A/N: It took me way to long to get this chapter over with. Lots and lots of "Meet the New Boss" with just a bit of "Hello, Cruel World".
Tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Criminal Minds.
"If I go crazy then
Will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there, holding my hand?"
3 Doors Down, Kryptonite
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I looked up from the book I was reading to see Spencer standing next to me. We just called a cold case over the abduction of three women, and as usual in these cases, the mood in the plane wasn't high.
All of us kept thinking we could have done more. Each of us blamed himself for not managing to crack it. And as I was a complete mess in the six weeks that had passed since Castiel became God, and as September 23rd neared, it was harder for me to stay focused.
The option of breaking my year-long sobriety – the first time I managed to stay off the drugs and booze that long – and buy some Dilaudid to help me forget seemed more tempting as days went by, and I knew Reid noticed.
"No talking," I muttered, though I put my book down and marked him to sit next to me. "I can't… I don't think I'll handle it right now."
"You need to let it out," Spencer insisted. "You can't keep it all bottled up like this."
"Of course I can," I retorted. "No chick flick moments, remember?"
"You have to have some chick flick moments every now and then," he replied. "You keep it all inside and when it burst out, you turn to alcohol or drugs."
"I'll be fine," I bit out. "I don't need you to keep me clean."
"Chessi," Reid sighed. "I'm not here as your sponsor, or as your team member. I'm here as your best friend, who is genuinely worried about you. You need to talk about it."
"Talk about it?" I questioned. "I'm sorry, but what am I supposed to say? That my ex-boyfriend lost his mind and became God? That I can't even talk to my brothers, after almost fourteen years? That the season finale came and passed even though I was supposed to show up in it, according to what I was told in the parallel universe I was thrown into? There aren't programs to people like me!"
"But there's me," he said, unbothered by my words or my tone. "I'm here for you, and I'll always be. So, even if you don't want to talk about it, I know you need to cry. And I want to let you know that it's okay."
I looked at him, anger and disbelief burning inside me before I leaned back on the chair and put my head on his shoulder.
"I just want to forget," I muttered.
"But you can't," Spencer told me. "Instead, try to accept it."
"It's hard," I said, my voice breaking as I spoke.
"I know," he replied, leaning his head over mine and taking my hand in his. "That's why I'm here."
I wasn't even sure how things happened after that. All I knew that we landed roughly half an hour later, and that twenty minutes after that found Spencer and me in his apartment, the clothes coming off faster than I thought was possible.
"This is a bad idea," I muttered in between kisses.
"Definitely a bad idea," Spencer said, unhooking my bra with skill I didn't know he even had.
"We work together," I muttered in disbelief before my breath hitched as he kissed my throat.
"We work with profilers," he went on from where I stopped. "They'll know something is going on."
"Wanna hear a secret?" I asked, discarding the remaining pieces of clothing we still had.
"Yeah?" he asked, stopping to look at me.
"I don't care one bit."
Later, we were laying on the bed, Spencer's arm wrapped around me as I snuggled closer to the warmness of his body, my fingers trailing on his chest.
"Wow," he muttered breathlessly. "Just… Wow."
"The feeling's mutual," I said with a small smile. "Completely and definitely mutual."
"So you don't regret it?"
I pulled away to look up at him. "Of course not," I said. "I told you, I don't care about anything else."
"I thought you were just speaking in the heat of the moment," he said.
"I wasn't," I told him. "We are going to have a serious conversation about what happens next, but I don't regret it."
"What happens next?" Spencer asked.
"If it was a one-time thing, if we want it to continue." I hesitated for a moment before adding, "If we want to turn this into something more."
"Something more?"
"Only if you want to," I quickly said. "You don't have to –"
"I think," Spencer said slowly, cutting me off mid-sentence, "that we should talk about it tomorrow when we're both in a right mind." He pulled me close and held me to him protectively. "For now, sleep."
And, against my will and better judgement, a memory surfaced to the front of my mind – the memory of the first time I met with Castiel.
His voice, then stern and lacking emotion, ordering me to sleep. His hands, carrying me to my bed. The look on his face as he pulled his covers on top of me, and told me he was my guardian angel, and that he was always a prayer away.
