I look up at her, a few branches above me and ask, "What about you? Your family?"
" I um... my mom and dad died in an accident and my brother he-he was a drunk and-and he b-beat me." She starts to cry and I climb one branch higher to try to comfort her. "He kicked me out when I was 11 and I've been living on the streets ever since... I don't have a family." I step up, ignoring the fact that the branches quite possibly could break under my feet and I hug her, breathing in her warm scent. She's stiff at first, but then loosens up and cries into my shoulder. I hold her tight, loving every second, every fiber of my being alive.
I hear Shimmer and Corrie in the background, but all my focus is on my Pixie. She's standing in front of my, eyes red and puffy and still stunning.
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Do you want me to keep being an ss?"
Corrie waves to Arella, who jumps back from me, smacking her head into a branch. She sits forward, rubbing the back of her head. I sneer at Corrie, trying to put as much loathing into my voice as possible. "Coronarcher."
Corrie turns to go, clearly upset by my being there. I slip down from the tree, at eye level with him. "Oh, don't leave on my accout, Wells." I stalk past him, calling over my shoulder to Pixie, "See ya later, 'Rella. I'll be around." And I walk out of the training room without another word. I go up to the roof, on a small overhang above the normal part, and she doesn't see me when she comes up.
She starts singing that song again, but actually singing, not humming. Her voice is like angels. Until Corrie joins in. His scratchy tone is off key and sounds godawful.
"I just, I-I want you to know that I love you, but if you don't love me that's ok, but it would obviously be better if you did love me, and Donevin scares the ** out of me, and I don't want him to hurt you, so I don't want you to hurt him, and I'm sorry for doubting you, and...yeah...did any of that make sense?"
"I can't trust Donevin enough to love him... he hurt me. Um Uh I-I love you too Corrie."
"That's the best news I've heard in a long time. You know that you're still adorable when you blush?"
"I don't think that is ever going to change... I need to go talk to someone and its not Donevin." I put my head in my hands and cry for a little while. Most people find crying to be a sign of weakness. In my opinion, crying lets loose all of your sour emotions.
After who knows how long, I get up, and go inside. It's dark, but the halls have a little bit of light. Just enough to see her sitting against a wall with a doll clutched in her hands.
"Are you sleeping?" My voice is a barely audible whisper.
"No." She stops humming.
"What were you humming? I've heard it before." And it sounded so lovely coming from her amazing throat, from those perfect lips.
"Its was a lullaby my mom used to sing to me before she... died. I had another nightmare tonight but lucky you. You weren't the one killing me." I don't know what to say to the last part. Whether to inquire further or leave it as is, I mean.
"It sounded lovely."
"Thank you." She looks around, pausing for a moment. Right now I just want to wrap her into my arms and hold her and never let her go but she continues, "C-could you stop babying me?"
I'm confused at what she means, but I agree. Anything she wants, I'll do.
She puts a hand on my shoulder, and every nerve in my body lights up. I hear my heart pounding in my chest at how close we are. "It's not that you do it just... Shimmer thinks everyone does." She narrows her eyes, "I don't like him very much." It's good to see that I'm not the only one who's started to dislike him.
"I hate him." So now there's a mutual bond between us, through our dislike of Shimmer.
"He put a target on my back too." And that completes my hate of him. He scares Pixie, he's on my bad side. "Isn't he in your alliance?"
"He's a jerk."
"I know…he called me an it." My hand clenches in anger. Under my breath I curse him,
"Assh*le." She puts a careful hand on my cheek, fingers cold but gentle. I look into her eyes, wondering what changed.
"Don't let him get to you." I mimic her hand, putting my own on her cheek as gently as I can. My palm dwarfs her tiny face.
"Don't let him get to you." She looks at my hand, and for I moment I am scared I startled her.
"You're right, I am small!" I pull my hand back because too much of a good thing never turns out well.
"Yes! I win!" I try to keep the tone light, joking with her. She pushes me playfully,
"Is that the only reason you put your hand there?" No. No it's not. "Maybe you're just big!"
"Maybe you're just really, really small."
"If I'm so small-" she tackles me, messing around, but my heart takes off flying. She's on top of me looking into my eyes. We stay like that for a moment, and I feel like we're the only ones in miles. Her eyes are such a soft, beautiful brown, and I-I lean forward and gently press my lips to hers. The kiss lingers for a moment, so perfect. I pull back after a minute, not really sure of what she's going to think.
She slowly slides off me without another word, and walks away to the training center. I lean against the wall, feeling like I was just hit by a bus. That moment was…indescribable.
