(A/N): This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Naruto world, which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I do not claim any ownership over any of his characters or the world of Naruto. This story is my own invention and is for entertainment only. This is rated M for a few reasons: language, violence, themes of abuse, sex and more. Thank you for reading, please enjoy!


Three years prior


"Yatsuko calm down and listen to me," Deidara snapped as his gripped her shoulders tightly within his fingertips. "All I need from you is to prevent anyone from getting in ; I know you can do it. It shouldn't take too long if things go according to plan I'll be in an out in five minutes and I'll meet you directly outside near the entrance that you will be guarding. If for whatever reasons we get separated just run as fast as you can, and we'll meet at our tree on the outside of town, hmm." Deidara glanced down at her with a sigh; her silver-grey eyes were beginning to fill with tears. He knew her well enough to know she was terrified; it hurt him to know there was even a part of her that doubted him and his plan. "What have I told you about crying, hmm?" Yatsuko gave him a sharp nod before wiping the tears from her bleary eyes.

"That it's for the weak!"

"That's right and your not weak Yatsu," He brushed a stray lock of soft chestnut hair from her cheek "That's why I know you can do this. Once we finish this we can start our life," Deidara paused trying to fight the from warmth creeping upon his cheeks "Together." Yatsuko beamed up at him; he knew that was all she cared about. Yatsuko wouldn't let him down, she never did.

"It's just that you told me you'd be by my side the whole time; I don't know_."

"Don't doubt yourself Yatsu, let's get started. The sooner we do this, the better." He knit his brow at the sight of her small trembling frame. Yatsuko was physically strong but had a tendency to let her emotions get the better of her. Usually, this wasn't a problem for him, in fact, he normally found her sensitivity quite endearing. Right now, however, it could only prove troublesome A sigh slipped from his lips before he pulled her into a hug, Deidara pressed his lips to her forehead, "Don't falter, I believe in you, don't you believe in me?" He felt her body steady before nodding into his chest; his lips cracked into a small half smile. Of course, she did, the girl had idolized him for years. "Ok, so let's do this, remember the second you see someone who might want to stop me blow the whistle I gave you and run, hmm."

When he broke their embrace, it seemed she had found some resolve once more. Yatsuko gave him a firm nod before he began to head towards the Tsuchikages office. As he leaped from rooftop to rooftop, he ran through his plan over and over again.

It would be best for him to sneak in through the window, every time Deidara had ever been to that room the windows were never locked. It seemed an embarrassing oversight on the Tsuchikages part, but to Deidara, it was extremely advantageous. Once in place, he would grab the scroll and make his way back down towards the entrance where Yatsuko would be waiting for him. She was only there to ensure no one entered the building that might prove bothersome for Deidara, with any luck she would be left entirely alone.

His brow continued to furrow, it didn't seem like much of a plan, but sometimes it was best to keep things simple. Deidara paused on the roof across from the building. He squinted, trying to make out the room he was breaking in too. A smirk spread across his lips as he confirmed it was indeed empty.

As he closed the gap between him and his destination he caught a glimpse of Yatsuko down by the entrance. She was doing just as he said, standing guard while trying to remain inconspicuous. He was relieved to see that she wasn't crying like he expected she would be once he left her. Deidara slid the window open, to his relief they hadn't locked it. He crept into the room, silent as a shadow. If the scroll was where he had left it, this would be easy.

The soft snores of the man charged with guarding to door from the outside filled his ears like a beautiful symphony. It seemed his plan would go off without any unplanned killings. Deidara scanned the multiple kinjutsu scrolls scattered about when he saw it his eyes lit up like an eager child. He greedily snatched the scroll from its hiding place and unraveled it on the floor.

Deidara couldn't help but laugh slightly to himself, all it would take was a few hand signs then his art would finally reach a level of transcendence he had craved for so long but had never dreamed of being possible. The plan was to take the scroll and learn the technique after he was at a secure location with Yatsuko. He knew this would bolster his explosion technique, but he was unsure of how it would achieve that goal. It didn't matter; he could care less what the scroll did to him as long as it made him better.

