Morning Light

By Cait The Bloody Rose

Chapter 8 - The Gift Of Giving

~~~~

"So, are we going caroling tonight? It's Christmas Eve already..." Faye chimed in a little bit of a sing-song tone. Even people like her got excited during the holidays. Dorothy shrugged.

"I really couldn't care less." she muttered. She crossed her arms on the table and let her head droop onto them, letting her eyes flutter closed. Kagome gave her a hardy hit on the back.

"Oh c'mon, Dorothy... Try and cheer up for the holidays..." she said quietly, Inuyasha sitting next to her. "If you mean by caroling, Faye, that you want to karaoke..."

Dorothy's eyes lit up like she had just come downstairs on her first Christmas morning. Kagome saw the immediate change in her stupor and smiled to herself.

"Yeah, definitely, Kag..." Faye answered, smiling to herself. She was off work for the holidays and Spike was absolutely thrilled about this. Roger had been missing for the past several days. Nobody could find him on campus, so they assumed he went home to spend the holidays with his family.

"Maybe he's Jewish..." Inuyasha suggested, posing his hand like an elderly scholar. Kagome shook her head.

"I can usually tell. I don't think so. I know that Spike is Jewish. Hell, he's hiding in this place somewhere as we speak!" Kagome said, shifting her glance from side to side.

"DAMN YOU, KAGOME HIGURASHI!" yelled Spike from his hiding spot behind a bush. All of the group, minus Dorothy, erupted with laughter. Dorothy kind of smirked and then then let her face fall to its usual indescribable frown. Something always itched inside of Dorothy on Christmas. She always felt so lonely every Christmas. Everyone usually went home to their families. She stayed here. Locked herself into her room with her CD player belting at Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin while she sat on the floor with Pero and their three-foot-high Christmas tree. This year, something just itched. She was almost eager for it to come. So she could pass into the new year. Would this holiday finally leave her unscathed with her terrible memories? Only God knows.

'I hope I can find Roger...' she thought to herself. She suddenly shot upright. What the hell did she just think? Did she want to find Roger? He was annoying, tall, muscle headed... Cute, nice, kind of shy... WAIT! HOLD THE PHONE! Maybe he was so desperate to make friends with the guys because he never had any friends before? She didn't know if she should pity him or what. Before she came here, to Paradigm, she had know Kagome, Inuyasha, Sango, Spike, and Edward. They all had known each other in highschool. They had also known Kikyou.

"What time is it?" Kagome asked. Faye glanced at her watch.

"It's time to go." she answered. Kagome hoisted Dorothy out of her thoughts and dragged her to the car. From the snippets of the conversation that she hadn't been spacing out, the boys would meet them there.

~~~~

Roger sat on the stool, adjusting his microphone ever so slightly. His shifted his guitar around his lap for better access.

"This next song is for the holidays. This is my last song for the afternoon." he said, his voice echoing about the place. He strummed the first few chords and his soft baritone filled the room.

"The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top

The snow is softly fallin'

The air is still within the silence of my room

I hear your voice softly callin'

If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you

The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead

My glass is almost empty

I read again between the lines upon the page

The words of love you sent me

If I could know within my heart

That you were lonely too

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim

The shades of night are liftin'

The mornin' light steals across my windowpane

Where webs of snow are driftin'

If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

On this winter night with you

And to be once again with with you-"

Roger paused and looked at the door that clanged open. In walked the only people in town he knew and he was somewhat shocked to see them. Of all the places in town to come, they had to come to the Speakeasy. He decided to finish up the song.

"-To be once again with with you..."

He finished the last chord and let his head droop. The place erupted in applause. He shuddered at loudness. He heard someone call his name. He didn't bother to look up. He stood up and put his guitar away in its case. He just wandered off the stage, but was stopped in his tracks. This time he looked up to come face to face with those soft chocolate eyes that belong to only one person.

"Roger." she said simply. He tried to smile but really couldn't muster up the strength to. She wasn't smiling either, so it wasn't essential.

"I know I haven't been there long, but... That was really nice. Sad, but nice. You play very well." she murmured, lowering her gaze. She was confident her face was heating up.

"Um, thank you." he muttered, looking away. There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence. Very uncharacteristic is what they both thought of the other. She finally lifted her gaze up again. His eyes her slightly downcast. She finally worked up the courage to ask.

"Hey."

He immediately turned to look at her. She hesitated for a moment. Then opened her mouth to speak.

"Would you-" they both said in unison. They both flushed at the coincidence.

