Author's Notes: I must apologize profusely to Courtney and the readers for taking so long this chapter! I've had (literally) non-stop rehearsals and performances from my school's jazz band and the district wide Honor Band (yes, I'm apart of it). But I finally got it out!

WARNING: Tear jerker (or I hope it is)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Go read my new Somewei Original Story (SOS): Classic Hollywood!!


Chapter 9: Avoidance

"Who's Brannon?"

I blinked and realized that during my rant to Andrea, I had let it slip about Brannon! I was just so focused in on ranting about my stress and problems that I hadn't even realized what I had done. I knew I couldn't say he was from Beachville because she knew all the members – minus the freshmen, but even I hadn't met them yet. My mind raced, trying to come up with a quick answer, stuttering in the process. She stared at me expectantly until I finally blurted out, "He's a guy I met during my internship with the Blue Devils! He' s just upset with me. I've been going back and forth with calls from him and Isaac."

I could've slapped myself. That answer was just so damn obvious. But as I watched her expression change, my heart pounded in my ears. Her face went from confusion to a disbelieving one. I swear when I saw the looks, my heart stopped and I thought everything was done before we even started. I was about to explain myself when Andrea suddenly said, "Vanessa, you aren't…um…cheating, are you?"

I had two reactions to that. One, I felt like laughing in relief because she didn't say what I thought she was going to say ("You're lying and yadda, yadda, yadda"). The other reaction was I felt like yelling at her for even thinking I was cheating on Isaac (even if he was being a jackass at the moment). So, instead, I laughed lightly and said, "No! He's just a friend! Really! I swear! And he'll always be just a friend! I mean, at the rate I'm going, I'll loose him as a friend too."

I. am. Bipolar.

Andrea nodded slowly, obviously still a little concerned for me (Hell, I was concerned for myself…or at least my sanity). When I finally told her I was fine, which took some convincing, she said her farewells and took off. And as she left, I had distinct feeling she didn't believe most of what I said. I brushed it off, though, and shook my head. I checked my watch to see what time it was before I walked off and headed towards my room.

When I got there, I found no one occupying it. I figured Brannon must have been off with Bronwyn. Or at least I hoped Brannon was with Bronwyn. I really didn't even want to think about him being with Meredith.

This thought brought me back to my problems. I felt almost ridiculous for the way I was acting. I knew I shouldn't have snapped at Brannon the way I did and I knew I should probably make nice with Meredith, but (what I had assumed was) pride was what stopped me. I didn't want to make nice with Meredith yet. I didn't want to apologize to Brannon because, despite what I knew what was right, I wanted him to apologize to me. For what? I didn't know. I think I just wanted him to so I would feel better.

I groaned and sat on my bed. This was so very wrong! I was being a selfish brat and I needed to get over myself. I pinched the bridge of my nose and brought out my cell phone. I flipped it open and went through my contact list. I needed to call someone. Anyone. Several names came out at me that I could call.

Arcadia?

No. She would probably let me talk and then lecture me in her gentle voice about I was wrong about both Brannon and Meredith. She would also say I need to apologize. And although that was the right thing to do, I didn't want a lecture. I just wanted to vent.

Chase?

Again, no. First, he graduated this past year and wouldn't want to be bothered by little high school and immature problems. And I guess there really wasn't a 'second'

Derek?

God no. My brother will want to know the whole situation and that would be fatal. He (and my parents when they found out because they will find out if I tell Derek anything) would demand my return promptly because I was rooming with a (disguised) boy. Not to mention the Cadettes could potentially be disqualified for my mistake. Bad idea.

Eric?

First, he would laugh. Then, he would tell Derek. So, no.

Erin?

She might help. She would also be the most understanding. She would let me vent and then agree with me. Too bad, one, she had her cell phone taken from her because she went passed her curfew and two, she was visiting her sister in Michigan. Erin was out of reach.

Marina?

Yeah, the girl was just too happy-go-lucky and "random" (no offense to her, though). Not to mention she was visiting family in France.

Paige?

Paige would be like Arcadia and lecture. The difference? She would say that I needed to break up with Isaac. I couldn't deal with that at the moment.

Tina?

She would be too focused on the fact that I was rooming with Emperor Hottie.

Wilson?

