stiches were still stabbing his chest but he was getting used to the pain. Under wet bangs he glanced up and beheld TenTen doing a handstand and...what the hell...was she doing push ups...upside down?

Her body was perfectly balanced, her centre of gravity on exact point. Her hair was in buns as usual but when her neck twisted a flash of metallic reflection surged into his eyes. Was that a...no it couldn't be... was that a shuriken at the base of one of the buns?

He watched as she did a perfect flip, twisted in the air and landed on her feet. He snorted; acrobat indeed. His vision shifted; Kin was leaning, arms crossed, on a tree growing just by the edge of the obstacle course edge, her observant eyes hooded as usual.

A shiver or something ran over his skin and he tensed.

"Relax." Gaara said, shifting into his vision field, "I talked to Kankuro...he politely requested you talk to him yourself."

Black eyes narrowed, "...when?"

"Tonight...just before chess, on the quad." Gaara replied softly, his green eyes traveling up to Sasuke's face. They stared each other until Gaara turned away his pale cheeks hinting a pale red. In both a motion of madness and something undefined Sasuke reached out a hand and turned Gaara back to him.

"Gaara," he started to say, but the redhead cut in softly removing his hand.

"It's nothing." The Sabaku said turning away again, "...forget it."

(*)(*)(*)

History class; an recount of the classic 'Taketori Monogatari'; 'Tale of the Bamboo Cutter,'; the old legend in which this old man cut a stalk of bamboo to find an thumb sized infant girl who grows into an extraordinary beauty sought by five princes.

Sasuke did his best to not yawn through the recount but failed immensely. The words were going in one ear and out the other but despite that he dimly registered what the man was saying about the tasks the princes were ordered to do; acquire the Begging bowl of Buddha... jewelled branch the Horai Island... the indestructible fire-rat robe of China...a jewel from a dragon's neck... and a cowrie born from swallows.

Christ. What in hell were the real world applications of this fairy tale?

Fifty nine...fifty eight...sixty...The class was finally over.

"They tell that story different where I live," Kin said softly exiting the class, "...they say when Princess Kaguya ascended to the moon she was devoured by an evil spirit...a youkai. (2)."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Please tell me you don't believe that bullshit."

She shrugged, "I'm just telling you what I was told."

"Still," he replied going to the mess hall, "Bullshit."

(*)(*)(*)

"I'm here." Sasuke said not turning around but fully aware of the hulking presence behind him.

"Yes." Kankuro said leaning on the post, "Let's go up."

Sasuke was completely annoyed, "I just want information."

"And I just want to watch the game...so;" Kankuro said, "we're going up,"

Cursing under his breath he climbed the bleachers enough to get perfect vision of the basketball game currently under way. He immediately spotted Naruto, Kiba, Renjii and Chouji.

"So you want to know about Orochimaru Sannin?" Kankuro leered, "What are you willing to give for it."

He smirked as he shifted an inch and pushed his forefinger into the small space under Kankuro's ribcage and hissed, "You see this pressure point here...I can make your lungs completely stop working in under five seconds if I press just one inch deeper..."

Kankuro paled, "...so are you going to tell me or not?"

"Fine." The older Sabaku said sounding like he was being strangled, "Orochimaru is a leader for the local yakuza. He was appointed to the mayor's office after selling out one of his own deputies, a man named Sasori."

"That's it?" he asked pleasantly while releasing him.

"That's all I know off," Kankuro said, "In my line of business you have to be aware of surrounding competition."

He was going to hate himself for asking but did anyway, "What is your line of business?"

Kankuro straighter his jacket and grunted, "I deal something named V.V ...vampire's venom...it's downer."

"Hn." Sasuke snorted, his attention snapping back to the game on the court.

Kankuro leaned in again and his face was promptly met by Sasuke's flat palm, "If you don't leave now, I'm going to snap you neck like a twig."

He left...fast.

The cold was buffeting him. Sasuke relaxed; his eyes scanning over the game but his eyes latched on one particular person. Naruto moved like he was a pro; fast, furious and deadly accurate. In the last five minutes he had scored two three pointers and four slam dunks...all without seemingly breaking a sweat.

