Disclaimer: Ged565 does not own SAO or any of its characters, nor does he own any other characters used from other anime/manga.

Warning: Contains characters from Bleach, Kaze no Stigma, Angel Beats!, and Fairy Tail.


Episode 8: Cafe Day

"Kirito-kun! Wake up!" A familiar voice called.

"Ugh...I really need to get an alarm clock or something...I'm up!" Kirito said as he woke up with a yawn.

"Hey, you up?" Elliot asked, waltzing in to his room.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Kirito-kun! Are you up?" Asuna asked, coming into the room behind Elliot.

"Yeah, I am. Is something wrong?"

"Hey, you awake Kirito?" Reyna came in after Asuna.

"What's up with all of you today?" Kirito asked confused.

"Hi!" Geminorum said.

"Don't tell me the whole guild is gonna come in here…"

"Nope. We're the last ones." Ren said as he walked in with Toshiro behind him.

"What? Where'd everyone else go?" He asked.

"Kirito, look around you." Elliot said.

"Huh?" They were in a train.

"When did we get here? I thought I was in my room the whole time!" He exclaimed.

"We're already on our way to the cafe!" Asuna said.

"The...cafe?"


"Yosh! Time to head to the cafe!" Suguha said. She began walking towards the cafe. She flung open the doors and quickly took a seat.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" She said.

"If only onii-chan was here to enjoy it with me…I wonder where he is right now."


"Here we are! The cafe! This is gonna be so much fun!" Asuna said, flinging open the doors.

"Why are we at the cafe today? Shouldn't we be, like, training or on a mission or something?" Kirito asked.

"I did, too, beat you in the monster hunting challenge!" Asuna yelled at Reyna.

"Oh yeah? Last I heard, you guys lost to the Kingdom, therefore forfeiting the match!" Reyna countered.

"Last I heard, you guys lost before we lost!"

"No way! You went down before I did. And since it was technically between you and me, you lost!"

"Elliot, did I go down first, or did your partner?" Asuna asked.

"Um…" Elliot scratched his head.

"The only person who would know is Lapis." Kanade suddenly spoke up.

"Kanade?" Asuna said.

"She was watching the entire fight."

"And she didn't even help us? Hmph! Typical." Reyna said.

"Wait, Lapis was watching us?" Elliot said, getting spooked out.

"Wait, wait. Who is Lapis?" Kirito asked.

"She's a member of our guild. She doesn't really talk to us much. She's always on her own." Reyna said.

"Oh. That's probably why I haven't really seen her around." Kirito said.

"Onii-chan!" Ren yelled, clinging to Kirito's arm.

"Um, do you think you could...buy me something?"

"Are you...trying to bribe me!? You guys are the ones with a lot of money around here…" Kirito said.

"Pleeaase!" Ren said.

"Oh...fine. I can't say no…" Kirito sighed.

"It's too easy to trick you!" Yui said laughing. Ren laughed too.

"Oi, you guys are acting like little kids...this isn't the first time we came here…" Toshiro said.

"Stop being such a spoil sport, Toshiro and let them have some fun." Reyna scolded.

"She's right." Asuna said, quickly realizing what she said.

"But I mean, um!"

"Hah!" Reyna smirked triumphantly.

"Are we going to order something or what? I'm hungry." Kirito said.

"I already ordered enough for all of us!" Geminorum said.

"Oooh!" Elliot said.

"Geminorum always orders those pop tarts!"

"I especially love those strawberry tarts." Reyna agreed. Elliot and Reyna ran over to her plate of uncountable tarts and picked from it.

"So...no salted pancakes, right?" Kirito said cautiously.

"I want a fruit smoothie!" Ren said.

"I thought Geminorum already ordered for all of us…"

"She only has tarts." Asuna said.

"What?! We can't eat all those tarts…"

"Hurry, hurry!" Ren yelled at Kirito, shaking his arm.

"Ok, ok, you can stop now...I'll order you a fruit smoothie then…"

"And me one, too!" Yui said.

"Okay, you too then."

"Well, what about me? If you're paying then I might as well add." Toshiro said.

"What?!" Kirito said.

"Please, please, please buy for him, too?" Ren pleaded.

"Oh...fine. I'll do it." Kirito gave in.

"See. I don't need to ask because Ren does it for me." Toshiro said simply. Asuna laughed.

"Kirito gives in too easily."

"Oi, waiter! Three fruit smoothies, please." Kirito called. The guy got to work.

"What about you, Asuna?" Kirito asked.

"Hm…" Asuna was looking at the menu.

"Think I'll just take a strawberry shortcake."

"What?! You can't, that's my favorite!" Reyna argued.

"I ordered it first!" She yelled back.

"You can't! They're mine!"

"You both can't just have the same thing…?" Elliot asked.

