A/N: Sooo I'm terribly sorry. I suck! Please reviewwwww im working on chapter 10 right now and getting reviews will make me write fasterrr!
Disclaimer: As you all know, I don't actually own Harry Potter :(
Hermione woke up and realized she was not in her bed, there were subtle signs that alerted her to this. One was that her bed was not this hard, the bed in the head dormitory was the softest bed she had ever slept on, the one she was laying on now was kind of hard. The biggest hint was the three sets of snoring she could hear. She opened her eyes and looked around, she was in the Gryffindor boys dormitory. The previous night came back to her and she wished that she could have still been sleeping. After finding out that Draco was a Death Eater she had run up to the Gryffindor common room, she had been in quite a state and didn't know where else to go. She had found Harry and Ron in the common room playing wizard's chess.
They had looked over at her startled by her abrupt appearance. She came in winded because she had run the whole way, trying to run from the memories and the revelations the night had held. As soon as she saw the boys she felt relief, she knew it would be short lived but at the time she didn't care. She needed something, anything, to get rid of this pain. It was almost crippling, she knew that she couldn't stop to think or analyze it because it would surely incapacitate her. Then she had to avoid the reason for why it hurt so much. Harry had been thinking all year that Dra- MALFOY was a Death Eater, but she had denied it not believing, not wanting it to be true. It should not have to come to shock her so badly and yet it had.
Ron was the first one to break the silence that was slowly building up in the room while all of these thoughts were running through Hermione's head at a mile a min. He cleared his throat, "Hey Mione," He said with a hesitant smile, not doubt a little bewildered by her flustered and late night visit.
Hermione realized that she was going to have to act like everything was ok, there was no way she could tell these two what had happened, they could never understand. If there was one thing that D- MALFOY had taught Hermione it was how to act. Every time he called her mudblood, after the first time, she swore she would ever let him see how much it hurt her. And she had perfected it. Now she was going to put that skill to good use.
"Hey boys," She said making a smile light her face, she wasn't sure how genuine it looked but she was going to try her damned hardest, "I realized that it's been a while since we've hung out and I decided that I'm going to sleep here tonight."
Harry looked a little skeptical, he wasn't completely buying her story. Ron on the other hand was a bit too eager to accept it.
Before Ron could say anything Harry started talking, "So you decided to run here in the middle of the night just because you missed us so much?" His skepticism thoroughly laced throughout his question.
"Well," Hermione said quickly coming up with a lie, "I noticed that it was getting late, and I wanted to make sure I caught you in the common room. I wanted to spend some time with you guys and then since it is getting late I figured why not just make a night of it. That is, well as long as you guys don't mind."
"Of course not Mione!" Ron said happily, "I'll even sleep on the floor so that you can take my bed." He said with a smile, and the turning to Harry he said, "you know mate you need to lighten up. Of course Mione's here because she missed us."
Hermione felt guilt shoot through her at Ron's statement. She hadn't been spending very much time with her best friends, and she should be here because she missed them. She was beginning to feel like a horrible person. That stupid Slytherin wanker was rubbing off on her.
Harry was looking between the two of them. He seemed to know Hermione better than Ron did which was a concept he could not understand because he knew that Ron fancied Hermione. Although Harry could tell that there was something Hermione was not telling them he decided not to push it. He trusted her judgment and knew that she would talk about it when she was ready. Her fake smiles and lies could not get past him but he knew better than to try to confront her. It was obvious she wanted to be around them and try to forget about her problems for a little bit so he figured there was no harm in obliging her. He knew what it was like, having lost Sirius last year. There were times where Harry would rather have a double potions class with Snape than think about what was going on.
Hermione came back to the present, the pain back from having to remember last night. She didn't understand how he could be a Death Eater, this year had changed her entire perception of him she knew he was not the muggle hater he pretended to be. If he was then all of their interactions this year could not have happened. He would have let Crabbe and Goyle…do what they were going to. They would not have had the moments that they did or the comforting silences or… their kisses. She had no idea what she was going to do about this whole situation. Should she tell someone? Harry would instantly go to Dumbledore and she was not sure what he would do about the situation. Draco, like the rest of them, was only a child. They were all children slowly being forced to play grown up, be in a war which is something that even a lot of grown men and women never have to experience firsthand like they were going to have to. The world was not fair and in all their cases it could be fatal. Maybe…maybe Malfoy really didn't have a choice, the rest of them did not really have one about being in a war or not. Hermione just happened to be on the right side, but maybe that was only because she was a muggleborn. What if she had been raised the way that he had? To be taught from birth that you are better than everyone else and certain people did not deserve to live. Could she honestly say that she would be on the right side?
She thought of Lupin, he was a pureblood on the right side, but he was a werewolf. Maybe his family had shunned him and he realized how wrong the ideals were. Sirius Black had been on the side of the light even though he had come from the notorious Black pureblood line. But he had met James and Lily Potter they were the ones who showed him how wrong the teachings were. Maybe Malfoy just hadn't met someone who could challenge and change his views. She thought back on the last couple months of school. He HAD changed…maybe just maybe she had been the catalyst for him. He just really could not have gotten out of it.