Pushing the image away from my mind, I took in the feeling of the living, breathing human next to me, and drifted away to sleep.
Bobby was standing in the middle of a living room, reading out some sort of spell. Sam and Dean stood not far behind him along with a couple – supposedly the owners of the house who didn't seem all too pleased with the current use of their living room.
The room was shaking, glass shattering all over the place as Bobby finished the spell and my brothers looked around, waiting for something to happen.
"Um Hello?" Dean asked, nervousness clear in his voice. "Death?"
Please tell me they're not that stupid, I thought to myself, as a figure appeared behind us.
"You're joking."
So apparently, they are that stupid.
"I'm sorry, Death," Dean quickly said. "This isn't what it seems."
"Seems like you bound me," Death said, raising his hands and showing the silvery strings that connected them.
"For good reason, okay?" Dean said. "Just, uh, hear us out." He looked around for a moment, unsure of what to do with himself before remembering the package Sam placed nearby just minutes earlier. "Fried pickle chip? They're the best in the state."
"That easy to soothe me, you think?" Death questioned. "This is about Sam's hallucinations, I assume?"
What? I thought, confused.
"What?" Bobby asked, echoing my thoughts.
"Sorry, Sam," Death told him. "One wall per customer. Now unbind me."
"We can't," Sam said, regretting it immediately as Death's attention was passed on to him. "Y-yet," he added, somewhat awkwardly.
"This isn't going to end well," Death commented.
"We need you to kill God."
Death turned to look at Dean. "Pardon?"
"Kill God," Bobby repeated. "You heard right. Your… Honor."
"What makes you think I can do that?" Death questioned.
"You told me," Dean replied.
"Why should I?"
"Because…" Dean paused for a moment, trying to think what to say. "We said so, and we're the boss of you." He noticed the looks of pure horror Bobby and Sam were sending his way. "I mean… Respectfully."
"Amazing."
All four of them turned around to see what used to be Castiel, standing there and looking at them. His vessel was half-melted, burns similar to the ones that appeared on Nick's body before Lucifer took Sam as his vessel tracing his skin.
"Cas," Sam breathed.
"I didn't want to kill you," Cas said. "But now –"
"You can't kill us," Dean said.
"You've erased any nostalgia I had for you, Dean," Castiel told him, raising his hand.
"Death is our bitch," Dean said, causing Cas to stop mid-motion. "We ain't gonna die, even if God pulls the trigger."
"Annoying little protozoa, aren't they?" Death questioned, seemingly bored of the whole situation. "God?" he questioned, taking a better look. "You look awfully like a mutated angel to me. Your vessel's melting. You're going to explode."
"No, I'm not," Castiel said calmly. "When I've finished my work, I'll repair myself."
"You think you can because you think you're simply under the weight of all those souls, yes?" Death asked him. "But that's not the worst problem. There are things much older than souls in Purgatory, and you gulped those in, too."
"Irrelevant," Cas told him. "I control them."
"For the moment."
"Wait," Dean said, looking between Castiel and Death like it was some sort of twisted tennis match. "What older things?"
"Long before God created Angel and man, he made the first beasts," Death explained. "The Leviathans."
"Leviathans?"
"I personally found them entertaining, but he was concerned they'd chomp the entire petri dish," Death went on. "So he locked them away. Why do you think he created Purgatory? To keep those clever, poisonous things out. Now Castiel has swallowed them. He's the one thin membrane between the old ones and your home."
"Enough," Cas commanded.
"Stupid little soldier you are," Death remarked.
"Why?" Castiel questioned. "Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I did a service, taking his place."
"I happen to know someone who would disagree," Death sneered. "Service? Settling petty vendettas?"
"No," Cas said. "I'm cleaning up one mess after another – selflessly."
"Quite the humanitarian," Death mocked.
"And how would you know?" Cas asked, stepping closer. "What are you, really? A flyswatter?"
"Destined to swat you, I think."
"Unless I take you first."
"Really bought his own press, this one," Death said, looking sideways at my brothers. "Please, Cas. I know God, and you, sir, are no God."
"All right, put your junk away, both of you," Dean said, the nerves finally reaching him. "Look, call him what you want. Just kill him now!"