Another good one. He was my best friend. He would let me vent and probably tell me what I wanted and needed to hear in a way I wouldn't get defensive and shut down on him. So, I decided, I would call him. He was the best candidate for the job.

I dialed his number and hoped to God that he wasn't with Paige. I waited for Wilson to pick up the phone, anticipation slowly creeping over me. One ring. Two rings. Three, four, five and still no answer. I began to consider hanging up when I heard his voice on the other line. I sighed in relief, "I want to go home."

I think I caught him off guard because he grunted a few confused responses before giving his own exasperated sigh. I felt bad for calling him briefly, knowing he was still a guy and didn't like dealing with all this girl crap. "Nessa, you can't come home. You're a drum major, remember? You can't leave and let down the Cadettes."

"But…" I groaned and fell back on my bed, covering my eyes from the world. This was just too much for me. And what was worse was the fact that I wasn't even stressed about drum major duties (yet), but rather the precarious situation I had landed myself in. The constant arguing between the two boys. Going back and forth between Brannon and Isaac. It was starting to wear on me even though it had only been a couple of days. "Wilson, I'm not worried about band or corps at all!"

Silence. "Then what are you worried about?"

Now there was silence from me for a brief moment. I was hesitant to give him a response because I was scared what he would think of me. I was afraid that he would judge me too harshly. I had almost regretted calling him – even if he was my best friend. My mouth, though, was not following my mind because, suddenly, I blurted out, "Isaac is just giving me way too many problems! And Brannon (you remember him, right?) is pissed at me! I can't go between the two!"

Again, a sigh. "Vanessa, I'm going to tell you straight out: dump Isaac and apologize to Brannon. You can't avoid both situations; it's eventually going to catch up with you. So, you either suck it up and do what you need to do or stop complaining. Like I said, in the end, it's going to catch up with you."

I hadn't expected Wilson to tell me this. I didn't expect him to lecture me and point blank tell me what he had said. He definitely told me what I needed to hear, but not what I wanted to hear. At first, I had thought of accepting his advice. To march up to Brannon and apologize for how I acted. That I allowed my jealousy and pride to get in the way of making a new friendship and ruining potentially another. To call up Isaac and tell him that it was over with. To end two years worth of a relationship suddenly and, more importantly, have the courage to say that.

Yeah, that would go over well.

Hey, Brannon, I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was just jealous of the fact you were flirting with a prettier, older girl. Let's make no never mind that I am currently in a relationship and you're single and available to do that. So, let bygones be bygones?

And if that wasn't bad enough, my breakup with Isaac sounded no better in my head than the apology with Brannon. Actually, it sounded worse than my apology to my disguised roommate.

Isaac, I'm ending our relationship of two years. Why, you ask? Oh, because I am completely jealous that my friend Brannon is hitting on the co-guard captain of the Cadettes and Bronwyn's friend. And if that isn't enough, Isaac, I think you're being a jackass. End of story. Goodbye. Have a fun time in class! TTYL!

I groaned. Okay, maybe those weren't the exact words that I should or would use, but it was the complete, bare-naked truth. Stripped down to what the real reasons were. And you know what? I really didn't want to go out and blurt the sugarcoated version of the truth. I wanted to do the furthest opposite. I wanted to hide underneath my covers and make all the monsters go away.

And then the angry twinge came and I swear that anything that ever annoyed me about Wilson came up (which wasn't anything major). I suddenly felt rebellious. I wasn't going to do what he suggested just to spite him. I could avoid the situations and that they wouldn't catch up to me. I wanted, meekly might I add, to prove Wilson wrong. Instead of saying this though, I muttered out, "Yeah, thanks, Wilson."

"No problem, Nessa," He replied tiredly.

I quickly let him go and rolled over on my stomach, throwing my cell phone towards the pillows. It landed just an inch from the pillows and I stared at the tiny black object. As I stared at it, various thoughts passed through my head. Some of the thoughts were so fleeting, I couldn't grasp them and others just haunted me. But one thought remained firmly planted into the gray matter that was my brain: I had to avoid both Brannon and Isaac.

At least until I came up with a solution other than the one presented to me.


