Twitty, I swear to you I had already written this chap before reading your review °O°. You'll understand why I'm saying this while reading...


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He should have seen it coming. There had been signs.

Hephaistion mentally scolded himself, all the while watching with a glint of concern in his eyes as Alexander paced about the garden like a trapped lion. The King had met his Generals privately in the morning, and had been outraged ever since. Whatever it was that had him freak out so badly, Hephaistion was now having a hard time because of it. No way they would get to their lesson anytime soon, that much was sure.

"Do you wish to share your burden with me?" The Athenian cautiously asked. He'd been a little surprised when Alexander had denied him access to the meeting Ptolemy had requested of him. Okay, maybe more than a little. He was by now used to be considered the King's right-hand man, and be allowed just about everything he might want or need. The guards and the army officers he came upon on occasion even greeted him with the same respect they held for the monarch. Why had Alexander shut him out so suddenly? Hephaistion had given it a good deal of thought, eventually resolving he must have unintentionally angered the blonde. Hence he'd decided to ask for a confrontation on the matter as soon as the other was back from his meeting, but deciphering Alexander's currently shaken state of mind had become priority.

The King didn't stop his furious pacing, but gave the philosopher a brief look. "You have no idea how… it's fucking unbelievable! How they spoke to me, like I – like they could tell me what the fuck to do, and, and smother, no, fucking mother me! Ptolemy was incredible, the fucker, he…"

"Alexander!" Hephaistion complained, tiredly rubbing his temples. "Less cursing, more getting to the point, if you don't mind."

"I was getting there." The blonde mumbled in protest. He gave up stomping his feet on the ground and joined the other under the gazebo. His lips curved in a childish pout as he sat next to the long-haired foreigner. "They were horrible to me, beauty. My heart is broken. Care to fix it?"

Hephaistion sighed in exasperation. "Stop whining and tell me what happened."

"They claim," Alexander started in a tremulous, oddly solemn voice, "it is time I take a woman as my queen."

Silence. Then, a baffled reply: "So what?"

"So what, you say?!" The blonde's rage reached quickly its peak, and he stood up abruptly, looking at the other from above. "Isn't it obvious? They did it because of you!"

Hephaistion was not purposefully trying to piss his host off. He just failed to see what the big fuss was about. "What has your getting married to do with me?"

"You cannot mean it!" Alexander looked positively incredulous. Even a tiny bit hurt, come to think of it. "It has everything to do with you, Hephaistion. Bloody everything."

The Athenian stared as the blonde fell on his seat, downcast. There's something wrong. I'm not sure I want to dig any deeper. "Alexander," he called in a soft voice, sliding a comforting arm around his shoulders, "would it be so terrible to take their advice? It is quite sound, you see."

But the King wouldn't answer. Little did Hephaistion know it was not due to resentment, though: the blonde was simply dumbstruck at the first sign of physical affection the other had mustered towards him. His hand on my shoulder. Feels so good. So right. Oh. Fucking Ptolemy won't have my head. Nor my finger to put a ring on. Alexander went on rumbling in his brain. Eventually he gazed at Hephaistion and asked in a meek voice: "You agree with them?"

Now, now. The Athenian winced uncomfortably at the pang of guilt that shot through him. Why was he feeling like a traitor? He was not. He was just trying to do what was best for… well, for the kingdom, a.k.a. for his people in Athens. That's what. He took courage and nodded. "As your mentor, I must say it is strongly recommended of you to get married."

Alexander's comeback left him at a loss for words. "And as my beautiful? How about that?"

Hephaistion knew he had to consider his actions carefully. The King was looking at him with some kind of frantic expectation sparkling in his eyes, which was not a good sign unless you were to accept a wedding proposal. But, obviously, that wasn't the case. Why would he even think about something like that at such a time?! He reprimanded himself, suddenly more than a little uneasy. "I never was." Came his panicked groan.

Alexander kept on staring very intently. "Except you are. Beautiful, I mean."

"Do you think I care about beautiful?" Hephaistion let out what was meant to sound as a casual snort, but turned into a somewhat hysteric chuckle.

His arm had started to slide from its location. The blonde put one hand of his own to rest on the other man's, keeping it in place on his shoulder. "Mine, then?" His eyes pleaded and urged at the same time. "Have been all the while, you know."