"All right," Death said, raising his hand to smite Cas when, with nothing more than a click of his fingers, Castiel unbind him. "Thank you," he said, amused by the way things were going. "Shall we kickbox now?" As Castiel said nothing, Death stepped away and sat down on one of the couches. "I had a tingle I'd be reaping someone very, very soon. Don't worry," he told the frightened couple. "Not you."
Dean, Sam and Bobby looked at each other with undisguised fear as Castiel disappeared.
"Well," Death said. "He was in a hurry."
He reached out for the pickle chips, eating them slowly as he drank his smoothie. He didn't seem to pay any attention to the other occupants of the room, which clearly caused Dean much distress as he moved forwards to speak.
"Shut up, Dean," Death said. "I'm not here to tie your shoes every time you trip. I warned you about those souls how long ago? Long enough to stop that fool. And here we are again, with your little planet on the edge of immolation. On that note, however," he said, sighing. "I'm not going to kill you."
"You're..." Dean was clearly surprised. "You're not?"
"You have this..." Death mocked. "I'd call her your guardian angel but I think she'll be offended."
"She?"
"Yes," Death said. "She. She has been watching you for longer than you'd known. Who do you think put you on the plane when Lucifer was set free? Brought Castiel to life time after time?"
"God?" Bobby questioned.
"She could be," Death said. "That was His initial plan. Though I don't believe she would take the job."
What? Why hadn't anybody told me about this part of the Prophecy?
"She was the one who helped you when Anna was trying to kill your parents. She faced the devil himself and walked away. She lived in a cabin for a year when Sam was soulless to keep an eye on Dean and took my ring for a day so you won't have to. And, once upon a time, Lucifer forced me to bring her back to life against her will. And she only asked for one thing in return."
"What did she ask for?" Sam asked.
"That when the day comes, and you two would do something that will make me want to smite you from existence –" He marked at the room, as if displaying the situation to them. "– I would spare you."
"So let me get this straight," Dean said. "You promised some chick you'll let us live, and you're actually doing it?"
"I'm not one to break my promises," Death said coldly. "But I do ask you for one thing."
"What?"
"Get rid of that whiney brat that calls himself God." Death replied.
"You want us to kill Cas?"
"Your only hope is to have him return it all to Purgatory," Death said, ignoring the side comment. "Quickly."
"We need a door," said Sam.
"You have everything you need at that lab," Death informed him. "Get him to return there and compel him to give up the power."
"Compel?"
"Call her for help," Death said. "She helped creating this mess, she should help you fix it."
"Call her?" Sam repeated. "We don't even know who is she."
"And that door only opens in the eclipse, and that's over," Bobby added.
"The angels call her the Child of Creation," Death said. "I believe you've heard of her. As for the eclipse, I'll make another. 3:59, Sunday morning, just before dawn, be punctual. Don't thank me," he added when Dean opened his mouth. "Clean up your mess." He turned to leave, only to stop and look at Dean. "Try to bind me again, you'll die before you start. Nice pickle chips, by the way."
And with that, he disappeared, leaving my brothers to turn and look at Bobby.
"So," Dean said, clapping his hands together. "What have we got about the Child of Creation?"
"I knew this conversation would happen soon," I said as I replied to the call from Bobby's phone. "I just hoped it would be a while longer."
I was at Reid's apartment, both of us curled against each other while reading until my cellphone rang. Slowly, I stood up and walked to the other room where I wouldn't disturb him and have some privacy.
"Am I on speaker?" I asked.
"No," Bobby replied. "But only because after everything, I feel like I owe you the benefit of the doubt. And let me tell you this – that's one heck of a benefit."
"What do you want me to say?" I questioned.
"That this is nothing other than the world's biggest coincidence," Bobby said. "That you haven't been lying to me for as long as I think you were – that you're not the friggin' Child of Creation!"
"And if I can't?" A heavy sigh was heard from the other end of the line. "How did you figure it out?"
"We started making a list of everything we know about the Child of Creation," Bobby said. "And things just added up. Friends with Gabriel, knows Cas, lost her husband and daughter during the Apocalypse, lived in a cabin outside the town Dean lived in while Sam was soulless."
"Did Sam remember meeting me back then?" I asked.