The avoiding part for Brannon was probably the hardest. At least with Isaac, if he called, I could at least ignore the call. But Brannon seemed to be everywhere I went. It was ridiculous! If I wanted to find him, he was nowhere to be found. If I wanted to avoid him, he was everywhere. Whether he was with Meredith or Bronwyn or with neither, he was there. Luckily, I could swerve out of the way in time. If he saw me each time, I'll never know, but I had seemed determined to remain out of Brannon's way (or was it keep him away from me?).

By the early evening, I was relieved to see the day was almost done. I knew that (after the last rehearsal that day), Brannon would be forced to return his room. And me? I would get to patrol the corridors along with the other captains and instructors. That meant I got to avoid Brannon for that time. It gave him time to fall asleep. I couldn't be happier.

Bronwyn, at one point, had shot me a look. I caught her eyes and I saw them flicker over to Brannon's figure during one of our breaks in rehearsal. I pursed my lips. I knew she was silently trying to figure out what was going on between him and me, but I wasn't about to give in. I made a vow (albeit a silent one) to not give up on my determination and prove Wilson wrong.

When we got out of rehearsal (the corps was starting to shape up really well), I immediately darted out of the room when I notice both Brannon and Bronwyn heading towards me. I hurriedly move down the hallways, trying to find a safe place to hide, but having no success. I glanced behind to see if they were following and the most embarrassing thing happened to me –

I slammed into an open door.

I yelped out in shock and pain and collided with the ground. Once my eyes focused from the fall, I had glanced up to find Bronwyn, Brannon and a girl – the one who delivered me the message from the first day (what was her name again? Suze? Susannah? Susan?) – staring down at me. Brannon looked torn between laughing and helping me up. I just wanted to slap him.

The girl's face paled when she saw my tight expression (which wasn't directed at her, but rather at Brannon) and stumbled out, "I-I'm sorry, Vanessa! Erm…um, Ma'am? I mean…"

"Susie," I interrupted, hoping I got her name right. She stopped talking and looked at me. I felt somewhat satisfied that I had gotten her name right. I began sitting up. "It's no problem. Really. I wasn't paying attention. It's not your fault and I'm not mad."

I started getting up and Brannon stretched his hand to help me up. I didn't take it. It was a bit childish, but, again, I wanted to prove to Wilson I could avoid my problem: Brannon. A flash of hurt passed over his face and I forced myself to not pay attention. He recoiled his hand as I stood up on my own. Bronwyn must have noticed the exchange, but wisely said nothing to it. Rather, she said, "Are you okay, Vanessa? You seem off…"

"I'm fine," I reassured quickly. She looked at me, surprised. Brannon opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly cut him off. "I have to go. I need to talk to Andrea about something."

It was a complete and utter lie. I didn't need to talk to Andrea and I knew for a fact she didn't need to talk to me. But I was going to avoid Brannon to the best of my ability. So, when I rapidly left the three of them in the dust, I was fairly sure that I had shocked B and Brannon.


The rest of the day had been fairly simple. Brannon seemed to have gotten the hint and left me alone. Bronwyn, though, seemed somewhat disappointed with my behavior, but I remained determined (or was it stubborn?) to complete my task.

Before curfew for the band, I had slipped into my room, hoping to rest for a little while before I had to go patrol the corridors. I figured now would be a perfect time since everyone was at dinner and possibly wouldn't be back for awhile. I slunk over to my bed and collapsed on top of the covers. My eyes, heavy from exhaustion, began closing. In fact, they were almost shut when I felt a consistent vibration coming from my pocket. I frowned in irritation and brought out the phone.

Isaac calling…

At first, I considered not answering because every time I answered, he did nothing but lecture me for something I did wrong. And another thing was that I had a feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. I was nauseated and very jittery. Despite my ominous feelings and my promise to avoid my problems, I answered the phone, "Hello?"

There was silence and for a moment I had thought that he had hung up on me. The only thing that kept me from actually thinking that he had was the fact that there was the noise in the background. I was about to hang up on him, regretting even answering in the first place, when I heard Isaac say weakly, "Vanessa?"

I sighed heavily, trying to tame my nervous feelings, "What, Isaac? If you're going to yell at me for something, I don't want to hear it right now. I'm about to run to a rehearsal."

The rehearsal part wasn't necessarily true (after all, we just ended one), but I felt the need to have an excuse to get off the phone. Besides, Isaac didn't know my schedule. He didn't know if what I said was true nor could he verify it. He, however, solemnly said, "No, no, Vanessa. I, uh, didn't call to do that. Actually, um, I called for another reason."

