"Look at the jugs on her," Brady said with a glassy stare. I slapped the back of his head hard enough to bend him over.

"You were asking for it," Sam said when Brady looked to him for aid.

"But she has a really nice pair of eyes," Collin laughed. A few members of the pack joined him. The younger pack members were now just as bad as the older smart mouths. I was glad they weren't part of the group that answered to Jacob. He was a good alpha but he let us get away with murder.

"Those are mine," I pointed as she approached.

"They're going to give sustenance to someone else. You're not touching them for a while after that person arrives," Sam scoffed. He'd just opened himself to so much shit with that one so the first thing to be said afterwards came as a surprise to me.

"You don't tell us anything," the kids complained. Patrols weren't all that necessary when you had someone who could see the future on your side. The Cullens were no longer in Forks but they stayed close enough. It's not completely impossible that someone from Forks would go to Portland but I doubt vampires could be found if they wanted to avoid it. It was easy to trust them with Nessie here most of the time and her connection to Jake.

"We're always the last to know," Brady threw his hands up.

"Nobody knew," I rolled my eyes at this argument but I was glad they weren't discussing my woman's chest anymore, "I found out yesterday and the guys who came to see if I was still alive found out this morning."

"If we hadn't stopped patrols we wouldn't have this problem," Collin mumbled this time. Collin and Brady felt strongly about being treated like children. Seth was laughing quietly behind them, looking at the wall as though to remain inconspicuous.

"If we hadn't stopped patrols Sam's daughter wouldn't recognize him and none of us would have high school diplomas," I sighed, "And we haven't seen a vampire since the Mafia went back to Italy."

Everyone fell silent when Emily and Nikita walked in and looked at us through narrow eyes. I smiled timidly at her. "Has no one noticed how alike you all look?" she asked with a frown.

"I'm sure they have but no one's suspicious," I answered. "Let me introduce you to the rest of the guys." I stepped to her side and named the pack members she had not met. Leah had long moved away and wasn't here more than twice a year, it wasn't that time yet.

"When's the baby due?" Seth asked, his normal cheery self.

"January twenty second," Nick answered with a smile. She was studying him like he was odd in some way. "I'm having a look inside in three weeks or so." she must like Seth, "And no, they aren't usually this big," she looked down at her breasts then over to Brady. He looked down and blushed. I'd set him straight on the comments but I couldn't blame him for looking. They certainly got my attention. She put her finger under her nose as if she were thinking then said, "I can show you the pictures if you like."

"That would be great," his smile broadened. This was unexpected but certainly not unwelcome. Nikita put her hand to her throat. "I think we better go," she said with a grimace.

"Not till you eat," I rubbed her back. Emily, having just gone through pregnancy, brought her some dried fruit and other healthy sounding foods to raise her blood sugar and keep her from throwing up. I was suddenly so glad Sam and Emily had a child. I wouldn't know all this otherwise.

She didn't complain, sulk or resist. "This is just the beginning," Emily said both jokingly and comfortingly.

"I like thinking about the beginning. It distracts me from thinking about the end," she chewed, "About the part where I have to push a ten pound person out of a very small orifice."

"That part's not all that fun," Emily mumbled.

"It's something you should not see," Sam shook his head at me.

"We raced to Canada that one night so yeah, that ship has kinda sailed," Paul said with a grimace.

"Raced to Canada huh?" Emily folded her arms.

"This is why nobody invites us to meet their girlfriend," Seth said under his breath.

"Anyone want to out Embry?" Nikita said down next to Seth. "About anything?"

"He sucked his thumb till he was twelve," Seth whispered. She burst into laughter.

"Thank you, Seth," I cut in before he made me look even worse.

"That's it?" she frowned, "That's the very worst thing you can tell me?"

"He's pretty boring," Jacob supplied. There was a knock on the door.

"Are we expecting someone?" Jared looked around.

"Everyone's here," Sam did a little role call.

"Please don't all go to the door at once," Emily got up, "We don't want to overwhelm our guest." Of course now everyone was looking at the door. We looked like an army. It was an instinctual thing. Everyone took the best position for defence. It was just the way we were. Emily opened the door. A man stood in the doorway, tall, blond, green eyes that went straight to Nikita. "Can I help you?" Emily asked.

"Yes," he looked around her, "By letting me in."

Nick put her hands on her head and groaned. "My own dad and my brother haven't

been able to track me down in a year. How the hell did you find me, Eric?"

"I followed my heart," he stepped around Emily. I'm not gonna like this guy.

"Eric," she said after she blew out a breath. "Let's take a walk you and I." she touched

my shoulder apologetically.

"This is him?" he pointed to me with disgust, "This is the guy? You walked away from

me, from us, for seven feet of candy?"

"Don't," Jacob put a restraining arm on my shoulder.

"Really, don't," Nick put her hand up. "Eric, let's go outside. I want to kick your ass for that comment and I want to apologize for what I did to you but not here. We have an audience, not a single person here will be on your side. You have a big mouth. How about we go somewhere where you can't piss off everyone in a ten yard radius."

"That's somewhere where there are no people in a ten mile radius," he smiled for some reason I couldn't know.

"You've still got it," she smiled too. What the hell?

"Do you?" he suddenly became surly. Everyone in the room looked as confused by this as I was. It suddenly dawned on me that there was a whole relationship here that I knew nothing about. They were speaking a language only they could understand. She nodded. "You've lost your... as they say, mojo," he pulled her panties out of his pocket.

"That's not what it looks like," she laughed then turned to him.

"Get out Eric," he supplied, "I'll explain this better without your presence in this

room... or that of my thong." She opened her mouth to speak but again the words

came out of his, "I love that I can have a conversation with you without speaking. It's

like having a mouth piece outside of my body, much easier than duplication."

Okay, this had to stop, "I'm not gonna stop just because you don't understand," he

pointed to me.

"Eric is a walking stats computer. He crunches data on facial expressions, any

language and the frequency with which the words and phrases are used in that

language and place and then he predicts every sentence that could possibly come

out of your mouth. He does this for fun. He got stuffed into a lot of lockers," she

pushed him, "We'll be right back."

"God hates me," I stood with my forehead on the window, "He just hates me."

"Whatever they had is nothing to what you guys have and will have," Jared came up behind me. "You're perfect for her."

"I don't doubt that," I stood back and watched their perfect ease as they walked away

together. "But can you honestly tell me you can't see that he's perfect for her too?"

The room was silent. Yeah, God hates me.