A/N
Sorry sorry sorry!!!!
I know I'm totally late updating… but life got in the way!!!!
Here it is though… and you know what they say about being patient right?
It (usually…) makes the result much more appreciated… right?
I shall now shut up. Enjoy.
(OK one more thing)
THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS!! You keep me going!!!!
Marik felt at his absolute lowest.
This was never what I planned…
Maybe Bakura was right, spending all his time playing the same old games made him very obvious.
He had just gotten so caught up in Bakura, and everything around him, that he simply hadn't spend time trying to not be obvious.
"Why did it never cross my mind that Bakura's so much smarter than me?"
The man staring back at him in the mirror didn't have the answer.
That man resembled nothing Marik used to stand for, he missed those days still having the upper hand in situations.
Now he was actually caring and it scared him more than anything.
He was feeling. How utterly horrible.
And on top of that he was also very disappointed. Not only about his plan not succeeding, but also disappointed about Bakura finally putting his games to a stop. By doing that he also putted Marik's entire life to a stop.
"Was that truly all I was doing with my life? Playing games with Bakura? Why…?"
The man in the mirror seemed clueless, but deep inside Marik had always known.
Because you liked spending your time dealing with him… you loved it.
Marik shook his head. It didn't matter anymore.
Hanging around Bakura was no fun if he couldn't toy with him, now that the chase was over, the bitter truth remained.
"You're all alone, Marik Ishtar"
The man in the mirror didn't flinch, but his heart silently fell heavy.
After a long night without much sleeping, Marik woke up, and he felt strangely energized.
Maybe yesterday had been good for something, since it had somehow left Marik feeling ready to change.
A new start, no Bakura.
So grabbing a big plastic bag Marik went through his home collecting all the empty bottles and other garbage he found spread across the floor.
After hours of hard work he was pretty satisfied with the outcome, his house seemed so much bigger without the mess.
Opening his dark curtains to let the sunlight in he took a deep breath. The walls of his apartment looked horrible. They were in urgent need of a new paintjob.
And then there were his locks, they needed to be replaced too, and his doors… furniture… everything. His whole apartment truly looked quite bad, but then again, it always had and until today it hadn't bothered Marik at all.
"When I'm done here, this place will look just as fancy as Bakura's home"
Realizing he was still thinking about Bakura Marik felt angry, and made a promise to himself to never, ever, mention or think that name again.
A while had passed and Bakura was laying down on his couch.
His house was a mess, and so was he.
After that day Marik left things had quickly gone downhill.
To Bakura feeling empty equaled feeling unmotivated and that feeling depressed him. But he disliked the feeling of depression so much it actually made him angry. It was just safe to say Bakura was not feeling happy, his eyes would avoid every mirror in his home, afraid he wouldn't be able to recognize himself.
But those empty bottles of wine standing on his table reminded him of Marik so he chose not to remove them, afraid he would forget.
Somewhere that empty feeling felt good. It made him feel alive.
He felt pain.
But at least he knew for sure that he was feeling.
So strange… Marik feels alive being surrounded by idiots in clubs… he feels alive feeling good… and I only get to experience that feeling when I'm missing something. Missing him. Feeling him… no more.
Bakura's cold laugh filled his apartment, echoing through the room, another reminder of how empty it was.
"Finally I understand you, Marik. It's all to feel alive… all to keep busy, so you forget being alone… does that mean I've won? Figuring you out? I feel like I've lost more than I wanted… but at least I've won"
Bakura spoke the words out loud, realizing what they meant.
Winning was no fun like this. No fun being alone.
Look at you… how pathetic. If you feel so bad about this situation why don't you go and deal with it? Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself won't change a damn thing. Get up fool.
Bakura stared at the ceiling, his gaze empty. Maybe he just didn't want to get up and deal with it. Deal with Marik, because obviously the game they used to play was over. Still, what was his life without Marik? And did they really need games to be around one another? Bakura didn't like that thought. He wanted to get to Marik, he had promised himself he would not so long ago so why was he giving up so easily now? He hadn't gotten through to him half as much as he would have liked. This couldn't be it… could it?
This is not who I am, this it not the man Marik almost slept with… and it's certainly not the man I want to be for the rest of my days.
He got up, his body sore from laying down on his couch in the same position for hours.
He walked into his bedroom right up to his mirror.
He looked himself in the eyes and grinned.
"This is not who you are, Bakura. Now get yourself together, right now"
It worked, his own mind had always been enough to bring him right back to reality. He was more determined to deal with Marik than ever before.