I find a small alcove somewhere and I curl up with a book. I read for hours, because it calms me, relaxes my emotions.
After a while, I emerge from my little nook and walk to the training center, trying to catch her there. But guess who gets in the way?
"So is it true?" Aria walks up.
"I don't know what you mean."
"I heard you kissed Arella this morning."
"And?"
"Are you seriously in love with her or is it an act?"
"Why would it be an act?"
"Just wondering."
"Why do you even care?"
"I don't know... I found out about the kiss and just wanted more details about your relationship with her even though she does have a boyfriend…"
"It doesn't involve you."
"I know." She throws up just barely missing my feet. I jump backwards out of the way, my nose wrinkling in disgust.
"I'm not that bad to be around."
"I know. I got electrocuted earlier so I've been puking and fainting all day..."
Kai walks up and I turn my back on him. "I see."
But he won't leave me alone, "Now see here...I just got electrocuted by a forcefield, ignored by a doctor, and nearly puked on by my closest ally. I don't need to be ignored by you on top of it all! I'm perfectly capable of throwing puke."
"Have fun with that." I try to walk away. All I wanted was to talk to her.
"We were at least allies at one point. You and Arella, totally out of nowhere..."
I whip around, "There's nothing going on between me and Arella!"
I stalk away from both of them. Kai is an ass and Aria is a traitor. What a great alliance!
As I turn away, I hear Aria and Xavier talking. They know. I bite my lip and pray that they don't tell Corrie before we can.
So I head over to Arella, and walk silently up behind her.
"We need to talk."
She jumps at the sound of my voice and turns around to face me. "About what?" She clearly knows what I mean, but is trying to evade talking about it. Not happening.
"You know what." I look around at the others in the room who keep shooting us glances. "Somewhere private."
"Fine. Where to?" I take her to a roof garden that's really peaceful.
I turn to her, ridding my voice of the regret that layer it. I don't want to say this, but I know that if I don't, she'll be more hurt. And I don't want to do that to her.
"Look. About earlier. I know there's stuff with you and Coronarcher, and I don't want to screw that up for you. So, I wanted to apologize. I should not have kissed you and I'm sorry." If she's happy, then that's all that matters."
"Uh-uh why are you sorry? It was my fault too I mean need I remind you, you were the one who pulled away..."
My fingers play with a small pink flower. "But I kissed you."
"But Ididn't hate it."
I look up in surprise, meeting her eyes. "Y-you didn't?"
"Not-not exactly..."
"But there's Coronarcher."
"Would you please stop calling him that?"
"What would you prefer?"
"I-I don't know."
"Okay." I bite my lip." Arella, I want you to know, you are the most wonderful, kindest person I have ever met. I'm glad to have met you." I start to go. "Find me if you have and nightmares."
I walk back to my room and stay there for a while. All of a sudden, I hear hushed voices. It's Aria and Xavier. They're telling Corrie. They are so dead in the morning. I shake with rage at them.
The lights go out and I leave the room, hoping that she's outside her room so I can 'trip' over her again.
I walk past her room and hear screaming, so I start knocking on her locked door, trying to wake her up. Quinn, another tribute tries to help, but I tell her off. She doesn't walk away. What is it with people and ruining moments?
Arella wakes up and opens the door, clothes and hair in a crazed—but stunning—disarray. "I'm fine," She leaves the door open and walks back and sits on the bed. I hesitate, deciding if I should go in or not.
"No, you're not."
"Well, I had a nightmare, " she falls backwards onto the bed, "I guess I didn't need to find you."
"In my district if someone screams, we all help." It's Quinn, refusing to leave, still.
"Please just go away." I turn away from Quinn, and sit in a chair in the room. "Why don't you tell me about it."
"Telling you would just make me relive the fear. I just want to forget, feel safe for once." I hug her, glaring over her shoulder at Quinn. She starts to smile, but doesn't.
"I'm tired."
"When you have a nightmare every night, that's what happens."
"You stay up every night and aren't tired... How do you do it?" She closes her eyes on my shoulder, face peaceful.
"Years ago, I would always have nightmares, so horrendous, I can't even describe them. I tried everything but nothing worked, nothing but not sleeping. So I spent my time secretly studying instead."
"That's horrible. You-you need to sleep."
"No. I'm never gonna sleep again."
"Well do you want to tell me about them?"
"No. I-I can't."
"I understand." She slumps backwards on the bed again. My hand moves of its own accord to her long, beautiful hair, and runs through it gently.
"You're petting my hair?"