"Kirito." Ren whispered.

"What?" He whispered back. Ren pointed to behind them at Kanade who was just awkwardly standing there.

"Oh…" He said. He turned around to Kanade.

"Hey, Kanade. Why don't you join us?"

"Um, okay." Kanade said quietly as she walked over to them. Kirito scooted over so she could sit in the chair next to him.

"Hi Kanade." Ren said. She nodded in acknowledgement.

"So...you want to order something? I'll buy!" Kirito added.

"Are you sure?" He nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, get whatever you want!" She hesitated a moment before nodding.

"Okay. I'll have the mapu tofu."

"Mapu...tofu? Uh, okay." Kirito said as he added it to the list. When he turned around, he saw Ren cowering under the table.

"Mapu tofu. Mapu tofu." He kept repeating.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked.

"Mapu...tofu…?!" Reyna yelled quietly.

"Huh?" Kirito asked.

"No way...even I don't get that…" Toshiro said. Geminorum dropped her pop tart.

"Mapu...tofu…?" Kirito looked around confused.

"What's wrong with all of you?"

"Mapu tofu. Are you sure?" The waiter asked.

"Um, yeah. What's wrong with that?" Kirito asked. The waiter walked off before bringing back a plate filled with an assortment of vegetables and meat covered in a red chili sauce.

"It doesn't look so bad." Kirito said.

"It's here!" Ren yelled, running to Toshiro.

"Okay...here you go, Kanade." Kirito set the plate in front of her.

"She's not going to do it!" Geminorum said, fainting. Kanade picked up a spoon.

"She's going to do it!" Reyna said, hiding under the table. Kanade picked up a spoonful of the mapu tofu.

"It's horrible!" Elliot screamed. Then she took a bite.

"I can't watch this!" Toshiro said, turning around. As she chewed, screams came from all corners of the cafe.

"I don't understand!" Kirito yelled.

"I'm gonna go crazy. What's up with all of you?" Elliot's eyes widened.

"Even she doesn't deserve that." Reyna said as Asuna took a spoonful of the mapu tofu.

"You're going to eat that?!" Reyna yelled.

"If you eat that and survive, I hate to admit it, but even I would be impressed…"

"What!?" Asuna said, staring at the mapu tofu. She looked back at Kanade who seemed fine as she took another spoonful.

"Toshiro...I think my time's here…" Ren said, fainting.

"No, Ren, don't die!" Toshiro said.

"Here goes nothing." Asuna said, raising the spoon to her mouth.

"She's gonna do it! That's either really brave, or really stupid...you must have a death wish." Reyna said.

"Everyone hide! Something really bad is about to happen!" Elliot yelled.

"Ahh!" Ren screamed.

"You're alive! Everyone, stop the mapu tofu!" Toshiro yelled.

"Potato salad!" Geminorum screamed. Asuna chewed and screams erupted from every corner of the cafe.

"I'm fine." Asuna said. A couple of seconds passed and Asuna began sweating like crazy.

"Hey, Asuna...you okay?" Kirito asked.

"Oh, Kirito-kun…" Asuna muttered as her entire face grew red.

"I shouldn't have done it…"

"Done what? Eat it?"

"I should've eaten potato salad! Ahhh!" She screamed as fire flew out of her mouth and burnt Kirito's face. Then she fell over onto his lap, her eyes dizzy.

"What the…?" Kirito said confused.

"I knew she wouldn't survive…" Reyna mumbled.

"Mapu tofu strikes again…!" Elliot said. Kirito looked back and forth between everyone going crazy and Kanade sitting calmly and eating the mapu tofu.

"Guys, seriously, it can't be that bad. I mean…" He looked at Asuna for a moment.

"Well, Kanade's fine."

"Kanade is a super human! Don't you know that?" Elliot asked. Kirito looked at Kanade.

"Well, she looks like a normal girl to me...how come you guys can't eat it, too?" Reyna gasped.

"Did you...just suggest...don't say it ever again!" Ren spit out his fruit smoothie.

"Oh dear. Did he suggest...don't say that ever again!" Kirito sighed.

"I've had enough of this!" He picked up a spoonful of the mapu tofu.

"Nooo!" Elliot said, jumping over slow motion to Kirito, completely missing him.

"I have failed to stop you...but heed my last words. Don't….uhh!" Elliot said, collapsing dramatically.

"Don't worry Elliot, it was not in vain, I shall avenge you!" Reyna said, getting up and lunging at Kirito as well.

"Kirito-kun!" Asuna said, standing up.

"Wah!" Reyna crashed into Asuna.

"Ahh!" They yelled, flipping an inch away from Kirito.

"Here goes nothing!" Kirito lifted the spoon and ate it.