"You met with him?" Bobby asked. "Did you know he was soulless?"
"I knew there was something wrong," I said carefully. "I didn't know what, but when I found out I did everything I could to help."
"Taking Death's ring for a day," Bobby said in understanding.
"And making sure Balthazar was on our side," I added, thinking about the angel who now resumed his Clyde Easter alias in order to stay alive.
"You helped so much," Bobby told me. "Help out a little more."
"I can't," I said.
"Why?" Bobby asked. "Because it involves meeting Dean and Sam?"
"Exactly," I replied. "What am I supposed to tell them?"
"Just tell them the truth."
"I know I didn't do a lot to earn it, but I need you to trust me right now," I said. "Telling them the truth is a bad idea."
"Then don't speak to them," Bobby said. "Speak to Cas. Convince him to come."
The silence hung in the air for a moment before I replied.
"And if I won't?"
"I thought you might say that," Bobby sighed, before talking to someone who was on his end of the line. "Do it."
A weird feeling overcome me, as if an invisible rope is tied around me, and someone was pulling me towards them. I took a moment to disguise myself before succumbing to the feeling and finding myself in Bobby's basement.
"Did it work?" I heard Dean's voice asking.
"She's here," the unmistakable voice of Crowley replied. "Hello, love."
Was that really necessary? I asked.
"You wouldn't come on your own," Bobby started to explain, but I cut him off.
Not now, I said. The grownups are talking.
"Mind your tone, girl."
Mind my tone? I asked. You're the ones who summoned me. I didn't even know I can be summoned.
"Neither did we," Sam said. "We just sort of… took our chances and it work."
How did you do it?
"A bit of Angel summoning and a bit of Pagan God summoning," Crowley said. "Ninety percent hunch, ten percent recipe."
One heck of a hunch, I said. Seeing as the both of us don't really want to be here, can we end with it already?
"My pleasure," Crowley said. "Castiel got some extra mojo we want gone. Your job is to bring him to the warehouse on 3:59am Sunday morning, right before dawn."
And then my debt to you is cleared? I asked.
"You'll owe me nothing," he confirmed.
I don't suppose I have some sort of say in all of this, do I? I questioned.
"Pretty and clever," Crowley commented.
Consider it done, I told all four of them. Dean and Sam. Bobby. I suppose I'll see you Sunday morning.
"You could always stay longer than just dropping Cas off," Bobby said.
I don't think so, I retorted. Crowley – any chance you'll give me a lift home?
"With pleasure," Crowley replied, and with the blink of an eye I was back in Spencer's apartment and he was gone.
"Let me guess," Spencer said, looking at me from the other side of the kitchen counter. "You gotta go."
"I'll be back Sunday morning," I replied, grabbing my coat and keys. "And then we can continue from the point we stopped."
"I'll see you then," Spencer said, planting a short kiss on my lips.
"Can't wait," I replied, leaving the apartment.
Sunday morning arrived and I found myself standing with Castiel, who was not as reluctant as I thought he would be but wouldn't let go of my hand, my brothers, who were trying to replicate the spell used to open Purgatory and Bobby, who was constantly sending glares to where my invisible form was.
Sam had just gone to bring the blood jar from the supply closet as Castiel broke down, falling to the ground. I sat down next to him, allowing him to put his head on my shoulder all while feeling like I was doing something wrong.
I wasn't with Cas anymore. There was something new starting with Spencer. And I will never know what that is if I won't move on.
"Hang in there," Bobby said softly. "Just a couple of minutes."
Where's Sam? I asked them. It's go time.
Dean disappeared into the hall, and I could hear him calling for Sam but no reply came. He returned a minute later with the jar of blood, handing it over to Bobby.
"That's good enough," the older hunter said as he finished drawing the symbols and I helped Cas stand up in front of it.
"Okay, step right up, Cas," I said softly, helping him to his position before walking away.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Castiel said, looking at my brother before turning his eyes to where I was. "I'm so sorry."
Bobby read out the spell and the portal opened, white light coming out of Castiel and transferring into it. I waited impatiently until the last of souls left Castiel who had fallen on the floor and Dean and I ran towards him. Dean touched his face.
"He's cold," he said.
"Is he breathing?" Bobby asked.
