Chapter 8: Death On Two Legs

Chapter 8: Death On Two Legs

"Khashoggi to Killer Queen…"

Khashoggi had been awaiting this moment for a long time. Killer Queen's patience could only be tested so far, and he had a feeling that it had been beginning to wear thin. But now he would finally get the attention which he deserved.

"Good news Ma'am" he continued.

Her reaction (almost) took him by surprised, "It had better be, I'm having my roots done."

For a moment the Commander wondered if timing had got the worse of him once again. Still, surely even she would forgive his interruption once she found out what he had to tell her.

Killer Queen turned to her hairdresser, giving her a look of indifference as she did so.

"Get me a skinny latte…" she ordered.

Pandora knew she was lucky to be able to get so close to the great leader. Still, everytime she was called upon to improve her mistresses hair, she couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation.

It was well known that Killer Queen's last hairdresser had been disposed of after a dying mishap. The chemicals in the red dye, which she had been applying, had somehow interacted with those in the already applied curling spray. The result had been a nasty green tint, or so Pandora had heard. Killer Queen had been forced to go offline for a whole week, until the treatment wore off, and the hairdresser had never been seen again.

If Pandora had been careful before she had heard the story, she was even more careful now. In fact she was almost pleased when she was sent on pointless errands; at least it was unlikely she would make mistakes when dialling up a coffee.

Killer Queen turned to hear her chief of police.

"So?" she demanded, a clear tone of impatience in her voice.

Khashoggi replied confidently, so certain was he of her pleasure, "I believe that the last of the remaining rebels will soon be within my clutches."

"Then you must crush them without mercy" she replied, uncertain why her minion was bothering her with such trivial matters.

"My my, Ma'am. You are an eager beaver."

Suddenly Killer Queen appeared to get angry as she retorted, "You leave my eager beaver out of this. We are discussing destroying the rebels."

Khashoggi ignored this outburst, secretly pleased that she was actually paying attention to his words.

"I advise discretion, Ma'am" he said, "The last thing I want to do is worry the Ga Ga Kids. Particularly now, with Summer upon us once more."

"There are no seasons in the Virtual World, Commander" Killer Queen replied. Annoyed that she needed to remind him of the obvious.

Khashoggi sensed that he was on thin ice now, but he needed to explain his meaning in order to regain some credibility.

"No on-line, Ma'am" he agreed, before continuing, "But sadly the physical world still exists. It's hot out there, hot and edgy. The rivers are drying up, the polar ice-caps are melting and the resistance is growing"

"The Bohemians?"

"Of course."

Every summer the resistance seemed to get greater. The rebels grew restless as their water supplies ran out and the sun scorched their skin. The few runaways, isolated and alone in the desert, sought out someone to hear their cries. They were forced into the city remains to scavenge for their needs. It was there that they met the Bohemians.

This group of outsiders were the only real threat to the stability of the state. Khashoggi longed to find and destroy them. But, despite his best efforts, they remained hidden. And with every moment that passed, their numbers grew.

Killer Queen knew all this of course and so her next question was meant to be purely rhetorical:

"Who are these people? What do they want?"

Unfortunately for her, Khashoggi seemed unversed in such subtleties.

"They want it all, Ma'am" he replied, "And they want it now. They want…. their Rhapsody."

Heads turned and faces stared at this final word. No-one could believe that anyone would dare to utter 'that' term. Let alone in the presence of the great mistress.

Killer Queen too was stunned by his pure audacity.

"That is a proscribed word" she spat, "no such state of being exists."

As if oblivious to the outrage he had caused, Khashoggi replied, "Not yet Ma'am"

"Not ever! The Bohemian Rhapsody is a myth! A myth, do you hear me?! Have you not reported that the euphoria they seek can only be unleashed through music? Real, live, music!"

"That is what they believe, Ma'am."

"Then there will be no Rhapsody, for there are no such instruments left on Planet Mall and the kids will never, ever, make their own music again!"