"For Zeus's sake, Alexander!" Hephaistion could take it no longer. He untangled from the one-arm embrace and jumped up, visibly shaking with growing disquiet. "Is this what you meant by saying it was about me? Ptolemy and the others wanted to meet you alone because…" Oh, no. Shit. Bloody buggering shit! "Alexander. Have you talked about me with them? Have you ever told them something inappropriate regarding your… feelings for me?"

"Something inappropriate?! Damn, Hephaistion!" The King stood up as well, too troubled to force himself on the bench. "How come you're always thinking of what the others will say or do? You're way too self-conscious for a stoic."

"Being stoic matters not when it comes to defend one's reputation. It is part of the greater Athenian code." The philosopher gave a brief explanation, then frowned. "Alexander, you're not being honest. You said you would never lie to me, remember?"

"What's there to be honest about?!" The blonde protested through gritted teeth, then placed both his hands on the other's shoulders. "You've known how I feel for you since my first invitation. Don't even try to deny it."

Hephaistion's reply was deadly quiet. "And you have known how I feel for you just as well." He bore his darkened eyes into Alexander's hopeful ones. "Which is kind of the point."

Those words had the effect they'd been uttered for. The King's hold on the Athenian's shoulders loosened as he stepped back, pale and knocked for six. "I get it. I…" But it was apparent he didn't really get it, for his hands were clenching the other's robe one moment later, clinging desperately. "You can't seriously tell me you don't… have some sort of feelings for me? I thought we were friends."

"We are!" Hephaistion assured him hastily, taking the blonde's hand in his own to soothe him. "I came to know and respect you, so much in fact I chose to remain by your side when I was offered the chance to return home. Do you not deem this to be of some importance?"

"Of course I do. I just fear some importance isn't enough for me." Alexander retorted, so sadly the other's heart skipped a beat. He raised his golden eyes to stare directly into Hephaistion's clear ones. His mouth opened and closed, his lips narrowed in a thin, severe line. "Tell me, my beautiful. Why can't you return my most obvious affection? Is it something I did, or didn't? Is it something I said, or… I don't know." He was growing nervous by the minute. The hand in Hephaistion's hold began shaking like mad. "Something I said not? Tell me, my beautiful. Tell me so I can fix it."

Not once in his entire life had Hephaistion felt that vulnerable. He bit his lip, as the man before him questioned him with amazingly livened eyes, squeezing his heart in a tight grip with the tiniest twitch of eyelashes. "It isn't you, Alexander." He started, unable to prevent guilt from slipping into his words. "I just… I have never…" He willed himself to cool down and sighed deeply. "I cannot take a lover, regardless of whether I want to. And I most certainly cannot get involved with my King, of all people."

It was the first time Hephaistion acknowledged him as his king, Alexander took in. It felt surprisingly awful, overall. Rage kicked in as he withdrew his hand, affronted. "Why in the name of Hades is that? Do not dare make excuses! I won't be played around by you." Again, he mentally added, resentful.

"It was not my intention to mock you. Please, believe me. I take your feeling seriously…"

"Yeah, sure you do!"

"… that's why I cannot reciprocate. I know it is too important to you, I could never joke about it." Hephaistion watched in pity as the blonde turned his back on him and moved towards the bench to sit down again. "I truly am sorry. For what it is worth."

"The fuck it is." Alexander snapped, but keeping his eyes glued to the ground. "You claim you don't want to hurt me, yet you're not giving but a sad excuse for an explanation. Well, I won't stand it." The King raised his head and stared pointedly at the other. "Tell me why you can't become my lover, Hephaistion, then I promise to send you back home tomorrow morning as a first thing."

"Come again?" The Athenian's eyes widened. "What is this supposed to mean? You want me here no more?" When Alexander shrugged, the young philosopher frowned in disbelief. "What became of the whole friends thing? You are willing to throw it away because of your wounded pride?!"

"Well, we're not all righteous and self-controlled like you, son of Amyntor!" Alexander shouted all of a sudden, levelling his gaze with Hephaistion's. "Then, yes, since you don't enjoy being around me, I won't make both you and me endure this torture any longer. You can't stand my presence, and I yours, if I'm not allowed to touch you and care for you like I'd love to." His firmness faltered, taken over by a shade of sorrow. "Therefore we're much better off apart. You must think so too."