"Maybe angels don't need to breathe," Dean offered in desperation.
"They do," I said, tears choking my throat as I stopped being invisible, the stress too much for me to hold. "He's gone, Dean."
"Damn it," he muttered, looking at the body. "Cas, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?"
I put Castiel's head in my lap and started stroking his hair.
"It's gonna be alright," I whispered. "Everything will be alright."
His wounds started healing and Dean gasped in surprise and anger.
"What are you?" he growled. "How did you do it?"
I opened my mouth to reply when Cas' eyes opened, that beautiful blue I've learned to know.
"It was not her who have done it," he said. "Do not harm her." I helped him up to a standing position and he shook his head slightly. "That was unpleasant." He looked around for a second. "I'm alive."
"Looks like," I laughed, tears in my voice.
"I'm astonished," he muttered, looking at himself. "Thank you – all of you."
"We were mostly just trying to save the world," Dean replied.
"I'm ashamed," Cas went on. "I really overreached."
"You think?" I asked.
"I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you," Cas promised, grasping my hand in his.
"Forgotten and forgiven." I said quietly, trying my best not to look into these deep, blue eyes.
"All right, well, one thing at a time," Dean said. "Come on. Let's get you out of here."
Castiel nodded, moving to step forwards before gasping and stepping back.
"You need to run now!" he called out. "I- I can't hold them back!"
"Hold who back?" I asked, scared.
"They held on inside me," he muttered. "Oh, they're so strong."
"Who the hell –"
"Leviathan!" Cas cut Dean off. "I can't fight them. Run! Go! Go get Sam!"
I turned to run but his hold of my hand tightened. I look to see his pupils turned black.
"No!" I called. "Cas, fight it! I know you can!"
"Cas is," the thing that controlled Cas chuckled. "He's gone. He's dead. We run the show now." He looked down at my hand, still intertwined with his as black lines started crawling up his neck and to his face. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun."
It flew Dean over to hit a wall and Bobby on a desk. It then looked at me and smiled but the smile shifted to a pained expression. Black eyes turned blue again and he let go of my hand. I took the moment to step out of the monster's reach and to check on Dean.
The monster took control again, clearly agitated, but instead of starting a mess like I thought it would, it looked at us.
"How many of you bitches are in there?" I asked, stepping away from it and towards my brother. "A hundred? More?"
Dean looked at Cas' hand, where black goo started dripping. "Your vessel's gonna explode, ain't it?" he asked. "Wouldn't do anything too strenuous. In fact, I'd call it a day, head on home." He laughed, but there was no real humor to it.
"We will be back for you," it said in Cas' voice, looking at me before walking out the door.
"Well," Bobby muttered. "This is a new one."
"Who are you?" Dean asked, looking at me. I knew he couldn't see my face from where he was looking, but he must have seen it fleetingly during the mess that had just occurred.
"No," I whispered.
"We deserve to know!" Dean called. "After all of the shit we've been through, I deserve to know who the hell you are. For real."
"You already know," I whispered, leaning in next to Bobby and fixing the cut he had on his forehead. "You just don't want to believe it."
Dean looked like he wanted to shout at me before he remembered something. "Sam," he said, pulling himself up and running to the hallway. "Sam!" he shouted and suddenly, our brother is in view.
"Are you good?" Dean asked.
"Yeah," Sam replied, before noticing me. "Diana."
"What?" Dean's head turned.
"Now is not the time," I interrupted, choking back the tears. "We need to find Cas."
"He can be anywhere," Bobby said and I smiled bitterly.
"You can say I have this... Cas Radar." The boys looked confused and Bobby frowned. "Long story," I dismissed, running outside and passed Darlin. At the sight of the motor, Dean's face lit with realization, but I ignored it and marked them to follow me.
I followed where Castiel's piece of Grace directed me until we reached a pond-like water resource, just as the creature stepped in. I tried to run towards it, but Bobby held me still.
We watched, unable to do anything as Castiel disappeared underwater. A moment passed before a pulse of the black material came from the center of the lake to the edges of the water.
Bobby let go of me and I stumbled forward until I reached a bush at the shore.
I grabbed the all-too-familiar trench coat, held on to it and cried.