"You first." Dorothy said.

"No, I insist you." he responded. The same uncharacteristic silence flooded between them again. The sides of his mouth twitched upward. She followed suit.

"Would you like to spend Christmas with... " she began, but her shyness kicked in and her voice caught.

"With... You?" he finished. She nodded, her mouth still gaping in mid sentence. They both flush a deeper shade of crimson. They was a small pause.

"Please?" she said, her voice very coy and small. His eyes looked very serious and he was thinking very had about, his smile fading. He looked down. He was reminded of when he was small and he spent Christmas with his grandparents. Grandfather Norman sent him to this school saying this was where he graduated. He came back to reality and looked at Dorothy with a look of shock.

"Would you really want me to?" he inquired. Dorothy looked away for a moment.

"Yes." she murmured in that same quiet voice. "I would r-really like to not be... alone this year."

Roger looked shocked again and but a large hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner.

"Consider it done." he leaned down to whisper in her ear. She froze. Had he said yes? She couldn't really stop herself from giving him a quick hug around the middle.

"C'mon. Let's go meet the others." he said, beckoning her toward the table in which all of them sat.

"Welcome back, Dorothy! Hey Roger, nice job up there!" Kagome said, opening the seat next to her for the pair of them. Roger and Dorothy sat down and looked around, noticing Sango, Ed, and Miroku were missing.

"Ed was asleep. Sango and Miroku are working on the play. Romeo and Juliet this year." Faye said, answering the unasked question.

"We already signed you guys up." Spike said, answering another question that was floating in Dorothy's mind. "Roger is 2 and Dorothy is 7. They've been randomly drawing number for who goes up so I wouldn't really worry about being drawn anytime so-"

"NUMBER 7 PLEASE COME TO STAGE!" the booming announcer voice said into the room. Dorothy, in kind of a daze from the loudness, wandered to the stage and picked out her song. She popped her neck from side to side and stepped up to the microphone. She began to sing as the music played in, a sweet tone. It was music to Roger's ears.

"I'm sick of always hearing

All the sad songs on the radio

All day it is there to remind

An oversensitive guy that he's lost and alone, yeah..."

Dorothy smiled to herself and got lost in song. Her rich soprano filled the room with a sense of calm. Roger just watched as her emotion filled each word. It was unforgettable.

"I hate our favorite restaurant, our favorite movie, our favorite show,

We would stay up all through the night

We would laugh and get high, and never answer the phone...

I can't forgive, can't forget

Can't give in, what went wrong

Cause you said this was right

You fucked up my life...

I'm sick of always hearing

Sappy love songs on the radio

This place, it's fucking cursed and it's plagued

And I can never escape when my heart it explodes...

I can't forgive, can't forget

Can't give in, what went wrong

Cause you said this was right

You fucked up my life..."

She bobbed her head as the small solo intermission played in and began to sing quietly as it finished. Kagome couldn't help but feel the small pangs of sadness well up inside.

"I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me

What went wrong?

I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me

What went wrong...

I'm kicking..."

The song came to an end and Dorothy smiled to herself. She stood in silence, looking down at the floor in between her feet and the place applauded. She left the stage almost out of breathe. She smiled to the people at her table. Or at least tried to.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a singer?" whispered Roger to Dorothy upon sitting down. Dorothy flushed.

"I don't do it very often and this is how I work up the courage to, one day, perform in public." she whispered back. Roger's mouth made an "O" and he half-grinned at her.

"NUMBER 13 COME TO THE STAGE AT THIS TIME!" the announcer said, leaving everyone rubbing their ears.

"I'm up." Kagome said, slipping under the table and out from under it to the stage. Dorothy turned to Roger to tell him something about her music career, but found him absent from the table. She pouted for a moment, then realized he'd probably be back later. Little did she know that Roger was getting something very special.

"Where'd Roger go?" Faye inquired, looking around with growing interesting.

"Dunno. He'll be back." Dorothy muttered back, directing her attention to the stage as Kagome sang along to the tune of This Is The New Shit by Marilyn Manson.

"Babble babble bitch bitch

Rebel rebel party party

Sex sex sex and don't forget the "violence"

Blah blah blah got your lovey-dovey sad-and-lonely

Stick your STUPID SLOGAN in:

Everybody sing along!"

Dorothy always knew Kagome could sing. She was a killer bass player. She could play Seven Nation Army without falter. A very true friend. As Kagome walked off, Dorothy couldn't help but smile to herself.