The long-haired man was by now shaking with unfulfilled resentment. "As a matter of fact, I don't." He spat vehemently, then stepped towards the blonde and knelt before him. Let's see if this gets my point across. "Listen to me. I do enjoy your company, Alexander. Lately I've had plenty of time to reconsider some things I thought I knew about myself, and I came to the conclusion you are my first true friend. Of course I had acquaintances back in Athens, but what's with all of them? No one came looking for me, after Cassander took me away for who knows what reason. I reckon they hardly noticed my disappearance at all. But you," and he smiled, as tenderly as he could manage, "you would certainly know if something happened to me, and I am sure you would care. Have you any idea how comforting a thought is this, for someone who is left with no family nor home like me?" Here Hephaistion paused to study the changes in Alexander's features. The King was mute, his eyes a little more rounded than usual. He was evidently astonished, and wasn't rebelling. Encouraged, the philosopher went on. "It was always very hard for me to make friends, as my beliefs make me doubt people and question their intentions all the time. I never trust somebody implicitly, you know."

"No one does." Came Alexander's attempt at interrupting.

"That's false. You do." Hephaistion watched the monarch from his kneeling position, and felt a smile break on his lips once more. "You wanted me here bad, yet you knew nothing about me. When you summoned me, you took no precautions whatsoever. What if I had planned to harm you? We were alone. Nothing would have stopped me, and you know you had given me more than enough reasons to lose control and just assault you. You did trust me implicitly then, and you still do now, for you're serving me your heart on a plate." The Athenian had to look away, unable to stand the pained look on the other's face. Who am I to make him so miserable? Him, a king? I have no right. "And now I'm hurting you. See what you get for giving yourself so freely to someone else?"

It literally dawned on Alexander, like a most awaited flicker of hope. "Is this the reason for your refusal, my beauty? You afraid to let your guard down and get hurt?" Please, oh please, sweet Aphrodite, may this be it. May this be it, so we can do away with the nonsense and yield to our love at last.

"I'm sorry, Alexander."

No way.

"It isn't just that."

No way…

"I cannot take you as my lover, not now nor ever."

No way! "Why? Because I'm mother-fucking king? Because I'm a foreigner? Because I'm male?"

Hephaistion shook his head, slowly and sadly. "It is all and none of this at the same time. Yes, you are king, and as a king you have many duties to attend – one being, like your Generals wisely pointed out this morning, producing an heir. Something I most obviously could not grant you. And, yes, your being Macedonian would be considered a con on the column by many, but I know your pros more than make up for it. As you see, it is not that simple."

"I don't see a bloody thing, 'xcept you rejecting me without leaving me the privilege to keep my dignity and know the sodding reason why!" The monarch lost his temper and stood up, shoving Hephaistion away in the process.

The Athenian scrambled on his feet and faced the blonde before him. "If you only paid me some more atten – "

He never got to finish his sentence. Alexander's mouth pressed hard on his, like it'd done that day by the stream back in Athens. This kiss felt so much different, though. It wasn't an arrogant challenge, rather a desperate effort. The hands keeping Hephaistion in place weren't strong and seductive, but felt more like a needy lover's grip – and a fairly unsteady one to it. The King didn't even go for forcing the unresponsive mouth open, preferring cautious feather-like kisses instead. The young philosopher registered all these details vaguely, like his body going limp in the other's arms was part of a fleeting dream, together with the languor possessing him. It felt strangely nice, giving in to abandon in Alexander's hold. It dissipated much of the stress and anguish from the past hour. Although he wouldn't let himself reciprocate, Hephaistion didn't fight against the kiss like he had that long-gone day.

Alexander had come to understand those he used to call worshipping idiots. For worshipping he was, tracing light paths with his fingers on his beloved's arms, and adoring his precious lips with quick, loving pecks. It wasn't anywhere near enough, but at least Hephaistion wasn't pushing him away. Being able to breathe in his scent and feel his body warmth under the palms will have to do. He didn't want to risk this brief moment of peace by pushing it – or so he told himself. But, Gods, was it difficult! It took every single ounce of his willpower not to grind his hips into his dear one's, or plunge his tongue to break through those rosy-like lips and enter that gorgeous mouth. Sweet Circe, Hephaistion's mouth had haunted the King's dreams every night since they'd first kissed, maybe even before then. It seemed made to brush, kiss, bite and suck. Alexander had brought himself to climax many times with the image of that mouth around his erection, and the thought of the wet heat awaiting inside of it, crossing his mind.