Yes, Bakura was ready.
He slipped out of his house ready to give his all, ready for Marik, ready to be alive…
The sun was already setting when Marik heard a soft knock on his door.
Better not be that lady down the hall complaining about the noise again…
And Marik opened the door to find a pair of dark eyes staring into his own.
Bakura walked passed Marik into the apartment, not waiting to be invited inside.
Marik instantly felt more uncomfortable with Bakura back again, and this time he wasn't going to hide it. He didn't want Bakura back, not now that he was doing so good being by himself.
"What do you want?"
Bakura didn't bother to turn around, and continued to gaze out of the window.
Marik was starting to feel very agitated by Bakura's presence, and his behavior.
Walking up to Bakura he roughly grabbed his shoulder, turning him around to face him.
He smiled.
"You look good"
Marik raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, you look like shit"
Bakura's smile grew wider and he slowly whispered "I know, that's why I'm here"
Marik took a deep breath, even though he was very curious why exactly Bakura came back, he still knew that there was no further changing for him if he kept spending more time with Bakura.
But had he truly changed that much? He had been telling himself that he had, countless of times. But had he really? The house was already starting to look messier every passing day, and besides the locks being changed allowing his front door to be able to close and lock properly nothing significant had occurred in his home.
"I want you to leave, you've already made your point, you're smarter, better and faster than me, what else could you possibly want?"
Bakura slowly shook his head, he whispered "you don't understand"
"I understand perfectly fine! You're only here to rub it in, to tell me again and again how perfect you are!"
Marik felt so angry, he didn't want to deal Bakura and that attitude of his again.
"I am very far from perfect, so don't you dare call me perfect ever again."
There was something strange about Bakura's voice, and it made Marik feel very strange as well…
After taking another deep breath Marik spoke on a softer tone.
"Fine, you're not perfect, but I still think it's better for you to leave, I'm busy."
"You're busy" Bakura echoed.
"You and I have forever, and you can't find the time to talk to me?"
Bakura's eyes were dark as he started to walk around the room.
"Did it ever cross your mind, mister smart, that maybe I don't want to talk to you… I have nothing to say"
Bakura briefly turned around, his eyes piercing right through Marik's own.
"Nothing? I doubt that"
"Trust me" Marik said trying to sound as cold as possible.
"I'll never trust you…"
And Marik, once again, found Bakura standing right in front of him, their faces so close… only this time the tension was so very present, and unpleasant that Marik would have done anything to get away. But his feet wouldn't move, in his mind there was only one thought.
Do it, come on… I know you want to… that's why you're here isn't it? Dammit Bakura… do it.
But Bakura didn't do anything.
He just stood there, motionless.
His eyes dark, cold.
Just as cold as his fingers when Marik felt them against his cheeks when Bakura cupped his face in his hands.
Marik instantly grabbed a hold of Bakura's wrists, unsure about what he was trying to do.
"Tell me… tell me why you came back" Marik's voice broke.
"I was alone" Bakura simply said, and a sad smile came across his face.
No more lies, Bakura, no more games… you promised.
And promised he had. Bakura didn't even found it hard to be honest about what he felt. It came almost natural.
Right now, was all that mattered.
Marik was at that moment having a much more difficult time dealing with his feelings, Bakura… everything was so confusing. He hated it when he was feeling confused. But luckily for him he hardly felt like that though… only when around Bakura.
I just need you to do it… please just do it… I can't… If you don't then I'm done with it.
"This is ridiculous…"
Pushing Bakura's hands away Marik walked to his kitchen, leaning on one of the counters.
Where's the damn booze when you need it… I can't believe I threw it all away.
Then Marik remembered, when he decided to change his life around he did keep a couple of bottles, hidden in the back of one of his cabins just incase.
"Yes!" he mumbled grabbing a some strong liquor, and he didn't waste any
time taking a large sip straight out of the bottle.
With the bottle in his hand and a smirk on his face he walked up the Bakura, who was still standing there motionless in the middle of his living room.
"Sit" Marik commanded.
Bakura looked at him a little confused but he couldn't help but feel a little relieved, he at least recognized the old Marik again, something he hadn't when he first stepped back into the apartment. It looked different, quite clean, and Marik was so quiet.
Marik took another long sip out of the bottle before handing it to Bakura.
"Drink, it may help you to relax a bit"
Bakura chuckled remembering his own words not so long ago.
Things weren't so complicated back then.
A/N
Review? Anyone?