He was stuttering. That was the thing that flashed through my mind instantly, and (what it seemed like) different speeds. He never stuttered unless he was nervous about something. This was not a good sign. Why would Isaac be nervous about talking to me? Sure, we were arguing, but it gave him no reason to be nervous. I sat up, my eyebrows furrowing, "Then why are you calling? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, yeah…" He sighed. "Look…"

He paused again. I was faintly aware that the doors was opening behind me and I was even more vaguely aware of a person's voice in the background on Isaac's end. I was too focused in on Isaac and my pounding heart and sinking feeling in my stomach. I breathed out and murmured, "What?"

He sighed again. I could hear rustling on his end and realized he was pacing. "Look, I think…well, look…I thought about how much the two of us argue lately and I realized it was just too much. Not to mention the fact that it's a little hard with me in college and you still in high school…"

I blanked with what he said next because it felt my heart dropped. He had said the words. The words that, when he went off to college in Boston, scared me. With me in college and you still in high school. Those were the words I never wanted to hear. They were an excuse, I knew. Because if he really cared, it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter if I was still in high school and he in college. It wouldn't have mattered what the distance between us was.

My hands began shaking. I almost faltered my grip on my phone because I could feel my skin get sticky with sweat. I felt a little weak and like my body was going to give out on me. Even my brain felt like it was going to shut down as soon as those words slipped out of his mouth. I always knew that it was coming and that it was coming soon, but I had wanted to put it off. He was my first boyfriend. I had gone through hell and high water to get him. I battled rumors and his ex-girlfriend. It was almost not fair.

My heart ached. I shouldn't have answered the phone. Had I avoided the call, I wouldn't be feeling this pain right now. But Wilson's words bit me in the butt. I couldn't run from my problems, it seemed. My heart pounded in my ears and my lips went dry. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

Again, silence until, "Yeah." I closed my eyes and tried to contain my shaky emotions. Isaac spoke again, "Look, V, I'm sorry…really…I am."

"It's okay," I cut off, once my voice was even. I was hurting, but I was not going to loose face over the phone with him. He started up until I interjected again, "I have to go. Rehearsal, you know. They can't start without me. Drum major and all."

"But – "

I hung up before I rambled any further and he could get any further. I closed my eyes again and released a shaky breath. My shoulders sagged and I let my cellphone tumble to the floor. I hadn't a faintest clue as to where it was, but I didn't care. I tried to keep most of my emotions inside, but I couldn't.

I choked out a sob once the dam burst. I clutched my arms tightly to myself and fell, slowly, to the bed. There were several high pitched cries and I hadn't realized they were coming from me at the time. I curled up and covered my mouth, letting my own tears fall down my cheeks. I didn't care what I looked like. I didn't care if I looked pathetic.

It hurt. It hurt so damn much. I know we had been arguing. I know that it was a long shot he and I could last. I knew it was inevitable that it would come to an end. But I hadn't known, at the time, that it would hurt this much. I felt horrible. Worse than horrible, actually. My heart throbbed in my chest and I realized it felt like someone was twisting it in directions that the heart was not meant to go.

As I let myself cry, the room slowly closed around me and I could no longer breath. I had taken in several hacked up breaths through my tears, trying to get an ounce of oxygen into my lungs, but even when I did get air, it still felt like I was suffocating. And then I lost control of my muffled sobs and let every moan, cry and choked sob be released from my body.

As I cried, I felt my bed sink with added weight, but I didn't pay attention. It didn't matter who was here with me. It didn't matter to me at all anymore. I suddenly felt two hands grab me and I was lifted up. I didn't even glance up to see who it was. The only thing had I felt was two arms wrap around me. They were strong, comforting arms and I had been content to stay there.

Part of me didn't care who was holding me because I figured no one could make me feel better. My heart had broken in a matter of moments and I didn't know if it was possible to be repaired. However, warmth spread through me when I felt a soft voice murmur into my ear, the owner's chest rumbling underneath me, "Shh, Baby V, it's okay."

And that's when I knew.

Brannon.


Author's Notes:

So there it is! I hope you enjoyed it, everyone. Please R&R! Courtney and I love feedback!

Hugs and kisses,

Somewei