Voldemort did not seem like one who would take no for an answer, maybe Draco had been threatened. What if Voldemort had threatened someone Draco loves.
Hermione's head was swimming with a thousand possibilities. He had said that he had not had a choice, maybe Hermione Granger Gryffindor know-it-all, brightest witch of her age, was wrong. She had no idea what it was like to grow up in a home where every aspect of your life was laid out before you. Half of purebloods had been betrothed from birth if that wasn't medieval and barbaric enough. That kind of control probably could not be broken very easily. And the Malfoy's were one of the oldest pureblood lines, Draco was half Malfoy half Black, two of the most notorious lines.
She needed to get out of bed, maybe go for a walk all of these thought were not healthy she was starting to obsess over it. It was time to go to the library and read up on some things. Maybe finish up her homework to not think about…him. With that in mind she got up and fell, right on top of Ron.
"Hmm…wha..what?" Ron said startled.
Hermione started blushing, "oh Ron," She said trying to get up, "I'm so sorry, I forgot that you were there."
Hermione reached out a hand to let Ron up, he took it and was standing very close to her.
" 's ok Mione." He said with a sleepy smile. "What are you doing up so early anyways? It's only 6 o'clock, you should go back to bed."
"I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep, you should try to get some in your own bed." She said with a smile trying to walk away.
Ron grabbed her arm saying, "you sure? I mean..uhh.." Ron started to blush, Hermione could see it in the faint light coming from the windows, "what I mean to say is that we could probably both fit on the bed if you want to try to go back to sleep."
Hermione could not believe that he had said that. She had had a feeling that MAYBE Ron fancied her but this, this was bold for him. She decided that it would be best for both of them if she played it off like it was no big deal. She had too much to deal with already without adding Ron into the mix of everything else.
"Oh no Ron, really I'm fine. Thank you anyways." Putting on a big smile Hermione once again went to exit the room.
She heard him mumble something along the lines of , "ok" as she walked out of the door.
Breathing a sigh of relief as the door closed behind her, Hermione started to make her way down the stairs to the common room. To her surprise Harry was up, sitting on one of the couches.
He looked up as she made her way down the stairs, he looked like he had not slept at all. Hermione felt another pang of guilt as she realized he had not been looking very good all year, she had just been too busy to really notice or pay attention.
"Hi." Harry said his voice rough with exhaustion.
"Hey Harry," She said, "Are you alright? You look like you didn't get a wink of sleep."
"Yea, I feel like I haven't gotten sleep in months." Harry said a grimace contorting his face, "I..I just have nightmares, sometimes it exactly what happened that night. Other times its versions of that night, worse things happening like you or Ron, sometimes you and Ron and Sirius dying. Sometimes it's easier to just not sleep."
"Oh Harry!" Hermione said running the rest of the way to him, she wrapped her arms around him the second she reached him. "I'm so sorry I haven't been around much! You should have told me about this sooner. "
"You've been busy. And I didn't want to say anything, I was hoping they would just go away on their own but they haven't. I just can't take it anymore, I forget what it feels like to sleep for a whole night. Speaking of, you're up a bit early yourself."
She could not place the tone in his voice and let go of him so she could look at his face and she sort of wished that she hadn't. Harry knew her better than anyone else in the world. People often misinterpreted their relationship thinking that there was more because they were so close to each other. His face said that he knew there was something going on, something she was not telling him.
"I just woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep is all." Hermione said feigning innocence.
"Do I look like Ron to you? I could tell something was wrong last night, I let it go because obviously you didn't want to talk about it, having just shared what's bothering me I was hoping that you would also be in the sharing mood."
"Harry, I…" Hermione hesitated, her earlier dilemma back, Harry would want to go straight to Dumbledore as would she if it were anyone else. But it wasn't someone else it was Draco…and she just could not turn him in.
"I'm really not ready to talk about it." She decided that being honest with him was the best way to go. Honest but without really telling him at all.
"I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. I trust you more then I trust anyone else in the whole world Hermione. You are the closest thing to family that I have left."
"You have Ron too Harry." She had to point it out even though she knew it was not the same with Ron as it was with them.
Harry gave her the look, the one that said she knew it was different.
"I love Ron. He is my best friend. You know, as well as I do, that because we are only children we understand each other. We both also grew up in the muggle world, not knowing about magic. We are like brother and sister only much closer than that."
"I know Harry, I know. And I trust you more than I trust anyone else in the world too. I just am really not ready to talk about it."
"Ok, well when you are, you know right where you can find me." Harry pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead.
They sat together, Hermione's head on Harry's shoulder with Harry's arm wrapped around her for a long time. Just enjoying each other's company and taking comfort in one another.