He quickly did the hand signs described on the scroll, for a moment only disappointment filled him. Deidara felt no different then he had before, he rolled up the parchment with a scowl before slipping it into his pocket. In his haste he must've used the wrong signs, that was the only possible explanation. As Deidara rose to his feet, a thick, sharp pain began slowly throbbing in the palms of his hands. He quirked a curious brow as he glanced down at his seemingly unchanged hands.

As he walked towards the window, the pain grew steadily worse. Deidara clenched his jaw, trying his best not to scream. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, his heart felt as though it was hammering out of his chest and with each passing second his body grew uncomfortably warmer. He suddenly felt very foolish for deviating from the original plan; he should've known it wouldn't be an easy adjustment for his body to take in all that power. His vision began to blur slightly with each agonizing throb of pain.

"Agh! AHHHHHH" He screamed unable to contain himself any longer, the flesh in his palms burned with such heat and intensity he could barely see straight anymore. Even through gritted teeth small gasps and sobs of pain continued to slip through. Deidara raised his palms trying to get a better look, in the dense darkness. His hands trembled uncontrollably; they felt as though they were being split right down the middle. "Dammit...' He grunted.

"Who's in there?" A voice called sternly from the other side of the door, Deidara forced himself to his feet as the sound of fumbling keys filled the room. He pressed his palm against the window pane before the pain caused him to recoil. His stomach sank as another pained cry become caught in the thickness of his throat. He noticed an alarming amount of blood staining everywhere he touched, his blood. Deidara rose his left palm closer to his eyes squinting trying his best to observe his wounds. Deep gushing maroon obstructed his view; his hand began to violently tremble as he forced them to shut praying it would be enough to stop some of the bleeding.

"Fuck!" He screamed as another jolt of pain shot through his chest; he leaned his back into the window pane. He took a shaky breath before glancing down at his chest; his dark teal shirt was completely covered in blood as well. Everything would be fine, Yatsuko still hadn't run into trouble. If he could force himself from the window, she would be more than capable of carrying him to safety. She had always been adept at healing, if anyone could fix this it was Yatsuko, she wouldn't let him die. The door shot open, Deidara grimaced at the pair of Jonin who entered. He recognized them as men he had occasionally worked with but had never cared enough to learn their names.

"Deidara?" The man gasped, the shinobi glanced around the room with apparent confusion. "What are you doing here what happened? Hurry call for a medic, he's hurt." Deidara stood slumped by the window; it seemed the man was too foolish to realize what he had just done. The sharp sound of Yatsuko blowing the whistle cut through the tense silence in the room. The blonde shuddered from the pain and the fact he could no longer rely on Yatsuko to get him out of this mess. He watched with a smirk as the shinobis expression changed, it seemed the situation had finally clicked for the fool. Despite his wounds, Deidara couldn't keep a smirk from crossing his lips. "Come over here; I'm sure whatever you did we can fix."

Deidara sucked his teeth as he shoved his hand into a sack of clay he had attached to his belt praying this would work. He had only ever read about this, to do it while in this much pain seemed almost impossible.

"Stop him!" The man shouted, Deidara heard a loud crash, he glanced out the window catching a glimpse of dust and debris filling the air. It appeared Yatsuko was doing her part; she was fleeing making sure to immobilize any who tried to stop her. Deidara slipped out the window before throwing the clay creation into the room behind him. He formed a single sign and took a shaky breath.

"Katsu." He murmured, the force of the explosion was nearly enough to blow him from the roof. He didn't have a second to spare, the pain that continued to nag him seemed of little consequence. In the end, it had all been worth it; he had created something truly worthy of being called art. Deidara futilely wiped some blood from his hands before stuffing his right one back into the clay sack.