That kind of memory would do him no good at present, though. The blonde became distinctly aroused, and silently prayed each god he knew Hephaistion didn't notice. But up in the Olympus they had certainly decided to have a good laugh at his expenses, because the Athenian felt Alexander's hardness against his stomach and pulled away at once, like the sole idea had scared him shitless. Which was probably the case.

Hephaistion broke the silence first. His voice was saddened and grave. "It would seem you really cannot handle being just friends."

"I tried." The blonde wouldn't look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are." Was the quiet reply. What, now? It feels pretty weird. Guess it's up to me to make it right again. "If this is the way things are going to be between us from now on," he ended in a low murmur, "then I'd better do as you said and leave. It has already affected us both too much."

Both? That means he, too… "If this is what you wish." Alexander folded his arms over his chest in protection.

"Do not make it sound like I am the one who wanted this!" Hephaistion bit back, but with little force. "Everything was just fine by me. Then you had to go and talk…"

What?! He can't be serious! "Forgive me for trying to make my agony a little more bearable!" The King gave his beloved an admonishing look, that quickly turned to one of blinding rage. "You, you – you jerk!"

"Arsehole!"

That word sounded so odd coming from the Athenian white-hat it was almost funny. Pity Alexander didn't exactly feel like laughing. "Why the fuck would I be the asshole, now?!"

"I said I can't be your lover. Not that I don't want to."

come again?

Hephaistion snorted at the blonde's dumbfounded expression. "Had you only held on to hear my explanation, rather than assault me, you would have spared us both a lot of time. Like I said, I cannot take any lover, for my civil status and my beliefs forbid it. It has nothing to do with you, although your being king might turn out to be an even greater impediment. Not to mention your apparent incapability to keep your hands to yourself." He added on a second thought.

Alexander didn't know whether to feel insulted or sigh in relief. This man is out of his pretty, pretty head. "This is – and don't think I'll forget that you've poked fun of me – this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! So it is true you stoics never get laid!"

Hephaistion studied the blonde's relaxed demeanour and knew the storm had passed. "I am so not answering this." Then he turned on his heels and made to exit the garden.

"Wait! Hey, my beauty! Where are you goin'?"

The philosopher replied without turning. "Inside. Our lesson time is over. I'm a free man from noon to three in the afternoon!"

"Wha – hold on!" The King followed his guest with big steps. "What about the other part?"

"Pardon?"

"You explained the 'cannot take lovers' part, even if it's total bullshit. What about the part concerning me?"

"I can't remember saying anything about you."

"The 'not that I don't want to' part. Come on! You know perfectly well what I want to hear!"

Normally, Hephaistion wasn't the vengeful type. Sometimes though an exception was due. Keeping Alexander on pins and needles would do wonders for his inner peace and serve the blonde dumbass just right for the fuss he'd caused.

All the answer the King got was a cruel smirk. "As I have eloquently shown this morning, I'm not good at saying what you want to hear. Therefore I'd better not say a single word. Have a nice day, Your Majesty!"


The rest of the day had gone by uneventful. Alexander had made sure to glare at every one of his Generals and ignored Ptolemy and Cleitus's attempts at having a talk with him. He'd practically bit Cassander's head off when the slut had offered to keep him company at night to 'lighten his mood'. One wouldn't believe how many times had he let that whore warm his bed. It all seemed so dirty now that Hephaistion was in his life. Well, not as a lover – not yet, the King allowed himself to be optimistic – but the Athenian's constant presence by his side had helped him make it through the day when there was no one else he felt like having around.

Alexander sighed and turned on his side, kicking off the bed sheets. The scene lived in the garden kept replaying in his head: hundreds and hundreds of Hephaistions crowding his already oversensitive brain. It was too fucking much. And the man's words at the end of their sparring… what had he meant? Alexander had the feeling he wouldn't be able to get some sleep until he'd set that clear.

Another kick under the covers. It's so bloody hot tonight. Gonna get a glass of water. But the moment his feet touched the ground, his intent diverged and a new resolution took shape at the back of his mind.

The blonde found himself sliding down the hallways as furtive as a thief. He knew Hephaistion's chamber was two rooms away from his, but somewhat secluded – that location had been accurately arranged to keep the man close without exposing him to Olympia's frequent sleepwalking. Alexander had to pass around a corner and stick perfectly to the wall to cross the narrow edge leading to Hephaistion's door. My treasured precious thing.