"Kirito, noo! That stuff is hotter than my fire magic!" Ren yelled.

"I'm just fine, what are you talking about?" Kirito asked. A few seconds passed. Suddenly, the room became extremely hot and he could see red.

"Everyone out!" Ren yelled. Within seconds, the cafe was empty except for Kanade and Kirito. Kirito held his breath as he started sweating like crazy.

"I...can't...take it anymore!" Fire erupted everywhere. A couple of people peeked back in the cafe.

"Is he still alive?" They whispered.

"I don't know." Said the cafe owner. They all saw Kanade still sitting in the chair.

"Ah…" Kirito sighed, all charred and burnt. Suddenly, Kanade set her spoon down and turned to Kirito.

"Seconds, please." Everyone's jaws dropped.

"I can't comprehend this!" The cafe owners began running away. All the other customers split up. Elliot fainted. Geminorum ate a potato salad. Reyna began pacing back and forth muttering gibberish.

"I've seen it all now…" Ren said collapsing.

"Ren, don't die!" Toshiro sat down and just stared. Asuna slowly walked back in the cafe.

"Kirito-kun?" She shook him a bit and he just fell off his chair. She turned to see the cafe owners running away and turned back to Kanade.

"Seconds, right?"

"Yes, please."


"You're my only connection I have to onii-chan." Suguha said, sitting next to the hospital bed with the white haired girl.

"I also want onii-chan to be able to enjoy the cafe that I was able to go to." She laid a plate of cookies on the table next to the girl.

"Please carry these to onii-chan."


Kanade was patiently sitting in her chair. Then, she noticed a plate of cookies on the table.

"Ah…" Kirito sighed in relief as he sat up and got off the floor.

"I feel better now...hey, it actually tastes really good! Once you get past the spicy part…and the explosions...and the fire…" Kirito trailed off. Kanade tugged on his shirt sleeves.

"Huh? What is it, Kanade?" She pointed to the plate of cookies.

"For you."

"Me? Um, thanks. Did you get them for me?" She shook her head.

"They're from someone very close to you and they wanted to show you their gratitude and concern."

"Um…" He looked around and saw Asuna in the kitchen.

"I see. I'll tell them thanks, then!" Kanade looked at him for a moment before nodding.

"Here!" Asuna said, setting down another plate of mapu tofu.

"Thank you." Kanade began eating.

"I now see why they all react that way…" Kirito said, thoughtfully eating a cookie.

"Yah!" Asuna yelled, jumping in Kirito's lap.

"Where is everyone anyway?" He asked.

"I don't know." She said, munching on a cookie.

"Thanks for the cookies. They were from you, right?" Kirito said.

"Hm?" Asuna looked at him questioningly.

"Not me."

"Not you? Then…" He looked at Kanade for an answer, but she just continued to eat.

"Is it over?" Elliot and Ren began crawling back in. Reyna was pacing back and forth. Toshiro was following Ren, muttering something about life. Geminorum was eating potato salad.

"I'll never understand these people…" Kirito face-palmed.

"It's okay, you don't have to understand them!" Yui said.

"Everything will become clear eventually! Even the cookies."

"Or Kanade could just tell me now…" But she just ignored him.


"That was fun, wasn't it?" Asuna asked as the train began bringing them back.

"Fun? Don't remind me…" Reyna shivered.

"I've never had a trip to the cafe turn out like that before." Elliot shuddered.

"I need to meditate so I can forget what happened, or else I'll forever be haunted." Toshiro muttered.

"What do you mean you've never had a trip to the cafe turn out like that? Wouldn't Kanade always order mapu tofu?" Asuna asked. Kanade didn't say anything and acted as if she didn't hear. Elliot leaned in to Asuna and Kirito.

"Kanade doesn't usually come on these trips. I think she came because you guys were coming."

"Oh. I see." Kirito said. He got up and sat next to Kanade.

"Hey, Kanade. You know, I had a lot of fun today. Why don't we come to the cafe once a week now. All of us will go together. What do you say?" She glanced up at him for a moment.

"Sure." Kirito went back to Elliot.

"Geez, why didn't you guys ever invite her?"

"I don't know." Elliot said.

"Maybe we were afraid she'd eat the mapu tofu." Kirito face-palmed.

"Have you ever actually eaten it before?"

"No, but I've seen others eat it. I think all the cafe owners quit their job." Suddenly, Kanade felt a hand on her hand, but it wasn't a physical touch. No one was sitting next to her. Yet, she somehow knew what it was.


Suguha's eyes widened.

"Oh, I fell asleep." She said. She had fallen on the girl and quickly got up.

"Well, that was strange." She looked at the girl for a long time when suddenly her eyes widened.

"Wait a minute." She leaned in closer, listening.

"Well, that's strange, I can't hear the heartbeat."


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