Again he had only read about this, it seemed unlikely that it would work, but he would have to give it a shot. Yatsukos scream cut through the ringing in his ears, followed by another loud crash. It was all like music to his ears; she was fast and powerful, she would find a way to make it. Deidara paused on the roof; he felt his creation was ready. He glanced down into his palm as the bloody hole spat out a clay bird covered in a deep red. Deidara made a hand sign before the bird quickly grew in size and spread its wings. It was almost enough to bring a tear to his eyes, but now wasn't the time for such foolish.

Swiftly Deidara slid on its back before it took off into the sky, Deidara smirked down at the village down below; they would hardly know what hit them. He began to laugh to himself while he used his endlessly bleeding hands to form a multitude of clay bombs. The pain that still plagued him seemed a distant memory as Deidara dispersed them at random points throughout the town. It seemed odd that no one else had tried to pursue him yet, he wouldn't squander this chance to show Iwagakure what his art truly meant. He was so much better than they had ever given him credit for after this no one would dare dispute it. Before leaving he made a hand sign, Deidaras face contorted into an eerie smirk. He stared down at the village once more there was nothing worth keeping down there anymore. They should be honored to be part of such a momentous occasion; for the first time ever his art was indeed a blast.

"Katsu." The earth rumbled and erupted in a flash, throwing countless pieces of debris through the air, Deidara willed his bird to fly higher so he could observe his most exceptional masterpiece to date. It had all been worth it. He began to laugh once again as fire engulfed much of his former village. He had succeeded, now he was free to start his life again with the only two things he had ever give a damn about.

He urged the bird towards the tree where Yatsuko would be waiting for him. Deidara was so elated all he wanted was to collapse into her arms. He smirked at the thought of seeing her, Yatsuko would never have to work another day in her life, she wouldn't need to worry about anything ever again. He would make sure that she was well taken care of and happy, she deserved nothing less. Now he felt free to love and be loved by her.

"Yatsuko!" He shouted as the bird landed, he fell from it's back and began to look around frantically. "Yatsu, are you hurt, hmm?" Only ringing and the sound of his own pounding heart answered him. Deidara let out a nervous laugh; she was must've been playing a game, there was no way in hell she wouldn't meet up with him. "Yatsuko this isn't the time for games! Come here right now we have to leave! I'm not playing around; we can't wait any longer!" The sound of the alarm blared through the silence, Deidara fell to his knees as an ugly sob escaped his lips. "Yatsu... Please... I need you." He begged, but there was no answer she wasn't there, and he couldn't wait. Deidara wiped the tears from his eyes with his bloodstained hands. This wasn't the way things were supposed to happen.


Present


Deidara shifted his straw hat as he knawed at the bottom of his lip, Yatsuko was on his mind more than usual. It had only been a few days since he had left for his mission, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried. She wasn't the same emotional, yet obedient girl he had known in Iwagakure something had changed in her. Her fierce and stubborn attitude seemed all-consuming, he could remember a time that Yatsuko believed in him and was willing to do anything to please him. Now it appeared she was merely tolerating his company. Deidara quickly pushed the thought from his mind; it was sad thinking of how he had lost the affection of the only girl he had ever cared for.

When he had seen her in that cave, all of those feelings he had tried to leave behind came flooding back. Yatsuko was right, maybe it would've been less cruel to kill her, but Deidara could never have done that, not to her. It was selfish, but he wanted her to be around, she may be miserable, but just knowing she was back in his room waiting for him to return brought a small smile to his face. The thought of her crying and begging him to kill her racked him with guilt, was that really how she felt now? Was death preferable to being with him now?

The years had seemed to change her. The look she gave him that day made her almost unrecognizable, but it had only made her even more appealing than before. She was a woman of eighteen now; her small body had become much more developed with the passage of time. Her features had lost their childlike innocence and become much more hardened and alluring. Deidara shut his eyes for a moment picturing her petite, scarred body pressed under his weight; the feeling of her squirming beneath him. He grimaced; if he hadn't been so foolhardy that night, maybe he could've prevented much of the pain she had been forced to endure. If he had just stuck to the plan then perhaps he wouldn't have been roped into joining the Akatsuki; it did no good dwelling on such things now.