There he was. Knock-knock.

Second time's the trick! Knock-knock.

The King said knock-knock!

"What on Earth are you doing here, Alexander? It's night-time!"

Oh. His beautiful looked so, well, so beautiful in that just-got-off-the-bed fashion! The King felt his pulse speed up and a moronic grin spread on his face. "Joy to you, sweetheart. I'm sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep – not that you need any – but I couldn't seem to, y'know, crash, so I…"

Sweetheart? "Do you want me to knock you off?" Hephaistion laid tiredly against the door frame, then yawned.

Fuck, it really is hot tonight. "No, no, of course not, you foolish adorable thing. I've come to get you to tell what you kept from me earlier this morning."

"You mean yesterday morning. How could you wake me at such an inhuman hour for something this trivial, Alexander?" The Athenian rubbed his eyes and grimaced. "Anyway, what makes you think I will be more willing to tell you now what I refused to tell you before? It is typical of you, to believe everyone's at your whims all the…"

"I'm falling in love with you."

Bugger. Alexander sought for support against the door, as all blood travelled from his head to his cheeks. He had not fucking intended to say that now. Or ever, for that matter. He'd already made an ass of himself in the morning. What in the name of Hades is wrong with me? Am I really this shameless?! "I'm sorry – I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm sorry I told you like this, but I'm not… sorry I told you. And I'm most certainly not sorry for feeling this way. I…" He took a deep breath, all the while avoiding Hephaistion's gaze. "I couldn't sleep, so I kept thinking and thinking and, y'know, thinking, and suddenly I realized all I was fucking thinking about was you. I've thought of nothing but you since you first rejected me, at the coronation ceremony. Having you here makes it worse, in a way – but wonderful in the other, so don't you start with the leaving bullshit again, yeah? And I didn't, y'know, think you would be at my whims 'cause I'm the almighty king, or shit, I just – and I didn't think you had to know, least of all being interested in what I had to say – wanted to, wanted to see you. Not really talk to you, I mean, not, y'know, tell you. Tell you this. Which doesn't make it any less true, by the way. I just…"

"You speak too much."

Alexander felt his hopes rise up at the promising sentence. Was Hephaistion about to grip him and kiss him stupid right there on the threshold…?

… what Hephaistion seemed about to do was actually falling asleep on his feet. "I will tell you what I meant yesterday morning, if this gets me to go back to sleep." He started in a yawn, lifting his foggy eyes to stare at the blonde. "When I said I would not take you as my lover neither if I wanted to, I meant just that. If I were to take a lover now, then fine, maybe you would stand a chance. The point is, I am not taking any." The Athenian shut his eyes tightly and re-opened them, but they were reddened with sleep. "Good night, now."

"Wait!" Alexander prevented the door from closing with a push of his shoulder. "You mean you like me, right? If you're willing to become my lover…"

"I haven't said that. Good night, Alexander."

"Okay, fine." Better not look too demanding, he's gonna get scared and run off. Like a cute frightened kitty! "Kiss goodnight?" The King grinned in a suggestive manner and raised one eyebrow.

He'd not quite expected Hephaistion to let out an irritated breath yet oblige nonetheless. True, it was a brief contact, and the kiss was on the forehead – but his beloved's lips had really touched his skin spontaneously (almost so), and with such rough passion (actually haste), like he was to convey all his love and desire in a single action (like he wanted to be done as quickly as possible)… there was no doubt the man was going to become his.

The door shut on a smiling Alexander, who was all lost in a somewhat dreamy stupor. Hephaistion, Hephaistion had kissed him. His master Hephaistion. No, his friend Hephaistion. Yes, that was kind of it. His precious, magnificent friend Hephaistion… whom he was falling head over heels in love with.

The King returned to his chamber walking three meters above the ground.


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Classyblue: me, an amazing writer?! I barely speak English at all '^^! Thank you so much for saying it, though *_*.

Twitty: last chapter was dense indeed. I used a technique, what'sitcalled? Ellisse, in Italian. Means the story goes on very fast, and many episodes are skipped to highlight the most important. However, it was intentional =) . Thank you so much for your reviews and your acute observations!

Thanks to geolke, Troilus, Nerdvi and lourdes too! New reviewers make a writer just as happy as old reviewers do! :3

Hope you liked this chapter ^^ (and no, Hephaistiion isn't putting out so soon!)