Too damn perfectly fit... the bastard.

Snorting he pushed up off the seat and made his way to the chess game...and Gaara.


The room was empty.

He couldn't take it anymore. Ten minutes had elapsed since he had sat down and the silence was eating at his skin.

"Gaara-"

"It was stupid." The redhead said immediately, soft darkly rimmed alabaster eyelids flittering over jade green orbs, "I apologise."

Sasuke scrubbed his hand through his hair, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm..." Gaara sighed, "...attracted to you." The last part came out in a whisper.

A second passed, Sasuke's lips twitched, "That's... all you are apologising for?"

"It... I... made you uncomfortable." He replied, "Didn't I?"

Sasuke pushed the table between them away from him, grasped Gaara's hand and pulled him forward. "No you didn't...not at all."

Gaara hesitated. Sasuke smiled slightly holding the frighteningly warm hand in his own, "... I'm not going to hurt you Gaara."

The foot of space between them was crossed. Sasuke pulled the slight androgynous body on his lap, dropped his hands to the trim waist and soundly kissed him.


"Pein?" Sasuke asked lowly.

"Yes?" the man replied.

"I need to know...where are you from?" he asked.

"...originally Britain." Oh so that's where that accent was from. "I was an agent for the MI6 but by the governmental agreement between America and Great Britain I was recruited about five years ago for the C.I.A."

"What exactly was Orochimaru doing to get the C.I.A involved?" he asked leaning back on the wall between them.

A pause and a shuffle, then; "He was trafficking humans across the international borders; they were his drug carriers and sex slaves. In Manhattan a girl named Guren was apprehended by immigration and searched...turns out her womb was packed with cocaine."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "...she told us that she was on her last trip and that after she completed her mission she was to be killed; removing every trace of her existence from the world. My mission was to infiltrate his organization and gather enough evidence to see him executed."

Sasuke sobered, "But how did you end up here? Shouldn't the C.I.A have ordered your retrieval upon your imprisonment?"

"Oh no... I'm still undercover...that's the point of them not retrieving me; Orochimaru, like every crime lord is paranoid; he doesn't trust his own shadow. He didn't fully know anything about me and acted on a whim... this whole thing started after an arms-dealing operation where I was paired with someone named Sasori-"

Black eyes flew open at the name.

"...Orochimaru was about to be appointed to the mayor's office by that time; to get credit he needed he sold Sasori out but used his contacts to get the I.C.J to try my case instead of the normal system...and now he wants me out."

"Oh," he murmured, "...are you okay in there...mentally I mean?"

A chuckle resounded from the stone barrier, "I've been through enough training to keep myself sane... monotone and deficient human contact doesn't faze me."

"Training?"

"Sensory deprivation training." was the reply.

Sasuke shuddered, "Fine... may I ask...what ways have you already tried to escape with?"

A sigh emanated from the space, "You might want to sit down kid... this is going to be long..."


The banging on the door was furious. He had just returned from morning Cali to change his mud splattered shirt.

"What the hell is going on?" Sasuke snarled flinging the door open and stopped. The grave looks on the three faces made him do a double take.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly again.

"Uchiha Sasuke?"

He faced Hayate. "Yes?"

"Please come with me..." Hayate said sternly, "You're needed in Gai's office."

"About what?" What the hell was going on?

"Rumino Sai," the teacher said, "... he was found this morning after Cali with deep legions to his neck... he claims you tried to kill him."


A/N: #shakes head...Sai you sadistic weirdo creep...

COME ON PEOPLE, I'm NOT going to apologize for the Sasu/Gaara in here...its DEVELOPMENT PPL. Sheesh. I'm sick and tired of the 'wham-bam'/ 'love-at-first-sight' romances in here.

Graphology; is psychoanalysis of writing...a graphologist can tell your personality by your writing style.

They say when Princess Kaguya ascended to the moon she was devoured by an evil spirit- InuYasha; 'The Castle Beyond The Looking Glass'.

AND ONE MORE THING:

REVIEW DAMNIT!