"You've been oddly quiet recently," Sasori said dully, pulling Deidaras attention from his thoughts. "Don't tell me you're still thinking about that dumb girl."

"Yatsukos not just some dumb girl!" Deidara snapped, he chewed the inside of his cheek angerly. He hated himself for losing his composure so easily, as far as Sasori and the others knew Yatsuko was just some girl he was fucking. "She's clever, fierce and hot as hell even you can't disagree with that last part, hmm."

"I don't know, I found her to be rather plain looking," Sasori stated with cool indifference, "The sort of girl who wouldn't evoke so much as a second glance from me." Deidara felt anger rush through him. "I don't see why you're going through so much trouble over her. Just kill her and be done with it."

"What would you know, your whole view on art is archaic and wrong so why wouldn't your taste in women be the same, hmm!" Deidara quickened his pace, almost tempted to make a bird and leave him in the dust. How everyone couldn't see how incredible she was remained a complete mystery to him. "Why would I kill her? She's been... inspiring, hmm."

"Your infatuation with the girl will come back to bite you in the ass. However you think she feels about you, you're wrong. You're her captor and nothing more, if you think she holds any real affection for you, you're mistaken. The sooner you rid yourself of her and come back to your senses the better." Deidara stopped and glared down at his partner, "She is making you weak, I have to say I never thought you the type to let a woman lessen your resolve."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Yatsuko is little more than a plaything of mine, for now, she entertains me, keeps me on my toes, there's nothing more to it, hmm." Deidara said more defensively then he would've liked. Of course, she was so much more than that, but he couldn't tell Sasori that, he couldn't tell anyone; not even her. Her possible rejection was a wound his ego just couldn't take.

Sasori wasn't entirely wrong; Yatsuko had brought out a weakness in him. He found himself thinking of little else, Deidara was concerned for her safety when he wasn't around to protect her, especially now that he had pretty much given her free reign of the place. He was making more and more brash and irrational decisions when it came to her. Deidara even found himself wondering if Yatsuko still loved him like she once said, there were moments he was sure she did and others where he could almost taste her contempt for him. It was humiliating to think that he even cared about such things.

"It's still not too late to let me turn her into a puppet."

"Just drop it, I don't want to talk about her anymore, hmm!" He snapped, Sasori gave him a small shrug before the pair continued to walk in silence.


Upon arriving back at the compound, Deidara immediately made his way to his room. He slammed his door open and looked down at Yatsukos sleeping form. A small smile crept upon his lips; she was safe, she was still there. Deidara shed his cloak and hung it on the door before quietly making his way into bed with her. He hardly cared how filthy his traveling had made him right now he wanted nothing more than to hold her.

He carefully wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her gently against him. Her soft snores continued to fill the room as he buried his face into the back of her hair. Deidara inhaled sharply; he'd been craving her scent since he had left for his mission. Yatsuko stirred under his grasp, his cheeks burning with embarrassment at the thought of her waking up right now. He went to pull his arm away before she clasped desperately at his hand with her own.

"Don't leave..." She muttered in her sleep, Deidara softened into her once more "Dei...Don't leave me again...I need..." Her snores took over once more as Deidara settled himself behind her. He had no intention of leaving her alone again; she had just unwittingly confirmed something he had hoped. Deep down behind all the resentment, she held towards him was still that wide-eyed girl who loved him. He still had a chance to make things right.


(A/N): Hey, I couldn't wait to post this chapter. Hope you all enjoyed Deidaras' POV, let me know what you think! I have at least one more instance where it will be from his POV, but if you all enjoyed it I can easily ad more. As always thank you for reading and reviewing, I still plan to post a new chapter on Friday.