"Nice." she said when Kagome arrived back at the table. Kagome looked some what melancholy, but mustered a smile back.

"Thanks." Kagome couldn't stop the small blush that crossed her face. She head was off in space at the moment as number 2 blared across the Speakeasy. Dorothy sighed. She was about the yell that he wasn't available at the moment, but speak of the devil, Roger ran up on stage. The crowd applauded.

"I guess that wasn't my last song after all." he said with a small laugh. The song began to play behind him and he paused.

"As I leave here today, apartment 108

I'll always keep you in my heart.

Anderson is cold tonight,

The leaves are scattered on the ground.

I miss the seasons,

And the comfort of your smile.

Sometimes this all feels like a dream.

I'm waiting for someone to just wake me up,

From this life.

As I look out at these fairgrounds,

I remember how our family split apart.

I don't think I ever told you,

But I know you always did your best.

And the hard times,

They only made us stronger."

Dorothy knew this song, but she couldn't think of the name. It was on the tip of her tongue. She felt heavy in her chest all of a sudden. She felt like someone had just cut off her air supply and her skin became pale. She noticed Kagome staring at her in a manner that almost seemed unhealthy. Her eyes seemed to say "are you alright?". Dorothy nodded furiously. Kagome practically flew up from her seat and grabbed Dorothy's forearm. Dorothy was yanked from her seat and pulled out the place faster than she could really think. Inuyasha had followed close behind, giving a fast explanation to the others who sat there. Roger had watched all of this play out and paused for a moment.

"I forfeit." he said quickly dropping his place from the microphone and bounding out of the room, following the streak of silver and red.

"Dorothy! Dorothy!" he heard Kagome call. He pushed his leg harder and paused when he saw Dorothy on the ground, her eyes glazed over. He couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath and Kagome shook her. Inuyasha watched in horror.

"She's-" Kagome gulped, turning to see Roger in the entrance of the alley. "We need to get her home. ASAP."

"Don't you think she needs a doc-" he began, but Kagome's glare silence him. "We can take my car. C'mon." he said, signaling for them to follow. Inuyasha picked up Dorothy in his arms and Kagome followed close behind him. Roger's car was old, black, and looked like it had seen a few years.

"Get in." Roger said. His voice was much more serious than usual, Kagome had noticed. Inuyasha, Kagome, and an unconscious Dorothy piled into the back.

"Sit down, shut up, and hold on." he said, driving off with a start. Roger seemed unconscious to the speed laws. He didn't slow down until stop lights and obvious places where there were police and people crossing the street. Otherwise, he got them back in under 10 minutes.

"Thanks, Rog." Kagome said, rushing up the rickety metal staircase with Inuyasha climbing up with Dorothy. Roger watched them disappear upstairs, his head pounding in his ears. His eyes burned. He was scared, though he'd never show it.

'Dorothy...' his mind whispered. This was the fourth month he had known her. He still barely knew anything about this girl. He could never read her emotions. He could never help when she needed it. Was this how he was supposed to be treated? He frowned and could feel the side of his mouth twitch in something of a snarl. Not only did he frown, but he felt his body burn with unseen rage. He charged up the stairs and founds Dorothy's room within seconds. He heard someone crying from the inside. It didn't stop him from grasping the knob, turning, and throwing open the door. He saw Kagome look up, tears streaming from her eyes like tiny rivers. His anger instantly melted away.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" she screamed, getting up and attempting to push him out. Roger struggled.

"Hold up!" he responded, pushing her bag. "I'm here to help!"

"How could you help her?" she asked no one in particular. Roger's eyes softened and he couldn't really think of anything to say.

"Exactly." she said. "Now leave."

"No."

"Why not?"

Roger looked completely crushed. He looked angry, yet depressed at the same.

"I just want to help her. If you watched someone suffering before your eyes, wouldn't you help them? Even if they pushed you away, attacked you even, wouldn't you?" he muttered, his face turning toward the floor. Kagome, shocked by his words, nodded.

"So doesn't that mean I have the right to help Dorothy?"

Kagome was quiet for a moment.

"She's in the next room. Close the door behind you. And lock it." she seemed almost reluctant to tell him. He nodded, patting her shoulder as he walked past. He saw the table littered with pills to his right and the door to his left. He reached for the knob and paused.

'Is this right?' he thought. He was torn. His hand shook around the brass knob and he turned it slowly. He gulped as the door opened. He saw Inuyasha kneeling next to Dorothy's bed, Dorothy muttering quietly, her eyes barely open. Roger collapsed onto his knees.