I pause, "You want me to stop?"
"No-no you're fine." She sits up, wrapping her arms around her legs, pulling them to her chest. "We should do something fun."
"Like what?" An idea hits me and I jump to my feet and run to the kitchen, I throw food into a small picnic basket and run back to her room.
"What's that for?"
"Something fun to do."
"Are we eating?"
"Only if you want to. If we go up to the roof now, we'll be able to catch the sunrise."
"Why do you make everything about me?" I take her hand and help her to her feet.
"Because I want to make you happy." Well, that sounded a lot better in my head. A lot less corny…
"Well, thank you. But you really don't have to."
"Too bad."
"I figured I wouldn't get my way with that one."
We sit, at first, until an avox pulls Arella away. I start to follow but get wordlessly yelled at. So I veer off to the training room, where I see Xavier and Aria. I storm over to them, seriously angered.
"You two!"
Aria, ever sarcastic, "Well, good morning to you too, Donevin."
"Mornin'" Xavier. I stop my nose from crinkling in disgust.
"You friggin' b*tch! You told him!"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
'You know what about! Why the [insert favorite curse word here] did you have to [insert favorite curse word here] tell him?"
"Because he deserved to know. I mean if your girlfriend kissed another guy you'd want to know, wouldn't you?"
"I didn't mean too! I was telling Xavier when Corrie asked, but then I tried to cover it up, and then I told him…"
"You could have lied! You could have done anything! We were going to tell him later, but now you've gone and hurt him and Arella!"
"Look, we're sorry, but at least now he knows!"
Arella walks up when she sees us yelling, and I can feel my whole aura relax a little with her presence.
"Stop yelling at them. It's not their fault."
I look into her eyes and I sigh. I close my eyes for a second and turn away. I start walking away from them, hearing the talk continue.
I stop once I've calmed down enough and I watch them. Arella is upset when she pushes through them and starts walking away, and I follow.
"I'm sorry about that."
"Sorry for what? Yelling like that or yelling with me next to you? Are you sorry Corrie found out? No you probably are happy. To hurt him like that aren't you? Aren't you?"
That hurts. That she'd think so little of me? "I'm sorry for letting myself get out of control. I'm sorry for yelling like that, I probably would have hit one of them if you hadn't walked up. And I'm sorry Corrie found out like that. I know how much that hurts you, and I hate that. It would have been so much better for both of you for us to have told him."
"You didn't hit them because I walked over? I don't think you're getting something... You shouldn't even have thought of hitting them. Like when you kicked me... " She walks to her room, and shuts the door in my face.
To the door, I whisper, "I didn't hit them because everything about you relaxes me. " And then, I walk to the roof and sit on the very edge, watching the sunset alone. I feel so awful for everything. I have to find a way to make it up to her.
I don't hear her walk up, I'm so lost in thought, but I jump a little when I feel her hand on my shoulder. I don't look up. I don't speak. I don't move.
She sits next to me. "I sat there for five minutes trying to find something to say to you."
"Really? Five minutes?" I mutter to myself, "And I didn't even notice."
She leans her head on my shoulder. So everything is okay after all. "I'm sorry I closed the door..."
"I understand. And I really don't want to hurt Corrie."
She rolls her eyes at me. "You hate Corrie."
"Yes. But you love him, and hurting him would hurt you. And I don't want to do that."
"Well it's not you hurting him... I'm the one who cheated and-and I am just, I feel horrible."
"We need to tell him."
"Tell-Tell him what?" My breath catches. What if she really did want to choose him? Stupid, stupid me for jumping to conclusions cause she hugged me back.
"Who are you choosing? I'm not telling you to decide now. But when you do, let me know." I get up, leaving her space to think and walk down to the training room, climbing up into the branches of the tree to just sit and think. My eyes close and I think about everything that's gone on so far.
She bounds up into the tree to a branch near mine, but I open my eyes to watch her. She curls up against the tree and starts to hum.
"The lullaby again?"
"Sorry. Sometimes I sing without realizing it. Maybe it'll get you to fall asleep." She grins and comes next to me. Though it weighs heavily on my heart, I don't inquire about her decision.
"Maybe." I drape an arm around her and lean against the trunk of the tree. Though fake, they made it seem very real.
She sings, her voice like an angel from heaven, and it slowly guides me into a soft, dreamless sleep, curled between her and the tree, her strong, earthy scent strong in my arms.
A/N So I know this was reeeeaaaally long, but what did you think? Do you feel bad for Corrie? Do you like Aria and Xavier? Were they right in telling on Arella and Donevin?
