Selina smirked, "I'm beginning to think this is embarrassing Bruce more than it's embarrassing Alfred."

"If you're seeing Harley, I'm coming with you." Ivy said, her voice an airy whisper. "She owes me."

Cat, Bruce, and Ivy started off on their walk to Harley's mansion. It was past the police precinct, and they hoped and prayed that Jim wouldn't see them going past. Unfortunately, Jim could see everything. He ran outside and stood in front of the kids, asking what was happening.

"We were just going to Harley's house." the kids smiled.

Jim put his hands on his hips and sighed, "Isn't Ed supposed to be watching you?"

Selina nudged Bruce, smiling. "Yeah, he is. So that means this is his fault and he should be blamed for our mischief. Feel free to lecture him about that."

"That's it. I'm taking you back to Wayne manor."

"Wait!" Bruce yelled, using the same excuse he used with Montoya and Allen. "Would you like to peek inside Alfred's diary?"

It was uncanny how fast Bullock dashed outside and pleaded Jim to let him read it with him.

Dear Diary,

After yesterday's rousing success with the Quinzels, (and its spectacular failure with their daughter) we had decided to attend their charity ball as guests of honour. Of course, that meant taking Miss Pepper and Miss Kyle, who were currently riding in one of the Wayne's shopping carts, and getting them to behave. Of course, I could always just tie them up and lock them in the broom closet.

"We're going to a charity ball?" Miss Kyle asked, as I was getting them ready. "Are we going to have to dress nice again?"

"Yes, you are." I scolded, trying to brush her mangy hair. "So you'd better not embarrass me."

"Will Harley be there?" Miss Pepper chimed in.

"Her name is Harleen, and yes she will be."

I left them alone to change and went to pick myself a suit. Then I went back upstairs to find their hair exactly the way it was and their dresses cut and put on wrong. Notable mention goes to Miss Pepper, who fit her left arm through the neck hole. I decided it was the best I'd get them, and went out to the car. Master Bruce, Miss Kyle, and Miss Pepper sat in the back, and we were off to the Quinzel's mansion.

When we were there, I got out to open the door for them and saw Miss Kyle holding a toboggan in her hands grinning like a maniac.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.

"It's a sled. I'm going to sled down the stairs. What, are you allergic to fun?"

I grabbed the toboggan away from her and put it in the trunk of the car, and led the three into the mansion. Of course the two street girls ogled at the fancy lights and people in suits, and I had to remind them to look forward. Mr. and Mrs. Quinzel were at the front of the room, and their daughter was mingling with the crowd, the glimmering spectacle of everything I wished Miss Kyle and Miss Pepper were. Her hair was perfectly tied into pigtails and she wore a sparkling red and black dress that made me shy away from my two street girls and their messy clothes.

"Look!" Miss Kyle yelled, gaining the attention of a few passers-by, "It's Harley. Go say hi, Bruce!"

I heard my name being called, and had to go over and talk to some members of society, telling the three kids to stay close together and behave.

I left them for a few minutes, and surprisingly, nothing broke. It was only after that I saw Miss Kyle and Master Bruce on the stage holding a microphone, Miss Kyle smiling and Master Bruce looking quite jitter-ish.

"Harley Quinzel!" she yelled over the microphone, the feedback making all of us cringe. "This is for you!"

With that, she jumped back behind the drum set and started playing while Master Bruce picked up the microphone and started stuttering out the first few lines of Elvis Presley's I Can't Help Falling in Love.

I tried to hide my face as the two went through their duet, Miss Pepper joining in at one point on the guitar that she could not play and Miss Quinzel standing in the middle of the room, blushing and awkwardly giggling. To my half-shock, half-horror, Mr. Quinzel came onstage and started playing along on piano. A few more people started to join in on various musical instruments, drowning out Miss Kyle and Miss Pepper, and the last thirty seconds of the song were actually quite good.

The room erupted into applause, and I ran to find Mr. Quinzel. I caught him putting away the piano he was playing.

"Mr. Quinzel," I stammered, "I cannot apologize enough. I understand that was inexcusable-"

To my surprise, Mr. Quinzel shook his head, smiling. "No, not at all. This is a charity ball for the street kids of Gotham. A few street kids having fun completed the party!"

"For the street kids?"

Miss Kyle jumped off the stage and nudged me with her elbow, grinning. "I'll go get the sled."

For the rest of the party, I sat in the lounge and ate some Advil, not knowing whether to be relieved, or furious.

In related news, I'm doing a collaboration story with FanWriter83 about Selina going camping in the woods with Bruce, Jim, Alfred, Bullock, and Ed. It's really funny, and I think you guys are really going to like it, so definitely go check that out! Also, you guys really want to see Selina get spanked and it scares me a bit...