"Roger?" Dorothy's very quiet voice said from her bed.

"Roger took us here, Doro..." Inuyasha said in a comforting manner.

"Come here..." her voice was barely above a whisper. Roger crawled over to the side of her bed. She seemed paler, if possible. Inuyasha decided it was time to exit, looking down at Roger as if to say "take care of her". He nodded and looked at Dorothy's pale features, searching them for an answer. The door closed behind Inuyasha and Roger began to feel the air returning to him.

"Roger-"

"I'm just glad you're-"

They both paused. Dorothy had closed her eyes, gulping. Roger thought she was in pain and got up to get Inuyasha or Kagome, but Dorothy's hand reached him first.

"Stay." she whispered. He kneeled back down, resting on his knees. He watched her face, her eyes barely open. He couldn't deny it any longer. She was beautiful. He'd known that ever since they'd first met. She was one of the only people he could call a friend. The months had passed so fast. He could only remember the moments he had spent with her. She'd always disappear so suddenly. It was fine, and then everything went wrong. He couldn't play. He could sing, but vaguely remembering how. He just sat and watched Dorothy. She watched him back. She could barely feel the tears streak out from her eye and down her cheek. What she did feel was Roger reaching over and absentmindedly brushing it away with his thumb. His hands were so warm. She gently reached up her fingers and brushed them against the back of his palm. She felt the tears running down her cheeks now. He just watched her, lying there, helpless to do anything. He pulled his hand back, watching her.

"I'm sorry." she said, her voice a little louder than before. "I've left you in the dark this whole time, Roger. It's all so complicated to explain to someone. We've only known each other for a short amount of time. I already feel like I've known you forever..."

"Don't apologize." he muttered. "I don't deserve to know. I'm just here to help, that's all."

He felt like he was lying to himself and her.

"They're 1000 words I'd just like to say right now. Not just to you, but to everyone. I feel like... I've known you from somewhere. Somewhere I can't remember. It's just unspoken. I can't rememb-"

She broke off in a silent sob. Roger just watched her, his eyes reflecting her pain.

"Dorothy." he whispered the name. She blinked as the tears stung her eyes, most of them spilling down her face. She closed her eyes in an effort to stop the tears. He brought his hand back to her cheek, fitting his hand around it. She put her fingers upon his hand, his warm skin contrasting with her numb fingers. It felt so comforting just having someone near by. Her comfort level rose with Roger. She couldn't, for the life of her, think why. It was Christmas Eve.

"Can you stand?" he whispered. She nodded slightly.

"I think..." she answered. His hand left her cheek and she slowly sat up, the metal springs in the bed creaking and screeching. Her body begged her to lie back down, but she wanted to be strong and push herself if she was going to survive. She turn and bent her knee over the side of the bed and stood up, Roger rising with her. She seemed to struggle as she walked to the door, opened it and walked back into the living room. He followed her closely, not wanting her to be hurt more than she obviously was. He saw Kagome and Inuyasha asleep on the couch. The clock in the small kitchen read 10:32 pm. The time had passed more quickly than he had expected. Dorothy sat in a chair by the counter in the kitchen, where she just wept silently. A gray cat curling around the legs on the chair. Was this her only companion through her pain? He stomach churned at the thought. She looked up at him, her face pained. He walked over quickly, her hand instantly intertwining with his. His face involuntarily flushed and he gave it a comforting squeeze. She stood up, disregarding the cat she almost stepped on.

"Oh!" he said with a start, dropping her hand and fishing into his pocket. Dorothy's face contorted in confusion. He pulled out a small package, wrapped in paper that read 'Happy Fucking Whatever' in cursive handwriting. She couldn't not smile at the small joke. Roger forced it into her hand.

"Merry Christmas." he whispered. Dorothy stood there and looked at Roger. Pero mewled with joy, curling around Roger's ankle. Dorothy examined the gift for a moment, before carefully opening the paper. There was an elongated rectangular box encased in the paper. She opened it and a necklace with a black chain and a prismatic crystal lying at it's end. Her eyes softened, her tears were forgotten.

"I... Hope you like it." Roger said, barely able to control his stuttering. Dorothy looked up at him and smiled genuinely. She closed the box and put it on the counter. Without much warning, she walked closely to Roger and putting her arms around his neck. Roger blushed, but carefully put his arms around her waist as if her body was made of china.

"I couldn't ask for a better gift, Roger..." was all that she said.

~~~~

A/N: Happy Holidays and may the new year be fruitful and full of acceptance and love.