They met each other one night inside his tent, or rather, it was her that went to look for him. Her face had grown thinner and her eyes, once so beautiful and radiant, had been dimmed by the shades of murder. He had hoped that they did not meet each other face to face, but at the same moment, he was relieved to sense her presence around him.
"Colonel—no, it must be Lieutenant General now. Congratulations upon your promotion today," she saluted him.
"It's about time. I haven't worked this hard in a very long time," Roy laughed dryly as Riza winced at his remark.
"I don't think that was very funny at all—"
"Well, it was only the truth. I could barely keep in count how many I've incinerated today. Was it seventy-two? Oh wait, I missed the two Xing soldiers by the border. That would make it seventy-fou—"
"Enough!" Roy was cut short by the sound of Riza's voice. "Why are you saying this? Why are you doing this to yourself?" Riza approached him angrily, but her eyes delivered only sadness.
"No, I have to. If I don't, I will go insane. Seventy-four. That was the number of people that I've killed today. But to think of them as real human beings would make me a murderer—wait, that's what I am right now, isn't it? I am a murderer. I was one, and will always be one," the springs under the cot squeaked noisily as Roy sat down with his hands clutched around his head.
Riza remained silent but slowly approached his bed. Though her military attire was smeared with dirt and her body stank of dried blood and sweat, he could still discern her aroma from all of the surrounding. He missed her scent, her hair, her soft skin, and her eyes. He missed holding her in his arms and feeling her gentle warmth enveloping his entire body. He missed her.
She paused briefly as she stood in front of him, as if wanting to tell him something, before she knelt down so that she could see his face. "Have you been eating right?" She asked instead, softly, as she removed his hands away from his face. Her eyes displayed concern and great sadness. It hurts her to no end to see him in this state.
Acting as if possessed, Roy reached for Riza's cheeks as he leaned in to kiss those lips that he had longed for what seemed like an eternity. As the kiss deepened, Roy lifted Riza off from the ground and laid her gently onto his bed. He continued to kiss her, and it was not until Riza moaned slightly at his advances was he jolted back into reality. He looked at her, who laid underneath him, in great horror, lost his balance, and fell off the bed.
"Are you all right?" Riza cried in surprise as she sat up from his bed and rushed to support him back onto his feet.
"Don't touch me!" Roy yelled angrily at Riza before she came in contact with him. Shocked at his sudden change of tone, Riza froze for a short moment before chiding him for what he was saying. "No, I said, don't touch me!" Roy shouted, his voice serious and cold.
"What are you saying? What is wrong with you?" Riza questioned, her tone exasperated and hurt.
Roy looked up at the woman who stood before him, arms in mid-action to help him up. Her long, golden hair draped over her slim, exposed shoulders. Ah, they have grown longer since the last time he had saw them down. She was still so beautiful, despite the heavy burden of a war—in fact, too beautiful and precious to touch and defile with his very hands. He was a murderer now. A heartless murderer. How could he have ever dared to lay his bloodied hands on her?
"I am tired. I want to rest now. Please leave," he turned his head away from her face as it pained him too much to see her hurt expression.
As it was late into the night, all was quiet outside the tent. There stood a heavy silence between the two before Riza finally straightened herself, buttoned up her shirt, and re-clipped her hair neatly into her usual style. She took a deep breath as if to hide away the quivering of her voice before she bid her superior farewell. Prior to stepping out of the tent, Riza spoke in such softness that Roy had difficulty hearing.
"I understand," her voice a faint whisper, "but please understand that you are not alone in thinking that way."
And that was the last time he had seen her cry.
